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You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
Ellyn Schinke
15 episodes
4 days ago
You’re Too Picky is the dating podcast for high-standard women who are done settling and over the bare minimum. Hosted by burnout coach and serially single millennial Ellyn Schinke, we’re talking dating apps, red flags, emotional labor, and the wild world of intentional dating. Come for the rants, stay for the solidarity. This isn’t a fixer podcast—it’s a f*ck it, let’s talk about it podcast.
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All content for You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women is the property of Ellyn Schinke and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
You’re Too Picky is the dating podcast for high-standard women who are done settling and over the bare minimum. Hosted by burnout coach and serially single millennial Ellyn Schinke, we’re talking dating apps, red flags, emotional labor, and the wild world of intentional dating. Come for the rants, stay for the solidarity. This isn’t a fixer podcast—it’s a f*ck it, let’s talk about it podcast.
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Relationships
Society & Culture
Episodes (15/15)
You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
014 | PLOT TWIST - This isn't Good-bye!

Hey friends—real talk? I haven’t dropped a You’re Too Picky episode in over a month. Between summer slowdown and my own capacity hitting a wall, something had to give.

This little chaotic dating podcast has been such a fun ride... but I’ve realized I can’t keep running two separate shows. So we’re evolving.


Starting now, You’re Too Picky will live on as a bonus dating series inside my other show, Burnout-Proof. Same vibe, same voice, just one home that’s easier to maintain—and honestly? Makes way more sense for my life right now.


Don’t worry: the archives are staying up, and I’ll keep dropping new “Too Picky” episodes when I’ve got dating chaos worth ranting about. But for now? Follow me over on Burnout-Proof and keep an eye out for episodes labeled You're Too Picky.


We’re still dating while ambitious. Still burnout-prone. Still hot messes. We’re just doing it smarter.


👉 Follow me on Instagram: @coachellyn
🎧 Listen + subscribe to Burnout-Proof: https://www.coachellyn.com/burnout-podcast
📬 Submit your dating fails, red flag debates, or stories: coachellyn.com/picky/submissions

Stay picky, babes. I’ll see you over there. 💅

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1 month ago
2 minutes 45 seconds

You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
013 - Teasing is Earned. It isn't a First Date Free-For-All

Ever had someone start teasing you on a first date—and it didn’t land?

Yeah, me too.

This week, I’m diving into the weird little world of early relationship ribbing. Because I don’t care how many dating podcasts say "banter is flirting"—if I just met you, and you're already poking fun at my tattoos or my career? We're not flirting. You're being disrespectful.

Follow me on IG ⁠⁠@youretoopicky⁠⁠ and share your own stories: ⁠⁠⁠Submit anonymously here⁠⁠⁠.


In this episode, I talk about:

  • The "8 Mile effect" and why we call ourselves out before others can

  • The difference between playful teasing and crossing a boundary

  • Why I actually think early ribbing is a red flag

And if being "too picky" means you don’t give strangers permission to make fun of you? Then yeah. I’ll own that.


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2 months ago
12 minutes 22 seconds

You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
012 - Not Overwhelmed. Not Underwhelmed. Just WHELMED - My 10 Things I Hate About Date.

What do you do when a date isn’t bad… but isn’t great either? In this week’s episode of the You’re Too Picky podcast, I break down a date that was the definition of “meh.” No sparks, no drama—just two hours of pizza, coffee, and a guy who could only talk about food.

Follow me on IG ⁠@youretoopicky⁠ and share your own stories: ⁠⁠Submit anonymously here⁠⁠.

We're talking:

  • The fine line between giving someone a chance and wasting your time

  • Why “not bad” isn’t the same as worth seeing again

  • How to handle dates where the vibe is just… flat

  • Why you don’t owe anyone a second shot just because they paid for lunch


If you’ve ever felt guilty for not giving someone a second chance just because they were nice, this one’s for you.


🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your fix.


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2 months ago
12 minutes 46 seconds

You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
011 - The Weirdest Niche Dating Apps You Didn't Know Existed

In this episode of You're Too Picky, I'm taking you on a wild ride through the most bizarre and hyper-specific dating apps and groups I could find across North America. Think ghost dating, clown dating, conspiracy-theorist matchmaking, and apps based on your salad order. I'm serious.

We're talking:

  • The apps for those who are literally ride or die (hello, Ghost Singles)

  • What happens when your beard becomes your dating profile

  • Niche apps that are either genius or absolutely unhinged (maybe both?)

  • How identity, lifestyle, food, and even fetishes turn into full-on dating platforms


You’ll laugh, cringe, and probably question your entire online dating strategy by the end of this one. But also... it proves there really is someone out there for everyone.

Follow me on IG @youretoopicky and share your own stories: ⁠Submit anonymously here⁠.


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2 months ago
24 minutes 20 seconds

You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
010 - Felon Love, Hung Like Eeyore, and Cruise Ship Love Bombing — One Listener's Wild Dating Files

Buckle up, because this week’s episode is basically a dating fever dream—and it all came from ONE listener’s DMs. (Girl, you know who you are 👀)

Ellyn dives into a buffet of dating shenanigans courtesy of one brave soul who submitted everything from questionable Facebook ads to cruise ship heartbreak. Segments today include:

  • 🚩 Red Flag or Nah? — He ghosted her after the second date… then matched again a year later. Sir, do you not own a brain cell?

  • 💀 Dating App Fails — When your opening line backfires spectacularly and you don’t even realize you’ve dated her before.

  • 🤨 WTF Dating App Moment — “I’m like Eeyore. Clinically depressed…and hung like a donkey.” We have questions. And also, applause??

  • 📞 Too Picky Hotline — The cruise ship love story that had her falling in a week… and crying the next. Love bombing? AI-generated texts? Erectile dysfunction? It’s all here.

PLUS: Ellyn shares her own Notion-based dating dashboard and a few hard-earned lessons about second chances and why reconnecting with old matches is usually a trap.

You’re not too picky—you just have standards. And if those standards include working penises and not being love bombed on a boat, you’re in the right place.


🎧 Listen in, laugh hard, and send your chaos to: https://www.youretoopicky.com/submissions

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2 months ago
16 minutes 15 seconds

You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
009 - Stage 3 Clinger or Just Patriotic? The Saga of Fourth of July Guy

In this episode of the You're Too Picky podcast, I’m throwing it back to exactly one year ago when I met a guy on the 4th of July—and it somehow turned into four months of lukewarm texting, weird memes, and “are you free right now?” phone calls.

This guy? Not quite a stage 5 clinger. More like a solid stage 3. But it got weird. From Insta-stalking my stories to texting me at 5:45 AM with “we should do attractive things,” it was a slow, cringe-filled spiral that ended with him texting me TWO months after I said I wasn’t interested. Bro. Take the L.

In this episode I talk about:

  • The moment I realized I didn’t owe this guy anything

  • How not being into someone is enough reason to move on

  • Why “drop everything and hang out with me” is not a love language

  • When ghosting becomes self-preservation

If you’ve ever been quiet-quit someone who wouldn’t quit you, you’ll feel this one.

Follow me on IG @youretoopicky and share your own stories: Submit anonymously here.


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3 months ago
16 minutes 12 seconds

You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
008 - My Mom is Setting Me Up. Rock Bottom?

In this episode of the You're Too Picky Podcast, I'm talking about a wild (or just interesting...?) update: my MOM wants to set me up on a blind date.

Is this what hitting dating rock bottom looks like—or is it the start of a Hallmark movie arc? I'm spilling the tea on the text that started it all, her mixed feelings about community matchmaking, and why she's both mortified and lowkey into it.

But that’s not all.

This week’s segments are unhinged in the best way:

  • Red Flag or Not: Pet names like "babe" before date two? Sweet or sketch?

  • WTF Dating App Moment: When a convo about her business got real gross, real fast (OnlyFans guy, we’re looking at you).

  • Dating App Fail of the Week: A Hinge profile with ZERO face pics, just blurry mountain shots and some truly unhinged prompts. Are we dating or booking a national park tour?

Share your stories and vote on this week’s Red Flag or Not: Submit anonymously here — we might feature yours on a future episode!

Follow Ellyn on Instagram @youretoopicky and don't forget: new episodes every Friday.


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3 months ago
14 minutes 21 seconds

You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
007 - Single in Israel, Single in the States. (ft. Michal Kaye)

Welcome back to the You’re Too Picky Podcast— helping you date, not settle.

I'm sitting down with my friend Michal Kaye, a single Jewish woman living in Israel, to unpack what dating looks like across generations, cultures, and belief systems—yet feels remarkably the same.


📲 Follow the pod on IG: ⁠@youretoopicky⁠

📩 Submit your story or rant: ⁠youretoopicky.com/submit⁠

🎤 Leave a voice note to be featured: Tap the “Hotline” tab on the site

📸 Tag and share your fave line: ⁠@youretoopicky⁠ + ⁠@coachellyn


Timestamps & Highlights:

  • 00:00–04:00 – Meet Michal & Ellyn: Gen X vs Millennial perspectives on dating

  • 04:00–10:00 – Orthodox vs non-Orthodox—how religion shapes expectations

  • 10:00–18:00 – Dating app rituals, first-date red flags, and spiritual sabbath deal breakers

  • 18:00–25:00 – When dating feels like matchmaking—values, magnetism & metrics

  • 25:00–32:00 – Is it fair to ask him to ask about your business? How much curiosity & respect matter

  • 32:00–40:00 – Boundaries, attachment styles & the games we unknowingly play

  • 40:00–47:00 – Michal’s “flow vs control” approach and why letting go helps

  • 47:00–55:00 – Business owner boundaries meet dating life: what’s public, what’s private

  • 55:00–1:00:00 – Relationships are run like brands: What boundaries & self-care look like


Why You’ll Love This:

  • A rare cross-generational perspective on dating dynamics

  • Real talk on Jewish dating traditions, values, and sabbath deal-breakers

  • Insight on honoring both professional AND personal life in relationship conversations

  • Practical tips on spotting red flags, staying grounded, and pursuing healthy attachment


Resources Mentioned:

  • Dating coach check-ins & boundary-building

  • Michal’s value-list breakdown (friends, family, faith, flow, fun)

  • Ellyn’s framework for red-flag detection

  • 💌 Submit your dating stories & questions here for future group episodes


Ready to do better than “WTF Dating”?

📲 Follow the pod on IG: ⁠⁠@youretoopicky⁠⁠

📩 Submit your story or rant: ⁠⁠youretoopicky.com/submit⁠⁠

🎤 Leave a voice note to be featured: Tap the “Hotline” tab on the site

📸 Tag and share your fave line: ⁠⁠@youretoopicky⁠⁠ + ⁠⁠@coachellyn⁠


Stay picky, stay powerful—see you next Friday.


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3 months ago
1 hour 20 minutes 10 seconds

You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
006 - Pay-to-Play Love? Dating Apps, I’m Looking at You

Someone recently said, “It’s not the apps—it’s the people on them.”

My response? Nah. It’s the apps.

And this episode is the full rant you’ve been waiting for.

Today, we’re breaking down exactly how dating apps have gone from cute convenience to full-blown pay-to-play chaos—and why that shift is making it way harder to find anything real.

💸 We’re talking:

  • Gamification, swiping limits, and “roses” that cost real money

  • Why love now has an algorithm you have to beat

  • How we’ve monetized not just the apps—but being on them

  • The dating coach industrial complex (no shade, but also… c’mon)

This isn’t about being bitter. It’s about naming the bullshit that’s draining your time, your wallet, and your emotional energy.


📲 Follow the pod on IG: @youretoopicky📩 Submit your story or rant: youretoopicky.com/submit🎤 Leave a voice note to be featured: Tap the “Hotline” tab on the site

📸 Tag and share your fave line: @youretoopicky + @coachellyn


If being picky means expecting more than a subscription and a swipe to find something real?


Then yeah—I’ll stay picky. And I hope you do too.


New episodes every Friday.

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3 months ago
10 minutes 17 seconds

You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
005 - That Weird Feeling? It’s Your Intuition, Babe.

Ever walked away from a “perfectly nice” date and still felt off about it? That’s not you being dramatic—it’s your intuition doing its job.

In this episode, we’re diving into the subtle (and not-so-subtle) moments when your gut speaks up and what it actually looks like to listen.

🔮 Here’s what we’re getting into:

  • The Planner Guy who expected me to plan the date… because I said I liked calendars?

    • Why trusting your dating gut isn’t judgment—it’s clarity

    • That one date that was fun… but just not it (aka, Disc Golf Guy)

    • The man who turned “what are you into?” into a full fantasy checklist (including talons and lawn maintenance 🫠)

    • The difference between curiosity and objectification

    • Three questions to help you gut-check any interaction


📲 Follow the pod on IG: @youretoopicky


💬 Submit your stories for future segments like Red Flag or Nah, Too Picky Hotline, and WTF Dating App Moment at coachellyn.com/submissions


📸 Tag & share your fave line: @youretoopicky + @coachellyn


If listening to your intuition is “picky,” I’ll take it.
New episodes every Friday. See you next week.

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3 months ago
18 minutes 13 seconds

You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
004 - Dating From a Burned Out Place (It’s Not Just You)

Feeling like dating is a second job you never applied for? You're not imagining it. In this crossover episode pulled from Ellyn’s Burnout Proof podcast, we’re diving deep into what it means to date from a place of exhaustion, disillusionment, and straight-up emotional whiplash.


This one’s for the single women who are done pretending dating apps are fun. If you’ve ever forced yourself to swipe when you knew you weren’t in the headspace… if you've jumped into something because you were lonely and then ignored your gut… if you've lost hope after too many “almosts”—this episode will feel like a warm hug and a wake-up call.


🔥 In This Episode:

  • Why “hope fatigue” is the realest part of modern dating

  • What dating from burnout actually looks and feels like

  • The emotional toll of gamified apps, ghosting, and superficial swipes

  • How Ellyn’s learning to take breaks, protect her energy, and trust her gut (finally)

    • Why “doing more” isn’t the answer—and what she’s doing instead


    📌 Links + Resources:

  • 🎯 Submit your own dating fails, red flag-or-nah moments, or WTF dating app stories...

  • 💬 DM Ellyn: @youretoopicky or @coachellyn

  • 🔥 Related Episode: When Relationships Burn You Out (2023 Valentine’s Day episode)

    And if you want to check out the Burnout-Proof podcast, click here.



    💬 Let’s Be Real:

  • If being “too picky” means protecting your peace and refusing to date from depletion… then yeah, stay picky.

    New episodes drop every Friday. Share this one with a fellow dating app dropout or your friend who’s one bad date away from deleting Hinge for good.


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    4 months ago
    18 minutes 9 seconds

    You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
    003 - Male Loneliness Epidemic, My Ass.

    This one’s fresh off a 2000s dance party—and I’ve got a hot take for the men still standing on the sidelines. If you've ever looked around the club and thought, “Why do all these men look like they were dragged here against their will?”—same, babe.

    In this episode, we’re calling B.S. on the so-called male loneliness epidemic and unpacking what women are actually tired of: doing all the emotional labor while men lurk in the shadows with zero effort and even less energy.

    🔥 We’re talking:

    • Why effort > rhythm

    • Why “I’m just not a dancer” isn’t an excuse for being boring

    • Why the problem isn’t loneliness—it’s entitlement without effort

    You want connection? Then get out of the corner. Smile. Engage. Try.
    Because we’re done dragging grown men to the dance floor.

    📲 Follow the pod on IG: @youretoopicky
    📩 Got a story, rant, or app fail? Submit it here: youretoopicky.com/submit
    🎤 Too Picky Hotline (voice notes + chaos welcome): Same link!
    📸 Tag me when you listen: @coachellyn + @youretoopicky

    If being picky means expecting effort and basic social energy, I’ll stay picky.

    Show more...
    4 months ago
    7 minutes 49 seconds

    You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
    002 - I'm 36...And Starting a Dating Podcast? Oh Boy.

    Why would a 36-year-old high-achieving solopreneur—who’s definitely still single—start a dating and relationships podcast? In this very first episode of You're Too Picky, Ellyn gets radically honest about her own dating history, insecurities, and the real reasons she's launching this pod.

    From body image battles and shame around sex to a decade of workaholism and app burnout, this is the unfiltered backstory to why dating’s been on the back burner… and why that’s finally changing.

    This isn’t expert advice. It’s real, relatable, and refreshingly honest storytelling for every woman who’s been told she’s “too picky,” “too independent,” or “too much.”


    🔥 In This Episode:

    • Why being the “single friend” became part of Ellyn’s identity

    • Dating with body shame and a toxic relationship with sex

    • How hustle culture and burnout sabotaged her dating life

    • Why dating apps drain her introvert battery—and what she’s trying instead

    • The reframes she’s using to fall in love with dating again

    • What this podcast is really about (hint: it’s not just dating)

    🧭 This Podcast Is For You If:

  • -You’ve been single a long time and you're tired of the shame about it

  • -You’re sick of dating advice that treats love like a numbers game

  • -You want to hear real stories from a single, high-achieving woman who gets it

  • -You're craving community with other smart, funny, burnt-out daters


    💌 Let’s Connect:

  • 📥 Submit your story or apply to be a guest. Click Here >>

  • 💬 DM Ellyn: @youretoopicky

  • 🧠 Want more on burnout? Follow @coachellyn + check out the Burnout Proof Podcast

  • Show more...
    4 months ago
    18 minutes 58 seconds

    You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
    001 - Are You Too Picky?

    Welcome to the very first episode of the You’re Too Picky podcast—the dating podcast for women who are done pretending their standards are the problem.

    In this kickoff episode, your host Ellyn (coach, creator, and certified dating app survivor) breaks down the myth of being "too picky"—what it really means, who gets to say it, and why that label might actually be a badge of honor.


    We’re talking:

    • Why “too picky” is usually code for “you won’t settle”

    • The difference between clarity and control

    • When high standards are rooted in self-worth—and when they might be fear in disguise

    • Sneak peeks at upcoming segments like “Red Flag or Nah?”, the “Too Picky Hotline,” and “Dating App Fails”

    • Why this isn’t a fixer podcast—and why that’s exactly the point


    If you’ve ever ghosted someone for weird shoes (hi, same), questioned your standards, or felt like no one around you gets it—this podcast is your new favorite group chat.


    📩 Submit your dating stories: https://www.coachellyn.com/submissions
    📲 Follow us on Instagram @youretoopicky
    🎧 New episodes drop every Friday—come be picky with us.

    Show more...
    4 months ago
    9 minutes 28 seconds

    You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
    Trailer | You’re Too Picky — The Dating Podcast for Women Who Know What They Want

    Welcome to You’re Too Picky 🥂✨ — the dating podcast for women who are tired of shrinking themselves to find love.

    Hosted by Ellyn Schinke, this show is where we laugh at the chaos of modern dating, roast bad dating app bios, debate "red flag or nah," and call BS on the idea that having standards is a flaw.

    🎙️ New episodes drop every Friday — because dating apps are unhinged, but we’re not.

    Come for the rants. Stay for the solidarity. 🩷

    👉 Follow along:
    Main Instagram: instagram.com/coachellyn
    Podcast Instagram: instagram.com/youretoopicky

    ✨ Join the club + get early access at youretoopicky.com 🥂


    Show more...
    5 months ago
    1 minute 27 seconds

    You're Too Picky | Dating, Relationships, Millennial Women
    You’re Too Picky is the dating podcast for high-standard women who are done settling and over the bare minimum. Hosted by burnout coach and serially single millennial Ellyn Schinke, we’re talking dating apps, red flags, emotional labor, and the wild world of intentional dating. Come for the rants, stay for the solidarity. This isn’t a fixer podcast—it’s a f*ck it, let’s talk about it podcast.