In this episode, I chat with therapist and coach Anna Holtzman to explore what really happens inside our bodies when we step into the spotlight. Whether you’re sharing your work online, speaking up in a meeting, or launching a creative project, visibility can stir up deep-seated fears and stress responses. Anna shares practical tools to regulate your nervous system, reframe the discomfort of being seen, and cultivate safety as you expand into greater authenticity and expression. Tune into this episode to learn how caring for, not bypassing, your body’s signals can help you show up with more ease, confidence, and self-compassion.
Join Luke as he interviews Lauren on her newly released memoir, Golden Child. Golden Child: My Descent to Scapegoat and Rise to Freedom is a self help memoir that details the collapse of illusory goodness within a family system through the disruption of Christian Nationalism, ultimately leading the token golden child to walk out of her gilded golden cage. Through an arduous journey with grief and wonder, she courageously unravels from fundamentalism and steps into her authentic and free self.Available in ebook, paperback and audiobook on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FKSZFWR9?ref_=pe_93986420_775043100
After taking a break, we're starting up a new season of the podcast focusing on dysfunctional family systems and healing. In this episode, we explore in detail 7 PRESENT-day reasons for going no-contact.
❤️🩹 Parents’ inability to accept the individuated version of their adult-child
❤️🩹 Parents’ refusal to stop upholding rigid roles adult-child have been playing since childhood
❤️🩹 Parents’ chronic lack of healthy attunement
❤️🩹Chronic use of manipulation, gas-lighting, denial, triangulation, guilt-tripping, blame-shifting, projection by the parent/s
❤️🩹Defensive posture vs. a receptive posture of repair
❤️🩹 Parents’ chronic lack of interest in the adult-child’s genuine well-being
❤️🩹Refusal to get help and become a healthier person and in turn a safer parent
Listen in and share with someone who needs this kind of support!
BONUS EPISODE! Luke and I had the privilege of chatting with Jodi Carlton on her podcast, "Your Neurodiverse Relationship".Jodi says: "Together, they open up about their own marriage, healing past trauma, working through attachment styles, and what it really takes to make a #neurodiverserelationship not only work—but thrive. They also share their professional insights into #neuroplasticity, rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), attachment wounds, and how their personal growth journey empowered them to help other couples navigate similar challenges.✅ Navigating ADHD & demand avoidance✅ Anxious + avoidant attachment in marriage✅ Overfunctioning, burnout & masking✅ When to accept… and when to seek change
Check out the rest of the neurodiverse couples interviews Jodi does on YouTube.
@JodiCarlton is a leading world expert in mixed neurotype relationship dynamics and communication. Her personal and direct style of educating and coaching is a favorite with all neurotypes around the globe. Her unique blend of personal and professional experience with neurodiverse relationships positions her to help people with a blame-free mind-set, and a goal of clarity. Check out all her offerings and freebies at her site: https://jodicarlton.com/
Have you ever heard my experience with brain retraining? It’s been a few years since I did an episode about it, and because it’s SUCH valuable information I wanted to talk about it again, and add in my new insights and perspectives from this point in my journey.
In this episode I share:
-an overview of my healing process through brain retraining
-a guide to explore what is behind you dysregulation and chronic symptoms through mining your story, early conditioning, unique vulnerabilities such as neurodivergence, and your present environments and relationships to understand the reasons behind why you became dysregulated in the first place
-the important concept of sustainable nervous system regulation
-brain retraining or trauma healing? which should go first
-finding the important healing balance of grief/trauma work and beauty/goodness seeking
-who I would recommend brain retraining for
-what I recommend if you’re noticing symptoms crop up, but you’re not really unwell yet
-how brain retraining has changed my life and opened me up to possibilities I would not have had without it
Make sure to check season 2, episode 18 if you want to hear more details about brain retraining!
Share this episode with a friend who might benefit!
Join us for the third and final episode in our series on neurodiversity! In this episode we interview Jodi Carlon, a Neurodiverse Relationship Expert. We had an amazing conversation, evidenced by the number of times Luke and I said “beautifully said” to Jodi!
We cover:🌿how trauma affects the brain🌿the role of safety🌿fleshing out what accommodation really is🌿how to figure out healed and what needs to be accommodated🌿the nature of neurodivergent nervous system and it’s highly likelihood of becoming traumatized🌿expectations, needs vs preferences in relationships🌿how some difficult neurodivergent traits are made more intense by trauma🌿common co-occuring mental health conditions with ND🌿how much neurodivergent people accomodate for neurotypicals🌿masking as a survival response and way to accomodate neurotypical folksWe hope this episode and entire series is an encouraging support on your personal journey, and in your neurodiverse relationships!
Jodi Carlton is a leading world expert in mixed neurotype relationship dynamics and communication. Her personal and direct style of educating and coaching is a favorite with all neurotypes around the globe. Her unique blend of personal and professional experience with neurodiverse relationships positions her to help people with a blame-free mind-set, and a goal of clarity. Check out all her offerings and freebies at her site: https://jodicarlton.com/
We’re back for episode 2 in our series on neurodiversity! This episode is quite personal, as Luke and I detail several of the challenges we experience navigating a neurodiverse relationship.
We are so excited to offer this series to our audience as a route to more deeply understanding a really big aspect of ourselves and our relationships: NEURODIVERSITY. Luke shares a bit of his history recognizing his own neurodivergence, how is shows up in his life, and the windy-road process of accepting it. In this episode we explore RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria), demand avoidance, special interest (+ hyperfocus), stimming, imbalanced energy and catastrophic depletion. We also talk through what characteristics are representative of innate neurodivergence, vs a neurodivergent person experiencing trauma symptoms (very common!) We hope this introductory episode is thought-provoking and supportive for neurodiversity novices and beyond. Let us know your thoughts!
In this episode, we tackle the hard-to-talk-about realities of harm in relationships (i.e. betrayal, addiction, abuse...) and the necessary imbalance needed for repair of such relationships. What does it take to create trust and safety after it's been lost? What does the timeline for recovery of connection look like? How much will genuine repair cost you? You won't want to miss this conversation if you have a difficult partnership and you're not sure what healing and relational repair should look like.
We're confident this episode will be valuable to so many as we see this relational dynamic all the time. Listen in as we explore factors behind under and over-functioning such as societal conditioning, religious teachings, family roles and neurodivergence. We share some key things that have been monumental in us unraveling from this imbalanced dynamic, and insight on how to move forward if you find this pattern to be true of your intimate relationship.
Join us for this episode as Flourish Therapy practitioner Bethany Randolph walks us through how the way we address our triggers and young parts can actually be keeping us stuck. Bethany guides Lauren through an impromptu therapy session, gently showing how to allow the wounded parts of us EXPERIENCE our strong and compassion Self. It's a powerful practice that can open you up to new neural pathways of healing and transformation.
We so enjoyed this guest interview with Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free. We quickly connected and had such an engaging conversation about her new memoir where she shares about her exit from her marriage, her church and the toxic theology and shame that had trapped her for so long. She found a lot of help with her healing process through IFS, and actually writes part of her book from the perspective of her different parts. It is such a brave and brilliant move! If you or someone you love is questioning the health of your marriage, family of origin or community of faith, this episode is for you.
Find Natalie at https://www.flyingfreenow.com/
Natalie Hoffman is the author of Is it Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse and All the Scary Little Gods: a Memoir as well as the host of the Flying Free podcast. She is a mother, grandmother, educator, and passionate advocate for Christian women in abusive homes and churches. Natalie empowers Christian women to discover and use their God-given voices, gifts, and freedom to make their own adult choices for their spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being.
We all want more regulated nervous systems, but HOW do we get from information and knowledge about the nervous system, to actually experiencing a wider window of tolerance and deeper regulation capacity?
💭🎙🧠 In this episode we offer you 11 effective ways to cultivate a more regulated nervous system over time, and help you recover from the effects of trauma and chronic stress. Most of them are very accessible to most people, and guess what--none of them are therapy (although, of course that is often a very helpful support in developing a more regulated nervous system). We hope this is helpful to you! What would you add? Which have helped you?
Join us as we explore what we propose could possibly be the root behind misogyny.
Jessica Willis Fisher was the oldest daughter in a high-control family system, that just so happened to also be famous (TLC, AGT...ect) Behind the gorgeous smiles and stunning talent of this 14 person family- fear, control and every kind of abuse reigned.
When Jessica became able to really face the horrors of what was happening to her, and her family members, she was faced with a seemingly impossible decision. Her memoir captures the immense struggle of her story with striking heart and clarity. We had the honor of interviewing Jessica and hearing from her personally about:
-the nature of the effects of abuse on victims
-the role of responsibility in getting free and staying free
-reframing how we understand committed relationships like marriage
-how everyone plays a part in abuse prevention, awareness and support
-Jessica gives a sneak peak into what she is working on next by way of writing
-and more!
Jessica shares so authentically and powerfully, this episode is a new favorite of ours! Find Jessica on IG @jessicawillisfisher and her website https://jessicawillisfisher.com/
So much of our lives involve managing life in the aftermath of other peoples choices. This is particularly true when it comes to your childhood.
Join us as we chat with a therapy Hannah Brents about the repercussions, challenges and heartaches surrounding pasts that were chosen for you.
You can also watch this chat on YouTube!
🎙🌿Luke + Lauren
Follow us on IG!
Hannah Brents is a therapist with a private practice in Massachusetts. She has a background in religious studies, yoga, and meditation. She is launching a course on Making Peace With Your Religious Past that will be available at the end of the summer.
Here are Hannah's links:
Sign up for for her monthly newsletter:
Waitlist for upcoming course-
So many of you enjoy our content on IFS, and we’re glad to share another podcast episode with you about how our bodily symptoms can be coming from specific parts of our internal world.
We interviewed Katie LaCelle from @cressanallc, and looked at IFS (parts work) through a somatic lens.
-quick overview of the Self, exiles, protectors
-how to tell if you are “in Self”
-how hard it is to stay embodied in a body that is suffering
-what a somatic protector and how it might try to protect you
-polarized parts and the tension they create internally
-how protectors may feel about their burdened roles
-an important goal of healing
If you’ve found IFS to be a powerful healing paradigm for you, or if you are intrigued by it, be sure to check out this episode- and share it with other IFS friends!
If you'd prefer, you can watch this conversation on YouTube!
Katie LaCelle is a lifelong seeker and recovering corporate executive who loves helping women thrive personally & professionally while prioritizing self-compassion and presence. She's passionate about mental health and trained in IFS, a trauma-informed therapy modality. She has a bachelors degree in chemical engineering and a masters in organizational leadership and deeply enjoys integrating all of her knowledge to meet and support people where they're at. In her spare time, she coaches and performs on the flying trapeze. Learn more about Katie and the work she does over at:
Connect with and say hello to Katie at:
We promised we would do some teaching on the mixed states of the nervous system- so here is an entire episode on it! 🌿we review the 3 primary states of the nervous system🌿introduce the 3 mixed states (play, stillness and freeze)🌿differentiate between freeze and shut down🌿the goal of nervous system regulation🌿touch on the importance and role of the vagal break🌿explain how to expand your regulation capacity through beauty🌿share how we’ve personally grown to experience the states of play and stillness more in the last few years....and more!
We hope this helps expand your understanding of your nervous system and those around you!
You can also watch this episode in video format on our YouTube channel.