Most men — real, grounded, emotionally available men — want to treat you like a queen.
They want to adore you, provide for you, and see you light up when you feel safe and cherished.
The challenge isn’t finding those men — it’s recognizing them, and allowing yourself to receive what they offer.
So many women attach to men who aren’t ready, who don’t want to grow — and in doing that, they stop their own growth, too.
But when you begin to trust yourself, to hold your boundaries, to stay free while open… everything shifts.
You start to see the calm, steady men — the ones who already see you as “enough.”
Don’t you think that free-spirited women are the most attractive women in the world? So wouldn’t we want to be that?
Every month on The Siren Island Official Course & Community, I’ll be there to answer your questions and help you get clear on the big-ticket things you want—and then express those wants to men.
Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island
Love, Rori
Being messy is one of the first steps to being free.
How could you possibly go from being constricted and choosing men who don’t give you real love to being free enough to have amazing relationships and an amazing life?
On the way to your feminine energy, everything comes apart.
You have to untangle the beads before you can make a new necklace.
It’s going to be messy — but that’s how you begin to breathe again.
When you hide your emotions, your nervous system breaks down.
Stress overloads you, and the patterns that once kept you safe start to crumble.
That’s when the feminine arrives — in the chaos, in the feeling, in the honesty of who you really are.
Because when you finally let yourself be messy — when you stop trying to hold it all together — that’s the moment your feminine energy wakes up.
This is the heart of feminine energy — and Siren Island will help you live it every day.
The Siren Island Official Course & Community will get you where you want to go in every part of your life because you'll finally learn how to live from your Feminine Energy.
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
Sometimes the man you’re drawn to brings out fear, anger, or pain. And when he finally shows up, what you feel isn’t joy… it’s relief.
Have you noticed that when you feel afraid most of the time, everything starts to feel heavy — even your relationships?That little rush of chemistry or passion can feel like love, but real love feels different. It feels safe. Steady. Connected.If he isn’t truly showing up — if you’re carrying the whole relationship — that’s not love. That’s fear running the show.You deserve something real. That’s why I created The Rori Raye Feminine Energy Siren Island — a space to heal your emotions, learn how to recognize real love, and grow your ability to have it all just by being your authentic girl-self.Siren Island is here:https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/Love, Rori
We’re not broken — it’s trauma! Many of us choose partners who aren’t good for us, sometimes even narcissists or psychopaths, and blame ourselves.
It’s your background, not your worth.We’ve been taught to stay small, and yet the healing begins when we expand.Try this:Stretch your arms wide. Feel the edges of the room, the mountain, the ocean.
As you grow bigger, the man you’re pining for suddenly feels smaller.You don’t have to choose between love and anger — your bigness lets you feel them all at once.
You just need to feel the feelings.In The Rori Raye Feminine Energy Siren Island, you’ll learn my Feminine Energy tools to feel stronger — inside yourself and in front of a man, now and forever, no matter where you’re starting from.Here’s Siren Island:https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/Love, Rori
He Wants You Mad!
Some men provoke anger on purpose.
When he’s defensive or distant, it’s often guilt—he already feels he’s not doing enough.
If you explode, he gets the alibi he needs to pull away: “See? You’re always angry.”
Step out of that trap.
Take two slow steps back, say nothing, and let his words land.
Don’t feed the guilt loop.
The shift in energy alone can change the whole dynamic.
Many of us feel drawn to the men who give the least, while dismissing the good ones.
That isn’t weakness—it’s subconscious self-protection.
The first step toward change is to notice the pattern and stop giving away your life-force to men who won’t meet you halfway.
Lean back.
Breathe.
Protect your energy.
When you stop reacting, you break the cycle and reclaim your power to choose love that feels safe, healthy, and mutual.
Bring the tools off the podcast and into your life.
Join Siren Island for live classes, a replay library, and a warm, supportive community.
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
What saved me was circular dating.
the simple decision to keep meeting people, stay social, and treat all men as equal until one puts a ring on your finger.
For years I believed that once I kissed someone, I had to be exclusive.
That mindset kept me stuck.
Circular dating freed me to connect, to heal through being social—even coffee dates, language meetups, or just standing and letting people talk to me.
Most of us choose men who don’t truly choose us because our subconscious wants us to stay single—it’s trying to protect us from old pain handed down by family, childhood, and even generations.
The key is learning to feel instead of suppress.
Feelings are the healing!
When we make all men equal and express ourselves honestly—especially when triggered—we begin to love from a place of power instead of fear.
Want to learn my Circular Dating tools in real life with coaching and support?
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
Why have you chosen a complicated, difficult relationship?
Why are we choosing complex, difficult relationships?
Because we want to.
Yes—you’re afraid of intimacy.
You’re afraid of commitment.
Do you choose men who make you pine for them?
It is all us.
It’s all you.
Why do I want this complexity?
We are all choosing to match what happened with our parents.
The discomfort of love and relationship—the pain of bad relationships—actually becomes our norm in our brains.
And we keep trying to repeat it.
We are trusting our chemical attraction and following that… more than we are following our actual want.
The conflict is this:
I want security.
I want ease.
I want to feel relaxed.
But just waiting for him to do stuff, and spending your life waiting—
that is a choice we make because we really don’t want a relationship.
You’ve been trained to choose what’s difficult.
But it can feel natural—even easy—to want connection, commitment, and love - and start baby-step by baby step to let love in!
On Siren Island you’ll have access to tools, guides, and live personal coaching.
Try Siren Island for a month for only $33.
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
If you find yourself taking the responsibility for the relationship and the apologeticness of the conflicts that happen all the time… if you’re always trying to solve stuff, excusing him for bad behavior, and it’s always in 60/40, 70/30 mode where you’re doing most of it—something’s wrong.
The Modern Siren tools work—sometimes so well that a man who isn’t truly ready can still look like he is.
That’s why the real power isn’t just in using the tools—it’s in going deeper, listening to your intuition, and choosing only the love that’s real.
It fools you because he’s able to step up when he wants to.
And by the way, this is a narcissist’s whole ability for roping in women—they’re really good at convincing you they’ve got the goods.
They can convince you for months, even years, and then their real self shows up.
You don’t get to have a long-distance relationship because you can’t handle it, because we choose difficult relationships for a reason.
This is something I want you to ask yourself: Why am I choosing a difficult relationship?
Difficult would be a long distance.
I don’t get to touch him.
He doesn’t get to smell me.
He doesn’t get to feel me.
So how can he actually feel anything? He can’t.
Learn more about Siren Island here: https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
You already have a script inside you — from your parents, your school, your society, your religion.
But are you actually living your life on your playbook or somebody else’s?
Many women wake up in midlife realizing they’ve been following someone else’s rules the whole time.
The truth is: the man in front of you may be a partner in your life, but he is not the center of your life.
You are the center of your life.
When you begin to shift into your own center, fear comes up — because it means facing the parts of yourself that have stayed small or quiet out of habit. But those baby steps into your own gravity are where empowerment starts.
When you take baby steps, you’re not just changing habits — you’re meeting yourself.
Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/
Love, Rori
If you ever find yourself feeling invisible in a room with your man and his friends, pause and ask: Why am I here?
If this is an everyday pattern, that’s a red flag.
But if he’s otherwise a great guy, don’t force yourself into his moments with his buddies.
Instead, notice your feelings and share them with warmth: “I love that you have such great friends, and I also feel a little left out. I want more time with you—what do you think?”
The key is knowing what you truly want, not reshaping a man to fit you.
If his lifestyle leaves you aching, that’s valuable information. And while you figure it out, don’t collapse into desperation.
Circular Dating — being social, having options, letting yourself be seen — protects your heart and builds sanity.
When you stop pushing and start living fully, your vibe shifts. You feel safe, empowered, and magnetic again.
https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/
Love, Rori
If you are pulling away from him because he’s too handsome or you’re pulling away because he’s not handsome enough, ask yourself, “Okay, this is a free therapy session with a man who showed up. Let’s find out his message and let’s treat him like a good person.”
Breathe.
You don’t have to go home and wash your hair.
Just learn whatever you’re there for.
Think of it as a spiritual experience, and practice speaking to this guy you might otherwise want to shut down or dismiss.
This is where your power is: bold sharing of your actual feeling state. This is your superpower.
Can you imagine how many women in the world cannot do this—99% of them? And how many men feel pushed, shoved, and treated poorly by women? We’re not here to treat guys badly.
We’re here to find a partner, someone who gets us. And how will they get you if you don’t share what’s really going on?
The whole “high maintenance” thing is a sham. Men love high maintenance women.
There’s a big difference between being high maintenance and being dramatic, angry, or pissed off at him for everything.
That’s what he’s trying to avoid. If you tell him what you want, he can relax.
He doesn’t have to guess anymore.
Yes, it’s vulnerable. Yes, it’s facing our own wants and expectations.
And yet, the practice of gently experimenting, saying things out loud, and treating a man you don’t even see romantically as just a good person—it’s revolutionary.
You don’t even have to know why you matched.
Just let yourself be there.
In Feminine Energy, what we’re really aiming for is finding what you’re feeling, what makes you feel good, and sharing that.
This flies in the face of everything we’ve been patterned to do around men… and we’re turning it all around, baby step by baby step.
Here’s Siren Island:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/
Love, Rori
Why do we care what he thinks if you pay or you don’t pay?
Why are you making a big deal out of it? … This is the old thing about wanting him to like us.
I’m gonna do this so he’ll like me.
This is not what Siren is.
Feminine energy is not about making the best choice to get the best man — That’s not what attraction is.
Attraction is authenticity.
Your authenticity in that moment is that you’re feeling confused.
You don’t know whether to pay or not pay or what to say, and while you’re trying to make that decision, you’re going, ‘Wait, I’m strong; I should be able to do this,’ and all of a sudden you’re in your head trying to figure it out.
I feel cherished and valued when he pays, but I’m nervous that if I show up like that, how is he going to take it? That’s old sh*t. Not power.
Power is: no matter how I feel, I can express that.
No matter what’s going on for me, I can speak that.
I do not need to try to figure out what he wants to hear.
What we’re aiming for in Feminine Energy is finding what you’re feeling, what makes you feel good, and sharing that.
This is stuff that flies in the face of everything we’ve patterned our habits and how we act around men… And we’re turning this all around—baby step by baby step.
Siren Island is my official course, coaching community - and so much more.
Join me and bring your real situations, questions and be part of Siren conversations like this one.
Information for Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/
Love, Rori
Vulnerability is scary, intimacy is scary—no matter how much we say we want it.
But today, how we shift our words to be soft, to be inviting, to be siren-y, like the Siren concept of creating a healing, creating the desire to make things happen. It’s activism, it’s girl power, it’s the inner strength of who we are as women. And yet, until we’re able to strip down, de-armour ourselves, really, we can come off as these warrior women.
If we are unconsciously acting in our warrior self, then most of us are also confused as to why men won’t come close—which is what we want.
So how do we de-weaponize our words?
De-armor our whole selves to let a man in?
Weaponizing words starts with us asking, ‘Why?’ ‘Why did you do that?’ ‘Why did you say that?’ ‘Why that shirt?’ That is passive-aggressive.
That is weaponizing your words. And it’s a learned pattern, handed down through generations of powerlessness.
We’ve had no choices except to weaponize ourselves in the most passive-aggressive, undercurrent, slimy, under-the-radar way of protecting ourselves and being heard.
This conversation is about unlearning all that—so that love can actually get in.
On Siren Island, Every day, you’ll have space to practice deep, feeling-based communication—for healing, for love, and for everything you want from your feminine energy.
Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/
Love, Rori
A man who can’t meet you emotionally… can’t. He just can’t.
But he still may be a good partner. Perhaps.
Everywhere I go—and I’ve talked about this before—I meet women who’ve divorced men, left men, or are still in relationships with men they’ve just discovered are actually clinically on the autism spectrum.
If you’ve ever watched Love on the Spectrum, it’s a fabulous show. You’ll learn so much—how people on the spectrum learn to care, to respond, to match with others… or how hard it can be to find someone who can keep up.
Because there is a spectrum.
And I’m going to say this:
We’re all on a spectrum.
All of us.
We all exist on a spectrum of how we take in information, how we process, and how we respond. We all have different skill levels.
People on the autism spectrum often have incredible intellectual skills.
Many have thoughtful, deeply compassionate emotional intelligence. They’re not less than—they’re different.
Just different than our skills.
And most of us are blind to what’s right in front of our faces.
We react instead of respond.
We shut down when we actually want to open up.
Is this something that’s showing up in your own love life?
Are you with a man who wants to love you, but just doesn’t quite meet you emotionally?
I’d love for you to join me live on Siren Island for our next MasterClass.
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/
Love, Rori
Once you are vulnerable and somebody shuts you down because they don’t know what to do with it, you’re going to have double reactions: “Oh, I shouldn’t have done that.”
That is a clue that, number one, he might be wrong for you — he just can’t get you. But more than that, he’s simply not used to it.
He doesn’t know what to do. He’s afraid. He’s afraid that if you’re crying, it means he did something wrong.
The shift is this:
“My power, when I cried, had a profound effect on him.”
Say that to yourself. Let yourself notice — “Whoa, I just had a profound effect on him. I cried. I must have been vulnerable.”
Check in with yourself:
Are you leaning back?
Are you letting the tears fall freely without anger or blame?
Breathe. Open up. Stay with yourself.
Your emotions are natural — they’re part of your feminine energy. You don’t need to push or perform. Simply allow yourself to feel, to open, to let the energy move through you.
And if a man says something like “Don’t cry,” shift the story inside yourself:
He’s not angry at me — he’s scared.
He doesn’t know what to do with my emotion.
But my emotion is powerful. It’s not wrong.
Say to yourself, “Thank you for being here with me while I feel this.”
This is how you create deeper connection — not by shutting down or blaming, but by leaning in to your own truth and letting him witness it.
If this resonates with you, imagine having a safe, supportive space to practice these shifts every week.
That’s exactly what you’ll find on Siren Island — my official course and community where we dive into feminine energy tools, live coaching, and powerful truth-telling practices.
Siren Island is here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/
Love, Rori
Men will tell you, "Well, how can I trust you if you’re seeing other men?" It's all just just not true.
Your grandmothers had dance cards.
This is something new that men have concocted.
Exclusivity and It's all to their benefit, not to yours!
You want to be available to men everywhere until a man just wants you and jumps up at you and offers you everything.
If there's any confusion on his part at all, you just keep Circular Dating.
Men do need time.
They need a year or two.
So what are you supposed to do?
Closet yourself away? No.
You talk to men everywhere.
You have coffee with men out of nowhere.
You absolutely do not go exclusive.
If you are in a situation that is specific and you think you need to, ask me, ask one of my coaches, and we'll tell you exactly what to do, how to Circular Date without actually dating in a way that will keep you sane.
You’ll have access to live classes every week inside my Feminine Energy Sanctuary, Siren Island — my official community for staying soft, and having the love you want.
Join us for only $33/month:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/
Love, Rori
What we do in our entire lives is we concoct this mental strategy, we have put together a pattern of behavior that we were taught to protect ourselves.
Our parents taught us that, society taught us that, we taught us ourselves that from the first time we were hurt by exposing ourselves.
We learned how to do everything possible to push people away and not be emotionally intimate.
And if you really look at everybody around you, you will notice hardly anybody is open to real emotional connection, and we've accepted that.
We've accepted anger and all kinds of strategies other than the reality of being where we are, loving ourselves, being in ourselves, and not being in the old patterns.
All of a sudden it's brand new, it's terrifying, He comes close. You are open. It's
like being assaulted!Go ahead. Imagine him in front of you. Imagine he's all you ever wanted. Imagine him now actually walking towards you with flowers and a ring and food and love and a smile in his face.
And he reaches you and he touches your breast. And he just says, "You are beautiful. How do you feel?"
I've never met a woman who doesn't immediately feel terrified the moment she gets what she wants.
So we want to prepare for that!
On Siren Island, Practicing Feminine Energy tools to feel your heart, your Feminine Energy and have love respond to you in beautiful ways.
Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, right now the monthly membership is only $33 here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/
Love, Rori
So often, we acquiesce.
Not because we’re weak, but because it’s easier.
Easier to go along with his mood, his energy, his comfort zone—than to sit with what’s actually alive inside of us.
If I just soften, smile, agree, maybe the tension will go away.
Maybe love will feel safe again.
But when I do that too quickly, without checking in with me first, something happens: I start to disappear.
And with that disappearing act comes resentment.
Tiny and quiet at first, like a whisper we don’t want to admit we hear. We tell ourselves, “I’m fine. I’m the cool girl.
I can handle this.” But under that “fine” is a feeling that never got acknowledged.
And when we keep stuffing that feeling down just to keep the peace, we slowly lose touch with our true feminine power.
But what if we didn’t do that?
What if your first reaction wasn’t to him, but to you?
This is the practice!
It’s in those exact moments—when he’s distracted or cold or unavailable—that you have a choice.
You could shrink and make it about him…
Or you could lean into your own body, your own breath, and ask gently, “What’s happening in me?”
When we respond to ourselves first, something softens and steadies. Maybe we don’t need to say anything right away. Maybe the moment becomes a cup of tea, stroking the cat, letting our nervous system settle.
And sometimes—often, even—before you know it, he’s right there, arms around you, pulled back in by the magnetic truth of your centeredness.
On Siren Island, we practice living as your most empowered Feminine Self.
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/
Love, Rori
So let's say out of nowhere, he's defensive.
Out of nowhere, he's just like pissed. He's cranky, right?
And he says something and you immediately feel, I want to get back on track.
I want to be loved.
what happened, he just got mad at me, and you're going to have reactions.
So we want to make the difference between reaction and responsiveness in all thesedifferent scenarios.
So the reaction would be, you're pissed right back.
How dare he? Where is this coming from?
And anger, right?
Another option would be, oh, we're off.
Oh my gosh, you know, what know what happened?
Let's get us back on track.... I'll be loving, I'll be giving, I'll be warm...
That could be a reaction and we're all different.
Some of us immediately click into anger, some of us immediately click into repair mode.
On Siren Island, we practice living as your most empowered Feminine Self.
Practicing Feminine Energy tools you want and need to feel your best all out GIRL life and have love respond to you in beautiful feeling ways.
Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, right now the monthly membership is only $33 here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/
Love, Rori
You’re the Siren!
You’re the beacon.
He’s always in search of his emotional center, but he cannot find it unless you are shining.
And you can’t do that from your head!
You have to drop back into your feelings, into your body, into the truth of what you want — not the rules, not the negotiation.
The Want.
You have to go first.
That’s the part no one wants to hear — but it’s true.
You’re the one who understands how to create intimacy in a way he doesn’t yet. You can’t reconnect with him until you reconnect with yourself.
That’s where the trust begins again.
That’s where clarity comes from — not from controlling him, but from feeling you.
When you’re grounded in what feels good and true, you won’t need to figure anything out. You’ll know.
On Siren Island, we practice living as your most empowered Feminine Self.
Practicing Feminine Energy tools you want and need to feel your best girl life and have love respond to you in beautiful feeling ways.
Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, right now the monthly membership is only $33 here:
https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/
Love, Rori
