For all of us it is a different one.
That most feared, unwanted, gut-wrenching emotion. 
To be clear - there is a huge variety of feelings that no one would consider pleasurable. And most of us would rather not feel any of them.
 I even like to think that its a 50/50 cake: and half of our human experience is constituted by countless shades of "uncomfortable".
 
But there is this ONE feeling that you try to avoid at ALL COST! 
Most of the time we are not even aware of our utter disgust of that particular emotion coz our unconscious mind makes a huge effort to push its mere existence to the edge of perceptibility!That could be anything from boredom, to loneliness, to anger or anxiety…
For me it is disappointment actually. 
And in this weeks episode I will let you in on all the tricky methods our brains apply so we never EVER have to it! 
And that is exactly how our most unwanted feeling is in fact, indirectly running the show. 
 For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE. 


I am sure you have also already hit your head at one of the million metaphorical, flashing billboards that yell at you how important it is to carve out YOUR space, corner or niche as an entrepreneur or freelancer. Endless claims are made about what is the best way to set yourself apart from the masses. In this weeks episode I wanna real-talk to you though about how leaning into your uniqueness (which you already effortlessly possess) is the very thing your reptile brain is trying to avoid at all costs. For the simple reason that standing even for good, equals separation from the tribe, which goes completely against our survival instincts! So, ja. No matter how yummy doing your thing can potentially be…it’s very likely gonna feel awful too.  Now - one could say that I am one of those billboard yelling people myself since all I am doing is supporting people become MORE of their bizarre, wonderful, quirky, magical self. No worries - I have not changed sides. (Although I hope I am not yelling :D)I just wanna bring attention to the fact that ticking that Unique Selling Point box will bring up TENSION and tons of cognitive dissonance.And that is ok… but after listening to this episode I just don’t want you to think that something is wrong with you for not being absolutely delighted about walking a walk that seems to be different from everybody else’s.  I will also point out particular ways in which that tension might show up, so you can spot it and apply the tools I will teach you to work your way THROUGH the discomfort! Because you can’t shame yourself into free expression! So let’s be unique anyways.  For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

Whenever you got a lot on your plate - a very normal reaction would be to increase SPEED when trying to shove the stuff off your table. I mean - you are stressed because there are too many things, right?So, it’s just basic math that DOING MORE will get you faster to the end of that seemingly unsurmountable list. Which would finally cause that much needed relief to kick in. And - YES. If you were a machine without a nervous system, instincts and deeply wired survival mechanisms: basic math would totally do it.Luckily there is so much more yummy complexity and meandering story-telling involved when it comes to the human condition and the fabulous ways how our mind and body work together. In this week´s episode I will talk about the nervous system and in particular the state of fight or flight to explain why DOING more to escape a perceived emotional threat will usually just produce MORE of the shit you already got and not actually get you an inch closer to the sweet spot on the other side you so frantically try to get to. We will dive deep into how our feelings are the embodiment of the stories we weave and the thoughts we have about what’s going on and how we can use actively and purposefully BEING what we want to achieve in order to move the needle instead of trying to ACT our way out of the unwanted state.Coz you can’t outrun them feelings - you heard that right. If this sounds abstract - it’s really not.Listen on. It’s not rocket science - rather a love declaration to process, to physical sensations, to feeling safe around one another and in one’s own body. If you want to go deeper into Polyvagal-Theory - these are your people:Deb Dana: www.rhythmofregulation.com   Stephen Porges: www.stephenporges.com For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.      

You know that you have entered the incredibly vast, intricate and devious realm of psychological games when PLAYING is anything else but FUN. We all have been there. That moment when you realize that you have been sucked into someone else’s malicious plot. You feel tricked, betrayed… and stuck AF. Coz no matter in which direction you might move - someone will get hurt, something will break. You have been set up to FAIL. According to Eric Berne, founder of Transactional Analysis, we play games in order to get a core need of ours met. Games enter the arena when just SAYING what you want seems to be off the menu and we are convinced our desires can only be fulfilled through INDIRECT manipulation. And, yes - you guessed it. Those (clearly subconscious) behavioral patterns are one of those ghosts haunting us from our early days on the planet.  In this weeks episode I will thus use the perspective of Transactional Analysis to talk you through what PSYCHOLOGICAL GAMES are, what makes them so painful for everybody involved, why we play them in the first place and most importantly - HOW TO GET OUT of such dynamics!! Get your needs met baby. Stop the games!    For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE. 

Encountering a … PROBLEM - involuntarily sets off the urge to get rid of it. ASAP.We want to have it solved - NOW.Not actually because the problem is a problem - but because we usually feel a tremendous amount of tension when considering something an ISSUE. Their existence inflicts pain - and our reptile brain wants to get out at any cost. Thanks to this perceived threat our brain is lightning-fast in judging whether we have a square or round shaped problem and will try to find a fitting peg from our archive of proven solutions - to get the job DONE. YES - Our brains are problem solving miracles… And this saves a tremendous amount of time! HOWEVER, this strategy does not work when a problem is NEW to you, or society at large. It especially does not work in complex environments, where how A leads to B is not longer obvious. Which is the case more often than not lately, to put it mildly.  In this week’s episode I want to share with you how to FIRST get rid of problems that are not yours to solve - saving you shit ton of time and energy. And SECOND how to apply principles from Agile Innovation Methods to actually withstand the urge to soooollvve the problem and begin with exploring the issue as if it were a fascinating SPACE.  If you have not listened to #27 HOW TO LISTEN, I highly recommend you do that - as this is the base for any meaningful innovation!  For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com   Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

Whenever we take on a bigger project, lead larger teams or move into more complex work-territories it very often puts us in a „everything-is-a-life-threatening-calamity! If I don´t act NOW we will all sink and die“-state.Leading to exhaustion, self-doubt and a lot of bad decisions. Let’s say you are a really good sailor in the Mediterranean Sea and have decide to now embark on a new journey out into the Atlantic Ocean. You will probably struggle at first! Its not the nature of the beast though that is out of control here.The Atlantic just is what it is - a body of water with way wilder and bigger waves than the Mediterranean Sea. You just haven’t gathered the skills and nervous system capacity yet to ride those new amplitudes with as much grandeur as the calmer seas. And it’s the absent of skill / capacity what makes everything seem urgent!  In this episodes I will talk you through how to switch off some of the alarm bells without actually going out there fixing problems. How to discern between urgent and important, how to keep the long term vision in mind and what it means to expect the unexpected.  For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

We all know that there are galaxies between the involuntary perception of those hissing sounds bubbling out of someones mouth in the form of words and actually extracting MEANING from this noise. MEANING that when woven in the service of wanting to understand someone or something deeply can lead you through the labyrinth of chatter to the core of a matter. The underlying cause, drive, motivation, need, desire… And this is crucial if you are leading a team, if you want to connect to a partner or are creating a solution for a real human problem. You don’t wanna act on or solve for WHAT somebody says. But on what actually drives them. You want to get to the underlying need - which might be hidden to the person you are dealing with themself!And for that you gotta learn HOW. TO. LISTEN. DEEPLY. …You need to find that read thread first to release Ariadne.  It has everything to do with from which SPACE and with which MOTIVATION you are listening. Our brain is a powerful filtering machine, that when gone unchecked will discard any bit of information that does not have to do with our own survival…So yes - you can easily hear gazillions of brilliant people speak without ever learning anything NEW (That’s how powerful our mind is).  Listen on to this weeks episode to hear more on how to break the SPELL and on how to find the loose end of, following and weaving MEANING with the red thread.   For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

In this episode I wondered - what if those GO-TO solutions that our brain comes up with when facing a difficult situation are the exact reason for our stuck-ness? The source of what creates MORE OF THE SAME. And Probably more of the current problems as well? The strategies that have served us well, the stories we tell about ourselves (like… I am not disciplined enough) - they totally work sometimes.But they tend to take up lots of space until they seem to be the ONLY solution or way to see yourself.  Or let me put it this way: Whenever you direct your light of attention onto ONE (or even a couple of) thing(s) - ALL THE OTHER things now lie in the shadow!!And the longer you stay with that one focal point - the more sure you can be that there is MUCH ELSE to explore. I will introduce you to a technique I call TUNING to spot those habits and use them as a point of orientation to explore the OPPOSITE! Which is usually a BLIND spot :D Not because it’s better to have less blind spots.. but because it will set you on a journey to acquire more TOOLS and different patterns to use consciously when you see them fitting. So that you won’t try to mend your cloths with a hammer…      For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a FREE mini coaching Sessio HERE.

Remember as a kid when you really wanted some candy before dinner?And your mom would not let you have some because… it does not make sense. And you don’t NEED it.  As grown ups - many of us still relate to our WANTS as if there was a mom telling us off for desiring what we don’t actually NEED.How this is playin out then in our inner emotional landscape is us today looks like spending lots and lots of brain power guilt tripping about WANTING something in the first place and secondly finding seemingly logical (let me tell you they are never logical!) reasons for why we actually really NEED the thing we want so bad.  So wer are squeezing your dreams and wishes into the very very small „I believe I NEED this“ box in the hope that THEN it will feel SAFE to go after what we most DESIRE. But…NEEDING and WANTING /DESIRE have very little in common. The neat Venn diagram we so desperately try to produce in our minds does not exist. Simply because NEEDING something implies a purpose or a goal. I need a match if I want to light a candle. I need a computer to write an email. When it comes to our lives - what do we really NEED?… to survive? A bit of grain and a tent…?If you are reading this email - you most likely got that covered  (which is amazing btw! And something not to take for granted!) There IS REALLY NO OVERLAP with your desires though - and its ok. In this episode I want to clean up those mind-contortions disguised as „voice-of-reason“ and give your full permission to OWN what you WANT. Viel SpaßBussi Mirjam    For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

WISH DAY is a practice I developed for everybody who wants to re-calibrate their relationship with their own DESIRES, WISHES and WANTS by feeling safe around having them in the first place!  WHY? Coz the reality of how most of us think about our desires stems from a deep distrust in our ability to be with them and / or fulfill them in a way that does get us in trouble and sounds something like: „Its a bottom less pit! I am greedy AF! I will never have enough! I am def. not to be trusted with any of it - so lets just not even get started!! This way no one gets hurt!“  Let’s change this! Tune in for all the juicy details on the practice and start wishing away today :DI cannot wait for you to open the floodgates of goodness!  

We keep To Do Lists in the hope that one day we will be DONE. It’s a tool we often religiously use in the hope to finally be on TOP of things not noticing that our list have long taken the seat at the steering wheel ruling US.  In this weeks episode we will explore what your subconscious mind is convinced you will FEEL like once you have completed all your tasks (it is one of our favorite places for escape fantasies! Let me assure you!) instead of RUSHING to this imaginary finish line (which btw… would probably mean you were DEAD!).  And since we are at it - why do we call it TO DO lists??Who cares about people DOING things, being busy? Has this ever really got you somewhere in the first place? And who decided that thing was a thing that NEEEEEDED to be done?   Time to get in charge.  Tune into this weeks episode to tag along as I walk you through many different ways of how to approach da lists and how I use them for MY purposes.   For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

No - this is not a manual on how to be LESS insecure! If this is what I were offering here - I would agree with your story, that insecurity is a problem. And this is where we will begin in this weeks episode:Wiggling a little at that deeply rooted believe that insecurity is UNPROFESSIONAL. If this is you I would love to offer you following questions (for the sake of the wiggling):What is YOUR definition of professionality? How would you love others to show up in the work context? What behaviors would open up a business situation? What would allow for more REAL you to express? Wonderful.  Then comes a plot twist…Coz when we are insecure - we are usually dying for one thing in particular: EXTERNAL VALIDATION!In the form of hoping that other people will take us seriously, will agree with us, love our content etc…Which usually sounds very innocent and like you really CARE FOR THE OTHER.Something like…„I really want them to have a transformative experience during my workshop“  However what is really going on when you are looking for relieve of your insecurity in the reaction of the other:The whole interaction actually becomes about YOU!Yes - you read that correctly. You scan what’s going on in that moment for signs that they ARE taking you seriously, that they in fact DO approve of your content… You are not actually present, as in listening, feeling out the room… for the good of your client. Which would then allow you to really show up with care for who you want to serve (if that is what you want!).  Listen on for more intricate side effects of NOT owning our insecurities!   For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.    

This is an invitation to meander with me and ponder about the non-linearity of timelines (or then… time waves, vortexes and spirals) that the magic act of CREATION holds for us. And - yes I am also talking to YOU, with the so-called non-creative, practical business! (If you need to continuously adapt and change to shifts in the market - you are also CREATING!)  What is mostly talked about is the CONTAINER aspect of projects.How much money, time, how many people when and where… So Important. So necessary. Without cash, time and skill allocated NOTHING is going to happen. However - the kind of project-management side of things is already getting lots of airtime.No wonder - it is so easily accessible with our devices, logical mind and spreadsheet obsession.  But what about the CREATING itself? I mean - without the actual JUICE the stuff around it renders itself obsolete. And the big problem I see is that the creation process is often approached and conducted with the same mindset with which we set up the framework.  NO!!! Please! That literally sucks out the joy and life of what could be a wondrous adventure and f*** it just does not work this way. I mean - you will still squeeze out SOMETHING. But it will have the flavor of the white knuckling it costed you to push it out. It won’t carry your oh so special scent and glimpses of your genius.   In this episode we will talk about how you can OPEN space for co-creating with and learning THROUGH your project, wondering and surprises. How to get messy and endulge in non-linear timelines. For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

„I don´t know!“Such a common placeAnd oh! how I love this phrase - for the mere fact that, depending on how you use it, it can mean a lifetime of agony or the doorway to the most unexpected findings emerging from the unknown.  What makes the difference is the story you tell yourself about YOU, when you don’t know. Do you think you should? It´s definitely not comfortable to lean into the space that we did not know we did not know. But met with curiosity, delicious qualities like clarity, surprises, beauty, novelty… will come inevitably your way.  If you wanna learn more about how to use Not Knowing as a potent doorway to the unexpected and life-altering… tune into this weeks episode.   For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

We love to fantasize. You have been imagining that moment a million times. And its gonna be perfect. That moment - when it will feel RIGHT to get started, or take that next big step. And right meaning … you finally believe you can actually make it.  Ironically - that waiting… for the moment when you are fully sure of yourself and your future success is a guarantee for NOT EVER moving an inch towards it in real life.  And even if your fantasized sureness would start to be very real for just a second - the moment you actually got into the ring, things would get messy. Stuff would happen you did not anticipate.  And your confidence and believe would be CHALLENGED.  SO - kick perfect believe out the window. It’s too fragile and too high-maintenance to bet on it.  Half-assing it is good enough. It gets you moving. And KEEPS you moving.  In this weeks episode we will also speak about 3 BIG, COMMON objections your brain will 1000% offer you once you get started moving towards any achievement.SO - lets get specific and talk about how to pivot back into believing just enough when those really very ordinary brain farts hit the fan.    For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.  

For those of you who want to learn how to coach yourself - the Podcast Miniseries is hereby continued! (Go to: #8 Facts versus story - PART 1#9 Feelings are Wealth - PART 2If you want to start at the beginning - they are building up on each other!)  And also - HELLO New Years Resolution that you set eagerly hoping that the midnight bell will randomly give you that damn WILLPOWER to finally turn your whole life around… which you already broke a week into the new year…. Totally NOT shaming you here!Just using this time of the year to make a point: if it was just a matter of WILLPOWER to do the things we said we would… I guess we would actually be much more like machines and human race would need a different name.Because - NO. You don’t have buttons that just need fixing. You are not broken - because there are NO BUTTONS.  So let´s talk about why we do what we do? Or don’t do what we wanted to?And how that can be applied in your self-coaching.I will say already this much - its all about your FEELINGS.Coz they drive our actions.  LISTEN ON for more!    For any inquires to coach with Mirjam, questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

Business relationships can feel like marriages oftentimes.I mean - you would not be the first one if you spent MORE TIME with your founding partner than with your spouse…. And one thing I hear  A LOT when people consider starting or struggle to continue such a partnership: „I need to be able to trust them.“ Such a lovely, innocent sentence. YES - trust is crucial for any committed relationship. But it has way less to do with THE OTHER person than you think!  Here is another translation of this cute sentence: Please continue to do what you are doing today…. Don’t change, don’t surprise me. Be predictable. ONLEY THEN - can I trust you.  And if we know one thing for sure - people change. People do illogical things. Humans are unpredictable. That’s a fact.  And if you tie your ability to trust somebody to their NOT-CHANGING - you are building this important aspect of a fruitful relationships on a VERY wobbly fundament. Actually - NO fundament at all. Tune in to figure out how to tackle TRUST instead!   For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.    

I am convinced that the obsessive pursuit of success can cast a spell on you that causes you to loose the ability to move your geniousness-muscles and that prohibits access to those yummy parts of your brain where the creative juices are flowing. This usually happens when success seems to be the only alternative to FAILING. And when failing equals DEATH to our nervous system - we are in fact fighting and flighting our way up that steep, steep lather like we were running away from a lion.  And… how long can you run away from a lion?  So - my suggestion is not to NOT CARE about success anymore. Or to miraculously start loving to fail.(Coz how well is that usually working when you tell yourself to just STOP doing something you have been doing or believing for most parts of your life?)And also - achieving and pursuing a goal can be so so FUN.  We just need to talk about the how!Therefore - in this weeks episode on the podcast I am offering ways how to define success YOURSELF. Because - why should you care about succeeding if what you are trying to succeed in you don´t care about???Although this might sound like a big face-palm moment - it’s a huge power move, and profound work to turn the „being-defined-from-the-outside“ into defining yourself!  We will also talk about why it can be fun to turn a desired achievement into measurable numbers and what it does if you view success as a FEELING!  For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.

So - if you are an artist, designer, entrepreneur in the creative sector… chances are REALLY hight, that you think you suck at networking.Like with a capital S.On top of that the mere thought of „SELLING, CONVINCING, ATTENTION-GRABBING“ gives you these gut-wrenching Uaghh-feels. However you are convinced that on the other side of networking lies success, so you MUST be doing it too! Leaving you with this fabulously draining guilt, self-loathing, tension, push-pull - cocktail resulting in > many many missed opportunities & award interactions at best. Sounds familiar?  Now - I am pretty sure though, that you are also that person that can’t stop nerding out about the details of the creation process, the peculiar findings you made during the research phase, the references and associations that make this work so meaningful to you to a genuinely interested friend. You are hungry for feedback and endless discussions with peers about context, process and stages of iteration. You LOVE what you do. You CARE about the impact it has on people. And WANT to connect to other humans through the work.  Well my friend - you actually have ALL IT NEEDS to become excellent at networking!What is tripping you up are only a couple of shitty thoughts - your IDEA of what it takes to network successfully. And this is costing you a ton of amazing connections, inspiring exchanges, so much more visibility and so much more CASH.  Tune into this weeks episode to figure out HOW to become that person who never wants to miss an opportunity to put yourself out there again! In this weeks episode you will learn: Why you actually don’t have to SELL YOURSELF… like EVER Why creating CONNECTION is the number one GO TO, most effective and (almost) only thing you need to do when networking How you getting in your own way is also a big loss for the rest of us That networking MORE does not mean networking with EVERYBODY    For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.  

I will cut right to the chase.There is a way to set boundaries that actually create a stage for MORE CONNECTION rather than a loss of love.And the fear of loosing love is the number one reason why people are not setting them in the first place.Why they say YES when they wanna say NO. The believe that people will love you more when you let them have their way is what gets in the way for so many of us to actually communicate our needs, wishes and limits.  However - as we know by now… actions alone never solve the issue. If it would be as easy as telling you to „JUST say NO when you want to say NO… and stop saying YES when you don’t mean it“… we would not all be here, looking for answers! Without tackling the root cause of those (deeply human) people-pleasing tendencies I see people sway ALLLL the way to the other side. And turn from doormat into barbed-wire-high-security bunker. As long as you still operate from a place of thinking that others create your feelings or that you could manipulate how others feel about you…(In order for YOU again to feel better about yourself. What!? How f** complicated are we making human relating… I know!!)…This whole saying NO and setting boundaries thing is gonna be messy, filled with entitlement, disappointment and hostility.  I am convinced that you actually DON´T have to deem anyone toxic, unhealthy or narcissistic in order to ask for what you need and draw consequences when your actual safety (physical, emotion, spiritual) is endangered. Tune into this weeks episode to learn how to overcome the fear of loosing connection with other in order to set clear boundaries form a loving place without the drama and the parent of high emotional tolls.    In this episode you will learn: How to set a boundary from a clean, loving, no-drama place Why people-pleasing dynamics need to be addressed FIRST What’s the difference between communicating wishes, needs and desires and setting a boundary How boundaries are NOT threats or a way to manipulate others  For any inquires to coach with Mirjam or questions and comments reach out to: mirjam@soegner.com Find me on instagram @school_of_impact Or book a consult HERE.