🎭 Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou… eBay? 🕊️
— The Ostrich Report, Week 4: A Love Song for a Platform That Ghosted Us

Oh eBay, thou ancient temptress of the trade,
Whose listings once made hearts and PayPal swoon.
We sung thy glory 'fore Amazon did invade,
Now all that’s left—a dusty Deals tab strewn.

Thy Turbo Lister—curse its cruel lag!
Thy categories, like ghosts, do rearrange.
Still, thou art our first love, warts and all,
Even if thy homepage smells strangely... vintage.

In this week’s tale, Hendrik and I do pine,
For the days of Beanie Babies and DSL.
But mid our praise, we misquote half thy timeline,
And accidentally call Pierre "Phil" (our bad, farewell).

💔 Yet love is blind—and so are we—with no sponsor still to pay our fee.
👁️ Watch us stumble, sigh, and maybe learn... or not.
📦 We ask: Can you still sell your soul on eBay... and get next-day shipping?

👉 Hit play. Send us love. Send us sponsors. Or at least a decent offer with free returns.

#eBay #MarketplaceNostalgia #TheOstrichReport #SatiricalCommerce #SponsorUsPlease #PierreForgiveUs #RomeoWasAFiveStarSeller