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This Isn’t Therapy
Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck
210 episodes
5 days ago
This Isn’t Therapy... it's a podcast about it! Therapy themes are everywhere you look— they’re in your relationships, in the culture, and yes, inside of you, Mary! Each week, Jake Ernst and Simon Paluck peel back the therapy curtain to discuss the very things people are talking to their therapists about. Anxiety. Boundaries. People Pleasing. Their narcissistic mother. No topic is off limits! New episodes drop every Thursday. ⁣ The hosts: Jake: https://www.instagram.com/mswjake Simon: https://www.instagram.com/directedbysimon The pod: https://www.instagram.com/notatherapypodcast
Show more...
Mental Health
Education,
Self-Improvement,
Health & Fitness
RSS
All content for This Isn’t Therapy is the property of Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
This Isn’t Therapy... it's a podcast about it! Therapy themes are everywhere you look— they’re in your relationships, in the culture, and yes, inside of you, Mary! Each week, Jake Ernst and Simon Paluck peel back the therapy curtain to discuss the very things people are talking to their therapists about. Anxiety. Boundaries. People Pleasing. Their narcissistic mother. No topic is off limits! New episodes drop every Thursday. ⁣ The hosts: Jake: https://www.instagram.com/mswjake Simon: https://www.instagram.com/directedbysimon The pod: https://www.instagram.com/notatherapypodcast
Show more...
Mental Health
Education,
Self-Improvement,
Health & Fitness
Episodes (20/210)
This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Giving feedback to your therapist

This Isn't Therapy...this is an episode about some hard truths learned in therapy. Ever wonder how to give your therapist some feedback?! Or even how would my therapist react if I gave them some feedback?! Through a story posted by an anonymous reddit user, Jake and Simon examine a therapists' struggle after they received some challenging feedback from a client. Then, through some lovely listener submissions, we flip the script and explore some hard truths some folks have taken away from their therapists. Grab a bib coz baby this episode is juicy!!!!!

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck
Show more...
5 days ago
43 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: The pursuit of endless bliss

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about the pursuit of endless bliss. Many people arrive to therapy with a "fantasy goal" thinking they want to be calm, happy, and relaxed all the time. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon talk about how to find a realistic sense of joy, happiness, purpose, and pleasure and what we can (or should) expect from life. This episode is for those wondering why the pursuit of endless bliss doesn’t produce the feelings (and lasting results) they promise.

Read more: The Pursuit of Endless Bliss by Jake Ernst.

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck
Show more...
1 week ago
44 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Is therapy harming kids?

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* critical look at the argument that children need less therapy, not more, and how this "mental heath culture" is stripping parents of autonomy, ultimately causing more harm than good. In this episode, Jake and Simon dive into a review (written by Anna Nordberg for Slate) for a book by a right-leaning conspiracy theorist titled Bad Therapy. "In Bad Therapy, Shrier [the book's author] ladles heavy helpings of anecdote over some scientific research to argue that therapists, school counselors, and the language of therapy that has influenced parenting in the past decade or so are, in her view, harming kids." So, what really is harming the kids? Is it therapy or maybe, just maybe, it's something else...

Source: Who’s Making The Kids Cry by Anna Nordberg for Slate

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck
Show more...
2 weeks ago
48 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: The pressure to be happy

This Isn't Therapy... it's the *encore* episode about the pressure to be happy. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how to feel authentically happy when there's a lot of pressure to perform positivity or force happy feelings. Jake and Simon hear from two Lovely Listeners who wonder about the true meaning of happiness and how to spot the difference between authentic joy versus fake happiness. In a culture that might encourage us to "just think positive!" we're asking "...should we?"

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Show more...
3 weeks ago
40 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: How social media is re-wiring our brain

This Isn't Therapy... it's the *encore* surprise solo session with Jake! In this episode, Jake shares two snippets from his weekly newsletter Just Trying To Help. Jake walks us through his theories for how social media is re-wiring our brains, reshaping our moods, and changing how we connect.

P.S. Happy Leap Year! Ribbit Ribbit!

Read the full articles here:

  • How Social Media Re-Wired Us All
  • The Rise of Algorithmic Moods

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Show more...
1 month ago
32 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Doom-slang is making us numb

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* doomy episode about the ever-evolving landscape of doomslang. Doomslang, coined by author and linguist Amanda Montell, is a term used to describe dystopian jargon like “dumpster fire” and “doomscroll” and “bed rot”. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how the constant conjuring of End Times is having surprising, unintended, and maybe even dangerous, consequences. From bed rot to brainrot, this episode sure packs a doomsday punch! Oh... and be sure to tune in this week for a very imporant Summertime announcement!

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Show more...
1 month ago
46 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: We talk to an AI therapist!

FROM THE VAULT: This Isn't Therapy... it's the *encore* episode about AI therapists and if they can ever replace the real thing. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a recent BBC article about why teens are seeking out AI therapist bots and what that means for the future of mental health. Conversational AI or, in other words, "chatbots with a personality" are gaining more attention and users are finding new therapy-ish use-cases on platforms like Character.ai and Replika. The pros, the cons, the risks, and the benefits. All that and more!

BBC Article discussed: Young people turning to AI therapist bots

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Show more...
1 month ago
41 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: What to do when therapy isn't working

This isn't therapy... and it's not working out, either! In this *encore* episode, Jake and Simon discuss what to do when therapy isn't working. Importantly, they talk about how to know if therapy is actually working and what to do when you feel like it's not. This episode is based on a Lovely Listener question: "If I cry in therapy, does that mean it's working?" Strap in!

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Show more...
1 month ago
46 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about the four F's: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss the four threat responses and how to move through tough situations and face what's in front of us. This episode is for anyone who feels trapped by their reactions or is left feeling overwhelmed by stressful situations. These responses are what make us human; it is better to embrace them and face them rather than become ruled by them.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Show more...
2 months ago
49 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: The two most essential skills for relationships

This Isn't Therapy... it's a long overdue convo about the two most essential skills in relationships. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a statistic about emotional availability: on average, we are only emotionally available for our partners about 9% of the time. With that in mind, they discuss how to get closer to the 9% using the two essential skills of attunement and repair. Throughout the episode, they discuss how to implement these skills through the development of micro-skills.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Show more...
2 months ago
48 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: The invisible toll of parentification

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about one of the things that robs kids of a care-free childhood: being parentified. When kids are forced to grow up too soon and become adults in childhood, kids can take on adult-like responsibilities and burdens. In this episode, we talk about the difference between healthy responsibility for kids and parentification and talk about the impact of having childhood stolen from us and being burdened before we're developmentally ready.

Article: Were you a ‘parentified child’? What happens when children have to behave like adults By Nivida Chandra

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Show more...
2 months ago
43 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Parasocial Relationships

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about parasocial relationships; the one-sided emotional connections we have with casual acquaintances, people we "know" online, characters we watch in television and movies, and people we admire from afar. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about some examples from pop culture, such as Chappell Roan's desire to set boundaries as a celebrity and Sabrina Carpenter's previous relationship. In addition, they pull examples from two articles to answer one curious question: Have we reached Peak Parasocial?

Article 1:
In a Celebrity-Obsessed World, Have We Reached Peak Parasocial? By Anna Cafolla

Article 2: What are parasocial relationships doing to our brains? By Allegra Rosenberg

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Show more...
3 months ago
38 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: The Empathy Wars

This isn’t therapy… it’s part three in our series about the war on human connection. In this episode, we talk about how overwhelming people with tragic and distressing information about the world leads to a decline in empathy. Jake and Simon discuss how a decline in rates of empathy affect our ability to practice perspective taking and experience empathic concern.

Article: Empathy Is Dying And So Are We by Rita Jabbour

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Show more...
3 months ago
46 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: The Opinion Wars

This Isn't Therapy... it's a follow up to last week's episode about the attention wars. In this episode, we explore the concept of "agree to disagree" and how there seems to be a war of opinions playing out in our culture. Is it really possible to find common ground when opinions clash? We discuss strategies for navigating disagreements and the key differences between opinion-based and values-based conflicts. Can we respectfully acknowledge opposing views, or does disagreement signal a deeper divide?

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Show more...
3 months ago
47 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: The Attention Wars

This Isn't Therapy... it's a frank discussion about the "attention economy"—where companies compete to capture our focus to sell us products. We break down the difference between attention, focus, and concentration, and examine how the constant battle for our attention impacts our mental health, productivity, and relationships. We discuss the hidden costs of a world where attention is monetized, and how we can reclaim control in this distraction-driven landscape.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Show more...
3 months ago
41 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Feeling Hopeless

This Isn't Therapy... it's our *encore* eppy from our first episode BACKKKK (from last year!!) This week, we're talking about why finding hope can often feel so hopeless in hopeless in times. We peel back the curtain on an article from The New Yorker called "Do you have hope?" which looks at the ways hope can live alongside despair, pain, and grief. We discuss what hope is, how hope can be active or passive, and how to use active forms of hope as a way of coping with challenging times and taking effective action on your goals.

Article: Do you have hope? By Joshua Rothman

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Show more...
4 months ago
41 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Can AI replace human relationships?

This Isn't Therapy... it's a thought-provoking *encore* episode about the growing influence of artificial intelligence in our personal lives. We ask the big question: Can AI truly replace human relationships? From AI companions and virtual therapists to chatbots that promise emotional support, technology is reshaping the way we connect. But what happens when machines become more accessible, predictable, and even more “reliable” than people?Are we building a world where technology enhances relationships—or one where it erodes the need for them altogether?

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Show more...
4 months ago
52 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Learning to be alone

This Isn't Therapy...this is a flirty fab *encore* conversation about loneliness versus being alone. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore feelings around how we can feel lonely even though we're surrounded by people we love. Also, how being alone does not always mean you are lonely.

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question to Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck
Show more...
4 months ago
43 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
ENCORE: Is it possible to be "too emotional"?

This Isn't Therapy...it’s the ENCORE to our episode about emotions and emotionality. Am I overacting? Under-reacting? In this conversation, Jake and Simon chat about the normal, human, everyday emotions that show up in our lives. How do we know if our reactions are within a healthy range? They use the Window of Tolerance model to discuss big and small emotions, how to widen our windows, and what to do when emotions don’t seem to match the situation in front of us.

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us:: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck
Show more...
5 months ago
48 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
The Mind-Body Connection

This Isn't Therapy... it's a discussion about the mind-body connection~ wooOOoO!! Nah, in all seriousness, Jake and Simon unpack some interesting data about the gut and how it's being considered a second brain for its ability to drive instinct, help us refocus, and hone in on what really matters. In this episode, we discuss through some final lovely listener submissions and hear what y'all are thinking about as it pertains to this important, and often overlooked, piece of the mental health puzzle!

P.S. This is our final episode of the season. Stay tuned for epic encore replays all summer long and keep your eyes peeled for an announcement about our next season in Fall 2025!

Got an episode idea? Or maybe even a quandary, query, or question? Submit your thoughts (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

  • Simon Paluck - Host
  • Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Show more...
5 months ago
39 minutes

This Isn’t Therapy
This Isn’t Therapy... it's a podcast about it! Therapy themes are everywhere you look— they’re in your relationships, in the culture, and yes, inside of you, Mary! Each week, Jake Ernst and Simon Paluck peel back the therapy curtain to discuss the very things people are talking to their therapists about. Anxiety. Boundaries. People Pleasing. Their narcissistic mother. No topic is off limits! New episodes drop every Thursday. ⁣ The hosts: Jake: https://www.instagram.com/mswjake Simon: https://www.instagram.com/directedbysimon The pod: https://www.instagram.com/notatherapypodcast