Love isn't something you can't explain. It's an experience you choose daily, hourly, every minute, every second. It's not something that happens to you on your blind side. It's an active part of your consciours decisions. Finding love is intentional work, it is not falling in love or hoping for love. It is all about taking conscious and active steps to find love (person) that complements you and vice versa for the goals you both want to achieve in the long term.
I shared a post appreciating my husband on my WhatsApp status and had a question asked by one of my contacts thus: "how did you know you love him or wanted to marry him? I'm still wondering how people make that decision". I thought it'll be useful to send a quick audio note sharing my answer, so I did. Then I thought it'll be great sharing it with others, so here you go.
My answer is this: I found a quality in him whilst we were friends that mattered to me more than anything else I may have fantasised about in a marriage partner. That quality was stability amid my busy self. I have the tendencies to come with so many ideas and chase all of them at the same time. He had that quality of stopping me in my tracks and making me reflect on what I was doing. I realised that if I ever wanted to get married, that will be something that I will need a lot. So even whilst friends, without catching feelings I made a logical decision that if he ever asked me to marry him, the answer will be yes. Of course, he was a Christian and came from a family with a great example of a husband and a father, thus those also aided the decision. However, what stood out the most to me was that quality of strength and stability I recognized in him.
In our first episode, we speak to an experienced counselor to unpack some things that from her experience determine the success of a marriage relationship.
Listen to the full episode here: https://anchor.fm/radical-marriages/episodes/Factors-that-Influence-the-Success-Prospects-of-a-Marriage-ekbkej
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Your marriage can end before it starts. Most counselors can see whether a marriage will work from the first day they interact with you as a couple. In this episode, we speak to Mrs Sophia Afenyo, a professional counselor who has counseled lots of couples across the country (Ghana). She is a certified APS (Arno Profile System) temperaments counselor & delivers the test.
The major factors we discussed are:
Note: This was an unplanned conversation, but I thought it worth sharing. Hence the noise in the background. We were watching football in the hall, so you hear the football in the background. I hope you still hear everything though.
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It's easy to let structure, timeliness & organisation win in our families as wives, but we need to watch it so it doesn't win in our marriages. Our organisation of the home & family shouldn't interfere with & override the direction God has given to our husbands to move the marriage in.