I am the newest update of human evolution. It's similar to when a tech company pulls all stops on an expensive af research/high af priced product. It's expensive af and has so much tech squeezed in it that most people like, "WTF Why??? Who gonna spend all that money on that mess??" But they don’t realize that it was made more as a proof of concept that what they plan to do can be done, and then it will be further optimized and reiterated for cheaper consumer-level products. Think that cringe af apple PC or the Apple monitor. You can even add the ChatGPT 4.5 or the Apple Vision Pro. Thats me. I am the first. It confuses the average person. They don’t realize the future is coming and I was the tip of the spear.
I think the moral of this story is that people should stop trying to impress people they never wanted to like in the first place. Like it might sound harsh how I was talking about trans, but I wasn’t saying it in a transphobic manner. I simply believe that it’s foolish to put so much of your inner toil trying to convince someone you already know is lost to accept you. You don't need them to accept you. Focus your energy on the people around you who do like you for who you are. And if there are no people around you who do, it might be time to consider making a big shift, and moving somewhere that you think you'll be more comfortable being yourself in. It might be hard, but wouldn’t that be a better risk to take and a better last-ditch effort to do before considering killing yourself or doing something demonic like a mass murder? I for one think it is.
IDK, help disprove this if you can. And don't do some "Jesus is Lord hakunamutata muhana means family all god is one so alien god is our god."No, no, that bs wont work because that’s the most lazy af "proof" that literally has no logical interference with anything. But let’s humor it for a second. If that were true, then all our gods on Earth are all one god. If that’s true, then why do so many gods from different cultures have strikingly completely different personalities and belief sets and rules. Wouldnt make sense for the "one god" to be skitzo af. So try a bit harder with the disproving of my disproving.
Yeah, Hampton Road sucks. No wonder every celeb from here got out of there quick af. Every single one. And every single one blew up in a DIFFERENT city. They never blow up in Hampton Roads. They move to another city and then start getting more attention and such.Its a trash af wasteland of nothing. Like at least in small towns, there’s like a humble, comfy vibe to it. Maybe some pretty sights to see, maybe the empty quietness...here…nope, just a bunch of suburbs and highways....and that’s about it. Maybe one cool spot in Norfolk’s marina area and the beach. Wowza! Multi-million-populated city area, btw. Literally, the entire economy and movement of new residents here is fully dictated by the naval shipyard, and that’s it. That’s quite literally the ONLY reason people come here. And our only tourism is people from up north (Virginia) coming down to the beach every so often during the summer. Wow!! Such a great area!!!
Yeah, things are just starting to make sense lately. Like not in a "wow he is so wise and smart" but in a... wow he is nihilistic and depressive af. Like nothing seems to matter or have reason. Like I know I’m in a current slump and of course I will have these types of thoughts, but it’s hard to not see it as just that. Like friends and family are revealing that people are only close when they are happy or when they are gaining something from you. Not all the time it’s a bad thing but people aren’t usually just nice for nice sake. Some are, but most aren’t.I can even argue even D'Ante', the reason we are still cool is because we are both in a similar situation. If that fine balance was different during this period, I probably would've dropped him too.Say a loving marriage, a lot of the time I'd argue that if the husband/wife was in a slump, lost job, or aged poorly, was less "fun" than before even though same personality, etc., then a divorce would be soon to come if the other person wasn't sticking around only because they couldn’t find anyone else.The government revealed it never gave af about its people and this whole constitution blah blah experiement bs was all just a sham to get people to ignore the numerous and obvious bads and be hypnotized into blind faith in the system. The world caters to the rich and the lowly lower middle to low class are only there to be machines. That’s why when AI started showing its head of usefulness with LLMs, the CEOs and business people were so quick to screw over entry workers. Like this world is a mess. If there is a god, the god sucks at what it does ngl. Literally threw garbage at the wall, it sorta stuck but is drooping down leaving stinky grease stains, and it went "eh I’m tired that’s good enough".I could do a better job ngl.
So this day they put me on the trucks....little did I know 1 truck is quite literally playing on easy mode.... It was just the tutorial.... Just a little test to make sure the controller was working correctly...The next day was a difficulty spike akin to Dark Souls...
I basically already made this podcast a while back, but nothing wrong with repeating topics if there’s been a long gap between. And also this time it’s with another person listening, so idk gives a different vibe.
It’s crazy how in 4 years so many stories and nostalgia can occur. Like when you think about it, high school really isn’t that long, but it makes a harder impact for people than college. Like yeah, you can argue there are people who have crazy college stories, but there’s something about high school that makes people continue to look at it in a more nostalgic way than any other schooling portion in life. More than elementary, middle, or university. Like it’s not a universal feeling of course, but on average, it’s pretty common.In some ways, it’s akin to how I feel about Hong Kong. Technically, I've only been there about 1.9 years, I guess (?), but so many stories and so much of that city I explored in such a short time. I could have stories for at least a 30-hour-long podcast, and it was such a short period of time... just interesting how time works.
Another friendship ended. Preventable, but what can you do? Some people just don't deserve to be in my life, I guess. It’s crazy to me; all it takes is one thing, and a long-standing friendship can end in a blip. It's probably for the better, though... toxic friendships can rot your life slowly. Ironically, if I never met this person, I’d probably still be in Hong Kong right now with a progressing career. It’s wild how certain people can lead you astray subtly without you even realizing. Like the blame is on me for that part, but it’s still wild how it most likely never would have happened if not for these certain people coming and going out of your life. But then again, that can be said for many things. Even, say, the reason I had an interest in China could be argued due to people coming and going in life. So there’s a duality in that, I guess.
What’s it like downgrading your potential to work at a modern-day American sweat shop... slave labor which not only is humiliating to admit you do, but is unironically the only option you had...What is it like knowing that the setting sun of America hit right when you are in your most vulnerable time... and during this vulnerable time all friends and family around you revealed they didn't actually have any empathy at all and see you as a loser failure who surely just doesn’t want to work and isn’t trying hard enough....Whats it like? Well imagine this. Imagine being in a glass dome. You know there’s more to outside your glass dome and you know you can break the glass if you had the right tools but you don't have them. You could crash through the glass dome head first but you know the shards of broken glass can and will slit your body open if you do (which will surely kill you if you don’t receive medical attention; attention you know you won’t receive since no one is letting you out the dome in the first place.).So all you can do is dig down. Dig down and hope at some point the dome walls stop. Remember, you can’t destroy the walls or the glass dome collapses and all the glass shards fall onto you (even if you dig down there’s still open sky. And if you cover yourself with dirt...well now you have 5 tons of broken glass you are trapped under. So your only hope is to hope the walls stop at some level down underground or you hit the "floor" of the dome and can break the floor since it’s not the walls so the dome won’t collapse.....But you have no tools so you dig with hands. It hurts but what else can you do. And you see your daily visitors laugh or call you stupid for digging. They have no clue why you dig and not just crash through the walls. "He obviously doesn’t want to escape."
Family...Nation...Faith....All have tumbled. I'm fully disillusioned from this world and I wonder what the point of anything. What the point of loyalty. You really know who are the people worthy of keeping around during times like this. People love to be around you if you are doing well, but if you are in a struggle, suddenly everyone is rude, harsh, and impatient with you.
Everything is fake. There's literally no point caring. Like seriously, its all a big bait. The only thing you should care about at this point is not being sent to prison. Beyond that, everything is free game and the rules dont exist. Those same people who seem to care or orbit around you would sell you to the rive the second the fire got hot.
If there was one thing I learned from this experience is that I should only care about myself. Don't fear god, don't fear shame, don't fear anything.
I truly wonder how life would be if I were born just a year earlier or later. Literally one year makes such a difference, and it’s sad. Or I guess if I graduated college a year earlier or a year later. I would have either just barely missed the COVID pandemic by graduating in 2019 or I would've graduated during the 2021 job burst. But no, I graduated in 2020, so I went into the workforce at the literal worst possible time. Everything rippled from that moment. And I still have yet to recover.And now, me with no experience not only has to compete with outsourced workers and H1B's, but I also have to compete with AI. It might be hard for fresh graduates and people like me to hear, but there is literally no point caring anymore. Just embrace the new technology. Don't get baited by people who already made it to not use AI for code. You are literally taking a handicap for the free by doing that. Like it or not, but the people who use AI will be the equivalent of the internet tech company bros soon.
This is why I never take the "high ground" argument about suicidal people or people who committed it. This stuff isn’t some easy solution. Like you can still try to, of course, make them less sociopathic, but you have to realize if they quite literally are at the point where they are thinking of breaking that barrier of fear of dying, then you need to know this is not some simple solution type option.
And sometimes, I think you shouldn't feel guilty realizing there’s nothing much you can do. You tried your best. And in some ways, they know you did. I don’t know, it’s a hard topic and subject since hard truths are hard.
However, I must say and make clear, those frekaing filthy pathetic losers who go "well if I’m gonna die, I’mma take others with me" because they’re afraid to do it their own freaking self need to just be deleted and deserve the worst, most fearful execution. Because that’s a whole different level of pathetic. “Muhmuh I’m scared of the infinite death and consequences of ending life so I’m instead going to kill a bunch of people and hope I get suicide by cop in a quick surprise."
No, no, if I had it my way, I’d bring you back tf to life and go Batman on your ah. Show you what true sadism is like. Don't bring other completely disconnected people into your own drama.People lucky this isn't the United Jabari Republics. I'd get that mess knipped in the bud REAL QUICK. There would be two fears in this world: Death, and a selfish attempt at quick death.
No, but seriously, what’s up with the screenwriters of these shows and movies? Like they just can't help themselves. Like wtf are they thinking about every day? And they justify this mess by going "all artists are crazy". No, no, nice try you freaking cringe lords. You are just busted and you, your family, and your parents need to be investigated.Like wtf happened in your early years where you have this level of obsession? I swear every other Rick and Morty episode has something incest adjacent. Like what did your siblings/parents do to you....and futurama writers with Amy...um please get over the yellow fever…it’s unbecoming. Take a year trip to Thailand and get over it please.And you cringers who defend this mess… please consider moving to a third world country or something where your money can go a bit further so you can get your own girlfriend and de-horndog yourself. Like it wouldn’t solve it, but it would be a good first step perhaps. Idk. Gotta do something while I wait for them AI relationships to knip this in the bud.
Its wild how we are being told like these engineers and ceos are geniuses and can rule the whole world and blah blah blah, when this tech isnt even that crazy. Its literally just compute power, and even then, more compute doesnt really make that huge a difference, just guides the model slightly more.
At this point people are just bored and are hoping for a new "next big thing". Crypto is sleep, Metaverse is sleep, and now LLMs is sleep. Hmmm I guess maybe the AR glasses is the next thing we move to.
Surely by doing all these things mutally exclusively we will make a BIG BIG next big thing....yeah....thats what happened with iphone right?
Yeah, at any moment, one person who is motivated enough can completely collapse the entire world after learning just a bit more. Like, legit. If certain governments wanted to, they could collapse a country in the day. It’s just that they know there will be repercussions that negatively affect them...but they could if they wanted to.Now, imagine a destructive genius....who literally doesn’t care about anything anymore.....they could if they wanted to....
Yep, the ultimate red pill. We are forcing ourselves to care about a mess that literally doesn't matter. It never did. We can never actually change anything. The hive mind is a bait. Break out. We are just manipulated to do crowd dynamics for people who already figured out nothing matters. Yep, even the random celeb canceling and controversy. They are chilling. They already made their money. As long as they weren’t sent to prison, they are chilling. And even when sent to prison, a lot of the time they are chillin’. They already made their money and had their fun.Once you realize this...things are simpler and you can focus on crap that actually improves your life. Then afterwards, maybe it will be worth actually caring about random bs that literally doesn’t affect you or anyone you know.
Just a quick little podcast on crap that annoys me about story writers. It seems quite universal how cringe these writers can be when writing stories. Rather it’s movies, books, games, tv shows….doesn’t matter. And this isn’t even half of the stuff that I find troll.I can tell though, if I ever write my book...and I troll myself... I'll never hear the end of it. So more pressure to make a groundbreaking book...
What’s crazy is there are quite literally dozens of more stories from my 2 years in Hong Kong to talk about. It's just hard to talk about them because one, sometimes paranoid, the people I talk about might end up listening years later and get embarrassed. Or two, I say something and then Hong Kong, like, bruh...we hate Jabari now. But ever so often I'll slip out some (not in full detail) stories, I guess. The full detail of the story I refuse to give.... but just know... it’s crazier than you even expect.
Yep, it’s a major cope, but I don't give af. As long as they are famous or multi-millionaire type salary or more, I can comfortably say I do not feel threatened. That means they are normal citizens just like me. They have no hard impact on the state of the world with their world or actions. So no envy from me. That’s just how it is. Who gives af they have a random cattle citizen but with a slightly higher digit on salary? They are still in the same barn kiddoe.