Hi. Hey. Bet you thought you'd seen the last of us, huh? Don't be discouraged by the short timestamp - I don't want to spoil the surprise, but we've got a big announcement for y'all...
Welcome back listeners! John Green’s manic pixie dream girl fantasies continue this week as Quintin tries to track down his childhood best friend Margo, who may or may not be entirely made of paper (gross). Featuring philosophical cops, tips for breaking and entering, and the Fiery Rage of Veet.
TW: Brief mentions of suicide.
If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec: Nevermoor: The Trials of Morrigan Crow, Jessica Townsend. Non-book rec: The Last of Us, developed by Naughty Dog and Sony Entertainment.
Welcome back everyone! This week, Evie is ready to take on the supernatural world with her pink bedazzled taser and her stiletto boots. The only thing she isn’t prepared for is Lend: the slippery paranormal boy who slides his way into Evie’s heart (and her surrogate mother’s skin). Featuring vampire slander, copyright questions, and some very questionable fairy management. (Seriously, everyone should be way more concerned about the fairies.)
CW: Death
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec: The Martian, Adam Weir. Also-book rec: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons From the Crematory, Caitlin Doughty.
SEQUEL EPISODE: (5, 11, 17, 23, 29, 35) Better late than never? Welcome back to our longest running series to date, listeners. We’ve got fairies, we’ve got ghost children, we’ve got... really, really terrible accents. Zoey’s spirit is shattered, the Italy gang has a lot of thoughts on Barbies, and Stevie Rae is really getting into birds.
CW: Murder, graphic violence
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec: Bunny, Mona Awad. Non-book rec: In Strange Woods, a podcast produced by Atypical Artists.
Come along, listeners, as we solve the mystery of Jack the Ripper (and encounter the best ending to a book we’ve found thus far on the podcast)! Girlboss Audrey Rose is not afraid of dead bodies, serial killers, or hot guys who frequently mention drinking blood. Featuring some red flags to look for if you think your boyfriend might be a murderer/vampire/asshole, questionable comebacks, and the ghost of BBC Sherlock.
CW: Murder, graphic violence
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec: Take a Hint, Dani Brown: Talia Hibbert. Non-book rec: Crime Junkie, a podcast produced by audiochuck.
SEQUEL EPISODE: (33) This book might not answer our biggest questions, like “What even is sorting,” or “Is Cassia a half-robot,” but it’s chock full of… other stuff. Like the reinvention of therapy, and a list of people who might be the Pilot. Spoiler alert: everyone is on that list. Including you. Congratulations, you’re now leading a rebellion against the robot government that tried to eradicate cancer by killing off all the sopranos. Good luck.
CW: Death
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Non-book rec: Ozark, on Netflix. Other non-book rec: The Magnus Archives, a podcast produced by Rusty Quill.
Listeners, if you’ve been with us since the beginning, you know how near and dear the Selection series is to us. But what about the book that started it all? Kahlen is half Little Mermaid, half Criminal Minds bad guy, and all she wants is a break from her terrible, horrible life as a perfect immortal sea goddess. Enter Akinley, a teenage boy who likes baking and arson. Featuring: moral conundrums, bad ways to test if your girlfriend is indestructible, and how to get out of terrible dates.
CW: References to child abuse, death
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec: The Island of Sea Women, Lisa See. Non-book rec: Kaitlyn’s posh Etsy candles from company Anchored Northwest.
The worst book of all worst books has entered the ring, listeners! If you haven’t heard Savanah complaining about The Notebook, you might be new around here. To summarize, we’ve got toxic love tropes, old people sex, and the incredible, incredible hubris of N*cholas Sp*rks. Plus, sexy abstract painting and how to know when it’s time to let go of that guy you dated for two months in middle school.
CW: Death
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec: Get a Life Chloe Brown, Talia Hibbert. Non-book rec: Nimona, Noelle Stevenson.
SEQUEL EPISODE: (6, 12, 18, 24, 30) Harry Potter who? In this final installment to one of our OG series, Juliette the horcrux and her evil mermaid sister attempt to save the day with The Power of Algorithms. Also included: fun interior design tips, evil bakers, and Warner’s strip tease of love.
CW: Murder, violence, gore, body horror, brief references to sexual assault and child abuse
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec(s): In the Dreamhouse, Carmen Maria Machado. Non-book rec: Audio book, The House in the Cerulean Sea, TJ Klune.
SEQUEL EPISODE: (5, 11, 17, 23, 29) Dearest listeners- thank you for your patience. Like 2021, we’re coming out swinging, and we’re so excited to share this year’s lineup with you! This week we return to your favorite sexy vampire school, where Zoey discovers the feng shui of Jesus, high literature Doctor Suess, and the sixth element: guns. Also, birdophilia takes on a new meaning, and we debate appropriate emotional support songs to sing when you’re cleaning up the trail of blood that leads to your secret illegal bird boyfriend who might still try to kill you.
TW: References to murder, sexual assault, and pedophilia
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec(s): The Secret Life of Addie La Rue, V.E. Schwab Non-book rec: Audio book! The House in the Cerulean Sea, TJ Klune.
For all you listeners who survived Friday the 13th: welcome back! Bundle up, grab something warm to drink, and join us for a love story made of mutual stalking and uncomfortable email threads. Also includes: shoulder biting with strangers AND free tickets to the Singles Garden!
TW: Stalking, brief references to domestic abuse and eating disorders
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec(s): The Bromance Book Club, Lyssa Kay Adams; I Was Born for This, Alice Oseman; Cemetery Boys, Aiden Thomas. Non-book rec: Heartstopper comics, Alice Oseman.
Matched has been our most-requested episode to date, dear listeners: ask and you shall receive! Cassia has a mind like a steel trap and a penchant for following the rules. When an unanticipated love triangle disrupts her perfect dystopian life in Communist Utah, who will she choose? Xander, who likes Games, or Kai, who has eyes like everything bagels?
TW: None
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec: The 7½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle, Stuart Turton. Non-book rec: GET YOUR ASS TO THE POLLS AND VOTE, AMERICAN LISTENERS.
SEQUEL: (Connected eps 2, 7, 14, 26) Welcome, Selection Nation, to the shocking conclusion of a series very near and dear to us. Don’t fear your hearts, listeners. Follow them. Let them inspire you to commit treason. (Just... so much treason.) Who’s ready for risky business in the palace?
TW: Brief reference to child abuse
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec: Ink in the Blood, Kim Smejkal. Non-book rec: Kat’s (paperbackdreams) book reviews on Youtube!
SEQUEL(?): (Connected eps 1, 8, 13, 19) A bit of a longer episode this week for our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY! Woot woot! As you may know, our pal Steph has graced us with 658 pages of new (?) content, and we didn’t want to leave out anything important. Join us for this fun experiment in character assassination and angsty inner dialogue as Edward Melodramatic Cullen answers questions you never knew you had.
TW: Brief reference to sexual assault, violence
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany Book rec: Turtles all the Way Down, John Green. Non-book rec: Schitt's Creek, TV series.
SEQUEL: (Previous eps 6, 12, 18, 24) Welcome back listeners! Have you been on the edge of your seat agonizing over the fate of Injured Brendan?! No? ...Who’s that, you say? It’s okay, we weren’t sure either. But this is a book of answers, so prepare yourselves for the biggest opening flex EVER, really creepy telepathic mermaids, and a love story that transcends time. (Seriously, please make it stop.)
TW: Child abuse, murder, graphic violence
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany Book rec: The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins. Non-book rec: Booksmart (2019).
SEQUEL EP: (See 5, 11, 17, 23) Welcome listeners, to the horniest season of The Bachelor... no, wait, wrong series. This week in the House of Night: Kaitlyn sings a cursed song, nobody is a lesbian, and yeah maybe Zoey killed a man, but at least we’ve got Project Runway to keep us on the straight and narrow. Featuring surprise poetry and ravens who fuck.
(TW: Sexual assault, racism.)
Thank you to anyone who donated to Black Lives Matter or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany
Book rec: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, Taylor Jenkins Reid. Comic book rec: Saga series, Brian K Vaughan.
Poetry. It moves us, it confuses us, and it reminds us that we should always check books for sexually explicit content before gifting them to children. This week we discuss Savanah's longtime nemesis (this book), Kaitlyn's publishing prowess, and a love poem gone wrong. Drama! Intrigue! Pawning your stalker off on your childhood friend! This episode has it all.
TW: Brief references to sexual assault.
Thank you to anyone who donated to BLM or Pride organizations! It’s never too late to send us your receipts in exchange for our buckwild vampire bonus episode. If you like The Worst Thing We Read, help us grow by spreading the word! You can support us by leaving a 5-star review on Apple iTunes. Follow us on Instagram @worstthingweread, Twitter @worstthngweread, or email us at worstthingweread@gmail.com. Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/102293261-kaitlyn-burton https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/12635391-savanah-tiffany Book rec: Loveless, Alice Oseman. Non-book rec: This American Life podcast.