In the season four finale of Thirsty, we're talking to special guests Kelsey Banyan and Hollie Conroy about their experiences coming out late(r) in life. They're talking about their journey to self realization, including the changes they experienced in their lives, their marriages, and of course, dating and relationships. Becoming who you are is the privilege of a lifetime, and these stories show the beauty that can happen when we break free. If there's one thing we know for sure, life is best lived in full color.
ABOUT KELSEY AND HOLLIE
Kelsey is a Chicago-area writer and enthusiastic crier who can be found quilting, planning complicated hypothetical vacations on points, or publicly breaking out in song, much to the dismay of her two kids. Find her watching TikToks months after they go viral on IG @kaymeibee.
Hollie is a Chicago-area writer and content creator. You can connect with her on Instagram at @holliecats or TikTok at @stephandhollie. She also leads a MeetUp group for self-described Lesbian and Queer Late Bloomers.
Society tries to tell us that life is better when you're partnered up. Maybe that's true for some people, but not everyone. What if life is pretty great on your own, and you have no plans to change that fact? Meet Sarah R, who got a divorce, created a life as a single mom, and couldn't be happier. When it comes down to it, we all get to carve out the life of our dreams, and that looks like different things to different people. She's sharing the up's, the down's (and everything inbetween) about being single by choice.
Divorce pushes us to rethink everything we thought we knew about ourselves, including our sexuality. In this transformative conversation, Vanessa and Xander Marin share a deeper look at the decisions we make about sex; and, you may be surprised at the results. Whether you're in a longterm relationship, or fresh out on the dating scene, there's something here for everyone.
Discussed in this episode:
About Vanessa and Xander Marin:
Meet New York Times Best Selling authors Vanessa and Xander Marin. She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience, he’s a regular dude, and together they wrote Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life.
They’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you’ll be calling your new besties in no time. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
Follow them on Instagram @vanessaandxander, and tune in to their podcast, Pillow Talks, for totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!
These days, self care has become synonymous with candles, bubble baths, and glasses of wine. What if it's about something deeper? Firstly, do you know where the term "self care" originated? Spoiler alert: it's not what you may think. Today, Heather and Laura are proposing a reframe on self care, and sharing lessons learned along the way. They're talking about habit stacking, nurturing self esteem, and what taking care of yourself can look like in real life.
FEATURED IN THIS EPISODE:
The Loveland Foundation is an organization committed to showing up for communities of color in unique and powerful ways, with a particular focus on Black women and girls. With the barriers affecting access to treatment by members of diverse ethnic and racial groups, the Loveland Therapy Fund provides financial assistance to Black women and girls seeking therapy nationally. Learn more HERE.
Today, Tracey Tee, founder of Moms on Mushrooms, is dropping by the Thirsty recording studio to chat all things microdosing, and, it's not what you may think. Tracey experienced her own spiritual awakening through microdosing, and she's here to share her journey, as well as the many lessons she learned along the way. The first thing to know? Tracey says it's all about waking up, not numbing out, and she's passionate about helping other moms create their happiest, healthiest selves.
ABOUT TRACEY TEE
Tracey is the creator and steward of Moms on Mushrooms, a community devoted to moms and microdosing. MOM seeks to destigmatize and promote the safe use of psychedelics, remain in humble service to others, and promote reciprocity, responsibility, and respect. Learn more at momsonmushrooms.com or on social platforms at @momsonmushroomsofficial.
Today, Thirsty is hosting Carla Romo and Sherry Gaba from The Love Fix to talk all things codependency. Firstly, what is codependency? Why does it matter? And how can we make better dating and relationship choices?
This team is covering anxious attachment, self esteem, and what you can do to make your love life better starting right this second. They're also talking about how you may be a master manipulator (and not even realize it), the difference between interdependence and codependence, as well as why being a "fixer" may be your very own version of a red flag. Red alert! The love life of your dreams starts by working on yourself.
ABOUT CARLA AND SHERRY
Carla Romo (a certified life, dating, and relationship coach) and Sherry Gaba (LCSW) say love doesn’t have to suck. They know this from overcoming their own dating and relationship horror stories, which led them to becoming experts in healing from codependency, dating, and toxic relationships. Their 30 year age difference brings an array of perspectives from any stage in life to the table. If you’re dating, in a relationship, or divorced, they’ve got your back. As hosts of the podcast The Love Fix, they're serving the latest tools on how to navigate dating, as well as how to thrive in a successful relationship. You can find more from Carla and Sherry using @thelovefixpodcast or listen to The Love Fix wherever you get your podcasts.
Sometimes we need to hear from the experts, and who knows more about finding a good match than a professional matchmaker? Daphney Poyser is here to share what she knows about matching, dating, and finding the love that is right for you. She founded Fern Connections, a matchmaking agency that centers LGBTQIA+ clients. Daphney is talking about dating after divorce, healing, choosing your priorities, and being open to the possibilities.
Then, stick around for a Date Report with Thirsty field correspondent Kit Ratliff, who's talking about their experience navigating dating apps while being a young divorcee, lover of library science, and newly out trans nonbinary.
ABOUT DAPHNEY POYSER: Daphney Poyser is the founder and CEO of Fern Connections, a LGBTQIA+ matchmaking and coaching company. After noticing a lack of diversity within the world of dating services, Poyser sought out to create her own company founded on the principles of greater gender, sexual, and romantic inclusivity. Fern Connections was started in 2020 and now has headquarters in Texas and Georgia. The company serves individuals nationwide within the United States. You can find more from Daphney at FernConnections.com or @fernconnections across social media.
ABOUT KIT RATLIFF: Kit is a nonbinary monarch in their own right, but also a complete Disaster Bisexual™. They can be sometimes found hanging out with their ex-husband, cracking divorce jokes that make everyone uncomfortable, or just reading a good fantasy book. Connect with Kit at @kitratliff.
ABOUT THIS EPISODE:
They're the essential tool we love to hate: dating apps. But, what if the apps aren't the problem... you're just using them wrong. Dating experts Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu are here to talk to us about how we can leverage dating apps to their highest power and (perhaps) find the love of a lifetime. From how to write a profile to how to screen for your best match, they're showing us what we can do to make great connections that may actually go somewhere. They're also covering how better dates may actually result from dating less, and how to attract the matches you want.
Then, stay tuned for our first "Date Report" with Thirsty field correspondent Kathryn Mio, a fresh face in the city who's here to tell us what she's learned from dating, living, and loving after a breakup.
ABOUT JULIE KRAFCHICK AND YUE XU:
Julie and Yue are active daters turned dating sociologists on a mission to understand why we date the way we do. Through talking to thousands of daters and world- renowned experts, they're here to help you create the love life you've always wanted. Swipe right on their podcast Dateable wherever you get your podcasts, or match with them on Instagram with @dateablepodcast.
ABOUT KATHERYN MIO
Consultant by day, comedienne by night, and newly minted Chicagoan. She’s not a divorcee (yet) but she is working on becoming the most emotionally unavailable woman in the Chicagoland area. You can find her at @KathrynMio on Instagram.
When it comes to relationships, there's this pervasive idea that monogamy is the gold standard. However, most of us don't fit into that [very small] box. Divorced? That's not monogamy. Dated multiple people? That's not monogamy. Serial monogamist? That's not monogamy either.
So, let's throw out the fantasy and get real instead. Over *one in five Americans have practiced some form of ethical nonmonogamy at some point in their lifetime, so this is not a niche practice. If you've ever found yourself wanting to know more about nonmonogamy, polyamory (and any other kinds of amory!) today's episode is for you. Dedeker Winston, a relationship coach, author, and co-host of The Multiamory Podcast, is here to dispel myths, offer guidance, and say the quiet part out loud. And, she's totally delightful as well.
Join us as we learn more about nonmonogamy — and perhaps — more about ourselves, as well.
ABOUT DEDEKER WINSTON
Dedeker Winston is an educator, relationship coach, and co-host of the Multiamory podcast, a research-backed relationship advice show that centers non-traditional relationships. She is the author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory and Multamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships.
ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Today's episode of Thirsty is for anyone who is (or loves) someone who is managing an addiction. "Addiction" is a word that gets thrown around out of context quit often, when the reality is that clinical addiction is a disease that needs to be managed, and most of the time, things like a sugar or shopping addiction just don't compare. Dr. Shamin Ladhani is a clinical psychologist specializing in addiction, and she's visiting Thirsty to talk about how to approach relationships when clinical addiction is in the mix. Dr. Shamin is covering how to know that you're ready to date, staying tracked in with your recovery, and how your partner can help to support you. She's busting common myths, highlighting truths, and bringing a healthy dose of optimism to the table.
ABOUT DR. SHAMIN LADHANI:
Shamin Ladhani, Psy.D. received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Nova Southeastern University in Fort Lauderdale, Florida in 2005. She works as a pain psychologist in pain management at Ascension Healthcare in Racine, Wisconsin. She also runs her own consulting practice where she conducts independent psychological evaluations, participates in speaking engagements, develops wellness programs for organizations and provides training for healthcare professionals and the general public.
Dr. Ladhani has designed and implemented in-person and online training and workshops for a variety of audiences. Her interests are in culturally sensitive and trauma informed healthcare. She leads staff trainings at the medical center that are designed to help healthcare professionals approach patient care in a manner that is sensitive and leads to better outcomes. She has also researched and presented on issues that affect the South Asian community and participates in outreach to her local community. Dr. Ladhani is passionate about work with chronic pain, more specifically helping people that have disabling conditions feel empowered and live a better quality of life through psychological techniques. Her clinical interests involve working with underserved medical populations, reducing mental health stigma, chronic disease management, addictions, and mind body integration.
She has also been active in governance for the American Psychological Association helping to influence policies that impact underserved individuals access to mental health care. In 2016, she received a Forty-under-Forty Award from the Milwaukee Business Journal for her work with underserved communities.
ABOUT THE EPISODE: It's the day of the Season 4 premiere, y'all! Thirsty's back, with special guest Gabrielle Stone of FML Talk. She's an author, actress, and podcaster who's seen it all (and lived to tell the tale), with more than a few laughs along the way. Today, Gabrielle's stopping by the Thirsty recording studio to talk about life after divorce, healing from a partner's infidelity, and why she decided to walk down the aisle for the second time. Gabrielle, Heather, and Laura are also covering about how to spot a love bomber, when cheating might not be the end, and how to make the most of the PDHP. #IYKYK.
ABOUT GABRIELLE STONE: Gabrielle Stone is no stranger to the world of entertainment. Growing up on set with her legendary scream-queen mother, Dee Wallace (Cujo, E.T.), she had days of licking off mommy’s fake blood and watching behind the scenes movie magic. Seeing the world with mom and dad gave her the travel bug at an early age—until Gabrielle experienced a real-life horror when she lost her father suddenly at age seven.
After many years in the industry herself, Stone transitioned from meaty acting roles to writing and directing. Her award-winning films It Happened Again Last Night and After Emma gained her awards for writing, directing, and acting—but she had a bigger role in life that would soon present itself: freaking badass.
After the rug was vigorously pulled out from under her when her husband’s affair came to light, she found herself falling into the arms of another man. After a second failed attempt at love and a massive heartbreak, she decided that instead of landing flat on her ass—she’d make a career out of it.
And so came the birth of the book Eat, Pray, #FML, where she shared all the mistakes, all the lessons, and most importantly, how she became a fearless leader from it all.
When fans around the world demanded more, the highly anticipated sequel, The Ridiculous Misadventures of a Single Girl, and the podcast FML Talk we’re born—and Gabrielle soon realized that her broken heart had bloomed a movement.
LEARN MORE: @gabriellestone Eat Pray #FML
We’re all a little bit know-it-all. Egotistical. Self-centered. But — what if we challenged ourselves, looked deeper, searched wider?
Thirsty: the Podcast is a show about dating, relationships, and life after divorce. Season four premieres October 2, and, we’re going big this time, with amazing guests who bring heavy-hitting expertise to the table:
So, what happens next? Let’s get curious. Let's learn, try, and discover. It’s time to learn more about the world beyond what we’ve told ourselves with a brand new season we’re calling "Fresh Eyes", premiering this fall.
This is Thirsty :the Podcast, because sometimes life leaves you wanting more.
Second Chance Summer is a limited series where Heather and Laura revisit dates of Dark Days past with the benefit of hindsight. "The Six Kinds of Men You Meet on Tinder" was the episode that started it all back on August 16, 2021. Things have changed a lot in two years (and that's an understatement). Take a listen to this original episode from the vault, then stay tuned afterwards for a brand new discussion.
Then, Heather and Laura share a sneak peek into Season 4 of Thirsty, premiering October 2nd. With new conversations on microdosing, polyamory, second marriages, and more on the way, Thirsty is just getting started.
Second Chance Summer is a limited series where Heather and Laura revisit the dates of Dark Days past with the benefit of hindsight. Take a listen to this story from the vault, then stick around for a brand new discussion. Shawn was a whirlwind romance from Heather's history that Thirsty originally aired February 21, 2022. He was a kind, fun, empathetic match who wasn't meant to last (but made quite the impression regardless). He marked a true turning point in Heather's dating journey, and everyone needs a lightning rod connection every now and then.
David the Disaster was one of Laura's very first Thirsty stories, published August 23, 2021. David was a tough experience for Laura (and all her girlfriends) because this match was toxic right from the start. Many painful lessons were learned, but now Laura can look back and see the role he played in her healing journey. From "lingering" to "baggage" and beyond, this story reminds us that we all gotta start somewhere.
Thirsty listeners first met Larry on March 21, 2022. Larry and Heather had matched, met, and were building a real friendship (or so Heather thought). Heather and Larry had already decided it wasn't a love match, so quelle surprise when their relationship took a hard left into romantic territory. This is a story about perception, communication, and learning to stick to your boundaries.
Nate the Great was a Dark Days date who met Laura right after a traumatizing encounter with David the Disaster. But, was Nate really all that great? With "Second Chance Summer", Laura is seeing Nate's impact through fresh eyes and the benefit of hindsight, and she's seeing things a little bit differently now. Today we're asking, why do we put certain connections up on a pedestal, and do they really deserve to be there? Nate may have been the right date, at the right time, but the breakup was just as timely. Laura found that sometimes a positive connection heals a piece of you that was a little bit broken, and it helps you see your way up and out.
This summer, Thirsty is revisiting the Dark Days of dating with a fresh take in a seasonal series called "Second Chance Summer". Harry was a date who decided Heather was "It", capitalized despite the fact that he barely knew her. Apparently when you're dating with a checklist, checking the boxes is all that matters, so much so that he pitched a trip to Hawaii on the second date. Listen to this oldie but a goodie, then stay tuned for a new discussion at the end of this episode, reflecting on why love never needed a checklist.