Is disconnection simply the result of modern life — or is it a deliberate feature of the systems we live in?In this episode of The Loneliness Industry, I’m joined by Professor Sam Vaknin — author of Malignant Self Love and one of the most cited (and controversial) voices on narcissism — for a deep dive into why we are so isolated.We agree on one point: disconnection is built into our systems. Where we differ is on how we got here.Sam argues these systems reflect the human condition itself — inherently narcissistic and isolation-seeking — supported by a Lacanian-based justification of humanity’s inherent alienation.If you are a regular listener of the podcast, you’ll know my own view is different. Influenced by Foucault’s analysis of power structures and Butler’s work on social norms and identity, I see disconnection as encouraged because those in power benefit from keeping us apart.This episode begins with a question that spawned an in depth exposition of Vaknins theory of the human condition. What followed is a lively, challenging conversation about narcissism, loneliness, human nature, and the forces that shape our connections — and disconnections. This lively, challenging conversation covers: • A Lacanian-based justification of humanity’s inherent alienation • What narcissism really is — and why Sam Vaknin believes it’s part of the human condition • The role of fantasy in avoiding human connection • How loneliness and disconnection are built into modern life • Whether isolation is a choice or the result of power structures • Why some believe technology encourages social isolation • Different perspectives on human nature and our capacity for connection • How narcissistic systems shape our relationships and communities • What happens when philosophical and psychological theories collideIf you’ve ever wondered whether disconnection is something we’ve chosen — or something designed into the fabric of our culture — this episode will challenge you to see the question from two very different angles.
Modern Western spirituality doesn’t “go wrong” — it starts wrong. It’s built on the same toxic values that fuel narcissism and consumer culture: control, grandiosity, and the myth that you alone shape all reality. In this episode of The Loneliness Industry, we break down how modern “spiritual” movements — from manifestation coaches to Instagram gurus — package narcissism as healing and sell a God complex as enlightenment. We unpack how these systems shame people for struggling, replace empathy with blame, and leave followers more disconnected than ever. If you’ve sensed that something about New Age spirituality feels manipulative, this episode will help you see why it’s toxic from the start — and how it was built to be that way. Drawing on thinkers from Nietzsche to Hegel, from Lasch to Eva Illouz, this episode shows how toxic spiritualism was born from capitalism’s narcissistic values — and why gurus keep selling the same false salvation. Philosophers, thinkers, and writers featured:
Part II in the series on narcissism and society. In this episode of The Loneliness Industry, we dive deep into the impact of narcissism and perfectionism in today’s society and how they contribute to loneliness. Exploring the damaging roles we’re pushed into by both familial and societal systems, we unpack how narcissistic power shapes us into false selves, often leaving us disconnected from others and ourselves.
But here’s the twist: imperfection is actually the key to overcoming loneliness in this narcissistic world. By failing to perfectly internalize societal pressures, we maintain our humanity and stay open to authentic connection. This episode combines philosophical insight and psychological analysis to show how embracing our flaws can offer a path to genuine connection and freedom, far beyond the false selves we wear.Key concepts explored in this episode: • The rise of narcissistic traits in society and their impact on emotional isolation • How perfectionism and control perpetuate loneliness • The false self and its role in creating disconnection • The importance of imperfection as a form of resistance • The role of power in shaping identity (through Foucault, Marx, and more)This episode features an exploration of thinkers like Michel Foucault, Christopher Lasch, Judith Butler, and Louis Althusser, whose ideas shed light on how societal values shape our sense of self and our relationships with others.Tune in to learn how recognizing the systemic forces at play can help you shed the role of the ‘perfect self’ and reconnect with what really matters — authenticity, empathy, and meaningful human connections.Links to podcasts Dr. Ramani / @doctorramani (for help with narcissistic abuse)Lee Hammock / @mentalhealness (self aware narcissist who offers insights)#narcissism #loneliness #falseself #perfectionismrecovery #perfectionism #imperfections #authenticity #emotionalisolation #connection #narcissisticabuserecovery #philosophypodcast #foucault #marxism #judithbutler #socialpsychology #culturalcritique #selfawareness #mentalhealthawareness #identitycrisis #covertnarcissist #psychologicalinsights
What if society is gaslighting you — just like a narcissistic parent would?This episode exposes how Western culture mimics covert narcissistic abuse: demanding performance over authenticity, shaming your needs, rewarding image over connection, and leaving you with chronic loneliness and self-doubt.Discover how narcissistic traits like gaslighting, blame-shifting, triangulation, and emotional manipulation are not just personal — they’re cultural. Drawing on powerful insights from psychology and philosophy, this video shows how modern capitalism trains us to build false selves and see relationships as transactions.📚 Featuring thinkers like Michel Foucault, Judith Butler, Pierre Bourdieu, Alice Miller, Karl Marx, Zhuangzi, Louis Althusser, and Dr. Ramani — this is a deep dive into the roots of emotional isolation, societal narcissism, and the warping of identity under capitalism.If you've ever felt "too much," "too needy," or unlovable — this episode will show you why the problem isn’t you. It’s the system.List of cited or referenced theorists:Philosophers / Sociologists / Cultural Theorists:Michel FoucaultJudith ButlerPierre BourdieuZhuangziKarl MarxLouis AlthusserFrantz Fanon (briefly referenced)Psychologists / Psychoanalysts:Alice MillerOtto KernbergHeinz KohutJames MastersonElinor GreenbergKaryl McBrideJohn BradshawShahida ArabiChristine HammondDr. Ramani DurvasulaSam VakninMusic (intro and Outro) by Jordan Reyne ("The Annihilation Sequence")#Narcissism#NarcissisticAbuse#SocietalNarcissism#FalseSelf#PhilosophyPodcast#MentalHealthAwareness#WesternCulture#Gaslighting#DrRamani#Foucault#JudithButler#Capitalism#AliceMiller#SpiritualBypassing#TraumaHealing#Loneliness#CPTSD#CovertNarcissist#EmotionalAbuseRecovery#PersonalGrowth
Why do we feel unseen — even when we’re surrounded by people? And why does connection so often feel like a performance? This episode of The Loneliness Industry dives deep into the structural roots of loneliness — showing how Western capitalist values like independence, competition, control, and self-sufficiency actively undermine our ability to form meaningful connection. We explore how cultural scripts, stereotypes, and socially approved identities flatten us into roles — while rewarding us for performing versions of ourselves that are legible, desirable, and marketable, but never quite real. Instead of encouraging us to be fully human, this system tells us to be readable. It rewards performance over presence, predictability over intimacy — and sells the idea that to avoid loneliness, you need to wear a mask and fit a role. Connection becomes something we act, not something we live. We talk: • Why being stereotyped feels lonelier than being alone • How social roles replace intimacy with performance • The emotional cost of being “pre-understood” • How consumerism and spiritual culture profit from disconnection • How performing gender roles distances us from who we are • What happens when identity is reduced to a marketing tool Philosophers & thinkers featured: • Emmanuel Levinas – on irreducibility and the ethics of the Other • Frantz Fanon – on misrecognition and being “overdetermined” • Judith Butler – on performativity and survival • John Searle – on brute facts (sex) vs institutional facts (gender) • bell hooks – on mutuality, intimacy, and decolonizing love • Audre Lorde – on complexity, voice, and power • Sara Ahmed – on emotional labor and being made “diverse” If you’ve ever felt misread, boxed in, or punished for being yourself — this episode is for you. 🔗 Listen, and take back what performance tried to erase: your real, messy, human self. Hashtags: #Loneliness #WhyWeFeelLonely #PhilosophyPodcast #EmotionalHealth #Connection #CapitalismAndConnection #JudithButler #FrantzFanon #JohnSearle #Levinas #bellhooks #AudreLorde #SaraAhmed #BruteFacts #InstitutionalFacts #Misrecognition #IdentityPerformance #CulturalScripts #SelfHelpCritique #SpiritualConsumerism #GenderRoles #AuthenticityOverPerformance #TheLonelinessIndustry #ReclaimYourself #CulturalCritique #EmotionalIsolation #SeenAndUnseen #PerformativeIdentity
Why does loneliness persist, even after all the therapy, self-help, and "inner work"?This episode of The Loneliness Industry dives deep into the structural roots of loneliness—showing how Western capitalist values like independence, competition, control, and self-sufficiency actively undermine our ability to form meaningful connection.
This episode tells you what the self-help world won’t:Loneliness isn’t just emotional — it’s engineered.By capitalism.By culture.By the values we’re taught to worship: independence, control, self-sufficiency.We talk: • What intimacy really is (and why sex can be completely devoid of it) • Why therapy alone can’t fix disconnection • How capitalism manufactures loneliness — and then shames you for feeling it • What it means to be pathologized for having basic human needsGuest-starring philosophers from several countries:Michel Foucault (on power and the construction of pathology)bell hooks (on love, mutuality, and community)Hannah Arendt (on loneliness and totalitarianism)Lauren Berlant (on cruel optimism and affective structures)Gabor Maté (on connection and health)John Bowlby (on attachment and emotional development)Dan Siegel, Stephen Porges, Louis Cozolino (on relational neuroscience)If you’ve ever felt ashamed for needing others, or wondered why intimacy feels so hard in modern life—this episode is for you.
#Loneliness #Capitalism #Foucault #bellhooks #GaborMate #LaurenBerlant #HannahArendt #AttachmentTheory #PolyvagalTheory #TheLonelinessIndustry #MentalHealth #Connection #SelfHelpCritique #PhilosophyPodcast #CulturalCritique #EmotionalHealth #JohnBowlby #StephenPorges #DanSiegel #LouisCozolino #LoveEthic #CruelOptimism #WesternValues #PodcastOnLoneliness
Is competition really driving us forward—or quietly pulling us apart? In this episode of The Loneliness Industry, we dig deep into how comparison culture, capitalist values, and performative selfhood are making us lonelier than ever. From office sports metaphors to narcissistic self-help mantras, we unpack the hidden psychological and philosophical costs of a society obsessed with winning.Expect critical insights from thinkers like Sartre, Foucault, Alfred Adler, Gabor Maté, and more—as well as personal stories, cultural critique, and a few dark laughs. If you’ve ever felt like you’re not measuring up, like your worth depends on your performance, or like everyone around you is secretly judging your life like a talent show… this one’s for you.🌀 Topics include:The loneliness of always measuring upThe psychology of comparison and narcissismHow capitalism turns performance into identityThe myth of healthy competitionWhat philosophy says about the gaze, the self, and belongingReal ways to reconnect in a world obsessed with rankingAuthors, Philosophers and Psychologists Referenced: Alfred Adler – Psychologist; known for theories on inferiority/superiority complexes.Sigmund Freud – Psychoanalyst; referenced with humor re: dream interpretation.Leon Festinger – Psychologist; developed Social Comparison Theory.Christopher Lasch – Cultural critic; The Culture of Narcissism (1979).Carol Dweck – Psychologist; Fixed vs Growth Mindsets.Herbert Marcuse – Philosopher; One-Dimensional Man (1964).Byung-Chul Han – Philosopher; The Burnout Society.Slavoj Žižek – Philosopher; Ideology and “enjoyment.”Peter Kropotkin – Anarchist and philosopher; emphasized cooperation over competition.Charles Darwin – Naturalist; referenced for Descent of Man and misreadings of his work.Herbert Spencer – Social theorist; coined “survival of the fittest.”Stephen Jay Gould – Paleontologist and evolutionary theorist; critiqued Social Darwinism.Daniel Dennett – Philosopher of mind; mentioned re: evolution and cooperation.Jean-Paul Sartre – Philosopher; The Gaze, Being and Nothingness.Michel Foucault – Philosopher; Panopticon, internalized surveillance, disciplinary society.Judith Butler – Philosopher and gender theorist; performativity.Carl Jung – Psychologist; on alienation and the “true self.”Erich Fromm – Psychoanalyst and philosopher; on alienation under capitalism.Gabor Maté – Physician and author; on trauma, loneliness, and connection.Martha Nussbaum – Philosopher; Capabilities Approach and human flourishing.Alain de Botton – Philosopher and writer; commentary on modern success narratives.#Loneliness, #PhilosophyPodcast, #SocialComparison, #PsychologyOfSelf, #CapitalismAndMentalHealth, #TheGaze, #Foucault, #Sartre, #GaborMate, #AlfredAdler, #SelfWorth, #CompetitionCulture, #competition #philosophyofpsychology, #lonelinesssociety, #PerformingTheSelf, #MentalHealthAwareness, #Neoliberalism, #ConnectionOverComparison, #connection, #socialcritique, #whyamidoingthis, #whyamilikethis
The Lie of Cognitive Primacy — Why Your Feelings Matter More Than You’ve Been ToldWhat if the real reason you feel broken... isn’t you?In this episode, we confront one of the most insidious myths of modern life: cognitive primacy — the belief that our thoughts should govern our emotions, that logic is superior to feeling, and that healing means "thinking better."But this isn’t just bad psychology. It’s a cultural weapon — one that isolates us, individualizes blame, and erases emotion as a valid form of knowing. We explore how this ideology disconnects us from ourselves and each other, and why reclaiming our emotional truth is not just healing — it’s radical resistance.
We unpack:
- How cognitive primacy functions as a tool of self-surveillance and shame
- Why CBT is institutionalised gaslighting
- Why emotional intelligence isn’t about control, but connection
- The political and social cost of treating feelings as errors
- How grief, rage, and fear might be exactly what the moment calls for.
You don’t need to be calm to be worthy. You don’t need to be “fixed” to be whole.Your feelings are not a flaw — they’re a signal. A truth. A rebellion.✨ Listen now and reclaim the power of your emotional life.
Philosophers/ Thinkers/ Authors Mentioned:Rene DescartesImmanual KantSara AhmedMichel FoucualtMaurice Merleau-Ponty
#philosophy#psychology#loneliness#lonelinessawareness#philosophyofpsychology#socialcritique
#culturalcritique#cognitiveprimacy
#Loneliness #Individualism #philosophy #WesternCulture #Capitalism #SelfHelpCulture #MentalHealth #interdependence #philosophy101 #thinkforyourself #SocialCritique #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalIsolation #CulturalAnalysis #SelfSufficiency #humanconnection #connection #thinkoutsidethebox #toxicpositivity #connection #thinkoutsidethebox #toxicpositivity #loneliness #CognitivePrimacy #mentalhealthmyths #emotionalwisdom #FeelingsAreValid #HealingIsPolitical #podcasts #podcast #lonelinesssociety #cbt #whyCBTisbullshit #Loneliness #Individualism #HeroNarrative #philosophy #westernculture #capitalism #selfhelpbooks #selfhelp #mentalhealth #interdependence #philosophicalinquiry #philosophicaldiscussion #philosophicalthinking #cbtisbullshit #socialcritique #personalgrowth #personalgrowthjourney #emotionalintelligence solation #culturalanalysis #selfsufficiency #humanconnection #connection #whyamilikethis #whyamihere #whyamidoingthis #toxicpositivity #thinkpositive #mindovermatter
In this episode of The Loneliness Industry, we unpack how “control” is sold as empowerment in Western capitalist culture—but often acts as a hidden tool of ideological control and social division.
We explore how the pursuit of control offers comfort, but also fuels toxic self-blame, empathy gaps, and the myth that people ‘deserve’ their suffering. This episode challenges the narrative that personal failure is always personal—and asks what happens when we stop pretending that life is fair.
If you've ever felt alone, ashamed, or like you're just “not doing healing right,” this one’s for you.
🎧 Tune in for thought-provoking insights, biting commentary, and a crummy dating story—because philosophy's better with a bit of mess.
Authors/ Philosophers/ Psychologists mentioned:
Marcus Aurelius
Epictetus
Albert Bandura
Michel Foucault
Slavoj Zizek
Richard Stankovic
Judith Butler
Charles Taylor
#Loneliness #Individualism #philosophy #WesternCulture #Capitalism #SelfHelpCulture #MentalHealth #interdependence #philosophy101 #SocialCritique #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalIsolation #CulturalAnalysis #SelfSufficiency #humanconnection #connection #thinkoutsidethebox #toxicpositivity #mentalhealthmyths #emotionalwisdom #control #controller #controlissues #controlmental #controlmental #mentalhealthmyths #positivitymindset #connection #thinkoutsidethebox #toxicpositivity #positivevibes #FeelingsAreValid #HealingIsPolitical #podcasts #podcast #lonelinesssociety #loneliness #lonelinesstostrength #lonelinessmotivation #thinkforyourself #whyCBTisbullshit #Loneliness #Individualism #philosophy #westernculture #capitalism #selfhelpbooks #selfhelp #mentalhealth #interdependence #philosophicalinquiry #philosophicaldiscussion #philosophicalthinking #socialcritique #personalgrowth #personalgrowthjourney #emotionalintelligence solation #culturalanalysis #selfsufficiency #humanconnection #connection #whyamilikethis #whyamihere #whyamidoingthis #understandingmyself
In this first full episode of The Loneliness Industry, we dive into the philosophical roots of loneliness in Western culture—starting with individualism and the hero narrative that props it up.
Through the lens of pop culture, consumerism, and critical theory, I explore how Western capitalist ideology encourages us to see ourselves as lone protagonists on a personal quest—detached, self-sufficient, and responsible for everything. It promises freedom and empowerment, but often delivers disconnection, self-blame, and emotional isolation.
We unpack how this worldview reshapes our ideas of success, health, and human worth, sidelining empathy and erasing our need for interdependence. And crucially, we look at how the lone hero myth encourages us to treat others not as people, but as plot devices—supporting characters whose value is based on how well they serve our individual goals. In the process, real connection is lost, and loneliness deepens, even when we’re surrounded by others.
🎧 A blend of philosophy, cultural critique, and lived experience—with a dash of dry wit and side-eye.
Authors mentioned:
Emmanuel Levinas
Slavoj Zizek
Intro/ Outro Music:Jordan Reyne, "The Annihilation Sequence." To be found at: https://jordanreyne.bandcamp.com
#Loneliness #Individualism #philosophy #WesternCulture #Capitalism #SelfHelpCulture #MentalHealth #interdependence #philosophy101 #SocialCritique #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalIsolation #CulturalAnalysis #SelfSufficiency #humanconnection #connection #thinkoutsidethebox #toxicpositivity #mentalhealthmyths #emotionalwisdom#loneliness #thinkforyourself #individualism #socialcritique #heroesjourney #narcissism #culturalnarratives #mentalhealthmyths #emotionalwisdom #FeelingsAreValid #HealingIsPolitical #podcasts #podcast #lonelinesssociety #heroicjourney #lonewolf #Loneliness #Individualism #heronarrative #heroesjourney #lonewolf #philosophy #westernculture #capitalism #selfhelpbooks #selfhelp #mentalhealth #interdependence #philosophicalinquiry #philosophicaldiscussion #philosophicalthinking #cbtisbullshit #socialcritique #personalgrowth #personalgrowthjourney #emotionalintelligence solation #culturalanalysis #selfsufficiency #humanconnection #connection #whyamilikethis #whyamihere #whyamidoingthis
Welcome to the first episode of The Loneliness Industry, where we explore the real causes of loneliness in today’s world. I’m Jordan, and I’m here to help break the stigma around loneliness, unpack its societal roots, and offer a more nuanced conversation about isolation. As someone who has personally navigated the complexities of loneliness, I want to create a place where we don’t blame ourselves but instead look at the cultural, psychological, and philosophical factors that contribute to it. In this episode, I’ll share a bit about who I am, why I started this podcast, and what you can expect from the episodes to come. If you’ve ever felt disconnected or alone in a hyperconnected world, you’re in the right place.
Explicit content: contains occasional expletives.
