Have you ever given an ultimatum to anyone? And do you think it works? In my opinion, it won't work. Because why do you need to corner someone to agree with you when clearly they are either against it or need sometime to think about a decision they are not ready to commit. However, it's good to give an ultimatum you are clear on what you need and demand from them. If they can't agree to your terms, you can just walk away knowing you set boundaries for yourself and clear of your intention. Be ready for a breakup or the other person walking away because that was your term. You either lose something or gain everything. And that's a risk worth taking when you are in alignment. To me it is simple, if you lose something by speaking your truth, it is not a loss. It is an alignment. Don't forget to follow me on Tiktok : @ninkhalil (Nin), Instagram : @anecdotes_by_nin, Youtube : Nin Khalil (anecdotes by nin).
Difficult conversations. I hate them. Especially if it's one sided and you are not being heard. But we need them in order to find alignment, to better understand each other, to bounce off each other and give ideas to making things better. To know your boundaries with each other. If you've never had any difficult conversations in your relationships, you are not in a relationship. You are in a "situationship" where it's only convenient to them and you've never discussed healthy boundaries.
Having difficult conversations will make you and your partner more assertive in problem solving because marriage is a battle and you need someone you can go to war with. Critical thinking, giving inputs and to understand if this person is a right fit to your long term goal which not only includes your dream goal but marriage goal. A team by your side. So this person has got to be your ride or die even at your worst (which not many people survived). It also gives you the perspective of what you can and will tolerate when it comes to ones bad traits or habits. A bad habit that you will be tolerating long term. And if you can compliment that bad trait of theirs. And if their strength is what you need. It sounds weird but once you have these difficult conversations, you will understand what i mean. It all takes certain skills to maneuver it but with the right partner, it can work. So, have those difficult conversations. And never settle for less.
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On this episode, i will be talking about Self-Love and how we overlook at what it actually means. It doesn't mean just eating healthy, working out, buying material things and pampering yourself. It means working on yourself, attending to your emotional needs. Giving that emotional support to yourself how you would give to your friend. Attending to your unmet needs as a child and most importantly, attending to your creator, Allah The Al-Mighty. Time to detach yourself from the people who neglect you, set healthy boundaries and stop people-pleasing others. This might hit some spot, it definitely hit me. Don't forget to follow me on Youtube : Nin Khalil (Anecdotes By Nin}, Instagram : @anecdotes_by_nin and Tiktok : @ninkhalil (Nina Khalil).
On this episode, i will be talking about my technique when i am feeling triggered. Bare in mind, that it might not work for some people but it does for me, at times. It is to separate how you feel in the moment, and what emotions you pent up in the past, arises when a past trauma is triggered. It is to separate these 2 things. Triggers varies and it is different for some people. It can come in a form of a past memory of someone, a situation, a smell, a song attachment etc, we don't even know what it is. Therefore, this technique is to calm and rationalize your mind to understanding that whatever emotions that arises is triggered from an experienced in your past that you haven't solved or needs to be attended to. This takes courage and compassion towards yourself. So be kind and gentle to yourself during this process. Allow yourself to feel and heal. Don't forget to follow me on Tiktok : Ninkhalil, Instagram : @anecdotes_by_nin and Youtube : Nin Khalil.