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Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Becky Vixen
40 episodes
1 week ago
Welcome to Heart First, Head Later —your unfiltered guide to the messy, funny, and real sides of modern love. Whether you’re dating, divorced, or just figuring it all out, we’re diving into relationships, sex, breakups, and everything in between. From swiping disasters to emotional breakthroughs, nothing is off-limits. Expect honest convos, a little sass, and zero shame. Because love isn’t always pretty—but it’s always worth talking about.
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Relationships
Society & Culture
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All content for Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder. is the property of Becky Vixen and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Welcome to Heart First, Head Later —your unfiltered guide to the messy, funny, and real sides of modern love. Whether you’re dating, divorced, or just figuring it all out, we’re diving into relationships, sex, breakups, and everything in between. From swiping disasters to emotional breakthroughs, nothing is off-limits. Expect honest convos, a little sass, and zero shame. Because love isn’t always pretty—but it’s always worth talking about.
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Relationships
Society & Culture
Episodes (20/40)
Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 40: Grief Doesn’t Mean You Owe the World Your Sadness Forever

For years, I believed that keeping my sadness alive was the only way to stay loyal to the person I lost. I thought happiness meant forgetting — and forgetting meant betrayal. But grief doesn’t want your punishment; it wants your peace.

In this vulnerable episode, I open up about how guilt quietly shaped my relationships, my self-worth, and the way I allowed myself to be loved. I share the moment I finally stopped punishing myself for surviving my best friend — and how that healing made room for a new kind of love, one rooted in safety, gentleness, and grace.

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2 weeks ago
7 minutes 44 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 39: Stop Making Excuses for Why You Can’t—Start Proving to Yourself That You Can

Fear loves to disguise itself as practicality, and before you know it, you’re living inside a story of “I can’t.” But those excuses aren’t protecting you; they’re keeping you stuck.

This episode is your push to stop waiting, stop doubting, and start moving. You’ll learn where excuses really come from, the quiet cost of letting them run your life, and how to start proving to yourself that you’re capable of so much more than you think.

If you’ve been waiting for the perfect time or the courage to magically appear, this is your reminder: confidence is built by action, and you can start today.

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1 month ago
7 minutes 55 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 38: The Person You’re Dreaming Of Exists—But You’ll Miss Them if You Stay Here

The love you’re dreaming of is real—the kind that feels safe, steady, and deeply fulfilling. But here’s the hard truth: you’ll miss it if you stay tied to someone who can’t or won’t love you the way you deserve.

In this episode, I share my own journey of leaving a narcissistic, abusive relationship—where fear kept me stuck—and how healing opened the door to meeting my boyfriend, a partner who is kind, consistent, and everything I once thought didn’t exist.

This is your wake-up call: staying in fear keeps you from the future you long for. Healing is the bridge. And on the other side of that healing is the love you’ve been waiting for.

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1 month ago
13 minutes 38 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 37: Timing Is Part of the Magic

What if your timeline isn’t broken—it’s just unfolding?

In this episode of Heart First, Head Later, Becky unpacks why timing is part of the magic when it comes to love. Using Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s engagement as a cultural reminder, she explores how love doesn’t need to happen by 22—or on anyone else’s schedule—to be real, lasting, and aligned.

This conversation is for every woman who’s ever worried she’s “behind,” compared herself to friends’ milestones, or questioned whether love passed her by. Becky shares why timing matters more than speed, how past heartbreaks can prepare you for the right relationship, and why your detours aren’t wasted—they’re set up.

If you’re still hoping, still waiting, and still trusting, this episode will remind you: you’re not late. You’re right on time for your own love story.

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1 month ago
7 minutes 27 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 36: Love as a Daily Practice

Love isn’t built on anniversaries and Valentine’s Day alone — it’s built in the everyday. In this episode, we unpack what it really means to treat love as a daily practice: showing up on the ordinary Tuesdays, not just the highlight moments.

We’ll talk about the myth of “effortless love,” why relationships are work (in the best possible way), and how small, consistent gestures matter more than grand, occasional ones. From choosing patience after a long day, to listening with intention, to simply being present — the daily choices are what create trust, safety, and lasting intimacy.

Whether you’re partnered or single, this episode will help you reframe love as a practice: something you nurture, tend to, and grow with time. Because the truth is, ordinary love is extraordinary when it’s consistent.

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1 month ago
7 minutes 56 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 35: Visibility Is a Love Language

In this episode, we explore why your partner deserves to feel seen, valued, and appreciated even on the most ordinary days. Because visibility shouldn’t be a reward for performance—it should be the baseline of connection.

We’ll talk about the subtle but powerful ways to affirm your partner’s presence, how to show up with emotional attentiveness in the everyday, and why relationships suffer when people feel invisible. If you’ve ever wondered how to build a love that lasts—not just performs—this one’s for you.

Because your person shouldn’t have to wait for a birthday, breakdown, or crisis to know they matter.

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2 months ago
8 minutes 20 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 34: Healing Isn't Just For Me, It's For Us

Healing after a toxic or abusive relationship isn’t just about reclaiming your own peace—it’s also about the partner you’ll someday share your life with. When we do the work to unlearn survival patterns, set boundaries, and rebuild our sense of worth, we don’t just transform how we treat ourselves—we transform how we show up in love.

In this episode, I talk about why healing isn’t selfish, why it matters for the intimacy and stability you’ll share in a future relationship, and how doing the work allows you to listen more deeply, love more fully, and create safety where once there was chaos. If you’ve ever wondered whether all the inner work is worth it, here’s your reminder: your healing doesn’t just change your story—it changes the love you’re capable of giving and receiving.

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2 months ago
9 minutes 27 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 33: Your Partner Should Feel Safe to Be Authentic

If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you had to shrink yourself or edit your truth just to keep the peace, you know how exhausting it is. Real intimacy—emotional and physical—can only grow when both people feel safe enough to be their full selves.

We’ll dive into what emotional safety actually looks like, how to create it for your partner day-to-day, and why it’s the secret ingredient to deeper trust, better communication, and the most connected sex of your life.

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2 months ago
9 minutes 39 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 32: I’m Having the Best Sex of My Life

Let’s talk about sex—the kind that feels safe, connected, and wildly fulfilling. In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on what it really means to have intimate chemistry that’s rooted in trust, emotional safety, and mutual desire.

This isn’t about performance. It’s about presence.

It’s about being seen, heard, and wanted for exactly who you are—and how that kind of connection changes everything behind closed doors.

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3 months ago
6 minutes 52 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 31: I Had to Stop Mistaking Anxiety for Intuition

After emotional abuse, your nervous system doesn’t just remember pain—it expects it. In this episode, we unpack the difference between anxiety and intuition, especially when past trauma has made it hard to tell them apart. If you’ve ever spiraled over a text, questioned a calm connection, or felt “off” in moments that might actually be safe, this one's for you.

We talk about how trauma creates false alarms, what real intuition actually feels like, and how to slowly rebuild self-trust after gaslighting, manipulation, or betrayal. This episode is a gentle invitation to stop letting fear lead—and start hearing your true inner voice again.

Because you’re not broken. You’re just learning how to trust yourself on new ground.

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3 months ago
10 minutes 22 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 30: You Can Be Direct and Still Be Kind

Being clear doesn’t make you cold. Being honest doesn’t make you harsh. In this episode, we’re rewriting the narrative that kindness means sugarcoating, and directness means cruelty. You’ll learn how to communicate your needs, set boundaries, and speak your truth without guilt, aggression, or apology. Because when you lead with care and clarity, you don’t have to choose between being kind and being honest—you get to be both.

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3 months ago
6 minutes 19 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 29: The Version of Me You Knew Doesn’t Live Here Anymore

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your growth.

In this episode, we talk about what it means to outgrow the roles, relationships, and survival strategies that once defined you—and how to stop shrinking yourself to stay familiar to people who only remember your past self. From setting unapologetic boundaries to releasing the need for approval, this is your permission slip to embody the version of you you fought to become.

You’re not who you used to be.
You’re becoming someone deeper, softer, stronger—and that’s the point.



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3 months ago
7 minutes 15 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 28: You’re Not Overreacting—You’re Just Wired to Notice Everything

If you’ve ever replayed a text a dozen times, read too much into a “hey” that came late, or wondered if you’re just too sensitive for this dating world, this episode is your permission slip. We dive into why your overactive radar isn’t a flaw but a superpower, how to tell intuitive nudges from anxious spirals, and practical tools for dating without letting your mind run the show. Say goodbye to self-doubt and hello to emotional clarity.


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4 months ago
6 minutes 52 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 27: Let's Be Honest Early and Often

In this episode of Heart First, Head Later, we’re getting real about the value of honest communication—especially in the early stages of dating. Because let’s be honest (pun intended): the clearer you are, the less chaos you invite.

We talk about why transparency doesn’t have to be terrifying, how to express what you want without oversharing or over-explaining, and how to create a connection without playing guessing games.

If you’ve ever held back out of fear of “ruining it,” this one’s for you. Because honesty—early and often—isn’t too much. It’s exactly how you protect your peace and find people who are actually aligned.

Let’s normalize saying what we mean from the beginning.

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4 months ago
6 minutes 56 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 26: Where There’s Safety, There’s Everything

Physical chemistry might spark a connection—but it’s emotional safety that makes it last. In this episode, we explore what it really means to feel safe in someone’s presence: to speak freely, to be messy, to be seen without performance. Whether you're dating, building a relationship, or healing from a past one, this conversation unpacks why emotional safety isn’t a bonus—it’s the foundation. Because when trust is in the room, everything else—intimacy, joy, depth—gets better.


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4 months ago
9 minutes 17 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 25: It Wasn’t Expensive—It Was Intentional

In a world that equates love with price tags and performance, this episode is a reminder that the most meaningful gestures often don’t cost a thing. We’re unpacking why time, presence, and thoughtful effort matter so much more than flashy gifts or expensive dates. Whether you're in the early stages of dating or years into a relationship, real connection is built on emotional richness—not material wealth. Let this be your permission to stop trying to impress and start showing up with intention.

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4 months ago
8 minutes 15 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 24: Consistency Is a Real Love Language

It’s not about how intensely they come on at the start—it’s about how they show up when the honeymoon energy fades. In this episode, we talk about why consistency is everything in dating and relationships. From text habits to emotional presence, we unpack how reliability, follow-through, and showing up with intention are the real markers of someone’s readiness for love. If you’ve ever felt confused by mixed signals or drawn to people who come in hot and cold, this one’s your clarity check. Because real love doesn’t play games—it shows up.

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4 months ago
7 minutes 21 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 23: It’s Not About the Place—It’s About the Presence

Forget fancy dinners and curated date nights—this episode is a love letter to low-key, high-connection moments. We’re breaking down why the best dates don’t require money, reservations, or perfect lighting… just presence. From parking lot heart-to-hearts to coffee dates that turn into hours of conversation, we’ll talk about how effort, thoughtfulness, and emotional availability matter way more than price tags. Because when someone shows up with real energy and genuine interest, even the simplest moments can feel unforgettable.


If you’re done with performance-based dating and ready for the kind of connection that doesn’t need a filter, this one’s for you.

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4 months ago
7 minutes 49 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 22: Dating Doesn’t Mean I’m Pressing Pause

Relationships can be beautiful, consuming, and all-encompassing—but it should never come at the cost of your ambition. In this episode, we’re talking about how to stay grounded in your goals while opening your heart to someone else. Because catching feelings doesn’t mean you have to drop your vision, your drive, or your identity.

Whether you’re in a relationship, navigating something new, or learning how to balance love and self-growth, this episode is your reminder that you’re allowed to be devoted to both your partner and your purpose.

You don’t have to shrink to fit into someone else’s life—you get to expand together.

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5 months ago
7 minutes 53 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Episode 21: It's a No if I can't Be Myself

Dating shouldn’t feel like a performance—and if you can’t be your full, unfiltered self with someone, it’s not a connection worth keeping. In this episode, we’re calling out the pressure to be palatable, “chill,” or effortlessly perfect just to be chosen. We talk about what performative dating looks like, why so many of us fall into it, and how to start showing up as your real self—quirks, opinions, soft parts and all. Because the right person won’t just tolerate who you are—they’ll crave it.

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5 months ago
8 minutes 43 seconds

Heart First, Head Later: Love Hard. Lust Harder.
Welcome to Heart First, Head Later —your unfiltered guide to the messy, funny, and real sides of modern love. Whether you’re dating, divorced, or just figuring it all out, we’re diving into relationships, sex, breakups, and everything in between. From swiping disasters to emotional breakthroughs, nothing is off-limits. Expect honest convos, a little sass, and zero shame. Because love isn’t always pretty—but it’s always worth talking about.