This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're diving into funny facts that are supposedly true (emphasis on supposedly). Spoiler alert: our fact-checking is questionable at best.

We kick off with some delightful diarrhea truths that naturally spiral into conversations about shitting yourself and enemas. Because that's just where our brains go. Then we tackle relationship facts, traffic light waiting statistics that one of us loves and the other absolutely despises, and the great Pringles guy mystery - was he buried in a full-size 6-foot Pringles can or just his ashes in a regular crisp tube? We still can't figure it out.

Flamingo facts somehow lead us to presidential anal enemas (don't ask) and back to our beloved Dolly Parton, Earth's official alien ambassador. We also discover that Chloe's soul sister is Margaret from Something About Mary. P.S. Fuck Gen Z's who haven't seen it.

We wrap up with alarm clock facts and completely fail to mention that the inventor worked in the "clock industry" before his big break. Revolutionary stuff, really.

Contains toilet talk, traffic light beef, flamingo facts nobody needed and facts we're 60% sure are accurate.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're unleashing our inner entrepreneurs with business ideas so brilliant, we're surprised we're not millionaires yet. There's a reason we're not.

We kick off with our genius plan for a pet-sitting service specifically for the rapture - because someone needs to look after Fluffy when the chosen ones ascend to heaven. It's a niche market, but we're cornering it.

Lady M gets excited about her specialty: glitter cards that explode on opening. Nothing says "I hate you" quite like covering someone's entire house and face in sparkles that will never, ever come off.

We also pitch edible to-do lists made from rice paper - finally, a way to literally eat your responsibilities! Plus our masterpiece: Selling crack cocaine to hoarders and then they sell their stuff to pay for the crack. Helping addicts get a replacement addiction. 10/10.

Somewhere along the way, we decided we'd make excellent detectives and got completely sidetracked by a case involving a man suspected of having a hamster carrying Cocaine in his bum. Spoiler Alert.....It was our hamster.

Warning: Contains entrepreneurial delusions, more weekly glitter-based plans, and enough bad ideas to concern actual business advisors.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're diving into horror films and quickly discover that Chloe knows absolutely nothing about them while Lady M has apparently seen every scary movie ever made. It's like pairing a horror encyclopedia with someone who thinks Casper is terrifying.

We tackle the big question: would we actually leave a haunted house? Turns out it depends entirely on the housing market and whether we've had a good night's sleep. Priorities, people.

Things get weird when we discuss listening to Britney Spears and being called a witch (fair assessment), Chloe's Japanese headband fashion choices, and Lady M potentially sporting a Hitler moustache to match. The visual is concerning.

We debate our weapon choices for surviving a horror film - spoiler alert: we've gone with a fire door and Lego because we're tactical geniuses. Our hiding spots include a bus and an ottoman bed, which shows exactly how unprepared we are for actual danger.

We also discussed loads of far-fetched scenarios, create our own horror masterpiece starring the terrifying "Mr Moshi Yakusami," and reveal that only one of us would be helpful to the other in a crisis (and it's definitely not reciprocated).

Warning: Contains questionable survival strategies, facial hair comparisons to dictators, and a soundtrack that's surprisingly coherent for once.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're diving into the classic lies our parents told us as kids - you know, all those ridiculous myths that somehow convinced an entire generation of children.

We start with the greatest hits: sitting too close to the TV will make your eyes go crossed (spoiler: total bollocks), and how turning on the interior car light will apparently cause a fatal accident. Because nothing says "safety first" like your dad screaming about dome lights.

Then we get into the food lies: eating carrots will give you superhero night vision (thanks for nothing, Bugs Bunny), and the classic "eat your crusts and you'll get curly hair." Apparently this also extends to other types of hair, which led us down a particularly uncomfortable rabbit hole.

Naturally, we couldn't stick to innocent childhood memories, so we ended up discussing topical conspiracies and somehow devolved into excessive use of the word "moist," casual mentions of raw-dogging and going bareback, before concluding that our next career pivot should obviously be the adult film industry. Because that's a totally logical progression.

From innocent parental fibs to questionable life choices, we're exploring the lies that shaped us and the terrible decisions we're making as adults.

Warning: Contains childhood myth-busting, conspiracy tangents, overuse of uncomfortable words, and career advice that absolutely nobody should follow.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're tackling the unwritten rules of society - you know, all those things that somehow everyone's supposed to know but nobody actually taught us.

We dive into the complex etiquette of petting other people's dogs and the awkward small talk that follows with random dog owners. Can I pet that dawgggg?

Then we get into the proper grim stuff: people who don't flush public toilets (why are you like this?), mouth-breathers who chew with their gob wide open, and those absolute savages who cough without covering their mouths. We're basically surrounded by walking health hazards.

We also discuss the cardinal sin of double-dipping when sharing sauces - because nobody wants your saliva-contaminated hummus - and the bizarre concept of saying thank you after sex. Because apparently Chloe thinks bedroom activities require the same courtesy as a business transaction. From dog-petting protocols to etiquette disasters, we're exploring the unspoken rules that apparently hold society together.

Warning: Contains social rule judgment, questionable hygiene commentary, sauce-sharing etiquette debates, and conversations that nobody needed to hear.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're going full tinfoil hat (Lady M special) as we dive deep into alien conspiracy theories and extraterrestrial encounters.

We start by discussing how aliens are definitely real and already living among us, disguised as humans (we're looking at you, suspicious neighbour). Then we pitch Area 51 as the ultimate holiday destination - forget Center Parcs, we want that alien technology tour package.

Our brilliant plan involves appointing Dolly Parton as Earth's official spokesperson because honestly, who better to represent humanity? We also get into the important prep work for alien encounters - specifically whether you should wax or bleach your bum hole before the inevitable probing. Because first impressions matter, even with extraterrestrials.

We unveil our genius business plan for colonoscopy game shows (it's surprisingly marketable), discuss crop circles as legitimate art installations, and debate which movie aliens we could actually take in a fight. Spoiler: not many.

From intergalactic diplomacy to anal hygiene protocols, we've covered all the essential topics for when our alien overlords finally reveal themselves.

Warning: Contains conspiracy theories, inappropriate body preparation discussions, questionable medical game shows, and enough delusion to concern actual alien researchers.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're playing "Would You Rather?" with the most ridiculous scenarios imaginable.

We start with the classics: permanently wet socks or constantly feeling like you have popcorn stuck in your teeth? Welcome to sensory hell. Then comes sweating maple syrup versus sneezing glitter, which somehow triggers Chloe's random Michael Bisping story because that's how her brain works.

Things escalate when we debate fighting one horse-sized duck or a hundred karate-trained duck-sized horses. This spiraled into creating a business plan for supplying oversized poultry to restaurants because we're entrepreneurial geniuses, obviously.

We tackle modern dilemmas like having your browser history published annually or texts auto-read in public monthly. This brilliant discussion spawned our new idea: Our Shit Podcast - The Diarrhea Series (really reaching new lows here).

We finish by discussing explaining dirty jokes to 5-year-olds versus having grandma explain them to us, plus testing our moral boundaries on sleeping arrangements and attractiveness scales. Watch out Susan Boyle, Henry Cavill, Jodie Comer, and poor Dave from Accounts. Dave... you are never getting laid.

Warning: Contains unrealistic animal combat strategies, digital privacy violations, at least three business ideas that should never see the light of day.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're putting ourselves through the moral and philosophical wringer with some absolutely unhinged hypothetical scenarios. Buckle up, it gets dark!

We dive straight into the deep end with five questions that nobody asked for but we're answering anyway. First up: would we resort to cannibalism on a stranded island with only a 25% chance of rescue? Because apparently we needed to know where we stand on eating each other.

Then we tackle the classic drowning dilemma - old lady or baby, you can only save one. Cue existential crisis and questionable moral reasoning as Chloe straight-up steals the baby. We also reveal our dream dinner guests, which predictably include Henry Cavill and Arnold Schwarzenegger (because we're nothing if not predictable), decide on our Spice Girls names ranging from Expired Spice to Bald Spice, and debate the largest mammal we could knock out with one punch. The confidence levels are wildly inaccurate and we don't actually know what constitutes a mammal.

From survival cannibalism to celebrity dining fantasies and violence against wildlife, we've covered all the important life questions that definitely won't help us in any real situations.

Warning: Contains disturbing survival scenarios, questionable moral compasses, unrealistic assessments of our punching power and celebrity dinner party delusions. We're also terrible people.

Welcome to Red Flag Week on Our Shit Podcast, where we're waving more flags than a communist parade! This week we dive into the big icks and red flags that make us want to swipe left on humanity.

Starting with guys who think we care about their fantasy football obsession - lads, your made-up team's performance isn't exactly riveting conversation over dinner. Then we get into the hygiene horrors - people who think their legs are magically self-cleaning during showers and the absolute chaos of restaurant forks that have been through thousands of mouths.

We also discuss the massive red flag of people who are rude to waiting staff, the existential crisis of red onions actually being purple (who's been lying to us?!) and Chloe's questionable relationship with alcohol whilst on a date.

Warning: Contains harsh truths about personal hygiene, fantasy football slander and enough red flags to close a beach. Also, Chloe definitely needs an intervention.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're talking about things we don't discuss enough and why we actually did them. Welcome to our shame spiral!

We start with the classics: hoarding receipts for expired frozen lasagnes, mourning cargo trousers with multiple pockets despite having nothing to put in them, and destroying the family PC downloading "totally legitimate" Limewire files. RIP to all the computers we murdered for free music.

Then comes fashion trauma: the tragic loss of low-rise jeans and our millennial crisis of dressing like we have an HR meeting. Apparently we peaked in 2003 and never recovered. We reminisce about Microsoft Paint masterpieces, pretending we understood Minesweeper, MSN chat glory days, celebrity porn searches, and the weird intimacy of sitting next to strangers in dark cinemas.

Things get unhinged discussing second-hand furniture secrets and mysterious hotel room goings-on (hence the episode title). We wrap up with travel advice for Lady M, including the crucial foil hat technique for watching sleeping friends.

Warning: Contains enough oversharing to fill a therapy session, questionable internet history, and hotel etiquette tips that definitely aren't in any guidebook.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're planning for the inevitable zombie apocalypse because apparently we think we'd survive longer than five minutes.

We dove deep into survival strategies, discussed plans for the first 72 hours, debated the different types of zombies (fast vs slow, smart vs stupid), and honestly assessed our completely useless skill sets for the post-apocalyptic world. One of us isn't going to make it.

But naturally, we found ways to monetise the apocalypse. We discussed fighting zombies for profit (because capitalism never dies), the booming market for zombie porno flicks (someone's got to entertain the survivors), and our groundbreaking idea for zombie dance shows. Because nothing says "end of civilization" like choreographed undead entertainment. Also Chloe unsuccesfully pitched her skill set to join any survivor community. The delusion is strong with this one.

Warning: Contains unrealistic survival confidence, questionable business ventures involving the undead, and enough zombie-related entrepreneurial schemes to concern actual apocalypse preppers. Also, we're definitely dying first.

On this week's episode, we dive deep into the stupidest possible ways to blow a fortune, and honestly, we're kind of impressed with ourselves. (Lady M even made notes)

Join us as we plan our financial suicide with a cheese wheel the size of a car, a house surrounded by a legitimate moat/lazy river (old man vibes, obviously), and our crown jewel - a restaurant that serves nothing but meth (the "Methtaurant," patent pending). We're talking exotic animals we have no business owning and a hotel staffed entirely by drama llamas.

But wait, there's more! Ever wanted a Japanese toilet in every room? How about bidets that shoot warm champagne instead of water? Or maybe you'd prefer to slide down a Mountain Dew waterslide every morning? We've got you covered.

We also discuss buying haunted houses just to prove ghosts are real, funding conspiracy theory research, and generally making decisions that would make financial advisors weep. This is less "how to manage wealth" and more "how to lose everything in record time."

Warning: Do not use this episode as actual financial advice. We cannot be held responsible for any lottery winnings lost due to our terrible influence.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're ditching reality to debate which movie universes we'd want to live in and which ones would turn us into immediate casualties.

We start sensibly enough: superheroes, wizards, or sci-fi adventures? Then we spiral into the horror movie universes that would have us dead within minutes because let's face it, we're not main character material.

But obviously we can't stay on topic for five minutes. We got deep into the ergonomics of being a ghost - do you waste your haunting powers trolling your mates wanting a peaceful wank or go full revenge mode on people you actually hate? Then came the Henry Cavill obsession (standard), dinosaurs with hematomas, and our Oscar-worthy pitch to rewrite Jurassic Park with Harvey Price as the lead.

Meanwhile, Dave from accounts gets his weekly verbal beatdown from us. At this point we're just bullying a fictional office worker who probably just wants to update his Excel sheets without being roasted by two idiots on a podcast.

Warning: Contains delusional movie pitches, way too much personal information that nobody cares about, and the answer everyone has been waiting for... the current UK price of a Freddo.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, get ready for a proper moan-fest as we dive into our biggest pet hates - personal, generational and national.

We start with the classics: public displays of affection that make us physically ill, the absolute travesty of thin-cut toast (where's the substance?!), and the ultimate millennial fear of answering the phone. Because apparently we'd rather die than have an unscheduled conversation.

We explore how different generations get wound up by completely different things, and somehow manage to sound like we're 80 years old despite being millennials. Plot twist: one of us realises we're being gaslighted by the other.

Then we get into quintessentially British rage triggers: queue-jumping, waiting patiently as we disembark the Titanic (because we're well-mannered in a crisis), and the eye-watering price of Fredos that's basically our national measure of economic collapse.

Warning: Contains excessive tutting, mild road rage, genuine outrage about chocolate bar pricing, and at least one friendship-threatening revelation.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we've solved World War 3! You're welcome, humanity.

We discussed what we'd do if WW3 kicked off and somehow convinced ourselves we'd be essential military assets. Spoiler alert: we absolutely would not be. We debated our ideal draft roles, from fighting alongside Beyoncé on the front line to Lady M's uncanny resemblance to Jack Reacher making her perfect for covert ops.

Key tactical discussions: looking fabulous in camo, the optimal battle playlist (Call Me Maybe vs It's Britney Bitch), and our revolutionary conflict resolution methods. Why bother with actual warfare when you could settle disputes through Uno, Twister, chess, naked MMA battles or just have world leaders whip out rulers for a good old-fashioned dick measuring contest?

Our masterstroke? Achieving world peace through honey-drenched bear wrestling matches. It's foolproof, don't question it. Plus, we cracked the ultimate millennial draft-dodging technique: simply don't open the letter.

Warning: Contains zero actual military expertise, questionable conflict resolution strategies, and enough delusion to power a small country. The Ministry of Defence is probably crying.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're diving into our most irrational fears and unhinged intrusive thoughts that pop up at the worst moments.

From "what if I die naked?" to being convinced there's a shark in the swimming pool or snake in the toilet (apparently we think we live in Australia), we cover the classics. Then we explore those pesky intrusive thoughts like wanting to lie down in the supermarket, hitting the wrong pedal while driving, or just... throwing a shoe into a crowd. Normal Tuesday thoughts, right?

This leads to bizarre death-related chats about burial possessions, plus the legendary tale of someone accidentally exposing himself on a Teams meeting. Because nothing says "professional development" like workplace nudity.

Somehow Batman got involved in our psychological breakdown too, because of course he did. We compare our ridiculous phobias and discover some truly concerning thought patterns.

Warning: Contains enough neuroses to stock a psychology clinic, accidental workplace nudity stories, and proof that we probably shouldn't be left alone with our own thoughts.

This week on Our Shit Podcast, we're tackling the big questions: What superpower would you choose, and what would you do with a one-time trip back through history?

First up: superpowers! From mind reading (for totally innocent purposes, we swear) to flying (because who has time for traffic?), we break down various superhuman abilities with some seriously questionable reasoning. Spoiler alert: our motivations might be more selfish than heroic.

Then we hop in our hypothetical time machine for some armchair history editing. We explore everything from personal do-overs to, uh, more dramatic historical interventions. Let's just say we got a little dark with our world-changing ambitions.

We also somehow ended up discussing whether Elon Musk is secretly a Power Ranger, which made way more sense than it should have.

Fair warning: This episode contains questionable superhero ethics, amateur time travel theory, and at least one conversation that definitely puts us on some kind of watch list.

In this week's episode, we deep-dive into our achy bodies and our delusional Olympic aspirations. Because apparently we think we're athletes now?

We got a little carried away discussing which Olympic events we could totally dominate (spoiler: very few) and totally made up a couple of new ones like fighting dwarfs. Yes, that's a real conversation we had.

Fair warning: Contains talk about colonoscopies, questionable body assessments, and one of us at the grand age of 30 doesn't know what a chocolate starfish is. The innocence was beautiful while it lasted...

Just when you thought being a millennial couldn't get any worse - enter the robots. In episode 2, we dive headfirst into our inevitable robot-dominated future and why. It's packed with hypothetical scenarios, millennial anxiety, and enough nonsense to make you question everything. 

Fair warning: this episode contains zero actual expertise and maximum speculation. We hope you enjoy our descent into robot-induced madness.

P.S. - Any robots listening to this, we're totally cool with you. Please don't remember this when you take over.

Welcome to our very first episode of Our Shit Podcast.

This inaugural episode is admittedly a bit all over the place—think of it as organised chaos. We're still finding our groove, so you'll catch us free-balling through conversations about everything and nothing, probably oversharing, and definitely making it up as we go along.

Consider this your official invitation to join two people who have their shit together just enough to hit record, but not enough to have a proper outline. We promise it gets better (or at least more coherent), but honestly, the messy authenticity is kind of our whole thing.

So grab your emotional support beverage of choice and settle in for some premium millennial rambling.