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Kreezus
Kanye West / Local Business Comedy
10 episodes
3 months ago
What if Kanye West thought he was Santa Claus, and rapped about it - set to the tracks of Yeezus
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Music
Comedy,
Fiction,
Comedy Fiction
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All content for Kreezus is the property of Kanye West / Local Business Comedy and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
What if Kanye West thought he was Santa Claus, and rapped about it - set to the tracks of Yeezus
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Music
Comedy,
Fiction,
Comedy Fiction
Episodes (10/10)
Kreezus
Wrapped 2
Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) was produced by Local Business Comedy.  Wrapped 2 written by Nick Gligor.  Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries.  Vocals by Carl Tart, Nick Gligor, James Ross, Markeia McCarty. [Hook] Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts  (Ho­ho, Santa) [Kanye] All them other Kringles lame, and ya know I’m packed  When ya sit on Santa’s lap, kids supposed to yap  WRAPPED... [Hook] Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts (Ho-ho, Santa) [Verse 1: Kreezus] What you doing in the mall Black Friday? She say she here put a iPad on layaway Drink Julius but you still look thirsty Shop Forever 21 for Jesus's burfday I know I got a toy makin' station Bowl-full-of-Jelly Red Cheeks reputation Leave-a-pouty-kid-coal reputation Start a Toy Club, Nerf reputation I turnt Rudolph into somethin' amazin' I'll turn the sleigh 'round, his ass keep complainin' How you gon' whine for the duration? Rudy flying around all the fuckin' Nation! Ho, this that snow shit This that get-ya-dad-to-shovel-and-blow shit This that slip-right-off-the-roof and say “Oh shit!” Got a fresh cut, stubbed my big toe bitch [Bridge: Charlie Wilson] I know you're tired of wrappin, of wrappin' With nobody to gift Nobody, nobody  (Ho-ho, Santa) [Kanye] Close your eyes, let me deliver to a thousand kidses One good kid is worth a thousand giftses WRAPPED WRAPPED I wanna gift you hard on a rink After that, milk and cookies to drink Step back, thumb my nose n wink I mean damn, what would Ja-Jeezy-Jeezy-Jeezy Christ think?  Hey, you remember whatcha first gift? Okay, I don't remember whatcha first gift But hey, givin’ is the first step And hey, you know ain't no Santa perfect And I know, these ho ho’s you’ve come to expect But hey, these kids I never neglect And hey, ayo, we made it: Thanksgiving So hey, maybe we can make it next Christmas Kid asked what I wished for on my wishlist Have you ever asked a kid for other kidses? Baby, you still think that I’m fictitious? Maybe, but who be giftin’ all your wishes? After all this long-ass evenin' I'm tired, you tired Jesus slept [Bridge: Charlie Wilson] I know you're tired of presents, of presents With nobody to gift Nobody, nobody Just gift somebody, this holiday party With nobody to gift Nobody, nobody  (It's a silent night, it's snowing) (Ho-ho, santa) [Kanye West] Saint Nick’s in the house, like a mouse  Saint Nick’s in the house, like a mouse WRAPPED [Hook] Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts (Ho Ho Santa) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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4 years ago
4 minutes

Kreezus
Gift It Up
Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) was produced by Local Business Comedy.  Gift it Up written by Joey Clift.  Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries.  Vocals by Carl Tart, James Ross. [Intro: Beenie Man] We buildin’ them gifts? Christmas [Verse 1: King Louie] Makin’ gifts bitch call me Elvish Toys R’ Us can call me selfish My toy trains got 'em jealous Kreezus’ killing, while I'm drilling Sleigh Bells how they make the news Meanwhile I’m makin’ shoes Got my reindeer lined up in twos Makin’ toys with hammer and screws I’m an elf, so I got the tools and we buildin’ those gifts to move I be gifting hard, I got a name to prove Makin’ all the children’s Christmas day improve [Hook: King Louie] We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts Kreezus! [Verse 2: Kanye West] This the greatest Jingle of the Bells Since “Jingle Bells" Bag packed, I might lug it around On my reindeers back like my sleighs got bells She say "Can you call me 'Carol of the Bells'?" I say "Can you play 'Carol of the Bells'?" If not, treat your name like my sleigh Leave they ass off gifts, til you change your way  When I give gifts, I like wrappin them When I write names, I like to sign in pen When I get a box, She gotta a gift again She can't get a box, that bitch snowed in The weather cold, even for snowmen Ruby red on my nose again Eating cookies straight outta the tin Kreezus shovel snow again [Hook: King Louie] We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts [Outro: Beenie Man] Christmas Gifts don't live like presents do Santa always 'member you Whether kids are good or bad It's the gifts that make kids glad Christmas Gifts don't live like presents do Santa always 'member you Whether kids are good or bad It's the gifts that make kids glad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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4 years ago
3 minutes

Kreezus
Milk Trip
Kreezus was produced by Local Business Comedy. Written by Stephen Perlstein.  Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries.  Vocals by Carl Tart, Joey Clift, Nick Gligor [Intro] I need to make a stop I need to, I need to drink a milk 'Nother one, cookies gone  Snickerdoodle Walking up, on the lawn  Almond milk, and milk on ice She get her gifts I'm eating mine [Hook: Popcaan] All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone  Dem cookies gone gone gone, sof-sof-softer sof-softer  All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone  Dem cookies gone gone gone, wash em down with milk [Verse 1] Maybe it's cause she love Oreos And I was in Cerritos, Parking atop a gazebos I could have milk, I like em cold Those cookies I will Repo The carrots I veto Then drink milk by myself And I'm feelin' full right now Cause it's the time when the milk got washed down  Crocker! Crocker! Betty, Crocker! Crocker! Pour a little skim milk, cookies i will Nom Ya Feelin' so good like I never could with SALSA  Frosting is a symphony, so this is a OPERA I'm eating chocolate chip, until there is Nada This milk on a higher plain, call me Dalai Lama On to the next casa Dropping off boys gifts here is a, TONKA Pause when I bite, yeah, eating with a Comma  Save one for Mama Nada one left for Mama, Hooooo! [Hook] All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone  Dem cookies gone gone gone, sof-sof-softer sof-softer  All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone  Dem cookies gone gone gone, wash em down with milk  [Bridge: Popcaan] None ah dem have the treats so I don’t stay spray  None ah dem have the milk so I get in my sleigh [Interlude: Kid Cudi] Ho, Ho, Ho If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk! If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk! If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk! Left me milk, left me milk, left me milk, left me milk If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk! Left me milk, left me milk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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4 years ago
4 minutes

Kreezus
Lights on the Trees
Kreezus was written and produced by Local Business Comedy. Lights on the Trees written by Stephen Perlstein.  Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries.  Vocals by Carl Tart, Markeia McCarty. Local Business is a new sketch comedy group helmed by Joey Clift (Wabbit, Cracked), Nick Gligor (Fox ADHD, Cracked), and Stephen Perlstein (Wabbit, UCB Comedy). Corporations are not people, but Local Business is! [Intro: Nina Simone] Strange ornaments hanging from the christmas trees  Lights on the trees [Verse 1] I just need to clear the snow now It's been building since last Christmastime  Now I'm going down for Christmas now  And all I want is not to go fly now Cause I ain't got the gifts on me right now  And I told elves to build Yeah, I told elves to build But I'mma need a little more time now  Cause I ain't got the giftiess on me right now  And I thought elves could build Yeah, I thought elves could build These kidses surrounding me All want something from me Then they sit up on me There’s no gift without me We could've been Snow Buddies Thought you'd be nice kids 'bout it Now I know you naughty So let's fly on with it [Verse 2] We could've been Snow Buddies  'Stead you had to get gift hungry  Let's take it back to your first Barbie  When you asked for it from mommy  She said no to your malarky She said no to your malarky But you got Barbie from me And you was screamin' "POUND PUPPY!"  Before the Wish List tore ya Before the Wish List stole ya  'Member Christmas was so fun? When I would gift yaaaaaa Before the lights on the trees I know this fake Christmas tree  Something strange is happening [Verse 3] You could've been Snow buddies We could've Ho! We could've been Snow buddies Or was it cause the first Barbie When we hung our first Holly The gifts came from our heart-y The gifts came from our heart-y Before they call stores Before the Black Friday shoppers How you gon' fight through the stores? It's like I don't even know ya I gotta bring it back to the Claus [Bridge] Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer  I ride with my Reindeers I'd die for my... [Verse 4] To all them Jewish ass kidzes, try and get a freebay Trying to get a freebay, now you talkin' crazy I don't give a damn if your mom used to see me It ain't Christmas, this business, need stop actin' greedy She Instagram her gifts like #BadGiftAlert I Instagram her back like #KidBitchAlert I only ever see that sass gettin worse  Two-thousand-pound coal, too big for your purse Now you sittin' fireside, presents on the other side No labels got your name, gotta check the card right Then you aint satiated, I’m still flying world wide Then you gotta go and tell your dad and thwart that  Main reason cause your gift-friends got to sport that  Mommy say you ain't appreciate and take them gifts back  All your fucking gifts going back on the gift rack Nothing now for show and tell, what you think about that? All in all your tinsel honey, uh Yeah-yeah, I got you girly Next year I’ll gift you hard Ho, Christmas aganony [Outro] That winter night holding long and long, 'din long  Now waiting for the birthday gifts and (cry) And cry and cry And cry and cry And cry and cry And live and learn And live and learn And gifting and gifting like I'm lonely, lonely, lonely And gifting all I have And gifting all And gift And gift Download link: https://soundcloud.com/local-business-comedy/sets/kreezus Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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4 years ago
6 minutes

Kreezus
I'm In It (The Chimney)
Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) was produced by Local Business Comedy. Written by Joey Clift.  Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries.  Vocals by Carl Tart, Ify Nwadiwe, James Ross. [Verse 1: Kanye West] Damn your bricks very rough Covered up in soot n’ stuff And I think I see a dead bird Ho Ho Ho is what you heard Gift Bags, Reindeer, jingle bells presents, gifts, bows, coal, Kris Kringle bells So many gifts, I need to crash Empty bag, stockings full, gifts at last Thank Claus almighty, they gifts at last Silent as a mouse and I’m leavin' fast You want a gift for your cat, didn’t even ask Just kiddin', I brought him a toy, he’ll have a blast Stuck in a chimney, all those hours lost Eatin' Christmas cookies, all I need was milk as dippin’ sauce  Fire place? Please turn the power off Tub covered in soot when I turn the shower off [Bridge: Assassin] That's all Santa can do, say what? (Ho Ho, Ho Ho)  That's all Santa can do We deal with Santa ting Just a Santa ting, a' fat man do Santa thing, you a fat man thing [Verse 2: Assassin] I'm a Santa if you know say Respect we know gifts, It’s Christmas day Try that 'pon December 25th That's right, we talkin’ Santa’s sleigh When we roll 'up 'pon your roof Yeah badda we givin’ gifts, like a Toys R’ Us  When we roll 'up 'pon your roof Yeah badda we givin’ gifts, like a Toys R’ Us And your roof’s covered in slush Ho ho ho ho ho ho it’s Christmas day [Hook: Kanye West and Justin Vernon] That's right I'm in it, (Talkin’ bout the Chimney) I'm in it (Chimney’s hard to climb) That's right (Yeah, It’s a chimney) I'm in it, (Singin’ bout that chimney) That's right, I'm in it (Don’t burn nothin’ in the chimney) I'm in it (Chimney is a Chimney) Saint Nick’s got a ruby red nose, But climbin’ chimney’s is hard on your clothes [Verse 3: Kanye West] Ho, picked up where we left off Ho, turn that T.V. set off Ho, you watching Christmas specials Ho, you got lotsa tinsel Ho, you love your toe with missiles Ho, wrap a whole lotta gifts now Ho, You know it’s Christmas time Livin’ room’s bright, it’s Christmas light time Red gifts with a white twine Jingle bells at the right time Open gifts like HOOOOOOOO! [Hook 2: Assassin, Justin Vernon, and Kanye West]  I’m in the Chimney and I can't get out (That's all dem can do (Wiggling legs) I’m in the Chimney and I can't get out (Wiggling Legs) (Wiggling Legs) It’s a Santa ting Just a Santa thing, a' fat man do Saint Nick’s got a ruby red nose [Bridge: Justin Vernon] Say you got a gift for me, for you Hey, gifts and presents rule Gift Giver Gift Giver Gift Giver Ho, Ho [Outro: Kanye West] Givin’ lotsa gifts right now Ho, Christmas tree full of lights now Ho, got the cookies-and-the-milk life  Ho, elf hammer and drill life Ho, there ain’t shit for the bad kids  Ho, they’ll have coal for a nightlight  Ho, North pole like the klondike Ho, cookies make me wanna take a bite  Ho, Santa start a new movement  Ho, Little drummer boy drummin Ho, Droppin’ yuletide beats Ho, pa rum pum pum pum pummin  Ho, these gifts I am giftin Ho, Rudolph’s nose is glowin Ho, I be giftin’ soda streams-ees Ho, Don’t need no gift reciept-ees Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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4 years ago
4 minutes

Kreezus
Hold My Eggnog
Kreezus was produced by Local Business Comedy.  Hold My Eggnog written by Stephen Perlstein.  Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries.  Vocals by Carl Tart, James Ross, Nick Gligor. [Intro: Justin Vernon] I can hold my Egg Nog But these elves can’t decorate trees  Fat and Jolly now On the north pole, headin south I'm on to Indiana I heard it's christmas now [Hook: Chief Keef] I can't handle no egg nog But these elves can’t decorate trees I can't control my reindeers And my reindeers they can't control me  You say you know me, my reindeer But you really just know Frosty [Verse 1: Kanye West] Kids I'm out my food coma Drinkin’ nog (or milk) on your sofa  When I pull my sleigh over Slightly scratch ya new Solar (Panel)  Okay, I smashed ya new Solar (Panel)  Shoulda bought a snow blower  Thousand years I been chauffeur  Gifts is why I came over One more milk and I can own ya One more keebler I can own ya One cold night in December  Knapsack got me floating Feel like Meisterburger Krampus had me dead Might call Rudolph over Kreezy’s still on your sofa We the bad North Polers Still ain't learn to be Santas You hate me when it’s October I hate the soot in your smoker  Eating all a ya donut Then elf Hermey came over Pointy ears with no shoulders Tell me that these gifts bogus Elf you don't even know us  Hermey, he's a poser  Hermey, he's a poser  Dentist is his Persona  X-rays all in his folder Elfs think he just bogus Ho ho hos became ho-less  When it's cold it's colder And kid, I'm out my food coma [Bridge: Justin Vernon]  Crawling up your fire’s place  Gifts all over the place All I got was coal Hoooo I wanna go home [Hook: Chief Keef] I can't handle no egg nog But these elves can’t decorate trees I can't control my reindeers And my reindeers they can't control me  You say you know me, my reindeer  But you really just know Frosty [Outro: Justin Vernon and Kanye West] I heard you need a new ipad (a new gift) I heard you need a new pack (a new gift) I heard you need a new phone (a new gift) I know your present ain't be home (a new gift) [Bridge] Crawling up your fire’s place Gifts all over the place All I got was coal Hoooo I wanna go home Download link: https://soundcloud.com/local-business-comedy/sets/kreezus Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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4 years ago
5 minutes

Kreezus
New Sleighs
Kreezus was produced by Local Business Comedy.  New Sleighs written by Stephen Perlstein. Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries.  Vocals by Carl Tart, James Ross, Nick Gligor, Stephen Perlstein Download here: http://www.4shared.com/zip/Q8z7rR1Lba/Kreezus.html [Verse 1] Ms. Claus was raised in the era when Clean snow was only rode by Jack Skellington Riding snow you would have thought I had help But they wasn't satisfied unless I shoveled snow myself  You see it's broke toboggan racin’ That's that "Don't touch any of the snow" And it's rich toboggan racin’ That's that "Come in, please buy more" "What you want, new blades? Fur trim? A diamond rein? All you sleds want all the same things" Used to only be trash lids, now everybody sleigh’n  Spending everything on Skii Doo Thangs New Sleighs [Bridge] You see there's wood ones and there's saucers  But I'd rather be a blade than a shoveler You see there's wood ones and there's saucers  But I'd rather be a blade than a shoveler [Verse 2] I throw these Ski Doo keys I ride my blade on the sleet I know that we the new Sleighs  I see the lights on the trees I see the lights on the trees I see the lights on the trees I know that we the new Sleighs  I see the lights on the trees  They throwing snow at me  Want me to stay and ski Fuck you and your corporation  Y'all sleddas can't control me I know that we the new sleighs  I know that we the new sleighs  I'm 'bout to ride the fuck out  I'm going Nicholas, Saint I know that tinsel ain't free You sleddas tinsel, ain't me  Y'all throwing coupons at me  You know that sleddas can't read  Throw 'em some ski doo keys Fuck it, christmas tree I know that we the new sleighs Y'all sledda can't fuck with me Y'all sleddas can't fuck with Kring Y'all sleddas can't fuck with Kring I'll move my family out to Oslo So you can't see where I ring So go and grab the snowmen So I can smash and throw them See they'll confuse us with some scrooges  Like the Ancient Roman Meanwhile the DMV Teamed up with the SKI-M-V They tryna lock sleddas up They tryna make new sleighs See that's that privately owned mountain  Get your snow today They prolly all in the Hamptons Braggin' 'bout what they made Sled you and your Hampton house I'll Sled your Hampton spouse Sled on her Hampton blouse Snow in her Hampton mouth Y'all 'bout to throw snow up I'm 'bout to ride snow down I'm 'bout to melt snow down Now what the fuck they gon' ski now? [Outro: Kanye West & Frank Ocean] I won't end this ride, not this time again So long, so long, so long, you cannot come ride  And I'm not riding, and I came loose I came loose, yeah, I came loose Cause I can't leave it to you So let's get to ride, get to ride again (To ride again, to ride) hoo hoo ho hooooooo [Kóbor János] Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen  But do you recall.. The most famous reindeer of them all? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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4 years ago
4 minutes

Kreezus
I Am a Claus
Kreezus written and produced by Local Business Comedy: Joey Clift, Nick Gligor, Stephen Perlstein and Dumbshit Mountain Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries.  Vocals by Carl Tart, James Ross [Beanie man]  (Silent night riff...) [Intro]  I am a Claus  I am a Claus  I am a Claus   [Hook] I am a Claus  Hurry up with my damn rudolph Hurry up with them trains & dolls  Get the Sleigh out the damn garage I am a Claus Even though I'm a Santa Claus Your wish list in the hands of Claus  So y'all better quit writin’ to Claus [Verse 1] Naughty or nice is so unlike you Kissin' santa's ass is so unlike you The only santa that’s not a white dude So here's a few hating-ass children who'll fight you If you were milk n cookies I wouldbite you And I don't even wanna hear 'bout what children might do  Old parents mentally still in high school Since the white beard they never liked you Red-ass jacket with a fucking knapsack But everybody know you brought real gifts back Gifts was unwrapped, man, we the Wrap Pack Dasher Dancer Donner Sleighback Rudolph Reinder, Red Nose shining Monop' in this bitch again, Milton Bradley Skip this house these kids be bratty Until the day day stop calling me fatty [Hook] I am a Claus  So hurry up with my damn rudolph In a family-ass residaunce Hurry up with my damn egg nog! I am a Claus  I am a Claus  I am a Claus  HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! [Verse 2] I just talked to Jesus He said, "What up, Kreezus?"  I said, "Climbing buildins, trying to gift these childrin"  I know elves bout yay high  Reindeer make dat sleigh fly  Su casa, mi casa I drink milk the mosta - HO! I am a Claus  I am a Claus  I am a Claus HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! [Outro: Justin Vernon] Ain't no way I'm coming to town. I'm a Claus Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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4 years ago
4 minutes

Kreezus
Red Hat Head
Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) was produced by Local Business Comedy. Written by Joey Clift.  Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries.  Vocals by Carl Tart (Kanye West) Download here: http://www.4shared.com/zip/Q8z7rR1Lba... [Verse 1] For my theme song My red n fur jeans on My tinsel so green on Children are gettin’ their dreams on I’ve got the wisdom My naughty list so long They see a fat man with a white beard riding a sleigh with bells that go ding dong  Middle America’s presents Are most of my big bag’s content Flying my sleigh it’s an event Fly this bitch on Christmas Evenin’ Passing out coal to the catholics Filling up stockings of Baptists Claiming I'm over-regifting To the bad kids on my bad list [Hook] Billions of gifts, That I’ll lift In my red vest, I’m so swift 24 hours, a long shift 24 BluRay: 's a hot gift Rudolph we living in the moment  Your nose glowing, red I know it  I’m real excited cause it’s snowin’ Ho ho hoin'! Ho ho hoin'! [Bridge] So leave out the cookies I’ll chug all that milk (down)  Keep being nice I’ll give you a present (now) build a gingerbread house (now) stay quiet as a mouse (down) If all you want is some coal in your fist I’ll keep your name on my naughty list [Hook] Billions of gifts, That I’ll lift In my red vest, I’m so swift 24 hours, a long shift 24 BluRay: 's a hot gift Rudolph we living in the moment Your nose glowing, red I know it  I’m real excited cause it’s snowin’ Ho ho hoin'! Ho ho hoin'! [Verse 2] Reindeer are some cool shit Four legs and some hooves shit  Fuck all that mule shit Just celebrating some yule shit I’m aware I’m kringle Wrapping your presents I’m aware I’m a Klaus From the north pole, bitch Got lots of coal, bitch Reindeer are some cool shit Flying like a balloon shit Flying like a balloon shit Come on rudolph eatchya corn  Sooner or later you’re air born  These reindeer delivering presents deliver, deliver your presents [Hook] Billions of gifts, That I’ll lift In my red vest, I’m so swift 24 hours, a long shift 24 BluRay: 's a hot gift Rudolph we living in the moment  Your nose glowing, red I know it  I’m real excited cause it’s snowin’ Ho ho hoin'!  Ho ho hoin'! [Bridge] So leave out the cookies I’ll chug all that milk (down)  Keep being nice I’ll give you a present (now) build a gingerbread house (now) stay quiet as a mouse (down) If all you want is some coal in your fist I’ll keep your name on my naughty list [Outro] Claus! Claus! Claus! Claus! Claus! Claus! Claus! Claus! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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4 years ago
3 minutes

Kreezus
Long Night
Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) written and produced by Local Business Comedy.  Long Night written by Nick Gligor.  Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries.  Vocals by Carl Tart. Available for free download at Christmas.BoardwalkAudio.com Fuck man, it’s Christmas again [Verse 1] Christmas season approaching Fuck the toys that y'all been wantin' Fuck the, fuck the toys y'all been huntin' A Santa be up all night again Soon as I pull up and park the gifts We get this bitch crippled like Tiny Tim Take my knapsack and pack it in White hair, boots, tobogga-sins It's too many kids in this house of ten Real Kringle back in ya house again Red dude all in your chimney then Red suit all on your couch again And I know kids like presents, man They got more damn gifts in their stockings man, huh [Hook] Long night, long night [Bridge] How many gifts am I droppin off? Let me say I lost count; I don’t give a fuck How many gifts am I droppin off? Let me say I lost count; I don’t give a fuck [Interlude] He'll give us what we need It may not be what we want [Verse 2] Baby girl tryna get a tree And her girl tryna get a tree Chopped 'em both down Don't grudge 'em, Chuck Brown! One last deposit No piss breaks, Keep movin', Comet! Everybody wanna live at the top of the North Pole Took her to the Shop, she tried to gift my butt hole That's when Hermey the Elf kicked her out But he got her back in and put a drill in her mooooouuuuth Long night, long night Ho, ho Sleep now, I need sleep now I need, I need Sleep now Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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4 years ago
4 minutes

Kreezus
What if Kanye West thought he was Santa Claus, and rapped about it - set to the tracks of Yeezus