Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. Hi Listeners, Welcome to this safe, judgment-free space to find support, explore new perspectives, and better understand your estrangement circumstances. Regardless of where your relationship sits on the Continuum of Estrangement, you'll find encouragement and reassurance. If you’ve ever wondered how to move between being a mom to your adult c...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, Dr. Janet Steinkamp helps you peel back the first layer of the topic of coercive control. If you’ve noticed your estranged adult child suddenly changing their identity, distancing from family, or echoing words that don’t sound like their own, you may be witnessing coercive influence at work. You’ll lea...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. When estrangement is part of your life, even small talk can feel fraught. In this episode, I help parents prepare and practice responses for when people — from close friends to casual acquaintances — ask about their adult children or grandchildren. Practice, practice, practice. Thoughtful, intentional responses to questions about our estrangem...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. If you’re an estranged parent working with a therapist—or thinking about it—this episode is a must-listen. In this episode, I walk listeners through five common mistakes therapists make when working with us, the estranged parents. From unfair blame to giving advice, therapists who are not familiar with familial estrangement may actually worsen the situati...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. This episode is especially for our dads experiencing some degree of estrangement from their adult child. Father’s Day is coming up—and if you're an estranged father, you know this day can land like a punch to the gut. Whether you're sitting in silence, hoping for a message that may never come, missing the traditions of the past or wondering if reaching ou...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. This episode is a follow-up to our Mother's Day conversation—and it's all about what to do next. If you’ve been blamed, shut out, or accused of things that hurt to hear… this one’s for you. We’ll walk through how moms can start rebuilding trust when a relationship with their adult child is fractured or strained, especially when they're not sure how to beg...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. Premier Content - Subscriber-only Episode Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. This one’s tough—there’s no getting around it. And! It is a new and growing element of conversations related to estrangement. There was a time when incest was all-inclusive ...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. Mother’s Day can bring up a lot of emotional turmoil, can trigger our grief, and can shine a light on the empty chair at the dinner table - especially when your relationship with your adult child feels broken or distant. In this episode, we’ll examine 10 reasons adult children who are or have been estranged say they step back or walk away from their...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. Whether it's a holiday, birthday, or significant life event, high-risk days may – usually do - heighten the pain, loneliness and embarrassment of estrangement. In this episode of When Our Adult Children Walk Away, Dr. Janet Steinkamp offers practical strategies to help you prepare, set boundaries, and maintain emotional balance. 💡 Understand why these day...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. If you’re experiencing some degree of estrangement, you have almost certainly experienced the sting of rejection and the emotional gut punch of dejection. When some part of our involvement in our relationship is rejected, we can become overwhelmed by disbelief, anger, hurt feelings and despair. In this episode, we’re breaking it down. Rejection is t...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. In this episode, we dig into some of the differences and similarities of how moms and dads tell us they experience and navigate estrangement. Yes, dads and moms often experience estrangement differently. And, in ways, similarly. Only... we know it isn't really that simple, right? I hesitate to categorize how we experience and navigate estrangement by o...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. Walking on Eggshells is a concept we use to describe the extreme hypersensitivity parents feel when their relationship with their adult child is faltering. It means being hyper-aware or fearful of saying or doing anything that might upset the estranged child, often to avoid further damage to an already fragile relationship. This can lead to stress, frustr...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. In this episode, I discuss six tips that will proactively ensure you give space to your adult child and avoid misrepresentation by others. This topic is a continuation of discussions about communication, how to maintain it, how to ensure direct access if and when either the parent or adult child is compelled to reach out, and how to ensure others represen...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. In this episode, we consider avoiding or getting out of the habit of catastrophizing. You might be saying, “Hasn’t the worst already happened?” I suggest that it hasn’t. Or, maybe it’s more accurate to say that anticipating a catastrophe does not help move you toward preparing to repair and establish a new connection. Catastrophizing holds you in disbelie...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. So often, people who love and support us are also in contact with or know our distancing or estranged adult child. I'm frequently asked whether it is "a good idea" or "will it work" to have one of these people talk to the adult child on the parent's behalf. I also hear stories about people taking it upon themselves to approach an adult child w...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. So often, people who love and support us are also in contact with or know our distancing or estranged adult child. I'm often asked whether it is "a good idea" or "will it work" to have one of these people talk to the adult child on the parent's behalf. I also hear stories about people taking it upon themselves to approach an adult...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. Memory distortion is common in our human experience. It can be particularly relevant in crumbling relationships between parents and their adult children. Too often, what were once happy or benign memories morph - seemingly - suddenly into abusive and traumatic events. Parents are often caught off guard and sent reeling into a cycle of disbelief, anger, he...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. A few years ago, in the middle years of our family's estrangement from my adult daughter and grandchildren, I adopted the phrase "Parent Partner.” I borrowed the term from the early days of divorcing parents (remember Gweneth Paltro's divorce from Chris Martin?) working together to co-parent young children. The concept is that divorcing parent-partn...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. In healthy and effective communication, the strategic use of apologies and explanations can significantly influence the outcome and effectiveness of our efforts to manage potential rifts in our relationships. Both play an essential role in maintaining trust, reducing confusion and ensuring seemingly small grievances don’t become catastrophic. Where apolog...

Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly. The concept of gaslighting has become a common term over the past few years. So what is it and why is it that our adult children are quick to accuse parents of gaslighting? Gaslighting is when someone says something convincingly and with authority puts into question another's perspective and experiences. Gaslighting pushes others to change their own thin...