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You Are Not Crazy
Jessica Knight
198 episodes
4 days ago
If you’ve ever felt like you were stuck in a relationship that kept repeating the same painful patterns—no matter how much you tried to fix it—this episode is for you. In this episode, learn how the cycle of abuse plays out in emotionally abusive relationships—not as a clean four-part theory, but as a lived, messy, repetitive trap that keeps survivors hooked through false hope and temporary calm. You’ll learn: How to identify your specific version of the abuse cycleWhy tension, incident, reco...
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Relationships
Education,
Society & Culture,
Self-Improvement,
Health & Fitness,
Mental Health
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All content for You Are Not Crazy is the property of Jessica Knight and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
If you’ve ever felt like you were stuck in a relationship that kept repeating the same painful patterns—no matter how much you tried to fix it—this episode is for you. In this episode, learn how the cycle of abuse plays out in emotionally abusive relationships—not as a clean four-part theory, but as a lived, messy, repetitive trap that keeps survivors hooked through false hope and temporary calm. You’ll learn: How to identify your specific version of the abuse cycleWhy tension, incident, reco...
Show more...
Relationships
Education,
Society & Culture,
Self-Improvement,
Health & Fitness,
Mental Health
Episodes (20/198)
You Are Not Crazy
Healing a Trauma Bond: The Power You Still Have
Trauma Bonding—a term that’s often misunderstood and sometimes avoided because naming it means facing the abuse beneath it. In this episode, I break down what a trauma bond is (and isn’t), why it’s more than “shared trauma,” and how it functions as an emotional and physical addiction. Then, we talk about something that might feel uncomfortable: the places where you do have control once you’ve recognized you’re trauma bonded. I cover: The truth about intermittent reinforcement and why it keeps...
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6 days ago
17 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
Whose Shame Are You Carrying? How Abusers Offload Pain to Avoid Accountability
This episode explores one of the most insidious aspects of emotional abuse: shame offloading. When someone can’t face their own emotional wounds—whether it’s failure, inadequacy, or internal contradictions—they often project that pain onto the person closest to them. You become the emotional scapegoat, the one who’s blamed, punished, or humiliated—not because you did something wrong, but because they can’t sit with their own discomfort. I walk through how this dynamic shows up in ...
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1 week ago
26 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
Why Abusers Believe Their Own Lies with Paul Colaianni
Why do emotionally abusive people double down on false narratives, deny reality, and convince themselves they’re the victim—even when they’re causing visible harm? I'm joined by Paul Colaianni, host of The Overwhelmed Brain and Love and Abuse podcasts and creator of The Healed Being program, one of the few resources for people who have been emotionally abusive and genuinely want to change. We unpack one of the most confusing dynamics in abusive relationships: the distorted thinking that abuse...
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2 weeks ago
1 hour 11 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
When You’re Not Allowed to Be Human: A Journal Entry from Inside the Cycle of Abuse
This episode takes you inside the lived experience of emotional abuse. The story captures how emotional dysregulation, boundary violations, and false repair cycles can slowly erode a person’s sense of self. We discuss how the classic cycle of abuse—tension, explosion, and reconciliation—can unfold in covert ways, leaving the survivor walking on eggshells, questioning their reality, and constantly managing someone else’s emotional state at the expense of their own. This is not a story of screa...
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3 weeks ago
20 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
The Abuse That Didn’t Look Like Abuse
There’s a version of abuse that presents as calm and reasonable. It doesn’t look chaotic, and at first, it doesn’t even feel that way. It feels quiet and measured. It sounds like someone who wants to work through things. Someone who seems thoughtful and emotionally attuned. Under the surface, there’s control, pressure, and a constant pull to make you question whether your reactions are valid, whether your needs are too much, and whether you’re the one creating the problem. In this episode, I ...
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1 month ago
11 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
The Manipulation I Didn’t See—Until I Did
In this episode, I share the story that shaped everything: how I ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship, how I stayed, and how I finally saw it for what it was. This is the manipulation I didn’t see—until I did. I talk about the slow unraveling of my reality, the gaslighting, the shame, the trauma bond, and the hope that kept me stuck. I explain how I lost myself piece by piece, how I started to map the cycle, and what it took to finally break free. If you’ve ever felt confused, blam...
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1 month ago
22 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
Mapping Your Specific Cycle of Abuse
If you’ve ever felt like you were stuck in a relationship that kept repeating the same painful patterns—no matter how much you tried to fix it—this episode is for you. In this episode, learn how the cycle of abuse plays out in emotionally abusive relationships—not as a clean four-part theory, but as a lived, messy, repetitive trap that keeps survivors hooked through false hope and temporary calm. You’ll learn: How to identify your specific version of the abuse cycleWhy tension, incident, reco...
Show more...
1 month ago
35 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
Can a Narcissist Actually Change?
This is one of the most common—and most heartbreaking—questions I hear: Can a narcissist change? In this episode of You Are Not Crazy, I’m walking you through the reality behind that question. The short answer? Maybe—but almost never. Real change requires emotional accountability, humility, and deep psychological work… and most narcissists aren’t willing to do that. Not because they can’t—but because they don’t see the need. In this episode, we explore why narcissistic change is so rare, how ...
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1 month ago
13 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
Why It Hurts So Much (Even After Everything)
When you're breaking a trauma bond or coming to terms with the end of a manipulative relationship, it doesn’t just bruise you—it shatters something inside. This kind of grief defies logic. You’re not just mourning a relationship. You’re grieving the version of you who believed in it, the future you imagined, and the love you gave so fully. I walk through what this heartbreak really is—and what it isn’t. It’s not weakness. It’s not over-sensitivity. It’s a nervous system crash after prolonged ...
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2 months ago
8 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
Why They Couldn’t Love You: Understanding Emotional Capacity in Toxic Relationships
What happens when the person you fought so hard to love turns out to be incapable of loving you back? What do you do with the grief, the self-doubt, and the tidal wave of confusion that follows? In this raw and deeply personal episode, I unpack what it means to love someone with traits of Cluster B personality disorders—specifically, narcissistic and borderline features—and why walking away doesn’t bring immediate peace. I share the story of how my relationship ended, the impossible ultimatum...
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2 months ago
18 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
Understanding the Trauma Bond
We dive into the Trauma Bond: how it forms, why it's so hard to leave, and what recovery really looks like. This isn't just about red flags or textbook definitions. This is about the lived experience—the confusion, the craving for relief, the grief that shows up even when you finally leave. I walk through the invisible hooks that keep survivors attached: intermittent reinforcement, emotional manipulation disguised as love, and the powerful conditioning that teaches us to find safety in what's...
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2 months ago
36 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
The Outburst That Isn’t About You: Emotional Storms and BPD Traits
What do you do when the person you love explodes—and it has nothing to do with you, but you’re the one absorbing the damage? In today’s episode, I’m talking about a very specific and disorienting experience: the emotional outbursts that often come from people with traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). These episodes are not “just” arguments. They’re dysregulated storms—sudden, intense, and often terrifying—that leave you feeling blamed, spun, and emotionally shredded. I break down ...
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2 months ago
11 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
They're Just Avoiding Accountability
In this episode, I unpack how abusers flip the script by dredging up unrelated past events, twisting reality, and using guilt as a weapon to derail accountability. If you've ever found yourself defending a mistake from five years ago while trying to talk about how you're hurting now, this episode is for you. You’ll learn: The difference between naming a pattern and playing the blame gameHow false equivalency and DARVO keep survivors stuckWhat a healthy vs. abusive response to feedback actuall...
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2 months ago
9 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
The Cumulative Effect: Why It Wasn’t “Just One Thing”
I explore one of the most disorienting realities of surviving an emotionally abusive relationship: the way each incident is treated like it exists in isolation—when in reality, it all added up. I share my personal experience of slowly realizing that what felt like “stress” was actually a sustained pattern of emotional harm. I walk through the subtle signs—like anxiety, insomnia, self-doubt, and emotional shutdown—that build up over time and keep survivors stuck in cycles of self-blame a...
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3 months ago
11 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
When Betrayal Breaks Your Sense of Self
I share the story of a client—“Amanda”—who experienced a devastating betrayal that shattered not only her relationship but her trust in herself. What began as a hopeful, grounded connection turned into a traumatic discovery of infidelity and deception. Jessica walks through the emotional aftermath: the gaslighting, the physical symptoms of grief, the shame survivors often carry, and the slow, painful realization that you're not just grieving a person—you’re grieving the version of yourself wh...
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3 months ago
12 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
Emotional Abuse Breakthrough Course: Why It Matters and How It Can Help
I’m doing something a little different — I’m walking you through my Emotional Abuse Breakthrough Course: what it is, why it matters, and how it can help if you’re stuck questioning your reality. I share the story of how I realized I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, how confusing and stuck I felt inside the trauma bond, and the turning points that helped me start to break free. I also talk about why simply recognizing abuse isn’t enough — and how you need validation, boundaries, and...
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3 months ago
16 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
He Controlled the Money — Now What? with Victoria Kirilloff
Vctoria Kirilloff, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and founder of Divorce Analytics, brings her sharp expertise, and personal experience leaving an abusive relationship, to help listeners navigate the financial side of divorce with clarity and strategy. Together, we break down: How to start gathering financial information even if you feel completely in the darkWhy documenting financial coercion can become one of your strongest tools in family courtWhat a "global settlement proposal" is an...
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3 months ago
50 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
Breaking Free from a Pathological Partner with Dr. Nae
I’m joined by Dr. Nae, trauma bond expert, author of Run Like Hell, and former wife of Jordan Belfort—better known as the Wolf of Wall Street. Dr. Nae shares her story of surviving a deeply toxic and pathological relationship, what it took to finally leave, and how she transformed her experience into a mission to help others heal from narcissistic abuse and coercive control. We talk about: The difference between flawed partners and pathological onesWhat it actually means to be trauma bondedTh...
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4 months ago
37 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
When Gaslighting Silences Your Inner Voice
This episode explores how gaslighting works, highlights red flags such as constant self-doubt and the need to over-apologize, and shares practical strategies for reclaiming your sense of reality. I also unpack the manipulative DARVO tactic—where abusers deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender roles—to help you recognize when your intuition is under siege. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jes...
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4 months ago
8 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
Choosing Yourself Isn’t Selfish—It’s Necessary
You are allowed to be a whole person—not just a performance for someone else. If you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, you may have been taught to compromise your needs, silence your instincts, and tie your worth to someone else's happiness. In this episode, I discuss how societal expectations and manipulative dynamics teach us to ignore ourselves—and how to begin reclaiming your autonomy, boundaries, and emotional safety. This is your permission slip to say no, to trust your in...
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4 months ago
7 minutes

You Are Not Crazy
If you’ve ever felt like you were stuck in a relationship that kept repeating the same painful patterns—no matter how much you tried to fix it—this episode is for you. In this episode, learn how the cycle of abuse plays out in emotionally abusive relationships—not as a clean four-part theory, but as a lived, messy, repetitive trap that keeps survivors hooked through false hope and temporary calm. You’ll learn: How to identify your specific version of the abuse cycleWhy tension, incident, reco...