🎭 Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou… eBay? 🕊️
— The Ostrich Report, Week 4: A Love Song for a Platform That Ghosted Us
Oh eBay, thou ancient temptress of the trade,
Whose listings once made hearts and PayPal swoon.
We sung thy glory 'fore Amazon did invade,
Now all that’s left—a dusty Deals tab strewn.
Thy Turbo Lister—curse its cruel lag!
Thy categories, like ghosts, do rearrange.
Still, thou art our first love, warts and all,
Even if thy homepage smells strangely... vintage.
In this week’s tale, Hendrik and I do pine,
For the days of Beanie Babies and DSL.
But mid our praise, we misquote half thy timeline,
And accidentally call Pierre "Phil" (our bad, farewell).
💔 Yet love is blind—and so are we—with no sponsor still to pay our fee.
👁️ Watch us stumble, sigh, and maybe learn... or not.
📦 We ask: Can you still sell your soul on eBay... and get next-day shipping?
👉 Hit play. Send us love. Send us sponsors. Or at least a decent offer with free returns.
#eBay #MarketplaceNostalgia #TheOstrichReport #SatiricalCommerce #SponsorUsPlease #PierreForgiveUs #RomeoWasAFiveStarSeller
Welcome, shoppers and shippers, to the world's most hilariously overstocked channel, lovingly called 'The V spot'! 🎬🤣 Your one-stop-shop for a light-hearted stroll through the chaotic, box-filled alleys of retail and ecommerce worldwide. 🌍📦 Your favourite host here (that's me! 😎), with a sense of humor that's been labeled 'Prime' by critics, guarantees that our videos have more punchlines per minute than your average checkout line on Black Friday. 🛍️⏱️ In our newest video, we unbox the absurdities of the retail industry and parcel out the funniest quirks of ecommerce, all delivered to your screen faster than your last Amazon order. We've got everything from jabs at uncannily targeted ads (Who told them I needed a unicorn onesie? 🦄), to the perils of deciphering online product reviews. (5 stars: "It's okay" vs. 1 star: "Changed my life but arrived 2 minutes late" 🌟😕). This isn't just another sales pitch, folks. Here, we have a 'Buy one, laugh forever' deal running all year long. And remember, refunds are not allowed; we believe laughter is the only policy. 💸😆 So sit back, click that subscribe button, and let's get ready to ROFL through the weird and wonderful world of retail and ecommerce. If you’ve ever been down the rabbit hole of online shopping at 3 a.m. or lost your will to live in a crowded mall, you've come to the right place. Join the laugh riot with hashtags #EcommComedyCentral, #RetailRidiculousness, #AddToCartLaughs #retail #ecommerce #strategy and remember to keep your sense of humor signed in at all times! See you in the comments, folks. Until then, happy scrolling and stay hilarious! 🛒💻🔥🚀
Welcome, shoppers and shippers, to the world's most hilariously overstocked channel, lovingly called 'The V spot'! 🎬🤣 Your one-stop-shop for a light-hearted stroll through the chaotic, box-filled alleys of retail and ecommerce worldwide. 🌍📦 Your favourite host here (that's me! 😎), with a sense of humor that's been labeled 'Prime' by critics, guarantees that our videos have more punchlines per minute than your average checkout line on Black Friday. 🛍️⏱️ In our newest video, we unbox the absurdities of the retail industry and parcel out the funniest quirks of ecommerce, all delivered to your screen faster than your last Amazon order. We've got everything from jabs at uncannily targeted ads (Who told them I needed a unicorn onesie? 🦄), to the perils of deciphering online product reviews. (5 stars: "It's okay" vs. 1 star: "Changed my life but arrived 2 minutes late" 🌟😕). This isn't just another sales pitch, folks. Here, we have a 'Buy one, laugh forever' deal running all year long. And remember, refunds are not allowed; we believe laughter is the only policy. 💸😆 So sit back, click that subscribe button, and let's get ready to ROFL through the weird and wonderful world of retail and ecommerce. If you’ve ever been down the rabbit hole of online shopping at 3 a.m. or lost your will to live in a crowded mall, you've come to the right place. Join the laugh riot with hashtags #EcommComedyCentral, #RetailRidiculousness, #AddToCartLaughs #retail #ecommerce #strategy and remember to keep your sense of humor signed in at all times! See you in the comments, folks. Until then, happy scrolling and stay hilarious! 🛒💻🔥🚀
Welcome, shoppers and shippers, to the world's most hilariously overstocked channel, lovingly called 'The V spot'! 🎬🤣 Your one-stop-shop for a light-hearted stroll through the chaotic, box-filled alleys of retail and ecommerce worldwide. 🌍📦 Your favourite host here (that's me! 😎), with a sense of humor that's been labeled 'Prime' by critics, guarantees that our videos have more punchlines per minute than your average checkout line on Black Friday. 🛍️⏱️ In our newest video, we unbox the absurdities of the retail industry and parcel out the funniest quirks of ecommerce, all delivered to your screen faster than your last Amazon order. We've got everything from jabs at uncannily targeted ads (Who told them I needed a unicorn onesie? 🦄), to the perils of deciphering online product reviews. (5 stars: "It's okay" vs. 1 star: "Changed my life but arrived 2 minutes late" 🌟😕). This isn't just another sales pitch, folks. Here, we have a 'Buy one, laugh forever' deal running all year long. And remember, refunds are not allowed; we believe laughter is the only policy. 💸😆 So sit back, click that subscribe button, and let's get ready to ROFL through the weird and wonderful world of retail and ecommerce. If you’ve ever been down the rabbit hole of online shopping at 3 a.m. or lost your will to live in a crowded mall, you've come to the right place. Join the laugh riot with hashtags #EcommComedyCentral, #RetailRidiculousness, #AddToCartLaughs #retail #ecommerce #strategy and remember to keep your sense of humor signed in at all times! See you in the comments, folks. Until then, happy scrolling and stay hilarious! 🛒💻🔥🚀
Welcome, shoppers and shippers, to the world's most hilariously overstocked channel, lovingly called 'The V spot'! 🎬🤣 Your one-stop-shop for a light-hearted stroll through the chaotic, box-filled alleys of retail and ecommerce worldwide. 🌍📦 Your favourite host here (that's me! 😎), with a sense of humor that's been labeled 'Prime' by critics, guarantees that our videos have more punchlines per minute than your average checkout line on Black Friday. 🛍️⏱️ In our newest video, we unbox the absurdities of the retail industry and parcel out the funniest quirks of ecommerce, all delivered to your screen faster than your last Amazon order. We've got everything from jabs at uncannily targeted ads (Who told them I needed a unicorn onesie? 🦄), to the perils of deciphering online product reviews. (5 stars: "It's okay" vs. 1 star: "Changed my life but arrived 2 minutes late" 🌟😕). This isn't just another sales pitch, folks. Here, we have a 'Buy one, laugh forever' deal running all year long. And remember, refunds are not allowed; we believe laughter is the only policy. 💸😆 So sit back, click that subscribe button, and let's get ready to ROFL through the weird and wonderful world of retail and ecommerce. If you’ve ever been down the rabbit hole of online shopping at 3 a.m. or lost your will to live in a crowded mall, you've come to the right place. Join the laugh riot with hashtags #EcommComedyCentral, #RetailRidiculousness, #AddToCartLaughs #retail #ecommerce #strategy and remember to keep your sense of humor signed in at all times! See you in the comments, folks. Until then, happy scrolling and stay hilarious! 🛒💻🔥🚀
Welcome, shoppers and shippers, to the world's most hilariously overstocked channel, lovingly called 'The V spot'! 🎬🤣 Your one-stop-shop for a light-hearted stroll through the chaotic, box-filled alleys of retail and ecommerce worldwide. 🌍📦 Your favourite host here (that's me! 😎), with a sense of humor that's been labeled 'Prime' by critics, guarantees that our videos have more punchlines per minute than your average checkout line on Black Friday. 🛍️⏱️ In our newest video, we unbox the absurdities of the retail industry and parcel out the funniest quirks of ecommerce, all delivered to your screen faster than your last Amazon order. We've got everything from jabs at uncannily targeted ads (Who told them I needed a unicorn onesie? 🦄), to the perils of deciphering online product reviews. (5 stars: "It's okay" vs. 1 star: "Changed my life but arrived 2 minutes late" 🌟😕). This isn't just another sales pitch, folks. Here, we have a 'Buy one, laugh forever' deal running all year long. And remember, refunds are not allowed; we believe laughter is the only policy. 💸😆 So sit back, click that subscribe button, and let's get ready to ROFL through the weird and wonderful world of retail and ecommerce. If you’ve ever been down the rabbit hole of online shopping at 3 a.m. or lost your will to live in a crowded mall, you've come to the right place. Join the laugh riot with hashtags #EcommComedyCentral, #RetailRidiculousness, #AddToCartLaughs #retail #ecommerce #strategy and remember to keep your sense of humor signed in at all times! See you in the comments, folks. Until then, happy scrolling and stay hilarious! 🛒💻🔥🚀
Welcome, shoppers and shippers, to the world's most hilariously overstocked channel, lovingly called 'The V spot'! 🎬🤣 Your one-stop-shop for a light-hearted stroll through the chaotic, box-filled alleys of retail and ecommerce worldwide. 🌍📦 Your favourite host here (that's me! 😎), with a sense of humor that's been labeled 'Prime' by critics, guarantees that our videos have more punchlines per minute than your average checkout line on Black Friday. 🛍️⏱️ In our newest video, we unbox the absurdities of the retail industry and parcel out the funniest quirks of ecommerce, all delivered to your screen faster than your last Amazon order. We've got everything from jabs at uncannily targeted ads (Who told them I needed a unicorn onesie? 🦄), to the perils of deciphering online product reviews. (5 stars: "It's okay" vs. 1 star: "Changed my life but arrived 2 minutes late" 🌟😕). This isn't just another sales pitch, folks. Here, we have a 'Buy one, laugh forever' deal running all year long. And remember, refunds are not allowed; we believe laughter is the only policy. 💸😆 So sit back, click that subscribe button, and let's get ready to ROFL through the weird and wonderful world of retail and ecommerce. If you’ve ever been down the rabbit hole of online shopping at 3 a.m. or lost your will to live in a crowded mall, you've come to the right place. Join the laugh riot with hashtags #EcommComedyCentral, #RetailRidiculousness, #AddToCartLaughs #retail #ecommerce #strategy and remember to keep your sense of humor signed in at all times! See you in the comments, folks. Until then, happy scrolling and stay hilarious! 🛒💻🔥🚀
Welcome, shoppers and shippers, to the world's most hilariously overstocked channel, lovingly called 'The V spot'! 🎬🤣 Your one-stop-shop for a light-hearted stroll through the chaotic, box-filled alleys of retail and ecommerce worldwide. 🌍📦 Your favourite host here (that's me! 😎), with a sense of humor that's been labeled 'Prime' by critics, guarantees that our videos have more punchlines per minute than your average checkout line on Black Friday. 🛍️⏱️ In our newest video, we unbox the absurdities of the retail industry and parcel out the funniest quirks of ecommerce, all delivered to your screen faster than your last Amazon order. We've got everything from jabs at uncannily targeted ads (Who told them I needed a unicorn onesie? 🦄), to the perils of deciphering online product reviews. (5 stars: "It's okay" vs. 1 star: "Changed my life but arrived 2 minutes late" 🌟😕). This isn't just another sales pitch, folks. Here, we have a 'Buy one, laugh forever' deal running all year long. And remember, refunds are not allowed; we believe laughter is the only policy. 💸😆 So sit back, click that subscribe button, and let's get ready to ROFL through the weird and wonderful world of retail and ecommerce. If you’ve ever been down the rabbit hole of online shopping at 3 a.m. or lost your will to live in a crowded mall, you've come to the right place. Join the laugh riot with hashtags #EcommComedyCentral, #RetailRidiculousness, #AddToCartLaughs #retail #ecommerce #strategy and remember to keep your sense of humor signed in at all times! See you in the comments, folks. Until then, happy scrolling and stay hilarious! 🛒💻🔥🚀
Welcome, shoppers and shippers, to the world's most hilariously overstocked channel, lovingly called 'The V spot'! 🎬🤣 Your one-stop-shop for a light-hearted stroll through the chaotic, box-filled alleys of retail and ecommerce worldwide. 🌍📦 Your favourite host here (that's me! 😎), with a sense of humor that's been labeled 'Prime' by critics, guarantees that our videos have more punchlines per minute than your average checkout line on Black Friday. 🛍️⏱️ In our newest video, we unbox the absurdities of the retail industry and parcel out the funniest quirks of ecommerce, all delivered to your screen faster than your last Amazon order. We've got everything from jabs at uncannily targeted ads (Who told them I needed a unicorn onesie? 🦄), to the perils of deciphering online product reviews. (5 stars: "It's okay" vs. 1 star: "Changed my life but arrived 2 minutes late" 🌟😕). This isn't just another sales pitch, folks. Here, we have a 'Buy one, laugh forever' deal running all year long. And remember, refunds are not allowed; we believe laughter is the only policy. 💸😆 So sit back, click that subscribe button, and let's get ready to ROFL through the weird and wonderful world of retail and ecommerce. If you’ve ever been down the rabbit hole of online shopping at 3 a.m. or lost your will to live in a crowded mall, you've come to the right place. Join the laugh riot with hashtags #EcommComedyCentral, #RetailRidiculousness, #AddToCartLaughs #retail #ecommerce #strategy and remember to keep your sense of humor signed in at all times! See you in the comments, folks. Until then, happy scrolling and stay hilarious! 🛒💻🔥🚀
Welcome, shoppers and shippers, to the world's most hilariously overstocked channel, lovingly called 'The V spot'! 🎬🤣 Your one-stop-shop for a light-hearted stroll through the chaotic, box-filled alleys of retail and ecommerce worldwide. 🌍📦
Your favourite host here (that's me! 😎), with a sense of humor that's been labeled 'Prime' by critics, guarantees that our videos have more punchlines per minute than your average checkout line on Black Friday. 🛍️⏱️
In our newest video, we unbox the absurdities of the retail industry and parcel out the funniest quirks of ecommerce, all delivered to your screen faster than your last Amazon order. We've got everything from jabs at uncannily targeted ads (Who told them I needed a unicorn onesie? 🦄), to the perils of deciphering online product reviews. (5 stars: "It's okay" vs. 1 star: "Changed my life but arrived 2 minutes late" 🌟😕).
This isn't just another sales pitch, folks. Here, we have a 'Buy one, laugh forever' deal running all year long. And remember, refunds are not allowed; we believe laughter is the only policy. 💸😆
So sit back, click that subscribe button, and let's get ready to ROFL through the weird and wonderful world of retail and ecommerce. If you’ve ever been down the rabbit hole of online shopping at 3 a.m. or lost your will to live in a crowded mall, you've come to the right place.
Join the laugh riot with hashtags #EcommComedyCentral, #RetailRidiculousness, #AddToCartLaughs #retail #ecommerce #strategy and remember to keep your sense of humor signed in at all times!