When big feelings arise, it’s natural to want to shrink and shirk them - but these instincts can lead us into dangerous territory, ballooning into habits and compulsions that can dominate and destroy our lives.  In this episode, we welcome Mark Freeman, author of You Are Not A Rock. Together, we discuss: Building mental health skills like we develop physical fitness Approaching a ‘Values-Led’ life like we make good cookies And what sorts of communities are important in our growth and recovery ——   Show notes: We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!) Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter/X and TikTok Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/ Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop Jingle by @nikitakarmen  — You Are Not A Rock: A Step-By-Step Guide to Better Mental Health - Mark Freeman (Book) https://www.markfreeman.ca/books/ The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (Film) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0359950/

Big feelings can pull us here and there, but often in the direction of pleasure and away from discomfort. Dopamine has a part to play, but what exactly does it do for us and how can we be wise and mindful when following its pull?   In this episode, we welcome our first ever guest, Dr Anastasia Hronis, author of The Dopamine Brain. Together, we discuss: The horrible inevitability of sitting with discomfort Our pursuit of feeling good and where it might lead us astray And why values are essential on our path to live rich & meaningful lives. ——   Show notes: We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!) Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter/X and TikTok Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/ Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop Music by @nikitakarmen  — • The Dopamine Brain - Dr Anastasia Hronis (Book) More on Anastasia here: https://www.anastasiahronis.com.au/

Plot twist are an exciting feature of our favourite stories but can be the most harrowing experiences of our actual lives. In this episode, we reveal: The major plot twists of our lives and how we survived them The painful exercise in pushing through when life shoves us into the unknown How to exist in the story before growth, closure or resolution And why resilience looks much messier, sloppier and tear-stained than we ever expected ——   Show notes: We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!) Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter/X and TikTok Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/ Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop Music by @nikitakarmen  — The Plot - Jean Hanff Korelitz (Book) The Sequel - Jean Hanff Korelitz (Book) I Who Have Never Known Men - Jacqueline Harpman (Book) "Yes---what the American public always wants is a tragedy with a happy ending." William Dean Howells “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” Søren Kierkegaard "End Effects of Rated Life Quality: The James Dean Effect" by Ed Diener, Derrick Wirtz, and Shigehiro Oishi, published in Psychological Science in 2001. This research explores how the ending of a life influences the perceived desirability of that life.

Existing as a flawed human creature is a messy, unpredictable and imperfect art, so how are people setting themselves up as experts on the matter?   In this episode, we: Call bullshit on self-proclaimed experts in the wellbeing   scene We tackle Imposter syndrome when you’re a mental health professional whose life is falling apart And we celebrate the power and skill of truly witnessing someone (which doesn’t require a certification) ——   Show notes:   We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)   Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv   You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok   Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com   Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/   Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop   Music by @nikitakarmen   — The book Ash refers to is Sorrow & Bliss, by Meg Mason "Don't preach from your wounds. Preach from your scars." - Nadia Bolz-Weber, a Lutheran pastor “The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.” – Bertrand Russell

It’s a jungle out there for functional neurotics looking for love. Dating demands you bring your best self to the table, but what truths do we disguise in our effort to make ourselves more appealing and palatable to others? Coming up, we explore: What it means to be passionate and intense when men want laid back and easy going Going with your gut when a dynamic doesn’t feel  right Why it feels risky to put your big-feelings on display too soon And why it’s alright to be an acquired taste ——   Show notes:   We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)   Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv   You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok   Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com   Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/   Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop   Music by @nikitakarmen

Do you routinely cut yourself off from feeling? Do you bristle at the act of having to perform a “work-friendly” version of yourself? There are many ways we compartmentalise ourselves and our emotions. Coming up, we explore: The themes of Severance, and what they mean for authenticity and emotional truth Taking a break from the “performance of identity” Emotional pain avoidance and why its not a workable strategy And the healing power of feeling in concert with others ——   Show notes: We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!) Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv   You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok   Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com   Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/   Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop   Music by @nikitakarmen   —   Collective Illusions: Conformity, Complicity and the Science of Why We Make Bad Decisions (book by Todd Rose) https://www.amazon.com.au/Collective-Illusions-Conformity-Complicity-Decisions/dp/0306925680   Severance (TV series directed by Ben Stiller)   The Substance (film directed by Coralie Fargeat) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Substance   Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (film directed by Michel Gondry) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_Sunshine_of_the_Spotless_Mind   “Emotions are like children - You don't want them driving the car, but you shouldn't stuff them in the trunk either."

Are you an expert at the sulk and serving up the silent treatment? It can be hard enough managing our own big feelings but what about when we need to let our loved ones in on our emotional chaos in a way that won’t leave them running for the hills?   In this ep, we chat about: Pre-gaming emotional tiffs before they blow out Growing out of the allure of the soulmate and having grown-up conversations Sharing observations, feelings and stating what we need in our relationships And what happens when we say what we want, but we still don’t get it ——   Show notes:   We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)   Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv   You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok   Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com   Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/   Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop   Music by @nikitakarmen   —   Essays In Love - Alain de Botton (Book)   Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication - Oren J. Sofer (Book)   Gottman’s Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

We finish off our two-parter on overthinking and take a deep dive into the emotions we’re ignoring when we retreat into rumination.   We explore: Whether complex emotions are the culprits luring us into overthinking Why “why” is a fraught question to ask ourselves when we’re feeling vulnerable How to get out of our heads and into our bodies with mindfulness-based inquiry And the challenge smart people face in stepping away from the intellectual into something more poetic and slippery ——   Show notes:   We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)   Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv   You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok   Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com   Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/   Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop   Music by @nikitakarmen   —   Reel: Gary from Connecticut, "We don’t need your “under-thinking” thoughts" https://www.instagram.com/p/DGJMg0tRcKV/   Loving Kindness With Self-Compassion. Kristin Neffhttps://insig.ht/r7J9wfOY4Nb   Edie Brickell, Me By The Seahttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XqoeyLwiX4

Overthinking is the plight of many of us big feelers - but if it leaves us feeling worse, why do we do it at all? and what might we do instead?   Coming up, we chat about: Greys Anatomy as a tool of emotional catharsis Whether rumination is the same as a compulsive behaviour The itchiness of emotionally-charged 2am thoughts How we can mindfully intervene when we’re lured by the siren song of overthinking   ——   Show notes:   We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!)   Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv   You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok   Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com   Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/   Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop   Music by @nikitakarmen   —   Article: Anger and Catharsis: Myth, Metaphor or Reality? [Psychology Today] https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/evil-deeds/200909/anger-and-catharsis-myth-metaphor-or-reality   Book: You Are Not A Rock - Mark Freemanhttps://www.markfreeman.ca/books/   TV Series: Greys Anatomy https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0413573/   Movie: Freaky Friday https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0322330/   Article: Why Do I Get So Hot When I Sleep? [Sleep Foundation] https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-faqs/why-do-i-get-so-hot-when-i-sleep   Article: Elevated body temperature is associated with depressive symptoms: results from the TemPredict Study [Nature] https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-51567-w

When big feelings are a huge feature of your life, how do you understand the people in your life who experience their emotions in different ways? And how might we communicate better so they can understand the weird emotional ways we operate?   We chat about: Needing responsible role models of people who feel big feelings Questions to ask the non-neurotics in your life when you’re tearing your hair out wondering what’s going on for them The illusion of empathy and how making assumptions about other people’s emotional states can be a slippery slope Our desperation for resolution, and learning to sit with uncertainty Show notes: We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!) Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/ Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop Music by @nikitakarmen

Being emotional is often synonymous with instability, drama and difficulty. How might we create a new narrative for emotionality that doesn't leave us branded as walking disasters? Coming up, we dive into: Ash’s mindfulness spa experiment and how marathon training is like a meditation retreat People’s discomfort with your discomfort and the agony of being reminded “You Got This” Becoming emotionally bilingual with a partner whose love language involves spreadsheets Taking responsibility for our big feelings and exploring the quest to become more emotionally elegant   Show notes:   We love hearing from you! We’re active on Instagram @ashking & @daronlarson (find us, DM us!) Be part of the conversation via our Instagram Channel here: https://www.instagram.com/channel/AbaBFH6hH-ALvmgB/?igsh=cHQwcDIwOWRidTZv You can also find us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter?X and TikTok Or reach us via email: ash@ashking.com.au & daron@daronlarson.com Subscribe to Daron’s Substack: https://daronlarson.substack.com/ Check out Ash’s shop (with mental health and mindfulness goodies. Heavy Mental merch and any upcoming courses or workshops): https://www.heavymental.com.au/shop Music by @nikitakarmen

We're often encouraged to "feel our feelings" as a route to healing and greater self-awareness, but what does it even mean? And exactly how does one go about it? This episode explores: The difference between feelings and emotions How to tease apart physical vs emotional sensations Why sense-making gets in the way of us feeling feelings in our bodies Ash's dating life, and how it feels - literally And we leave you with a mini-challenge to try out in your own life, to work at becoming a better emotional connoisseur Show notes: “You Aren’t at the Mercy of Your Feelings—Your Brain Creates Them,” TED Talk by Lisa Feldman Barrett “Mapping Emotions On The Body: Love Makes Us Warm All Over,” Michaeleen Doucleff, Dec. 30, 2013 100 Days of Rejection Therapy from Jia Jiang Misattribution of Fear for Arousal (the scary bridge study), Dutton & Aron (1974)chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://sanlab.psych.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/31/2016/03/Dutton-Aron-1974-arousal.pdf Follow along with Daron's guided exercise, Emotional Meteorology: https://daronlarson.substack.com/p/emotional-meteorology --- Follow Ash & Daron on IG: @ashking @daronlarson Music by @nikitakarmen

Why are we drawn to sharing our inner worlds, and is it more urgent and more complicated when you're neurotic? This episode explores: The urge to take our private journaling public The personality types that have an easier time keeping it real The benefits of spilling your guts online If living mindfully is incongruent with doing it “for the plot”? Performance anxiety - but the role is ‘acting human’ And we leave you with three key things to consider before sharing your inner world elsewhere Show notes: What Do I Know?: Essential Essays by Montaigne: https://www.amazon.com.au/What-Do-Know-Essential-Essays/dp/1782278818 Ash’s Thesis: https://hdl.handle.net/2123/32466 The appeal of “real” in parasocial interaction: The effect of self-disclosure on message acceptance via perceived authenticity and liking by Hye Soo Nah: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0747563222001522 'I was ashamed of myself when I realised life was a costume party and I attended with my real face' - Franz Kafka --- Follow Ash & Daron on IG: @ashking @daronlarson Music by @nikitakarmen

This is Interfering Neurotic with me, Dr Ash King, and mindfulness coach, Daron Larson - where we navigate a life lived with the curses and blessings of big feelings. Coming up, we explore:  The reality show that is US politics and how we feel about it The Big 5 Personality Test and what ingredients make for a neurotic individual Art and creativity as a safe space for the emotional experience The benefits of being more objective to our subjective experiences And the pro’s and con’s of sharing our feelings and struggles with the wider world --- Show notes: Educated - Tara Westover [Book] How 'Poor Things' actor Emma Stone turns her anxiety into a 'superpower' [Interview with Terry Gross] https://www.npr.org/2024/03/08/1236564681/how-poor-things-actor-emma-stone-turns-her-anxiety-into-a-superpower The Big 5 Personality Assessment https://www.idrlabs.com/big-five-subscales/test.php Is neuroticism really bad for you? Dynamics in personality and limbic reactivity prior to, during and following real-life combat stress [Journal Article] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352289521000692 Follow Ash & Daron on IG: @ashking @daronlarson Music by @nikitakarmen

Welcome to our first ep of Interfering Neurotic with Dr Ash King, and Daron Larson - where we navigate a life lived with the curses and blessings of big feelings. Together, we explore why we think, feel and act the ways we do (sometimes against our better judgement) and the deranged pursuits we embark upon to find ourselves, fix ourselves and keep fooling ourselves.    In Episode 1, we tackle: What to do when break ups leave us devolved to wet slimy slug-form Recommendations for meditations and movies What it means to be neurotic and the first moments in our lives we thought we might be The nature of endurance and resilience in a world full of unknowns. --- Show notes: Daron’s TEDTalk: https://youtu.be/Ze6t34_p-84?si=dTLDEQJ_g0Xddt0p The Wonder (2022) Sebastián Lelio: https://boxd.it/v3uY Loving Kindness With Self-Compassion. Kristin Neff https://insig.ht/r7J9wfOY4Nb Friendliness Resistance Training. Daron Larson https://insig.ht/MoSjSRHY4Nb The Big 5 Personality Assessment: https://www.idrlabs.com/big-five-subscales/test.php “I can’t go on, I’ll go on” - Samuel Beckett   Follow Ash & Daron on IG: @ashking @daronlarson Music by @nikitakarmen