What if the way you love — and the way you fight — were both written long before you met your partner? Tony Overbay, LMFT, reveals how your nervous system learned to react to love, conflict, and vulnerability decades before your first date — and how those patterns still show up today.In this episode, Tony introduces Jack and Jill, a fictional couple built from hundreds of real couples he has worked with over 20 years in therapy. Their story illustrates two common attachment patterns — one anxious, one avoidant — and how they collide in the classic pursue-withdraw cycle that leaves both partners feeling unseen, unsafe, and alone.Through relatable narrative, clinical insight, and real-world examples, you’ll learn:• How childhood emotional experiences shape relationship expectations• Why your partner’s reactions can feel like rejection (even when they aren’t)• How anxiety and withdrawal both come from trying to feel safe• Why repeating the same argument isn’t failure — it’s a nervous system loop• What has to change before communication skills even matterThis episode will help you finally understand why you fell for your partner… and why the very things that drew you together now drive you apart.Whether you identify with Jill’s pursuit for reassurance or Jack’s retreat into silence, you’ll start to see the deeper story inside your relationship — the one your body has been telling long before you could put it into words.Stay tuned for Part 2, where Tony will explore an entirely different path — one where emotional safety is modeled, repair is possible, and connection doesn’t have to hurt.00:00 Introduction: The Hidden Stories of Our Reactions00:41 Understanding Nervous System Responses02:01 The Impact of Childhood Experiences02:34 Modern Relationships and Nervous System Patterns04:08 Meet Jack and Jill: A Case Study09:09 Jill's Story: A Childhood of Emotional Instability13:14 Jack's Story: Learning to Withdraw16:43 Jack and Jill's Relationship Dynamics21:18 The Pursue-Withdraw Cycle27:23 Paths to Healing and Connection29:44 Conclusion: Moving Forward with AwarenessContact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-courseYou can learn more about Tony's cornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Ever wonder why your partner's innocent behavior feels like a personal attack? What if the stories you're telling yourself about their intentions say more about you than about them?

What happens when the person who usually has the answers finds himself sitting in the unknown? In this deeply personal episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Tony Overbay shares ...

Would you rather be liked—or be true to yourself?It sounds simple, but what happens when staying true to your values could cost you your job, your marriage, your faith community, or your friendships? In today’s episode of The Virtual Couch Presents, Tony Overbay, LMFT, dives into the real difference between character (the traits others see in us) and integrity (the alignment of our actions with our deepest values).Through stories pulled from the legal world, faith communities, workplaces, friendships, and even the messy reality of parenting, Tony explores how external validation can pull us away from who we are—and how emotional maturity, self-determination, and values-based living bring us back home to ourselves.You’ll hear about billion-dollar law firms making impossible choices, parents navigating the tension between community expectations and their child’s authenticity, and why even a heated debate over pizza sauce in a Hot Pocket can reveal where integrity really lives.At the end of the episode, stay tuned for a short guided meditation to help you connect with your own values and discover how to live them out with integrity. And don’t miss the chance to grab a cheat sheet of this episode and Tony’s Values Exercise, a simple but powerful tool to help you start discovering who you truly are.This is not about guilt or shame. It’s about curiosity, growth, and finding the courage to live with integrity—even when it costs you.00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch00:50 The Dilemma: Being Liked vs. Being True to Yourself01:36 Exploring Character and Integrity02:58 Upcoming Cruise and Workshops04:04 Character vs. Integrity: Real-Life Examples14:14 The Legal World: Integrity Under Pressure33:21 Self-Determination Theory and Emotional Maturity35:53 Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination Theory36:56 Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness37:42 External Rewards and Burnout38:39 Real-World Examples of Integrity39:42 Sophia's Journey to Integrity42:16 Daniel's Struggle with Values45:12 Integrity in Different Contexts58:06 Faith and Integrity01:06:15 Guided Meditation: Coming Home to Your ValuesContact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-courseYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Tony and his daughter Mackie (@beautybymackie) catch up on a lot of life. Since the last time they hit record, Mackie has navigated big career shifts, health challenges, and new adventures. Tony has faced major surgery and the loss of his mom (Mackie’s grandmother). Together, they dive into the messy, uncomfortable, and often hilarious realities of change — why our brains resist it, why it feels so daunting in the moment, and why it’s actually the engine of growth. From dad jokes about Gen Z slang to real talk about autoimmune diagnoses, resilience, and reinventing yourself, this conversation is equal parts laughter, honesty, and insight.If you’re navigating your own season of change, this episode will remind you that discomfort isn’t just survivable — it’s what shapes who you’re becoming. Follow Mackie on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/beautybymackie or Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@beautybymackie or subscribe to "The Mind, The Mirror and Me" wherever you listen to podcasts!00:00 Welcome and Introduction00:30 The Struggle with Change02:16 Introducing Mackey McKinley02:44 Life Updates and Major Changes02:58 The Humor in Processing Change03:25 Practical Gifts and Life Lessons03:32 Social Media and Upcoming Events04:10 Conversation with Mackey Begins04:17 Casual Banter and Podcast Revival05:56 Mackey's Career Journey10:17 Health Challenges and Lifestyle Changes28:21 The Concept of Healthy Ego30:49 Defensive Ego and Feelings of Inferiority31:10 Insecurity in Professional Settings31:18 Hypersensitivity and Narcissistic Traits32:01 Building a Healthy Ego32:39 Passion vs. Obligation in Work34:02 Personal Growth and Change36:20 The Fear of the Unknown38:37 The Illusion of Control39:19 Coping with Discomfort and Growth40:12 Therapy and Emotional Support49:13 The Power of Pausing and Acceptance54:13 Mackey's Wellness Journey56:46 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Tony sits down with his friend and Love, ADHD co-host, Julie De Jesus, to unpack her recent interview with Kevin Franke, ex-husband of Ruby Franke. Ruby, the former “8 Passengers” YouTuber, pled guilty in late 2023 to multiple counts of aggravated child abuse and, along with her business partner Jodi Hildebrandt, was sentenced in February 2024 to up to 30 years in prison under Utah law.While Tony originally planned to ask Julie about Kevin, the conversation took a different turn: the tidal wave of comments Julie received after posting her interview. With humor, honesty, and therapeutic insight, Tony and Julie read through some of those YouTube comments out loud, responding in real time. They explore why people are so quick to judge, why emotions often masquerade as facts, and how online criticism reveals more about the commenter than the person being critiqued.You’ll hear candid reflections on:* What Kevin’s story stirs up in people (and why)* How emotional immaturity shows up in the comment section (projection, black-and-white thinking, and mistaking feelings for truth)* Why leaving abusive situations is never as simple as outsiders believe* The concept of “whole object relations” — holding multiple emotions at once* How Julie navigated negativity while staying grounded and authenticThis episode is part deep dive into psychology, part raw behind-the-scenes of content creation, and part hilarious reading of unfiltered internet comments. If you’ve ever wondered why strangers online lash out—or how to handle criticism with both compassion and boundaries—this one’s for you.00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview00:33 Julie De Jesus and Her Interview with Kevin Frankie01:11 Handling Criticism and Emotional Reactions02:40 Understanding Emotional Maturity03:55 Navigating Online Criticism07:40 Promoting the Upcoming Cruise11:51 The Future of Love A DHD Podcast12:24 Deep Dive into Kevin Frankie's Interview21:04 Personal Reflections and Recognitions31:30 Introduction to Kate's Family Dynamics31:32 Exploring Religious Roles and Power Dynamics32:23 Personal Reflections and Family Dynamics35:00 Commentary on Interview Techniques36:26 Debating Faith and Atheism38:40 Addressing Online Criticism42:20 Therapy and Personal Growth53:05 Inner Child and Emotional Healing01:00:02 Concluding Thoughts and ReflectionsContact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise,

Have you ever tried to change someone’s mind—and watched them dig in even deeper? Or wondered why, even when you want to change your own beliefs, it feels like pushing against an invisible force? In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, takes you on a journey that starts with a teenage quest for the perfect tan and ends with a powerful realization about how we construct our social realities. After sharing a personal story about undergoing a dramatic topical chemotherapy treatment for actinic keratosis, Tony reflects on how his temporarily altered appearance changed the way people interacted with him—and how it altered the way he saw himself.This experience sets the stage for a breakdown of the groundbreaking Dartmouth scar study, which revealed that the belief that you’re being judged can actually create that experience—regardless of reality. From there, Tony dives into the science of confirmation bias: how our brains are wired to seek out information that supports what we already believe, and how this cognitive shortcut influences everything from politics and religion to parenting and marriage. You’ll hear real-life examples, client stories (with details changed for confidentiality), and powerful metaphors that unpack why belief change is so hard—and why it’s also essential for personal growth, emotional maturity, and deeper human connection.00:00 The Quest for the Perfect Tan00:35 A Dermatologist's Warning01:33 The Chemotherapy Cream Experience02:27 Social Reactions to Visible Differences05:20 The Dartmouth Scar Study06:24 The Power of Perception15:25 Confirmation Bias in Action32:47 Interpreting Neutral Events33:04 Religion and Coincidences33:34 Selective Memory in Parenting and Beyond34:58 Confirmation Bias in Action36:23 Client Story: Recognizing Bias40:32 Vaccine Hesitancy and Confirmation Bias44:58 The Scar Study and Confirmation Bias54:56 Evolutionary Roots of Belief Protection57:33 Modern Challenges and Professional Competence01:01:49 Conclusion and Listener EngagementContact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.And visit https://julie-dejesus.

What do a therapist dad, his adult daughter, and a live stream full of honest questions have in common? A raw, insightful, and often hilarious live Q&A.In this special live episode, therapist Tony Overbay, LMFT, is joined by his daughter Sydney for a candid conversation that covers everything from emotional immaturity and ADHD to family dynamics, addiction, and navigating a faith crisis.With their signature mix of warmth, wit, and psychological depth, Tony and Sydney explore how perception truly shapes reality (via the Dartmouth scar study), what it means to heal your inner child, and why we so often double down on what’s familiar—even when it no longer serves us.You’ll hear real-time questions and breakthroughs from listeners on topics like trauma, medication, parenting, and personal growth. Sydney shares her lived experience leaving a high-demand religion, and Tony offers grounded, compassionate insights on how we all carry parts of ourselves—from inner kids to "addicts"—that are doing their best to help us survive.Whether you're working through your own stuff or just love real talk about what it means to grow up (emotionally and otherwise), this episode has something for you.00:00 Introduction and Casual Banter00:27 Addressing Viewer Messages and Introductions00:47 Losing and Finding the Phone02:04 Mental Health Questions and Therapy Advice07:08 Perception and Reality16:48 Faith, Beliefs, and Community27:51 Parent-Child Dynamics and Emotional Health37:23 Personifying Addiction: Meet Andy38:04 The Power of Self-Identification38:51 Medication and Personal Progress41:16 Emotional Immaturity and Childhood Adaptations47:57 Navigating Family Dynamics and Acceptance01:09:08 The Importance of Genuine Curiosity

What if an entire generation is emotionally stuck in childhood—and doesn't even know it?In this ...

Are you truly being curious—or just trying to win the argument? Tony explores the difference between genuine curiosity and performative questions, sharing real-life examples and tools to help you respond with emotional maturity, not reactivity. Learn how curiosity can transform your relationships.00:00 Introduction and Host Background01:42 Understanding Performative vs. Genuine Curiosity02:04 A Personal Story About Curiosity08:50 The Importance of Genuine Curiosity in Relationships19:10 Self-Regulation and Emotional Maturity24:18 Promoting Genuine Curiosity in Parenting26:17 The Role of Humility in Curiosity29:41 Healthy Ego vs. Defensive Narcissism35:03 The Neuroscience of Decision Making and Emotions37:06 The Power of Slowing Down37:36 Understanding Emotions: Primary, Secondary, and Instrumental41:02 Exploring Anger in Relationships42:48 Trusting Your Gut and Emotional Reasoning45:41 Addressing Men's Emotional Immaturity48:55 Real-Life Examples of Genuine Curiosity53:42 Parenting with Curiosity55:09 Curiosity in Marriage and Workplace59:47 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Tools01:02:15 Four Pillars of a Connected Conversation01:05:20 Final Thoughts and TakeawaysContact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. 

Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, and Tony Overbay, LMFT, delve into Ethan Kross's "Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You" for another installment of the "Virtual Couch Book Club." They explore emotional awareness, sensory shifts, and cultural influences on emotional well-being. Practical techniques, such as distant self-talk and the Whoop framework (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan), are covered, offering listeners actionable strategies for emotional management. Tony opens the episode by explaining how common parental phrases, such as "it's not a big deal" or "just don't worry about it," can unintentionally hinder emotional expression in adulthood, setting the stage for struggles with managing emotions later in life. This discussion offers valuable insights for individuals seeking to understand better and manage their emotions.00:00 A Touching Parenting Moment02:22 Introduction to the Virtual Couch02:31 Book Club: Managing Emotions03:16 The Importance of Emotional Awareness03:37 Understanding Emotional Language04:44 The Disconnect from Emotions06:01 Introducing Dr. Ethan Cross's 'Shift'06:23 Meet Marla Christiansen07:33 Exploring Emotional Concepts from 'Shift'07:46 The Complexity of Emotions08:05 Practical Tools for Emotional Management08:20 The Power of Distanced Self-Talk08:37 External Influences on Emotions09:02 Body Awareness and Emotions09:12 Navigating Difficult Emotions09:24 Impact of Social Media and Cultural Factors09:37 Appreciating Emotions as Information10:18 Book Club Discussion: 'Shift' by Dr. Ethan Cross10:30 Starting the Interview with Marla Christensen11:24 Diving into Emotional Regulation11:43 Book Club Insights and Personal Reflections22:58 The Law of Least Work25:01 Exploring Low-Cost Emotional Shifts25:40 Understanding Attention and Perspective26:10 Navigating Emotional Avoidance and Approach27:27 The Power of Reframing

What if the very strategies that saved you as a child are now sabotaging your adult relationships?In Part 2 of Tony's series on emotional immaturity, discover why your most persistent relationship struggles aren't character flaws—they're outdated survival software still running in the background of your life.Through the powerful ACT metaphor of "The Man in the Hole," you'll understand why working harder with familiar emotional tools only digs you deeper into relationship problems. When someone offers you a ladder out of your patterns, why do you keep trying to dig with it instead? This episode reveals how to recognize when it's time to put down the shovel of old coping strategies and climb toward something completely different.Meet the clients who've made this transformation: the chronic fixer who learned to ask "what do you need from me?" instead of immediately solving, the humor-deflector who shocked a room into silence by sharing something real, and the lifelong people-pleaser whose hands shook as she said "no" for the first time—and discovered her marriage actually got stronger.You'll explore Terry Real's revolutionary insight that childhood adaptations become adult roadblocks, learn the art of re-parenting yourself with compassion instead of criticism, and discover why emotional maturity isn't about never falling into old patterns—it's about recognizing when you're there and having new tools to respond.Whether you struggle with hypervigilance, perfectionism, control issues, or people-pleasing tendencies, this episode offers a shame-free framework for honoring your inner child's brilliant survival strategies while empowering your adult self to take the lead. Because growth isn't about eliminating your protective parts—it's about expanding your repertoire of responses and choosing consciously instead of reacting automatically.Ready to stop digging and start climbing? Your ladder awaits.00:00 Introduction and Recap01:23 The Story of Tyler03:53 Tyler's Realization and Therapy09:39 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Metaphor15:46 Revisiting Emotional Immaturity19:30 Reparenting Yourself25:05 Examples of Reparenting in Action29:00 Exploring Emotional Immaturity Traits40:54 Recognizing and Validating Emotions42:47 Dependence on External Validation48:54 Taking Ownership and Accountability51:49 Mind Reading and Communication

Have you ever watched someone you care about repeatedly return to a relationship that's clearly hurting them, despite all logic and reason? Or found yourself unable to break free from a partner who alternates between cruel indifference and intoxicating affection? Tony Overbay, LMFT, comprehensively examines all of the factors at play in hopes of shining a light on understanding and ultimately healing from one of psychology's most misunderstood phenomena: trauma bonding.Tony explains how the same mechanisms that kept B.F. Skinner's rats frantically pressing a lever for unpredictable rewards are at work in toxic relationships. He explains the biological "amygdala hijack" that literally shuts down one's ability to think rationally when anxiety strikes and why well-meaning advice like "just don't worry about it" actually makes things worse through psychological reactance.This comprehensive episode covers:The neurological science behind trauma bonding and why it creates addiction-like withdrawal symptomsHow childhood experiences shape our relationship with emotions and set us up for unhealthy patternsWhy telling someone "don't think about it" guarantees they'll think about it moreThe critical difference between guilt ("I did something bad") and shame ("I am bad")Practical ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) techniques like expansion and mindfulnessThe powerful Buddhist salt and water metaphor for managing emotional painWhy no one—not even identical twins—experiences the world exactly as you doHow to break the cycle of seeking external validation that keeps you trappedWhether you're personally experiencing a trauma bond, supporting someone who is, or simply want to understand why people stay in painful relationships, this episode provides compassionate insight and practical tools for healing. Tony's conversational style makes complex psychological concepts accessible while offering hope that with time, understanding, and the right support, you can reclaim your emotional autonomy and build healthier connections.00:00 Introduction: The Impact of 'Say Anything'01:21 Setting the Stage: Understanding Relationship Dynamics01:50 Who This Episode is For03:10 Introduction to Trauma Bonding04:03 Welcome to the Virtual Couch04:35 Engage with Us: Social Media and Upcoming Events

Do you avoid difficult conversations, hoping problems will magically disappear? Do you convince yourself you don’t need to write things down, because of course you’ll remember later? Or maybe you catch yourself trying to be everything to everyone… and slowly losing yourself in the process?Join Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Tony Overbay and his daughter Mackie, a licensed esthetician, and cosmetologist, and host of the podcast “The Mind, the Mirror, and Me,” for a lively and insightful live Q&A. Together, they explore the sneaky ways magical thinking and emotional immaturity show up in our lives and relationships. From assuming people should “just know” what we want, to struggling with overthinking and honesty in relationships, this conversation dives deep (with plenty of humor and personal stories along the way).You’ll also hear about:* What “pick me” behavior really means and how it impacts relationships* * How magical thinking keeps us stuck (and how to move forward)* * Navigating diagnoses like borderline personality disorder and emotional immaturity* * Why honesty in relationships isn’t as simple as “just say it”* * Handling complicated family dynamics — including emotionally absent grandparents* * Tools like mindfulness and ACT-based techniques to help you change your relationship with your thoughts* Whether you're a therapist, a parent, or simply curious about emotional growth, this honest and relatable episode will leave you thinking differently about how you show up for yourself and others.00:00 Introduction and Technical Difficulties00:19 Foot Talk and Live Stream Banter01:11 Licensed Therapist Q&A Begins01:21 Understanding Narcissistic Traits02:06 Exploring the 'Pick Me' Phenomenon03:20 Therapy Insights: Finding Your True Self05:40 Addressing Borderline Personality Disorder14:05 Magical Thinking and Emotional Immaturity26:08 Mindfulness and Thought Observation Techniques27:02 The Concept of Changing Relationship with Thoughts27:32 Discussion on Honesty in Relationships31:16 Handling Family Dynamics and Expectations33:54 Understanding Bipolar Disorder vs.

Ever wondered why your brilliant mind can solve complex problems at work but completely breaks down during relationship conflicts? That's because those emotional reactions that feel so ins...

Have you ever found yourself wondering, How can someone possibly believe that? Or maybe you've questioned your own beliefs after bumping up against someone else's certainty? You're not alo...

Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, speaker, and podcast host, welcomes viewers to an engaging TikTok Live session. Joined by his daughter Mackie, Tony answers questions on various topics including relationships, mental health, and narcissism. They discuss the concept of the shadow self, the 'Let Them' theory, handling emotional triggers, and the importance of differentiation in relationships. Tony offers advice on dealing with controlling siblings, building clientele as a therapist, managing ADHD and its effects, and overcoming trust issues in relationships. They also touch on practical self-care tips and the journey of personal growth, using real-life examples and interactive discussions with their audience.00:00 Welcome to TikTok Live00:10 Introducing the Hosts00:16 Engaging with Viewers02:12 Discussing the Shadow Self04:55 Exploring Family Dynamics05:51 Romantic Relationships and Vulnerability06:35 Understanding Emotional Reactions08:07 Differentiation and Parental Influence09:59 Setting Boundaries with Parents10:47 The 'Let Them' Theory15:20 Dealing with Emotional Regression17:29 Navigating Breakups and Grief20:43 Control and Mental Health22:16 Book Recommendations for Couples24:09 Making Small Changes for Big Impact29:56 Managing Depression and Anxiety31:43 Understanding and Accepting Anxiety32:28 Facing Fears and Building Connections33:43 Navigating Negative Environments38:22 Inner Critic and Self-Acceptance42:00 Challenges in Therapy and Relationships01:01:59 Dealing with ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity01:05:20 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

When Ashlee Boyson answered her door at age 28 to find detectives bearing unimaginable news—her husband murdered, an affair revealed—she became a widow with five children, including a six-week-old baby. In this powerful episode of the Virtual Couch, Tony Overbay, LMFT,  explores how this defining moment led Ashlee to become not just a survivor but a guide for others navigating grief's complex terrain. Her groundbreaking book "One Day: A Child's Journey Through Grief and Loss," illustrated by her daughter Bostyn, takes a revolutionary approach by deliberately omitting facial expressions and colors—creating space for authentic emotions rather than prescribing how one "should" feel when grieving.Beyond the book, Tony and Ashlee dive into the messy truth of grief—how contradictory emotions can coexist, why well-intentioned comfort often invalidates emotional reality, and practical strategies for creating genuine healing. With moments of unexpected laughter amidst profound wisdom, they explore how Ashlee's journey led her to develop courses on infidelity and widowhood, practice foot zoning, and, most importantly, help parents understand that there's no "right way" to grieve. Whether you're personally experiencing loss or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers a masterclass in compassionate presence and emotional intelligence that transcends age, making it essential listening for anyone seeking to process grief authentically.00:00 Introduction and Announcements01:35 Introducing Ashley Boyson02:10 Ashley's Incredible Story03:27 Ashley's Journey Through Grief03:54 Discussing Ashley's New Book12:04 The Healing Power of Foot Zoning17:40 The Importance of Emotional Awareness26:35 Addressing Children's Emotional Pain27:06 Recognizing and Validating Emotions27:45 Personal Experiences with Suppressed Emotions28:52 Navigating Grief and Loss30:33 Complex Emotions and Healing31:30 The Importance of Open Communication32:25 Balancing Past and Future Fears34:11 Encouraging Emotional Expression in Children35:51 Handling Grief Triggers43:45 The Role of Truth in Healing46:21 Final Thoughts and Resources

What happens when two first responders fall in love, face career, life, and faith crises, and embark on a radical journey of healing? How do couples navigate from survival mode to genuine connection after years of chaos and trauma?Tony welcomes Steph and Craig Salazar, the authentic couple behind the popular podcast "The Steph and Craig Show." What begins as a reunion of newfound friends quickly transforms into a profound exploration of relationship transformation, personal growth, and the messy beauty of healing together.Steph and Craig share their remarkable journey from meeting as a police officer and dispatcher to becoming relationship content creators who are changing lives through radical vulnerability. They don't hold back as they discuss the chaos of their early relationship—blending families, career crises, mental health struggles, and the imbalanced dynamics that nearly tore them apart.Listen as they reveal the pivotal moments that shifted their path: Craig's life-changing men's retreat that Steph secretly feared might end their relationship, Steph's breaking point in her dispatch career and her courageous pivot to follow her dreams, and how they both found healing through therapy, spiritual practices, and even psychedelic-assisted healing experiences.This conversation isn't about relationship experts who have it all figured out. It's about two people who've "taken the scenic route" through life's challenges, hitting every obstacle along the way, and discovering that true connection happens when we heal individually first.Whether you're facing relationship challenges, navigating career transitions, or doing your own healing work, this episode offers profound insights wrapped in genuine, heartfelt conversation. Steph and Craig's mission to create a mirror where others might see themselves and feel less alone in their struggles shines through every moment of this unforgettable discussion.Join Tony, Steph, and Craig for a conversation that proves we're all healing together—one vulnerable step at a time. The Steph and Craig Show is available at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-steph-craig-show/id1742462702 or wherever you listen to podcasts, as well as on YouTube. You can find the episode that Tony references on their show at https://youtu.be/n_LiTO_nt5w?si=GAmnZF3rFdh7QPFH (https://youtu.be/n_LiTO_nt5w?si=GAmnZF3rFdh7QPFH) 00:00 Introduction and Welcome01:07 Special Guests: Steph and Craig01:49 The Transformative Podcast Episode02:22 Authenticity and Vulnerability03:35 The Journey of Steph and Craig04:03 Career Transitions and Challenges04:39 The Scenic Route to Healing

Every couple starts their marriage journey with hearts full of hope and eyes bright with optimism. But what happens when the fairy tale meets reality? In this compelling episode of the Virtual Couch, marriage therapist Tony Overbay takes listeners on an intimate journey through the evolution of marriage, sparked by his observation of a young newlywed couple, Hannah and Cody, during a recent podcast interview.Drawing from over 20 years of experience as a marriage therapist, Tony bridges the gap between those magical early days and the complex reality that many couples face years into their marriage. He addresses the common refrain of "just wait until..." that many newlyweds hear, while offering hope and practical tools for couples at all stages of their relationship.Key insights include:- The power of intentional curiosity in long-term relationships- Why emotional maturity matters more than initial chemistry- The critical balance between self-care and partner care- How to maintain individual growth while nurturing your relationship- The four pillars of connected conversation that can transform your communicationTony shares vulnerable moments from his own 34-year marriage journey, demonstrating how the principles he teaches aren't just theoretical—they're battle-tested. He tackles the delicate balance between maintaining individual identity and building a strong partnership, offering practical insights for both newlyweds and seasoned couples.Whether you're basking in newlywed bliss like Hannah and Cody or navigating the complexities of a decades-long partnership, this episode provides a roadmap for understanding how to evolve together while maintaining the spark that brought you together in the first place. Tony's unique perspective helps couples understand that while change is inevitable in marriage, it doesn't have to mean growing apart—it can mean growing together in new and deeper ways.This episode is essential listening for:- Newlywed couples wanting to build a strong foundation- Long-term couples seeking to reconnect or deepen their bond- Anyone curious about the real journey from romantic love to lasting partnership- Couples wanting practical tools for better communication and understandingJoin Tony as he unpacks these insights and more, offering both hope and practical strategies for couples at any stage of their marriage journey.Follow the Q&A Files Podcast on Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b)