There is a lot of empowerment found in making decisions, committing and taking a step forward into that decision. But many of us find ourselves paralyzed in this area. I want to talk to you about the fear of commitment, what’s behind it and how it prevents you from making a decision and moving forward in life. 



Have you ever found yourself stuck, paralyzed by a decision, unsure whether to move forward, turn back, or stay exactly where you are? Is commitment scary? Do you see yourself fixated on chasing after the decision that will be “just right”? Is it possible that in your desire to make a right decision, you have actually become paralyzed by indecisiveness? Then you may be battling a fear of commitment that is holding you back. 



Our fear of commitment is the core problem we’re going to confront today. This fear keeps us stuck, held back from taking essential steps forward in our lives. We’re going to explore why we fear commitment, how we often mask that fear, and ultimately, how we can overcome it to embrace a life of growing faith and decisive action. Let’s dive in.



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Rumble("play", {"video":"v6ygq80","div":"rumble_v6ygq80"});



Confronting Our Fear of Commitment: How to Stop Hesitating and Start Moving Forward



Have you ever found yourself frozen by a decision, unable to move forward because you’re waiting for everything to feel “just right”? You’re not alone. Many of us struggle with a hidden barrier that keeps us stuck: the fear of commitment.



The Paralysis of Chronic Hesitation



I remember standing on a high school basketball court, ball in hand, paralyzed by indecision. Should I shoot? Pass? Dribble? My coach’s words echoed in my mind: “He who hesitates is lost.” That moment captured a pattern that would follow me for years—chronic hesitation that prevented me from taking necessary steps forward.



This paralysis shows up everywhere. In relationships, we struggle to move forward or leave toxic situations. In our careers, we second-guess every decision. I’ve seen it in my own life—panicking over gym memberships, cell phone contracts, and apartment leases. The fear of commitment can masquerade as caution, but it’s actually destructive, keeping us trapped and unable to grow.



Why We Really Fear Commitment



Our fear of commitment has layers, like an onion. At the surface, we might lack proper equipping in decision-making. But dig deeper and you’ll find perfectionism—that relentless chase for the “just right” feeling that never quite arrives.



Beneath that lies the fear of making the wrong decision. We catastrophize outcomes, imagining we’ll end up trapped in permanent misery. Christians often add another layer: “What if I miss God’s signal?” We believe perfect decisions will prevent an uncomfortable future.



But here’s the real issue: Fear of commitment isn’t driven by wisdom—it’s driven by fear of failure.

In this week’s Sunday live, we dive deep into critical issues facing Christians today—from childhood trauma and relationship fears to passive husbands, roommate syndrome in marriage, and questions about healing and miracles.



We continue a Bible study on the book of 1 John 5, addressing that Sin is Not Who You Are!



Q&A Topics Covered:



🔹 Childhood Trauma & Fear of Marriage – Breaking free from family dysfunction, complex trauma, and the isolation that keeps us from healthy relationships



🔹 Talking It Out: Processing Pain Productively – How to talk out your story without getting stuck in victim thinking, learned helplessness, or endless regurgitation.



🔹 The Roommate Syndrome Epidemic – Addressing spiritual passivity in husbands, lack of leadership at home, and how to revive a lukewarm marriage.



🔹 Physical Healing & Miracles – An honest look at faith, doubt, Word of Faith teachings, cessationism, and the mystery of God’s healing power



🔹 Financial Provision Roles – Biblical perspective on who should be the provider, gender roles, and navigating modern economic realities with grace



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Rumble("play", {"video":"v6yanje","div":"rumble_v6yanje"});



Recommended Resources:




* START HERE PAGE



* The Myth of the Perfect One



* ROCD Resource Page



* The OCD Healing Journey



* Join The Healing and Freedom Community




To support future broadcasts: 




* Consider a one-time donation.



* Become a monthly supporter.



* Join a free month of Audible Audio Books and get 1 Free Book!

Today I want to get into the subject of self-discernment, specifically the ability to discern what’s going on in your heart and what you need for healing, especially when it comes to healing from trauma. It involves addressing how you see yourself, and I pray that what I share here will help you see yourself the way God sees you. 



When it comes to healing from trauma or working through any mental health battle, how you see God and how you see yourself is incredibly important. Today I want to get into your lens and ask, “How do you see yourself? Is it really based on how God sees you? Or has something interfered with your lens that is keeping you trapped in unfruitful cycles?” Today I want to help empower the lens that influences how you see yourself, what you have been through the healing that is available.



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Rumble("play", {"video":"v6y60ow","div":"rumble_v6y60ow"});



Self-Discernment for Trauma Healing



When you’re struggling—whether it’s anxiety that won’t let go, old wounds that keep surfacing, or relationships that feel impossibly hard—your first instinct is to figure out what’s wrong. But here’s what most of us miss: the lens we use to examine ourselves determines whether we’ll find healing or stay trapped in cycles of pain.



There are two fundamentally different ways to look at our struggles. One keeps us stuck, exhausted, and convinced we’re beyond help. The other opens the door to actual transformation.



Two Lenses for Self-Examination



When we’re struggling mentally, emotionally, or relationally, we naturally try to understand what’s happening within us. But everything hinges on which lens we’re using.



1. Shame-Based Examination



Shame-based examination is rooted in law and condemnation. It operates through three devastating D’s:




* Disqualifies – tells you you’re unlovable



* Dismisses – pushes you and what you went through away



* Disconnects – promotes separation from God, yourself, and others




Here’s what this lens produces:




* Defaults to judgment without mercy



* Inflames a hostile relationship with yourself



* Prioritizes flaws and failures



* Leads to panic reactions instead of sober thinking



* Makes you vulnerable to quick fixes



* Creates constant, unproductive introspection



* Drives performance-based striving with little healing



* Keeps you repeating the same cycles




Here’s the trap: When we try to discern our trauma-related pain through shame, we create a second layer of wounding. Layer One is our struggle. Layer Two is shaming ourselves about our struggle. Now you have TWO battles over ONE thing.



2. Compassionate Grace-Based Discernment

I tackle one of the most challenging and anxiety-inducing passages in Scripture, the sin leading to death in 1 John 5:16-17. This is NOT a passage meant to send you unnessary condemning spiraling—it’s meant to equip you with discernment and sobriety for the spiritual battles we face. In this deep dive, I bring out eight different perspectives about what the sin unto death may be and how we can process these insights in a healthy way.



I also address someone’s question who came from a legalistic and abusive church environment and is working through the grieving process, while also seeking to overcome OCD and scrupulosity struggles. I address a young man who is compulsively rehashing his childhood with his parents.



I bring out how we can apply the subject of boldness as Christians, tying it into how to practice confidence. I address an 83 year old woman who has struggled for decades with feeling that she is not God’s child.



NOTE: this episode was abruptly cut off due to internet issues, so you will notice the broadcast cut off suddently.



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!function(r,u,m,b,l,e){r._Rumble=b,r[b]||(r[b]=function(){(r[b]._=r[b]._||[]).push(arguments);if(r[b]._.length==1){l=u.createElement(m),e=u.getElementsByTagName(m)[0],l.async=1,l.src="https://rumble.com/embedJS/ui1n23"+(arguments[1].video?'.'+arguments[1].video:'')+"/?url="+encodeURIComponent(location.href)+"&args="+encodeURIComponent(JSON.stringify([].slice.apply(arguments))),e.parentNode.insertBefore(l,e)}})}(window, document, "script", "Rumble");



Rumble("play", {"video":"v6xzwq2","div":"rumble_v6xzwq2"});



Recommended Resources:




* START HERE PAGE



* I Will Not Fear



* The OCD Healing Journey



* God Loves Me and I Love Myself!



* Join The Healing and Freedom Community




To support future broadcasts: 




* Consider a one-time donation.



* Become a monthly supporter.



* Join a free month of Audible Audio Books and get 1 Free Book!

When it comes to trauma healing, we often search for special techniques or magic solutions, but we overlook one of the most fundamental and powerful healing experiences available: the simple act of having an fruitful, loving and effective conversation. In this episode, I dive into why “talking it out” is so essential for mental, emotional, and relationship health—and especially for trauma healing. This isn’t just about venting or casual conversation. It’s about learning to process through pain with loving, understanding, and empowering listeners.



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The Life-Changing Power of Talking It Out: Why Conversation Is Essential for Trauma Healing



When we think about healing from trauma, we often search for special techniques or magic solutions. We want the breakthrough tool, the silver bullet that will finally set us free. But in our search for sophisticated methods, we often overlook one of the most fundamental and powerful healing experiences available to us: the simple act of having an effective conversation.



Today, I want to talk about the life-changing experience of processing through traumatic pain by embracing the power of meaningful conversations with loving, understanding, and empowering listeners.



Two Essential Skills We All Need



Talking things out effectively involves two important skills that we all need to develop:




* The ability to talk about what you’re going through effectively – sharing your feelings, emotions, and interpretations



* The ability to listen effectively and respond in a helpful manner




We were made to do this as human beings. And when both people can talk well and listen well, the experience can become a beautiful “pitch and catch” cycle that brings genuine healing and freedom.



Beyond the Therapist’s Office: The Spectrum of Helpful Conversations



Now, when we talk about trauma healing and “talking it out,” our minds automatically go to a professional setting—a therapist, counselor, or coach. Yes, these professional settings are important and very needed. These are places designed not just to talk about the weather or social media trends, but to get into matters of your thoughts, emotions, and relationships—matters of the heart.



But I want to open up our lens to have an appreciation for all our relationship interactions, both professional and personal, and the day-to-day interactions where God can weave in powerful moments and opportunities for us to be seen and heard.



The Power of Simple Moments



When I look back at my own journey and the moments that were most meaningful, I can reflect on relationship interactions and powerful conversations that had life-changing impact. Some of them were big moments, but sometimes the most simple interactions have been the most meaningful.



I remember moments where somebody simply prayed with me,

Struggle with a lack of confidence in prayer or constant spinning about whether you’re “in God’s will”? This Sunday Live tackles the confidence crisis stealing your prayer life and the obsessive patterns that keep you paralyzed. I teach out of 1 John to dive into the struggle of confidence when it comes to our prayer life, while also addressing “according to His will”– breakign down what God’s will is about and how you can break through the confusion and develop greater confidence.



Here are some areas that I covered in the BIble Study:




* Why confidence—not frequency or eloquence—is your real prayer struggle



* The toxic pattern of trying to “check the God’s will box” before praying



* How to stop obsessing over direction (who to marry, where to live, what job) and focus on what actually matters




I also address three hidden reasons your prayers feel ineffective and some very practical tips on confident prayer.



I also addressed a question about going to church and I talk about recommendations for finding and chosing a church. I also answer a question from someone who is afraid of new digitial IDs that are coming out in Europe. She fears that having this ID is the mark of the beast. Another listener shares her struggle with being able to enjoy blessings because of people being persecuted all over the world.



I respond to a question from a young man who is wrestling with God’s calling and wondering if he may have misssed God, disappointed God or missed his calling. His family thinks he should be a pastor, but he is not sure that is what he feels led to do. But he is conflicted.



This episode is wonderful for Christians battling anxiety, OCD, intrusive thoughts, depression, or spiritual perfectionism. Learn to pray with confidence instead of condemnation, and discover God’s will through renewed thinking rather than obsessive searching.



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!function(r,u,m,b,l,e){r._Rumble=b,r[b]||(r[b]=function(){(r[b]._=r[b]._||[]).push(arguments);if(r[b]._.length==1){l=u.createElement(m),e=u.getElementsByTagName(m)[0],l.async=1,l.src="https://rumble.com/embedJS/ui1n23"+(arguments[1].video?'.'+arguments[1].video:'')+"/?url="+encodeURIComponent(location.href)+"&args="+encodeURIComponent(JSON.stringify([].slice.apply(arguments))),e.parentNode.insertBefore(l,e)}})}(window, document, "script", "Rumble");



Rumble("play", {"video":"v6xomti","div":"rumble_v6xomti"});



Recommended Resources:




* START HERE PAGE



* I Will Not Fear



* The OCD Healing Journey



* God Loves Me and I Love Myself!



* Join The Healing and Freedom Community




To support future broadcasts: 




* Consider a one-time donation.



* Become a monthly supporter.



* Join a free month of Audible Audio Books and get 1 Free Book!

Join us for a special Tuesday live, where I address your questions on mental, emotional and relationship health. I share about my recent trip to Texas to officiate a wedding, while sharing the powerful experience I had visiting the region in Hunt, Texas that was hit with devastating floods this past July.



Here are some of the topics that were covered:



Why a Father’s Words Can Destroying Your Mental Health (And How to Heal): I spent extended time responding to man’s journey, whose father said “figure it out on your own.” I address fatherlessness, broken hearts, re-parenting, and the struggle to believe God cares. This is deeply emotional and relatable to so many of us.



Relationship OCD vs. Emotional Affairs: How to Know the Difference: I contrast between two senerios – one where someone is actually having an emotional affair but calling it ROCD, versus someone compulsively confessing attraction, has ROCD, but their confession is hurting their spouse.



The Self-Sabotage Problem: Why Success Scares You More Than Failure: The discussion about fear of success, how unlovability causes self-sabotage, and why people push away good things when they don’t believe they are worthy of love.



Seminary Made My Religious OCD Worse (Here’s Why That’s Actually Good): Addressing a seminary student’s struggle with information overload, Religious OCD, Scrupulosity, doctrinal confusion, and fear of deception – while sharing that increased anxiety can be part of the growth process.



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!function(r,u,m,b,l,e){r._Rumble=b,r[b]||(r[b]=function(){(r[b]._=r[b]._||[]).push(arguments);if(r[b]._.length==1){l=u.createElement(m),e=u.getElementsByTagName(m)[0],l.async=1,l.src="https://rumble.com/embedJS/ui1n23"+(arguments[1].video?'.'+arguments[1].video:'')+"/?url="+encodeURIComponent(location.href)+"&args="+encodeURIComponent(JSON.stringify([].slice.apply(arguments))),e.parentNode.insertBefore(l,e)}})}(window, document, "script", "Rumble");



Rumble("play", {"video":"v6xgjca","div":"rumble_v6xgjca"});



Recommended Resources:




* START HERE PAGE



* I Will Not Fear



* The OCD Healing Journey



* God Loves Me and I Love Myself!



* Join The Healing and Freedom Community




To support future broadcasts: 




* Consider a one-time donation.



* Become a monthly supporter.



* Join a free month of Audible Audio Books and get 1 Free Book!

Do you find yourself in emotional flares, forgetting what you know to be true, where your emotions feel disconnected? Then allow this broadcast to be an empowerment to you. What about using your gifts and talents? Do you overthink your motives and live in fear that you will end up being the wicked servant in the parable of the talents? Allow me to walk you through it and encourage you to take fruitful action.



In this live episode, I dive into numerous topics for your healing and freedom journey:




* Struggling to recognize what is true and right in front of me but I cannot feel it



* Does God treat me according to how I see Him?



* Spinning about sending your child to public school



* Do I continue on mental health medication?




Are you searching for real help with relationship OCD from a Biblical perspective? I spend time addressing numerous Relationship OCD Questions:




* How do I know if God brings two people together?



* What about premarital counseling when you have OCD?



* How do I process criticism about my boyfriend from others?



* What do you do when you feel you can go on anymore?



* Confusion over “maybe, maybe not” when it comes to taking a step




What about feeling angry about God in suffering? What do you do when you find yourself stuck during seasons of suffering and you feel mad at God?



With encouragement rooted in Scripture—covering faith, grace, love, healing, and the power of community—this video will equip you to face emotional storms, embrace your identity in Christ, and take the next step in your mental health journey. Don’t walk this path alone!



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!function(r,u,m,b,l,e){r._Rumble=b,r[b]||(r[b]=function(){(r[b]._=r[b]._||[]).push(arguments);if(r[b]._.length==1){l=u.createElement(m),e=u.getElementsByTagName(m)[0],l.async=1,l.src="https://rumble.com/embedJS/ui1n23"+(arguments[1].video?'.'+arguments[1].video:'')+"/?url="+encodeURIComponent(location.href)+"&args="+encodeURIComponent(JSON.stringify([].slice.apply(arguments))),e.parentNode.insertBefore(l,e)}})}(window, document, "script", "Rumble");



Rumble("play", {"video":"v6x4wxo","div":"rumble_v6x4wxo"});



Recommended Resources:




* START HERE PAGE



* The Myth of the Perfect One



* The OCD Healing Journey



* God Loves Me and I Love Myself!



* Join The Healing and Freedom Community




To support future broadcasts: 




* Consider a one-time donation.



* Become a monthly supporter.



* Join a free month of Audible Audio Books and get 1 Free Book!

Join us for an insightful and empowering Sunday Live, where we dive deep into the journey of mental, emotional, and relationship health from a biblically-based perspective, which we pray is rooted in the love of the Father, the grace of Jesus Christ and the truth that sets us free. In this episode, we address timely and challenging topics, offer practical tools for healing, grieiving and wisdom we have learned along the way.



Today I talked about:




* A question from a listener, whose church did not mention the Charlie Kirk assasination and is in frustration.



* How to navigate the workplace when your Christian values are not in alignment with those who work there?



* Bible study on 1 John 5:6-13: The Witness in Heaven and On Earth



* Struggling with tears and not being able to cry



* Emotional contamination, fear of evil and superstition that becomes obsessive compuslive



* Exposure therapy and its application to faith and mental health



* Working through confusion about control issues.



* Audience Q&A: Receiving God’s love, forgiveness, overcoming spiritual struggles, OCD, and perfectionism



* Practical advice for studying, discipline, and managing emotional and mental health challenges




Whether you’re seeking encouragement, biblical insight, or practical steps for your healing journey, this episode is packed with wisdom and support.



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!function(r,u,m,b,l,e){r._Rumble=b,r[b]||(r[b]=function(){(r[b]._=r[b]._||[]).push(arguments);if(r[b]._.length==1){l=u.createElement(m),e=u.getElementsByTagName(m)[0],l.async=1,l.src="https://rumble.com/embedJS/ui1n23"+(arguments[1].video?'.'+arguments[1].video:'')+"/?url="+encodeURIComponent(location.href)+"&args="+encodeURIComponent(JSON.stringify([].slice.apply(arguments))),e.parentNode.insertBefore(l,e)}})}(window, document, "script", "Rumble");



Rumble("play", {"video":"v6x1r9y","div":"rumble_v6x1r9y"});




Recommended Resources:




* START HERE PAGE



* I Will Not Fear



* The OCD Healing Journey



* God Loves Me and I Love Myself!



* Join The Healing and Freedom Community




To support future broadcasts: 




* Consider a one-time donation.



* Become a monthly supporter.



* Join a free month of Audible Audio Books and get 1 Free Book!

Your nervous system needs the biblical call to “be still,” because when trauma hits, your mind and body get stuck in overdrive. You’re constantly on edge, hypervigilant, and unable to find peace. The last thing that feels safe is being still—yet that’s exactly what your traumatized nervous system needs most.



In this episode, I dive deep into the biblical foundation and practical power of stillness for trauma recovery. You’ll discover why Psalm 46:10’s command to “Be still and know that I am God” isn’t just optional advice—it’s essential medicine for your overstimulated nervous system.



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!function(r,u,m,b,l,e){r._Rumble=b,r[b]||(r[b]=function(){(r[b]._=r[b]._||[]).push(arguments);if(r[b]._.length==1){l=u.createElement(m),e=u.getElementsByTagName(m)[0],l.async=1,l.src="https://rumble.com/embedJS/ui1n23"+(arguments[1].video?'.'+arguments[1].video:'')+"/?url="+encodeURIComponent(location.href)+"&args="+encodeURIComponent(JSON.stringify([].slice.apply(arguments))),e.parentNode.insertBefore(l,e)}})}(window, document, "script", "Rumble");



Rumble("play", {"video":"v6wuy9y","div":"rumble_v6wuy9y"});



The Power of Stillness for Trauma Healing



When trauma strikes, it jolts our mind and body into a whirlwind of emotional chaos. Your nervous system gets stuck in overdrive—constantly scanning for danger, unable to rest, always preparing for the next threat. In this overstimulated state, the last thing that feels natural or safe is to be still.



Yet paradoxically, stillness is exactly what our traumatized hearts and minds need most.



The Challenge of Getting Still



If you’ve experienced trauma, you know the feeling: your internal world becomes a storm of anxious energy. You’re hypervigilant, restless, and peace feels impossible to grasp. Your mind races with worry, your body stays tense, and chronic busyness becomes your norm.



Try this simple experiment: pause right now and attempt to sit in complete stillness for just five minutes. Notice what happens. Does your mind begin to wander? Do uncomfortable emotions surface? Does anxiety creep in? This discomfort reveals just how much we need the very thing we’re avoiding.



The truth is that our lives are filled with a daily “buzz” of activity, and we can become so easily pulled into matching that external chaos with our internal state. We rush, move at frantic paces, and live in constant stimulation—all while our traumatized nervous system desperately needs calm.



What Scripture Says About Stillness



The Bible offers profound wisdom about the power of being still. “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). The Hebrew word for “still” here carries rich meanings: to cease, to stay, to sink down, to drop down, to relax, to withdraw, to refrain, to let go, to be quiet.



Isaiah reinforces this truth: “For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel: ‘In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength'” (Isaiah 30:15). There’s actual power and confidence built through quietness—not the kind of power we typically think of, but a deep, restorative strength.



David beautifully captures this in Psalm 23: “He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul.” Notice that restoration happens in stillness. As you watch the still waters,

In this heartfelt Sunday Live broadcast, I open up about the recent national trauma and its emotional impact on individuals, families, and communities. I also share my personal journey of processing grief, anxiety, and shock in the wake of tragic events, including the assassination of Charlie Kirk, and offers compassionate, faith-based insights for navigating these challenging times. I talk about why are so many highly emotional during this time and what can we do.



Together, Melissa and I discuss:




* The effects of trauma and the importance of grieving and emotional processing



* How to support your family and loved ones through difficult news



* Practical steps for managing anxiety, including morning anxiety and social media overwhelm



* The value of compassion, reasonability, and strong relationships in a divided culture



* Handling criticism and negativity online, especially for creators and artists



* Homeschooling, church community, and finding your place as a believer




This episode is filled with encouragement, practical advice, and spiritual wisdom to help you heal, grow, and support others. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, seeking comfort, or looking for ways to be a light in your community, you’ll find hope and empowerment here.



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!function(r,u,m,b,l,e){r._Rumble=b,r[b]||(r[b]=function(){(r[b]._=r[b]._||[]).push(arguments);if(r[b]._.length==1){l=u.createElement(m),e=u.getElementsByTagName(m)[0],l.async=1,l.src="https://rumble.com/embedJS/ui1n23"+(arguments[1].video?'.'+arguments[1].video:'')+"/?url="+encodeURIComponent(location.href)+"&args="+encodeURIComponent(JSON.stringify([].slice.apply(arguments))),e.parentNode.insertBefore(l,e)}})}(window, document, "script", "Rumble");



Rumble("play", {"video":"v6wq6p0","div":"rumble_v6wq6p0"});



Recommended Resources:




* START HERE PAGE



* I Will Not Fear



* The OCD Healing Journey



* God Loves Me and I Love Myself!



* Join The Healing and Freedom Community




To support future broadcasts: 




* Consider a one-time donation.



* Become a monthly supporter.



* Join a free month of Audible Audio Books and get 1 Free Book!

As I dive into important precepts for the healing of trauma, allow me to share with you the more important aspect of our healing journey–our connection to love. In this broadcast, I will share with you about the power of healing with TULA—Total Unconditional Loving Acceptance!



I dive into revealing why true healing begins not with fixing ourselves, but with embracing ourselves in love, right where we are. You will discover:




* What TULA means and why it’s essential for mental, emotional, and relationship health



* How trauma disrupts our ability to receive and give love—and how to restore that connection



* The destructive cycle of self-judgment and how to break free with compassion and grace



* Practical exercises to help you extend love and kindness to yourself, just as you would to a loved one




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The Healing Power of TULA: Why Total Unconditional Loving Acceptance Is Your First Step to Trauma Recovery



Healing doesn’t begin with fixing—it begins with love.



If you’ve been struggling with trauma, you probably found yourself being pulled into: “Try this therapy technique,” “Read this book,” “Do these exercises.” While these resources can be valuable, there’s something crucial we often skip right over in our rush to “get better”—something that could actually transform your entire healing journey.



It’s what I call T.U.L.A.: Total Unconditional Loving Acceptance.



The Problem with the “Fix Me” Mentality



When trauma hits, our natural response is to want it gone—fast. We want to get away from discomfort and dive into relief and comfort as quickly as we can. We become desperate for solutions, techniques, and quick fixes. But here’s what I’ve discovered after years of helping people through their healing journeys: when we jump straight to “fixing,” we’re actually bypassing the very foundation that makes real healing possible–the divine power of God’s love for you, right in your pain.



Think about it. When you’re triggered, when the flashbacks come, when anxiety overwhelms you, what’s your first instinct? We often turn on ourselves.



This is what Job did. After 7 days of silence and grief, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is an assualt against himself, where he loathed the day he was born. This is what trauma can do to our system.



So we become our own worst enemy, judging our reactions, feeling ashamed of our struggles, and demanding that we “get over it” already.



This self-attack actually deepens the wound.



What Trauma Does to Our Capacity for Love



Trauma doesn’t just hurt us—it ruptures our connection to love. It makes us uncomfortable with the very thing we need most: unconditional acceptance.

Are your expectations for marriage being hijacked by obsessive thoughts and compulsive checking? You might be dealing with relationship OCD without even knowing it. If you’ve ever found yourself constantly analyzing your feelings about the person you are dating, searching for “red flags,” or wondering if you’re with “the one” God has for you, this teaching is for you. Relationship OCD (ROCD) can create unrealistic and harmful expectations that sabotage healthy relationships before they even have a chance to grow. Allow me to explore 10 distorted expectations that relationship OCD creates—and how to break free from them.



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10 Distorted Marriage Expectations Fueled by Relationship OCD



You may be dealing with relationship OCD without even knowing it. If you struggle with relationship OCD, you want to check out my book, “The Myth of the Perfect One.”







1. Intensely Focusing on “The One God Has for You”



While wanting to follow God’s will sounds noble, this expectation can become toxic when driven by OCD. It creates two damaging pressures:




* The pressure to find: “I’ve got to find THE ONE person out there”



* The divine pressure: “I can’t miss God’s will or I’ll be disobedient”




This mindset places the decision entirely on God rather than recognizing that love is a choice you make daily. It also provides an escape route—if things get difficult, you can always say “I must have married the wrong person.”



Reality check: God gives you wisdom to make good decisions, but healthy relationships are built on your commitment to choose love, not on finding a mystical “perfect match.”



2. Seeking a “Just Right” Spouse



This expectation whispers: Don’t settle for anything less than the best. If there are flaws, you’re “settling.”



People with ROCD get triggered by the word “settling” because they view any decision involving flaws as compromising. They create mental checklists where every box must be perfectly checked off, obsessing over compatibility while constantly inspecting for what’s wrong.



Reality check: Every person has flaws. A healthy relationship isn’t about finding perfection—it’s about finding someone committed to growing alongside you. (Even that can come under the pressure of ROCD)



3. Compulsively Checking for Red Flags



While being aware of genuine red flags in relationships is wise, ROCD turns this into an obsession. You become hypervigilant, flaw-focused,

Are you ready for breakthrough and empowerment in your mental health and faith? In today’s Sunday Live, I bring a strong exhortation from 1 John 5:1-5 about Faith that gets built up when you see yourself as an overcomer. Melissa and I share some of our day to day encounters and experiences, where we continue to learn and grow in our journey and have good laught along the way.



I also share some updates on my book writing project, which will address the subject of Christian perfectionism, while also sharing about more content that will be coming up on trauma. Down the road I will be covering the subject of healing from spiritual abuse as well.



In this episode, we tackle some of the most important and relevant topics for your healing and spiritual growth:




* 1 John 5:1-5 Bible Study – Faith that overcomes: Building resilience and tenacity in what it means to embrace the call to overcome.



* Church culture & denominational differences: Honest conversations about Baptist, Pentecostal, and non-denominational experiences.



* Mental health & faith: Real talk on OCD, depression and negativity.



* Heart healing & adoption: Finding heart healing in the Father’s love and identity when you have been adopted or there is brokenness regarding your birth story.




I also address confusion regarding the idea of What Would Jesus Do and how it can make way for Christian legalism in how we keep trying to give up things to feel closer to God.



ROCD and Codependency confusion: I help a listener through confusion about Relationship OCD and getting entangled in codependency confusion.



If you’re looking for authentic stories, practical advice, and encouragement for your healing journey, this broadcast is for you. Hit play, join the conversation, and let’s grow together! Don’t forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE to help others find hope and freedom!



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Recommended Resources:




* START HERE PAGE



* I Will Not Fear



* The OCD Healing Journey



* God Loves Me and I Love Myself!



* Join The Healing and Freedom Community




To support future broadcasts: 




* Consider a one-time donation.



* Become a monthly supporter.



* Join a free month of Audible Audio Books and get 1 Free Book!

Grieving has to do with significant loss and working through the emotion of it all. If you’ve ever struggled with loss, pain, or the overwhelming emotions that come with grief, I invite you to join me for this heartfelt broadcast. In this second part of my series on tears, grieving, and lamenting, I open up about the most overlooked trauma healing experience—one that many of us try to avoid, but desperately need.



What about grieving through decisions and choices of the past? I talk about that as well.



Together, we’ll explore not just the pain of loss, but the beauty and growth that can emerge from it. I’ll share practical insights, biblical wisdom, and personal stories to help you embrace your own valleys and challenges. Whether you’re facing the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or the loss of a dream, you’ll find encouragement and tools to process your emotions in a healthy, compassionate way.



I talk about the five stages of grief, the difference between godly and ungodly sorrow, and how lamenting can become a powerful, honest exchange with God. This isn’t just about “getting over it”—it’s about learning to walk through grief with grace, finding hope in the darkness, and discovering that your tears are not a sign of weakness, but a sacred part of your healing journey. If you’re ready for a deeper, more authentic connection with yourself, with others, and with God, I encourage you to watch and listen. Let’s take this healing and freedom journey together.



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In our fast-paced, fix-it culture, we’ve somehow convinced ourselves that emotional pain is something to quickly overcome rather than work through. Yet one of the most powerful tools God has given us for healing remains largely misunderstood and avoided: the sacred process of grieving, crying, and lamenting.



Understanding Grief Beyond Death



When we hear “grief,” most of us immediately think of death and bereavement. While losing a loved one certainly calls for grief, this natural emotional process extends far beyond death. Grief is our response to any significant loss or change that dramatically alters our lives and perception of life.



Grief encompasses many kinds of loss:




* Relational losses: divorce, breakups, friendship endings, family estrangement, the empty nest transition



* Childhood wounds: grieving the loving childhood you never had, absent fathers, non-nurturing mothers, neglect



* Trauma of all kinds: abuse, natural disasters, spiritual abuse, violence



* Health losses: serious diagnoses, physical disabilities, infertility, miscarriage



* Future losses: job loss, financial ruin, shattered dreams, major disappointments



* Safety losses: changes in your community, country, or world that leave you feeling unsafe



* Past decisions: grieving unhealthy patterns or sinful choices you’ve made

I watched a short clip where Luke Combs, a well known singer, talks about his struggle with Pure O OCD. I wanted to share a fews thoughts to empower your journey. Pure O OCD is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder where the battles of compulsions take place internally, with mental compulsions and relentless rumination. I share not only my personal journey but also practical steps and compassionate insights that can help gain graeter freedom. Whether you’re struggling yourself, supporting a loved one, or simply want to understand this often-misunderstood condition, you’ll find encouragement, clarity, and hope here. Join me as we explore what it means to heal, grow, and find freedom together.



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When the compulsions happen entirely in your head, the struggle may seem invisible—but no less real.



Country music star Luke Combs recently opened up about his experience with Pure O OCD, shedding light on a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder that remains largely hidden from the outside world. His candid discussion reveals a truth that millions face daily: sometimes the most intense battles happen entirely within the confines of our own minds.



What Is Pure O OCD?



Pure O (Pure Obsessional) OCD differs from the more commonly recognized forms of OCD in one crucial way: the compulsions are mental rather than physical. While traditional OCD involves observable behaviors—hand washing, checking locks, arranging items—Pure O keeps all the action internal.



As Luke Combs explained, “You’re not doing any behaviors that are observable. The behaviors are all mental. It’s just rumination and mental rituals.” The result? Someone could be having a complete internal struggle while appearing normal to everyone around them.



This creates a unique isolation. Unlike someone who repeatedly washes their hands, a person with Pure O might spend hours mentally arguing with intrusive thoughts, analyzing their feelings, or performing elaborate mental rituals—all while carrying on normal conversations and daily activities.



The Invisible Prison



What makes Pure O particularly challenging is that it traps people in what can only be described as an “inward tornado.” The mind becomes a battleground where disturbing thoughts clash with frantic attempts to neutralize them. This internal chaos pulls people away from being fully present in their relationships, work, and daily experiences.



The compulsions in Pure O often take the form of:




* Mental arguing



* Debating with intrusive thoughts



* Trying to convince yourself they’re wrong



* Rumination: replaying scenarios over and over, searching for resolution



* Checking thoughts and feelings – Constantly monitoring your internal state for “proof” of your fears



* Mental rituals – performing specific thought patterns to feel safe or “right”

In today’s Sunday live, I dive deep into the heart of what it means to love one another—drawing from 1 John 4 and sharing how God shows up in our everyday loving connections and interactions. I also open up about the real struggles many of us face with OCD, trauma, abuse, anxiety, and how our faith can be both a comfort and an area of struggle on that journey. We didn’t shy away from tough topics here. I address the pain and confusion around divorce, remarriage, and abuse, and while bringing out the need for a compassion and sobriety. If you’re looking for insight and empowerment for your mental health, tune into this broadcast and let it wash over your heart.



Here are many of the topics covered today:




* Trauma and OCD with marital and parental fallout



* Spinning over male hair loss



* Aspergers, control issues and routines



* Triggered by Job’s suffering



* Nervous and concerned about certain therapy approaches



* Frustration and bitterness over speaking in tongues



* Disappointment with people



* What is trusting God?



* Ruminating over divorce and remarriage




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Recommended Resources:




* START HERE PAGE



* I Will Not Fear



* The OCD Healing Journey



* God Loves Me and I Love Myself!



* Join The Healing and Freedom Community




To support future broadcasts: 




* Consider a one-time donation.



* Become a monthly supporter.



* Join a free month of Audible Audio Books and get 1 Free Book!

Looking to experience greater healing from trauma and emotional pain that you have experienced? I want to share with you one of the simplest, very important, but also highly overlooked healing experience. It’s something you may have overlooked. It may even be something that you look down upon, but it is an aspect of healing that we can’t overlook. We need it for times where we need deeper processing of our emotions. It involves the power of tears, grieving and lamenting. 



When was the last time you truly allowed yourself to cry? Not the quick wipe-away-and-move-on kind of tears, but the deep, soul-stirring kind that seem to come from somewhere beyond words? If you’re like many, the answer might be “I can’t remember” or “I try not to let myself go there.” We live in a culture that sees tears as weakness, grieving as self-indulgence, and emotional expression as something to be avoided rather than embraced.



Many are uncomfortable with tears and grieving. Most people do not even use the word lamenting. But I want to highlight them from a biblical perspective, for your empowerment in addressing pain, heartache, emptiness, trauma, neglect and loss in helpful ways.



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My Journey with Tears



Early in my healing and freedom journey, because of my deep battles with obsessiveness, compulsivity, anxiety and bouts of depression–I opened up my heart for greater healing and freedom. I recognized my deep need for love and to experience the love of the Father in a personal way. 



I saw that I was carrying brokenness that needed tending to. I was no longer going to run from the emptiness and pain. I was ready to step into this journey. 



But I didn’t realize that when I opened my heart up, I became vulnerable to waves of tears that would suddenly hit me. It was like I became an open faucet of tears that would just show up. At first, I thought something was really wrong with me. I mean, I already thought a lot of things were wrong with me, but these tears seemed like a lot. 



So I asked someone who was praying with me about this issue. And he said something that was very helpful. He simply told me, “if the tears show up, just let them flow.” 



So I did that. At times I would have to excuse myself from a meeting I was in or take a bathroom break, but I gave myself room to let myself do something I didn’t do a lof of–just crying. 



I realized that it wasn’t about something being wrong with me. Something good was opening up in front of me, the ability to process through a bunch of emotions that had been built up in my system for years and never had any room to work their way through me. I had suppressed them and put on the good solider outfit, without giving any grace and space for my heart to breathe and work through the pain, emptiness and brokenness of my heart. 



From that moment on, I developed a positive and empowered view of tears. I appreciate tears. And by the end of this broadcast,