You loved them deeply. You gave, forgave, prayed, and tried harder. So why did they still betray you?
In this episode, Melissa unpacks the painful myth that “if I were enough, they wouldn’t have cheated.” You’ll learn why betrayal isn’t a reflection of your worth or love, but of their disconnection from themselves. We’ll talk about what drives destructive choices, how unhealed shame and avoidance hijack connection, and why you can’t out-love someone’s unwillingness to face their truth.
This conversation will help you release the false responsibility, reclaim your dignity, and start healing from the lie that your love failed.
Avoidance might feel safer, but it keeps us stuck. In this episode, Melissa explores the hidden benefits of facing and feeling reality—especially when it comes to betrayal and emotional pain. You’ll discover how turning toward discomfort actually reduces long-term suffering, why numbing or bypassing backfires, and how courageously naming your feelings reconnects you to your own strength. This conversation will help you see that healing doesn’t come from escaping reality—it comes from entering it fully, with compassion and truth.
Out of the Wreckage: A Healing Course for Betrayed Partners
https://checkout.square.site/merchant/D0ACJQ310GMSW/checkout/BJGNTWALV34BEG6ZXYM6XZ36
Join me today as Dr. Debi Silber and I discuss Post Betrayal Transformation.
Dr. Debi Silber, Founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day (celebrated annually on September 1st), is an award winning speaker, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she’s dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.
We can't heal what we don't feel and we can't heal what we don't face.
Listen as I share what stops your healing and how to get to where you can face reality and heal.
Contact me at: https://identitylife.coach/contact
Subconscious loyalty involves feeling a strong need to protect our parents, whether it's their image or our feelings about them. Ultimately, this can hinder your healing.
The root of our pain is surprising to many. That's because. facing and feeling reality isn't something we feel capable of. So whatever is causing the pain now (like betrayal or any other pain) we find ourselves focusing on that and not getting relief.
Join me today as I share more and how to finally get relief from the trauma once and for all.
Many partners of sexual addicts (or any addiction) believe that if they were enough their addicted partner would stop their addictive behaviors.
In this episode, I will discuss WHY you can't be enough and what you need to do instead.
Many of us didn't have the security in our upbringing to just be and be ok. Our parents (for most of us) didn't have the tools, skills or understanding of what children needed.
When our parents don't help us see the world in a connected healthy way, we have no other option but to split off from the shame we feel because of it.
Join me as I share a little more about this from the perspective of parts work and how we can get on the healing journey.
Take a listen as I give real practical understanding of what could be stalling your healing and how to change it.
Want to get coaching with me?
Ever wonder why you keep dealing with the same issues in your marriage?
Here's some common reasons that you may not have known.
Want couples coaching that's transformative?
Go here: https://identitylife.coach/contact
Do you ever wonder why you have internal conflict? Does it seem like one part of you wants to do one thing and another part wants to do another?
Do you find yourself doing things that you hate and aspects of yourself that you hide from others?
Then this podcast today is for you. Join me as I talk about different parts of us, how these parts get exasperated and how to heal so we don't continue to do things we don't like.
Want to get coaching with me?
Today's special guest, Blaine Bartel shares his very HONEST and vulnerable story of a life involving secrecy, porn addiction to affairs.
While Blaine's story is heart breaking, his comeback story (after being told his likelihood to recover would be a shear miracle) is what has transformed the lives of many men, including my husband.
You'll hear not only Blaine's story but also, how Blaine was the first beacon of hope for us when my husband was in his darkest hours in his addiction.
To get help through Blaine's ministry and to learn more, go to: https://www.blainebartel.com/houseofresurrection
https://www.blainebartel.com/houseofresurrection
Interested in my coaching? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/
It's a common thing I hear from people that because we are adults, we should act and think differently than what we were raised with.
The problem with this thinking is that it goes against how we are designed. We are designed to carry our parents with us internally. For security and safety. However, not everyone had a safe and secure childhood. The results remain the same. We carry our childhood with us good or bad. To heal, we have to do work to unravel this in our brain and body.
Take a listen to today's podcast as I share more.
Want help?
Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact for my coaching services.
Join me as I talk about why some people heal and some people don't.
Does this speak to you?
Are you ready to heal?
Go to: https:https://identitylife.coach/contact
for my coaching services.
Join me today as my husband and I discuss some of our journey to secure attachment after betrayal.
Want to get coaching with me?
Go to:
https://identitylife.coach/contact
4 horsemen of the Apocalypse by the Gottman's:
1. Criticism
2. Contempt
3. Defensiveness
4. Stonewalling
https://counselinghuntsville.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Repair-Checklist.pdf
Ever wonder why you do the things you do? Or why you think the way you think?
Today I will be discussing some of the reasons we end up the way we do and what we can do about it.
Want coaching with me?
Join me today as I interview Shannon and Kendra as they share their story from addiction, betrayal and real transformation.
Shannon and Kendra have walked the fire of betrayal and recovery. After many failed attempts, they got healing and relief. This is their story and it's powerful! They are now a part of our Character Formation Coaching crew.
I am honored to have them share their story!
Want to get coaching with them?
Go to: https://www.feelinganddealing.coach/
or email Kendra: kendradisney@ymail.com
Want coaching with me? Or to get coach training?
Curious to understand how people can do destructive things and also have an aspect of themselves that did good things too?
Join me today as I unpack this and what I have learned about the, "How".
Want to be coached by me?
When considering why we get triggered, can't empathize, people please, need to escape pain through numbing out behaviors (even ones that seem harmless) , or we just, "Can't!"
We are talking about internal capacity to handle the difficulties (or even joys) of life.
Need support?