Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
I admit that I wasn't sure what to expect from this one. I knew it to be some sort of suspense thriller, but the blurb on my hardcover from the library says, "Still waters run deadly." I was hoping for some sort of lake monster! Alas, I have no idea if such a monster awaits or not.
Day starts this book with two little, um, blocks of text. They're not prologues per se; one is a newspaper excerpt about a dead body found near the lake, and one is about the lake waking up in spring, and danger lurks there. These two "mini-beginnings" before the actual beginning felt a bit awkward, but I gave the author a pass. They're establishing a sense of menace and foreshadowing, right? They want to make sure the reader catches this important information so they don't miss it in the regular storytelling. Fine.Chapter 1 officially begins with protagonist Julia infuriated because her lifelong friend had the audacity to build a new lake house that obstructs the view of the lake from her lake house. There's extra emphasis on how she and her husband are broke, yet they got a fancy new car and, well, have a lake house on top of wherever else they live. She cannot believe she'll have to take a different kind of walk down to the lake. She cannot believe her friend installed art in the yard. She cannot believe some trees were cleared. And surely their other friend and fellow lake house owner will be just as mad.
I had to stop after three pages of this. Stories need characters readers can connect with. Yes, some stories can star assholes. Plenty of classics contain such characters. Heavens, I've written such characters. But there has to be an ability to connect SOMEWHERE, and listening to someone complain about how their friend changed up their house and ruined their lake view got very tiring very fast. Sure, maybe this pettiness speaks to the protagonist's character and possible character arc. But the first five pages need to compel readers to read on, at least to chapter 2. A writer shouldn't assume that a brief news report of discovered skeletal remains will be enough to keep regular readers engaged while a protagonist complains nonstop about a privileged kind of problem.
Let’s see what next month’s find will teach us, shall we?
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
It's not often I see fake-outs in a book, but be damned if McAuley doesn't pull it off MULTIPLE TIMES in just half a dozen pages.The first line packs a punch: "Dragging a body through six inches of snow is even harder than I expected." A reader can make plenty of assumptions based on the first line, let alone the first page. We first meet the narrator the dead body of someone named Ben through the snow. At first, I thought she was dragging him to bury him in the wilderness, but then on the second page we learn she wants to get his body back to his family because he deserves a proper funeral...though what happened to him, we don't know, only that his chest is full of puncture wounds. But by the fourth page, Ben's body disappears to be replaced by a ghost addressing Hannah. And then Hannah wakes with Ben alive by her side. And then cold starts setting in with Ben interrogating her about his death. And then he vanishes, and Hannah is alone.McAuley deftly balances the immediate action of each page, whether it's hauling a carcass in the snow or a loving embrace with one's partner. The focus is on the moment, and because of that, readers are immediately digging for clues about what happened with Ben on the mountain and why they were there to begin with. Of course, one needn't give away the mystery so quickly, but it's fascinating for a ghost/dream version of the dead to ask the narrator what happened and she doesn't answer. Is she hiding it from ghost, or merely her own conscience? She's certainly doing a damn good job hiding it from the readers! So I guess I'd better keep reading to find out what happened. :)
Let’s see what next month’s find will teach us, shall we?
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
This series was originally published independently, and grew such a following it's now got a traditional publishing deal. Good for Dinniman, I say, because these first five pages are bang-on. Heck, I spent the first half of my podcast dissecting the first page. The first few sentences alone share a lot of information.
"The Transformation occurred at approximately 2:23 A.M., Pacific Standard Time. As far as I could tell, anyone who was indoors when it happened died instantly. If you had any sort of roof over you, you were dead. That included people in cars, airplanes, subways. Even tents and cardboard boxes. Hell, probably umbrellas, too. Though I'm not so sure about that one."We don't know what The Transformation is, but the scope of death alluded to by the narrator is shocking. We also have a sense of the narrator's sense of humor and unreliability with the extent of his examples but uncertainty if he's right. As readers, we have to go along with the narrator, and as the paragraphs progress, we don't mind. The narrator is a principled guy who won't let his ex-girlfriend's cat die, and because of that he's alive when The Transformation happens. By the end of five pages you learn a lot about the protagonist Carl, his skill set, his relationship with Princess Donut the cat, and what The Transformation looked like through his eyes. And if that's just the first five pages, I can't wait to see what the next hundred have to share. Let’s see what next month’s find will teach us, shall we?
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
I have a feeling I’m going against the flow with this one. OurLast Resort by Clémence Michallon has an enticing premise: the protagonist Frida and her brother are visiting a secluded desert resort in Utah. According to the book’s blurb, they had escaped a cult together fifteen years ago, and soon her brother will be the prime suspect in a series of murders.What could possibly go wrong with such a premise?!
For the record, I’ve nothing against the premise. The sibling relationship is effectively portrayed in the first chapter before the brother’s even had a chance to speak. There is also a brief flashback to Frida’s childhood, alluding to the violence inflicted on children who try to seek help from the outside. All this is masterfully done by Michallon.
However, the opening chapter focuses on Friday sneaking out of her suite to eavesdrop on a couple by the pool: a tabloid publisher and his hot young wife. Why did Friday sneak out to look at them? There is no clear motivation. She heard the couple and decided to go listen to them. That’s it. The first page had us learning about Frida's frantic triple-checking of her apartment every night, but at this hotel, she's totally cool leaving at random to listen to people. Another couple of pages in the publisher threatens violence to his wife which causes Frida to remember her child abuse, and THAT could have made for good motivation, but before it’s just talking. And in this tense moment of hiding and possible violence, Friday starts describing the resort’s landscaping. It’s an odd mix to me, and I can’t wrap my head around whatMichallon’s aiming for here. Perhaps some quirky juxtaposition, perhaps some intentional delaying of relaying action to build tension, I don’t know. But as a writer, this structure doesn’t seem to fit. Writers may able to play aroundwith character motivation and structure a bit more after the story’s established itself, but in the first chapter, it is CRUCIAL readers see motivation and action sync up. And I just don’t see them syncing up here. I’ll see what other stories await in the library next month.
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
With my twins Biff and Bash up to their eyeballs in Dr. Who comics, books, and films, I couldn't help but pick a time-traveling story this month. After all, I grew up with the adventurers and time travelers; we even traveled through time ourselves to catch criminals like Carmen Sandiego!And it sounds like Ludington's protagonist Rabbit Ward has his own Carmen Sandiego to contend with. See, Rabbit Ward is an archaeologist who also travels back in time. He doesn't bring artifacts back with him, but he does try to ensure artifacts will be where present-day excavators can find them. It's a fun premise that promises plenty of misadventure, especially if there are competing time-travelers to contend with. That's an interesting twist Ludington shares on the second page of the novel: time machines are expensive, but not unique. This means different owners of those time machines may have their own motives for traveling through time...and chances are they are not all out to preserve antiquities like Rabbit Ward.Ludington's prose establishes the pacing of the story from the get-go with Rabbit Ward "crashing" back into the present, and that momentum never drops. Ludington takes care that the prose never slows that momentum, whether he's describing the time machine or sharing a flashback of Rabbit Ward in ancient Rome. If you've gotta go back in time, then Splinter Effect may be just the trip you need to double-back again.And what will we discover in the following story's pages? We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
The cover art for Lee's book immediately got my attention with its Mad Max style, and I loved the blurb promising "monsters, motorbikes, and magic." Who wouldn't? While the first five pages do clunk a bit as far as pacing goes, the action is overall solid, and the worldbuilding promises a fairly layered world whose history is closer to our present than we care to admit.
And what will we discover in the next story's five pages? We'll have to wait and see. x Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
Yowza, have I got a spooky one for you today. I initiallygrabbed Linwood Barclay’s Whistle because of the train. Turns out this is no ordinary train—it’s a toy train. FROM HELL. Dunh dunh DUUUUNH!
Goofy dramatics aside, Barclay does marvelous work in hisprologue when it comes to setting up the gift of this train set to a young boy over twenty years ago. The boy had wanted a video game console, but the father brought in a train set his coworker was getting rid of, thinking about the toys he loved when he was a kid. There’s a great little family dynamic here with the jerk of a big sister and the confused mom. Thank goodness for that confused mom, for it’s the interaction of the parents that drops the serious foreshadowing of tragedy and death that occurred not far away—in fact, the father’s coworker came from that very place, a place where his wife had somehow been electrocuted. But hey, a toy electric train! And I hated to end when the train caught Jeremy.
There is no other way to describe it. The boy went from upset and dismissive to obsessed in two pages. Barclay’s pacing here is spot-on, and I couldn’t help but peek ahead that the jerk of a big sister will need an ambulance as the train chuffs on…
So I know how I’m starting my summer reading. 😊
And what will we discover in the following story's pages? We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
Clearly, Pliego was stoked to take the iconic And Then There Were None premise and ratchet it up with a gathering of mystery authors on a mysterious island estate. Throughout the introduction written by the gathering’s organizer and the opening pages from an attendee’s perspective, readers can see a clear difference in voices, but neither voice comes off as a trustworthy narrator. I particularly love the introduction’s opening line: “If you were to take Story, strap it down onto your dining room table, and slide a scalpel through its chest, you would find the lifeblood is theme.” Such a line gives a very strong sense of what this…soul, I’ll say, will be like. The visual of taking a creature and strapping it down onto your dining room table is already quite an image, but it’s the scalpel that gets me. Not a butcher’s knife or a dagger, but a scalpel. That’s a very surgical, sanitary, clean but deadly tool. Yet this dining room setting is NOT clinical at all–such a juxtaposition says a lot about the person who puts these things together. And the fact that the scalpel goes straight into the chest–the lethal place, the bloodiest place. Such a start promises plenty of “beautiful madness” in the pages ahead.And what will we discover in the following story's pages?We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Thank goodness for Annelise Ryan. If you listen to the first few minutes of this episode, you'll catch a little rant about my almost-selection and the tired trend of titles with "Daughter" in them. Already in 2022, other folks were sharing just how rampant those titles are. (The blog Fictitiously Yours covers quite a few). You'd think we'd be done with them by now! But nope--of all the suspense-ish books on that New Release shelf, I almost picked Joseph Finder's The Oligarch's Daughter. And while this book has a prologue (UGH), I was happy to read it. The dust jacket warns of a fisherman mauled to death by a Hodag, and the prologue is focused on sharing that crime scene with us, along with the reveal of the creature. For my fellow writers, this prologue's a lovely example of pacing: solid, steady, strong pacing. We have two paragraphs establishing the crime scene's witness and the wintry morning, and one paragraph to set up the scream. Every paragraph after is a fine balance of active movement and sensory observation, especially when it comes to discovering the body. Ryan could have placed the Hodag right by the body, but nope--it's a few more paragraphs of hearing mysterious grunts and scrapes while our witness tries to figure out how to call for help. Of course the witness presumes a bear is nearby (understandably so!), so when the Hodag is revealed near the end of the prologue, we readers are just as aghast as the witness. If you're looking for an escape from the world today, you can't do much better than a snowy adventure in Wisconsin's North Woods, hunting a creature long thought to be a hoax. :)
And what will we discover in the following story's pages? We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
One can say a lot with a little, especially when you know your readers. Moore's opening line "The bed is empty" hits a nerve with anyone who has checked on loved ones sleeping, especially children. In the case of The God of the Woods, the opening focuses on counselor Louise discovering one of the campers, the child Barbara, is missing. The sections of opening text are tight scenes between her and another counselor, or her reflecting on the night before. Each section ends with a touch of a cliffhanger not unlike Lee Child's structure in his Jack Reacher novels, which I appreciate. Such sections ensure there's no time for off-topic information, for every second of a disappearance counts. The cliffhangers consistently allude to little things that deepen the severity of an already severe situation, too. Why wasn't the other counselor doing her job? Why would Louise cheat on her partner? Why is it even worse that the child Barbara is missing rather than any other child? We readers want answers, so we keep reading. For those ready to kick the hornet's nest of a past and run like hell, The God of the Woods may be just the mystery for you.
And what will we discover in the following story's pages?We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
As an avid Agatha Christie fan, I was immediately drawn to Fiona Davis’ The Stolen Queen. A mystery tied to Egyptian antiquities? Sign me up!
Yet by the end of five pages, I felt…eh. Not that there’s anything wrong with the writing. Fiona Davis efficiently uses her page space to establish the setting (the Met in NYC), the situation of an exciting newly discovered Egyptian temple coming to the Met, and one of the protagonists: a career-driven, knowledgeable, sweet-as-can-be Charlotte. Everyone likes working with her, and no one gives her any credit for helping them make the exhibit possible. The scene ends with Charlotte wistfully thinking of her own legacy and how her research about a forgotten Egyptian pharaoh should change her life at last.
It's a serviceable start, sure. The plot starts moving right away, and there are a couple allusions to 1930s Egypt, which is highlighted on the dust jacket, so we know that time and place will matter in the narrative. But I didn’t feel hooked. I felt like this was the start of a tv movie where we’re watching the quirky-but-cute woman with glasses passed over by everyone until a maaaagical thing happens. And I just can’t bring myself to wait for that thing.
And what will we discover in the following story's pages? We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
There’s a lot to be said for a strong setup. At first glance, I wasn’t all that keen on multiple quotes, then a prologue, then an exhibition note, and then an email. It felt like a series of post-it notes one had to sift through before finally opening the book.
However, Paula Hawkins was keen to establish certain storytelling elements before embarking on the official narrative. The poet Dylan Thomas is quoted about bones, for instance, and the exhibition note mentions a bone included in a character’s sculpture. The poem selected also notes that death cannot stop love, and the back of the book highlights that the artist character is—or was?—married to someone who was unfaithful to her. The email also highlights the bone of the sculpture, informing the art museum that the bone is not an animal bone as the sculpture’s description states, but a human bone. So there is some hard work on narrative set-up here, even without the prologue.
For I honestly wonder if we needed those two pages of the artist losing herself in the night’s waters. Sure, there is a note of looking for the husband and seeing him—or not?—but considering all the other indirect approaches we have here to the narrative, why not one more instead of the first-person prologue? A letter from a friend, for instance, supporting the artist in her time of loneliness, encouraging her to seek a divorce or something. Then all the materials before the official narrative would have that sly, backdoor quality to them, a collection of clues for the reader before we are ready to begin.
But that is merely this writer’s opinion. The premise for the story is sound, the mystery promising before Chapter 1 begins. If you ar in need of a good mystery to carry you through these short winter days, look no further than Paula Hawkins’ The Blue Hour.
And what will we discover in the following story's pages?We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
First, I have to apologize for goofing any Scottish language in this book, as it’s set in Scotland. I avoided attempting the accent, at least. 😊
That said, The Author’s Guide to Murder is the work of three authors: Beatriz Williams, Lauren Willig, and Karen White. The story is about—you’ve guessed it—three authors who are working on a book together when a murder happens at the castle they’re visiting. There’s a blurb on the dust jacket calling this a Murder, She Wrote kind of story with a flair of literary satire, and it shows. The prologue sets the grisly, bizarre crime scene with lots of detail thanks to the point of view of the protagonist, the Detective Chief Inspector in charge of the case. Thankfully, the prologue does not mean we’re dealing with some bait’n’switch; rather, the next chapter uses a dialogue format to show the police interviewing one of the women collaborating on a book. If the other authors are anything like the quirky Mrs. Pringle, I think readers are in for a treat here.
And what will we discover in the following story's pages?
We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
The opening pages of Kate Atkinson’s Death at the Sign of the Rook took me back to an Agatha Christie-style setup: the enigmatic invite to a lavish estate, Mother Nature’s elements cutting the cast off from civilization, and…well the protagonist Jackson Brodie is not Poirot, nor should he try to be.
This is my first Brodie novel, and I love that my very first interaction with him involves him wishing he could kill off the other guests on that estate. There’s a Poirot-ish character in the group, yup, and the second chapter even riffs on a Poirot novel title, but Brodie’s manners observations, and recollections are nothing like the fastidious Belgian detective—and that’s totally fine by me.
While Chapter 1 technically starts further on in time than Chapter 2, I don’t feel like Atkinson pulled any sort of bait’n’switch. The first couple of pages are low-stakes with the eclectic guests of the murder mystery party, and the next couple of pages focus on the detective Brodie investigating an art theft—an art theft that must eventually bring him to that same expensive party. Atkinson does lovely work using just a line or two of dialogue with a tag to give a glimpse of the characters, and it’s just enough to promise something ominous without being dramatic or shocking about it. Quite the master-work as far as openers go!
And what will we discover in the following story's pages?
We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various
stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an
audience!
This was a treat to read. I grew up on shows like MURDER, SHE WROTE, so to see the back of this book mention a J.B. Fletcher-like protagonist tackling "a demonic murderer with an ironic sense of humor," what is not to like? :)
Waggoner's narrative voice is light-hearted and playful, while the opening few pages are still quite thorough in providing characterization for protagonist Sherry Pinkwhistle without feeling like an information dump. There's even a touch of mystery about our crime-solving librarian: why did she fall out with her fellow magic-loving best friend so many years ago? The structure of the writing and Pinkwhistle's thoughts show readers that this is a little mystery about our main character before the main plot line even begins. It's just enough so these first five pages can delight as well as intrigue. I'm in!
And what will we discover in the following story's pages?
We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various
stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an
audience!
I’ve sampled two of T. Kingfisher’s past books on this podcast, and this third edition doesn’t disappoint, either. Huzzah! A Sorceress Comes to Call provides a slow burn for the magic balanced with a dark, relatable setting. Outsiders may only see a mother and her teen daughter attend church and go home, but as readers we listen to Cordelia’s thoughts and learn her mother is controlling her body, her voice—everything. Cordelia must be made “obedient” when out in the world, and Cordelia is growing more and more desperate to break free of her mother’s control. It’s a beautifully layered opening of the “normal” conflicts—rebellious teen in church, mother and daughter don’t get alone—with the fantastically not-normal—mother using magic to control daughter’s being. I’m not very familiar with the Brother Grimm’s “Goose Girl” on which this is based, and that actually makes me even more excited to keep reading as I won’t be able to predict where this goes.
And what will we discover in the next story's five pages?
We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
Welcome back, my fellow creatives!
Yup, I'm back to looking at the first five pages of various stories, for those five pages can make or break the engagement of a reader--or an agent. So, let's scope out the stories of others to see how they hook an audience!
The cover art for Lee's book immediately got my attention with its Mad Max style, and I loved the blurb promising "monsters, motorbikes, and magic." Who wouldn't? While the first five pages do clunk a bit as far as pacing goes, the action is overall solid, and the worldbuilding promises a fairly layered world whose history is closer to our present than we care to admit. If you're looking for a riotous adventure mixing dystopia with sorcery, Road to Ruin is the tale for you.
And what will we discover in the next story's five pages? We'll have to wait and see. xxxx
Read on, share on, and write on, my friends!
The first chapter can make or break a reader's engagement with a story. We as writers must craft brilliant opening pages to hook those picky readers, so let's study the stories of others to see how they do it! I find myself in a sequel with Jim Butcher's The Olympian Affair. Book 2 of The Cinder Series takes a smart approach: start with one character walking through a town with a destination in mind. When a writer takes this narrow focus, they not only give themselves a chance to reacquaint readers with a specific character, but to also re-establish the setting of the world, too. Granted, it's one town in a fantasy world, but it's enough to get a sense of what the world is like and how it operates.
Airships are the name of the game here, which is always a fun steampunk concept, and I love that spires take on a whole new meaning through this world. (The fencing swords on the cover are what drew me to pick this book up in the first place.) The writing itself has an interesting rhythm; Butcher deploys short, strong sentences amid long, active prose for those brief descriptors to pack a real punch--"The new vatteries stank."--is a personal favorite of mine. Sensory details like this mixed with banter between two airship captains made the opening pages an intriguing read. If you're ready to take off for a break from this world (I know I am) then I have a feeling Jim Butcher's Cinder Spires series would make for an excellent escape.
And what will you find in these first five pages? Let's find out! Cheers!
The first chapter can make or break a reader's engagement with a story. We as writers must craft brilliant opening pages to hook those picky readers, so let's study the stories of others to see how they do it! What a delightful find! Amy Pease’s debut Northwoods is yet another mystery set in Northern Wisconsin, but I promise you, this prose and establishing chapter promise some fun thrills in the future. Her first chapter is only two pages long, yet in those two little pages, we see our protagonist Eli down on his luck and himself, floating alone out on a lake in the middle of the night, sipping whiskey and reflecting on life. We’re not told he’s sad or depressed—we see it. Plus, the vivid sensory details of the night woods around him add to the isolation of the setting while also helping us feel Eli’s loneliness…that is, until something strange floats into his vicinity. At the end of that chapter he swims quickly ashore, unsettled, and reaches for his scanner. A couple of pages into the second chapter, we learn he’s not only in law enforcement, but a military veteran. So, if something in the water scared HIM, then we as readers can only imagine it wasn’t good.
Sure, I’m naturally a little biased for Wisconsin-set stories, but Pease does a marvelous job of balancing world-building information with active narrative. This keeps the story’s pace in motion while readers continue to learn about life in this little vacation spot in Wisconsin. For those seeking a little mystery outside the gritty city life, Amy Pease is sure to transport you into the dark, unknown wild of the North Woods.
And what will you find in these first five pages? Let's find out! Cheers!
The first chapter can make or break a reader's engagement with a story. We as writers must craft brilliant opening pages to hook those picky readers, so let's study the stories of others to see how they do it!
The first chapter of Her Last Breath is a mixed bag. On the one hand, the build-up of the prostitute Erika being propositioned and then murdered by an unknown man in an SUV is paced fairly well with strong sensory details. We can see and feel the tension of the moment between the man calling to Erika and promising a big payout and Erika choosing to ride home with this man. Plus there is a logistical reason for Erika to accept a ride from this wealthy stranger--she's miles away from the city and needs a ride back. That isolation, even with a decaying resort motel in the background, helps readers feel the character's helplessness. How else can she get home? There are some struggles here as well, though, and these are struggles many of us writers face. We know we've got to establish the setting of our story, and establish it fast. However, we've got to think about what details the readers need here and now vs. what can wait. While the first paragraph introduces us to the prostitute cleaning up after a job at a motel, the second paragraph takes us through the history of that motel...and then we get back to the prostitute cleaning up again. It's an odd moment to hear a lot of information about the place, especially when she's going to leave it. Rundown motels outside of cities is not uncommon, so it would not have hurt to keep this initial context a bit more general so the plot's momentum can pick up speed instead. After all, a detective investigating a murder has all sorts of opportunities to learn the histories of locations--why not wait until then? These are the kinds of world-building choices we writers have to watch for. As tempting as it is to dive into the setting's history right away, do readers need it right away? Probably not. It never hurts to break that information up, and drop little bits when the needs arise for characters to learn it. And what will you find in these first five pages? Let's find out! Cheers!