We all know gossip doesn’t feel good — but why do we still do it?
In this episode, Jessie unpacks Brené Brown’s concept of common enemy intimacy — that counterfeit sense of closeness we get when we “hotwire connection” by bonding over who or what we both dislike. It feels like connection, but it’s actually built on judgment, not truth.
From cancel culture to middle school mean-girl dynamics to adult friendships built on shared negativity, Jessie explores what gossip does to our relationships, and what it reveals inside us. Using insights from Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and faith, she shares how gossip often comes from protective parts longing to belong — and how we can transform those impulses into real, lasting connection.
If you’ve ever caught yourself joining in on gossip, this episode offers both grace and guidance.
👉 Learn more at www.steadfastchristiancounseling.com
💬 Book a free consultation at https://sccandcic.janeapp.com
Episode Description (for podcast platforms & webpage intro):
If you’ve ever caught yourself apologizing for feeling deeply or shrinking to make someone else more comfortable, this episode is for you.
In this deeply honest conversation, Jessie unpacks the “too much” part that many women carry — the part that believes that being authentic risks rejection or disconnection. Using Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, she explains how our inner world includes exiles (the tender parts that carry pain or fear) and protectors (the parts that keep us safe by controlling, explaining, or accommodating).
Through this practical and faith-rooted conversation, you’ll learn to:
Recognize your “too much” part as a hurting, not broken, part of you
Understand how protectors like resentment or accommodation show up
Shift from performance to presence in your relationships
Reclaim your authentic, faith-grounded voice
This episode also weaves in examples from Inside Out and Taylor Swift’s “The Eldest Daughter” as illustrations of how protectors and exiles work inside us — and how healing begins when we let the tender parts speak.
If you’re ready to do this kind of work in therapy, visit www.steadfastchristiancounseling.com or schedule a free consultation at sccandcic.janeapp.com.
In this short but powerful episode, Jessie from Steadfast Christian Counseling in Charleston, SC, shares how to train both your mind and body to find calm on purpose. Drawing from cognitive behavioral therapy, somatic regulation, and faith-based grounding, she walks you through simple daily steps to move from chaos to clarity.
You’ll learn how to:
Interrupt anxious thought loops and restore focus
Use body-based tools (like breathing, posture, and movement) to settle your nervous system
Reframe fear-based thoughts through faith and truth
Experience peace as something you can practice, not just pray for
This episode is a perfect reset for anyone feeling stretched thin, stuck in stress, or longing to live with steadier peace.
🎧 Listen now and explore other episodes at
👉 www.steadfastchristiancounseling.com
or schedule a free consultation at
👉 sccandcic.janeapp.com
Steadfast therapists (and Swifties) Jessie Evans, Emily Coomer, and Annalise Lind unpack Taylor Swift’s Life of a Showgirl through Internal Family Systems and attachment theory—zooming in on “Eldest Daughter,” “Father Figure,” “Opalite,” “Cancelled,” and more. Parts work, resilience, public vs. private selves, and why the harmonies might be her parts “singing together.” Come nerd out with us.
Book a consult: Book Online | Steadfast Christian Counseling
Follow on Instagram: @steadfastchristiancounseling
Subscribe: New episodes every Tuesday.
Steadfast Christian Counseling Counselors Jessie Evans and Tiff Holdgate sit down with therapist and author Dr. Andrew J. Bauman to talk about his book Safe Church and the hard, hopeful work of making churches safer for women and survivors. Andrew shares parts of his story, what his research with ~2,800 women working in churches reveals about sexism and abuse, where bad theology does real harm, and practical steps any community can take right now: start honest conversations, use trusted resources, increase diversity in leadership, implement clear policies, and require real accountability. If you’ve ever wondered how to love the Church while telling the truth about its wounds—this one’s for you.
Dr. Andrew J. Bauman — therapist, author, and co-founder of the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health & Trauma. He writes and teaches on trauma recovery, sexuality, and faith, advocating for survivor-centered, theologically sound church cultures.
Web: christiancc.org • andrewjbauman.com
Join the Trauma Informed Church Collaborative
The Steadfast Podcast is a Production of Steadfast Christian Counseling in Charleston, SC. visit www.steadfastchristiancounseling.com for more information about our services or to book a free consultation.
In this episode of The Steadfast Podcast, Jessie Evans, counselor and owner of Steadfast Christian Counseling in Charleston, SC, takes a spontaneous detour from her planned topic on anxiety to share a raw, motivating reflection on freedom, agency, and the cages we often build for ourselves.
Jessie invites listeners to consider:
Are you walking in the freedom you already have?
How we can unconsciously live on autopilot in patterns shaped by shame, insecurity, or old wounds.
What it means to move from reactivity to agency, not only in relationships but also in how we approach our identity and choices.
The “emotional cages” we voluntarily walk into—and how unpacking our stuff means recognizing and stepping out of them.
The beauty of small boundaries and decisions that begin to change the course of our lives.
Along the way, Jessie shares:
A laugh-out-loud conversation from the baseball stands about midlife, weighted vests, and chin hairs.
The strength and clarity that can come in our forties when we look honestly at the “suitcase” of our lives.
This episode is equal parts funny, practical, and deeply encouraging—urging you to identify what freedom looks like for you emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and relationally.
“You have the authority to put those things in the trash that don’t apply to you.”
Identify the cages you’ve built—habits, insecurities, or beliefs—and ask if they’re keeping you from fullness of life.
Make a list: what does freedom look like emotionally, mentally, spiritually, relationally?
Notice when you’re walking in those boundaries vs. retreating to old patterns.
Remember: therapy can help you sort through the “spaghetti bowl” of thoughts and experiences so you can see the strands clearly.
Freedom is possible. Agency is possible. Small steps and boundaries create lasting change.
Learn more and schedule a consultation at www.steadfastchristiancounseling.com
Chocolate milk, no coffee, and a very real chat about why we react the way we do. Jessie and Steadfast therapist Annalise Lind unpack Internal Family Systems (IFS): protectors, managers, firefighters, and the tender exiles they guard. We talk postpartum intrusive thoughts, inner critics, and why curiosity is often the gateway to compassion. With nods to Inside Out 2, EMDR’s bilateral movement, and the faith lens of a spirit‑led self, this episode gives you language and tools to move from reactivity to repair—so you can calm through big feelings, not just “calm down.”
You’ll learn
Managers vs. Firefighters: how protectors show up (achievement, anxiety, numbing, scrolling) and what they’re guarding
Postpartum examples: intrusive thoughts as protectors, shutdown as a temporary safety strategy
The Eight C’s of core Self (calm, curious, compassionate, confident, clear, courageous, creative, connected)
“Unblending” and befriending parts without shame; why there are no bad parts
A simple faith‑integrated flow: In → Up → Out (attune inward, invite God near, then engage others)
Nervous-system tips: walks, bilateral movement, buying time with phrases like “Tell me more…”
visit www.steadfastchristiancounseling.com to schedule today
What happens when church teachings about sex and marriage are rooted more in obligation than intimacy? Author and researcher Sheila Wray Gregoire joins Jessie Evans and Tiff Holdgate to unpack damaging messages like “wives owe sex on demand” and “husbands make the final decision,” and shares what the data actually shows about healthy, faith-honoring marriages.
We talk about the real marriage killer (mental load, not disagreements about money or sex) and small steps couples can take today toward consent, security, and partnership.
📚 Resources & Links:
• Bare Marriage: baremarriage.com
• Books: The Great Sex Rescue, She Deserves Better, The Marriage You Want
• Instagram: @sheilagregoire
• YouTube: Sheila Wray Gregoire
• Substack: sheilagregoire.substack.com• Facebook: facebook.com/sheila.gregoire.books
💡 Need counseling support? Steadfast Christian Counseling helps couples build secure attachment, rebalance mental load, and rediscover intimacy—without abandoning faith.
👉 Book a session: sccandcic.janeapp.com
• Website: steadfastchristiancounseling.com
This Week on The Steadfast Podcast: Attachment 101
What exactly is attachment—and why does it matter for your parenting, your marriage, and even the way you see God? In this week’s episode, Jessie breaks down Attachment 101 in simple, practical language for everyday moms and dads.
You’ll learn:
The four main attachment styles explained simply.
How to recognize your own patterns in stressful moments.
Parenting phrases and behaviors that encourage security (and ones to avoid).
Common objections parents have—like “What if my child is overreacting?” or “What if I don’t have an hour every night?”—and practical answers.
Why secure attachment can be built at any stage of life.
If today’s episode stirred something in you, you don’t have to carry that alone. Therapy can be a safe place to unpack your story, notice patterns, and begin building healthier connections. That’s exactly what we do every day at Steadfast Christian Counseling.
👉 Learn more or book an appointment at steadfastchristiancounseling.com.
After-school hours can feel chaotic, but they’re also some of the best opportunities to build secure attachment with your kids. In this episode of The Steadfast Podcast, Jessie Evans, MEd, LPC and founder of Steadfast Christian Counseling in Charleston, SC, shares 3 ½ simple rhythms that parents can use to connect with their children, offer coregulation, and strengthen relationships at every age.
From the first five minutes after school, to snack time, to playful presence, to tiny but powerful micro-gestures of delight — these practices help kids feel safe, seen, and supported. Jessie also unpacks why attunement is like being a great middle infielder in baseball, always paying attention and ready to respond, and she reminds us that the true secret to secure attachment isn’t perfection — it’s repair.
At Steadfast Christian Counseling, we believe that parents don’t have to do this alone. Therapy can be a vital space to unpack your own story, grow in self-awareness, and show up more fully for the next generation.
In this episode you’ll learn:
3 ½ rhythms that create connection after school
How coregulation helps your child settle and feel safe
Simple ways to strengthen your “attunement muscle”
Why repair (not perfection) is the key ingredient to secure attachment
Stay tuned until the end for a spotlight on Steadfast therapist Annalise , and a preview of next week’s episode, Attachment 101.
📖 Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
The Joy Switch by Chris Coursey → View on Amazon
To learn more or book a session with a Steadfast counselor, visit us at steadfastchristiancounseling.com.
What if emotions are not the enemy but a vital part of following Jesus? Jessie Evans is joined by researcher and writer Becky Castle Miller, along with Steadfast team members Tiff Holdgate and Annalise Lind, to explore the psychology and theology of emotions—how our brains construct them, how Jesus discipled his followers emotionally, and how the church can engage emotional health more faithfully.
This episode is produced by Steadfast Christian Counseling in Charleston, SC. Our team of licensed therapists helps people of all ages work through trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship struggles with a Christ-centered, research-informed approach. Learn more at steadfastchristiancounseling.com.
Key themes include:
Emotions as meaning-making processes of body + mind
Jesus as a teacher of emotions (joy, compassion, enemy love)
Trauma responses, IFS therapy, and discipleship
Why mistranslating “anxiety” in scripture harms people
Neurodivergence and emotional regulation challenges
Emotions, intuition, and recovery from spiritual abuse
Timestamps
00:01 – Welcome + introducing Becky Castle Miller
01:08 – Defining what “emotion” really means
05:00 – How Jesus discipled his followers emotionally
09:15 – Trauma-informed parenting and naming emotions
11:13 – A “third way” of engaging emotions in faith and culture
13:54 – Differentiating emotions, trauma responses, and IFS “parts”
16:30 – Becky’s personal story: emotional suppression, counseling, and healing
19:49 – Seminary, PhD research, and women bringing sound scholarship to the church
22:19 – Neurodivergence and challenges in emotional regulation
26:59 – Mistranslating “anxiety” in Scripture
31:18 – Co-regulation, not condemnation
33:09 – Rethinking “the heart is deceitful”
40:00 – Emotions, intuition, and spiritual abuse
42:36 – Misogyny + anti-emotionalism in evangelical culture
43:26 – Where to find Becky + her upcoming book
46:08 – Recommended books
47:16 – Closing reflections
Resources & Links:
Website: beckycastlemiller.com
Substack: beckycastlemiller.substack.com
Instagram: @wholeemotion
Jesus Was (Becky’s chapter “Jesus Was Emotional”) – Kregel Publishing
Following King Jesus by Scot McKnight & Becky Castle Miller – Amazon
Post-Traumatic Jesus by David Peters – Amazon
How Emotions Are Made by Lisa Feldman Barrett – Amazon | TED Talk
Between Us by Batja Mesquita – Amazon
Welcome to Season 3 of The Steadfast Podcast — a Christian counseling podcast designed to meet you with clarity, compassion, and encouragement in the middle of everyday life. Presented by Steadfast Christian Counseling in Charleston, SC.
Whether you’re folding laundry, driving to work, or catching a quiet moment between parenting tasks, these 30-minute weekly episodes are here to give you space to reflect, learn, and grow.
Conversations about anxiety, trauma, marriage, parenting, and faith
Practical insights from licensed counselors to help you better understand yourself and your relationships
Honest discussions about spiritual wounds, church hurt, and emotional well-being
Guest interviews with trusted voices in mental health and Christian living
Becky Castle Miller – Researcher exploring the emotions of Jesus in Luke and how Christians can build healthier emotional lives.
Sheila Wray Gregoire – Bestselling author tackling harmful marriage messages and offering healthier, biblical alternatives.
Adam Young – Therapist and podcast host, helping us reflect on how our stories shape us and how we can grow through them.
Kimberly Miller – Co-author of Boundaries for Your Soul, blending Internal Family Systems therapy with faith.
Dr. Andrew J. Bauman – Author addressing shame, church safety, and emotional well-being with courage and compassion.
You’ll also hear from the Steadfast Christian Counseling team in Charleston, SC, sharing insights from their trauma-informed counseling work rooted in faith.
Episodes are short, approachable, and practical
Rooted in faith, but always real and relatable
Centered on growth, resilience, and connection
Warm, invitational, never clinical or stuffy
🌐 Website: steadfastchristiancounseling.com
📱 Instagram: @steadfastcounseling
🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you subscribe
▶️ Watch episodes and shorts on YouTube
📩 Join our newsletter for weekly takeaways and resources
In this episode of The Steadfast Podcast, Jessie Evans, founder of Steadfast Christian Counseling, dives into a common but unspoken pressure many ministry leaders, therapists, and helpers face: the myth of omnicompetence — the belief that we should be able to meet every need, solve every problem, and never need help ourselves.You’ll learn:What the myth of omnicompetence is and why it shows up in faith spacesHow unprocessed trauma can fuel over-functioning in leadershipWhen to refer someone to a therapist — and why it’s a loving actWho’s who in the mental health world (LPCs, LMFTs, Psychologists, and more)How boundaries protect both leaders and those they serveWhy trauma-informed care and faith-based ministry are not in conflictJessie also shares a gentle critique of the recent book Lies My Therapist Told Me and invites you into a deeper, more collaborative model of care.Mentioned in this episode:Join our Trauma-Informed Church Collaborative on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1KyJ6Z8iwv/Learn more at www.steadfastchristiancounseling.comBlog about Biblical Counseling https://steadfastchristiancounseling.com/clinical-christian-counseling-vs-nouthetic-counseling-why-clinical-counseling-is-the-better-choice-for-christians/
In this episode, founder of Steadfast Christian Counseling shares the story behind the practice and the values that drive everything they do. You’ll hear about the personal roots of Steadfast, the need for trauma-informed care in the church, and what makes this counseling center in Charleston, SC so different. From growing up in a pastor’s home to working on church staff, this is a heartfelt look at how faith, ethics, and emotional safety come together to create something truly healing.
Stay tuned until the end to hear reflections from some of the Steadfast team about what this work means to them.
Topics include:
The origin story of Steadfast
Why faith-integrated therapy matters
Church hurt and emotional healing
The difference between licensed therapy and ministry
Creating a culture of humility, safety, and warmth
Attachment theory as the foundation of healing
What makes Steadfast feel like home
Learn more at: https://www.steadfastchristiancounseling.com
The word deconstruction has stirred up a lot of fear and controversy in Christian spaces—but what if it’s not a threat to faith, but a part of it?
In this episode, Jessie and Tiff unpack the meaning of deconstruction and trace its roots—not just in modern culture, but in the pages of Scripture. From Jesus challenging legalism, to Job questioning suffering, to Peter unlearning religious boundaries, the Bible is full of faithful people who wrestled with what they were taught—and encountered God in the process.
Whether you're in the middle of your own spiritual questions or walking with someone who is, this episode offers hope, insight, and permission to explore what it means to hold a faith that’s both rooted and real.
visit www.steadfastchristiancousneling.com for more resources and a full transcript of this episode.
To watch this episode, visit our YouTube Channel
In this episode of The Steadfast Podcast, Jessie Evans unpacks what Christian counseling really is—and what it’s not. If you’ve ever wondered whether therapy can align with your faith, or if it’s okay to ask for help, this conversation is for you. Learn how faith and clinical care can work together to bring healing, hope, and deeper connection to both God and yourself.
Whether you’re new to counseling or just exploring your options, this short episode offers clarity, encouragement, and a simple next step.
For more information and for a full transcript, visit www.steadfastchristiancounseling.com
To watch this episode, visit our Youtube Channel
In this short but powerful episode, Jessie is joined by Tiff, Annalise, and Christie to offer support for parents navigating the aftermath of a traumatic event. Whether your family has experienced a loss, crisis, or unexpected disruption, this conversation provides gentle guidance, practical tools, and trauma-informed insight. Learn how trauma impacts both kids and adults, how to recognize common responses, and what steps you can take to create emotional safety and support healing in your home. If you’re feeling unsure of what to do next, this episode is here to remind you: you're not alone—and there is a way forward.
Blog Mentioned in this Episode
Watch This Episode on Our YouTube Channel
In this episode of The Steadfast Podcast, Jessie is joined by Steadfast therapists Annalise Lind, Emily Coomer, and Tiff Holdgate to explore one of the most healing—and often overlooked—parts of building secure relationships: repair.
Rooted in attachment theory and rich with both clinical insight and personal stories, this conversation covers:
Whether you're raising toddlers or teens—or working through repair in adult relationships—this episode will encourage and equip you to show up with grace, presence, and courage.
✨ Don’t miss our upcoming Summer Parenting Program!This 8-week online course is designed to help parents build secure bonds with their kids through therapeutic play, emotional regulation, and faith-based tools.
💻 Explore our counseling services and resources: www.SteadfastChristianCounseling.com
attachmenttheory #secureattachment #christianparenting #emotionalsafety #parentingrepair #steadfastcounseling #therapypodcast #summerparentingprogram
This episode is a dual drop between Pastor Chips podcast and ours! Find more about Pastor Chip Judd here Podcast — Chip JuddFor more resources, blog posts, and information about counseling services, visit us at www.steadfastchristiancounseling.com. Whether you're looking for therapy, support for your church or school, or helpful tools for emotional and spiritual growth, Steadfast is here to walk with you.
Three Therapists diving into Imposter Syndrome while drinking coffee and failing at Facebook Live. What could be better!