In this deeply personal and initiatory episode, I share a raw, unfiltered reflection on what it means to walk through the fire of the meta-crisis. Global collapse. Personal loss. Spiritual awakening. Radical reinvention.
From the ashes of a violent marriage, the unraveling of my YouTube career, and the sudden death of my father, to the sacred thresholds of psychedelic ceremony, queer love, gender awakening, and ancestral pilgrimage—this is the story of my becoming. Of breaking open to become something new.
This spoken word offering is an invocation for anyone who finds themselves in the liminal.
For those unraveling, aching, awakening.
For those caught in the chrysalis, longing for wings.
For those who sense—deep down—the world isn’t ending... it’s initiating.
I also share an invitation into our next Metamorpho™ immersion in Tulum this and the launch of the Chrysalism™ Fund—a pay-it-forward scholarship model designed to support those in active transformation. Whether you're feeling called to attend or to help sponsor someone else's sacred becoming, I hope this episode plants a seed in your soul.
👂 Thank you for listening. May it find you where you need it most.
🌀 Themes:
✨ To join the next Metamorpho™ (May 23–26, 2025) apply here or support someone else's wings or find more information about scholarships email: magic@iamelevenxx.com
🦋 Read the full essay on Substack here
🎧 Listen, breathe, and be transformed.
In the aftermath of the darkest night of the year, the Winter Solstice, we awaken to a morning heavy with grief yet illuminated by the promise of returning light. “The Morning After the Mourning” explores the sacred, messy process of allowing grief to move through us—its rawness, its beauty, and its power to transform.
In this episode and accompanying written reflection, we delve into the necessity of mourning, feeling every wave of loss without bypassing the pain. Grief is not something to overcome but something to be held, honored, and embodied.
I reflect on my journey into death doulaship and the profound imprint left by the passing of my closest companion, Vanessa Joy, on November 19th. Her light, her love, and our soulful connection became a masterclass in receivership, depth, and the unrelenting ache of absence. Through this, I mourn not only Vanessa but also the collective grief we carry—the losses of loved ones, the failures of broken systems, and the stolen moments of humanity in a dehumanized world.
This is a space to honor the dead, to let grief flow freely, and to sit in the sacred stillness of the “morning after.” Together, we’ll explore how the messy middle—the breaking apart—is where the seeds of magic and metamorphosis are planted.
Tune in for an intimate reflection on love, loss, rage, and rebirth. This is the deep deep. Sacred sacred.
For readers and listeners seeking the solace of shared grief and the hope of the returning light —
I invite you to follow me on Instagram: @iamelevenxx
Exploring the complex choreography in the sacred dance of polarity, polyamory, parenthood, and pleasure...
Read the full Substack article which includes links, visuals etc.
Follow me on Instagram: @iamelevenxx
“Who Are Your Makers?”
A Contemplation on Origins Beyond Bloodlines, Ancestors, and Cosmic Inheritance
Link to full transmission with imagery on Substack
Welcome to The Eleventh Hour Podcast, a space for those on the cusp of transformation, where spiritual awakening, deep inquiry, and cosmic wisdom meet. Hosted by Eleven @iamelevenxx — a mystic, visionary alchemist, and guide, this podcast dives into the mysteries of life, death, and rebirth, exploring the sacred in all its forms. Each episode invites you to journey beyond the surface, breaking down old paradigms and activating the divine within.
From deconstructing faith and embracing identity alchemy to channeling ancestral wisdom and sacred sexuality, The Eleventh Hour is a portal into the hidden layers of existence. Through intimate conversations with healers, visionaries, and thought leaders, we explore the urgent and timeless questions that shape our collective and personal evolution.
Support Our Mission
If this podcast speaks to you and you’re drawn to support this work, we invite you to subscribe on Substack. Your subscription fuels the production of The Eleventh Hour and provides access to exclusive content, personal reflections-transmissions and integrations from Ele. Enjoy deep dive explorations within each episode’s themes. With your support, we can continue to create impactful content that nurtures the soul and ignites transformation.
Calling Forward Angel Investors
We are actively seeking angel investors who believe in the power of storytelling and spiritual exploration. Your support will enable us to enhance production quality, expand our reach, and create more opportunities for dialogue and healing. If you’re aligned with our mission and want to help bring The Eleventh Hour to even greater heights, we’d love to connect. Together, we can co-create a platform that sparks radical change and awakening for listeners around the globe.
Pronouns are gateways to a deeper understanding of self and spirit. As identity becomes fluid, we enter a sacred blur where labels dissolve, and the soul emerges in its boundless form.
Join me your cosmic sibling and ‘walk on the wild side’ guide as I take you down the rabbit hole, and if you’ve made it to this transmission to begin with, there is FAR more to unravel. We’re just getting started. Together, we’ll continue to dive deeper into this provacative topic —examining pronouns as spiritual tools, reclaiming our stories, and deconstructing the binaries that have shaped our world. If you feel stirred, intrigued, or even a little triggered (that’s part of the magic), I invite you to join me on this journey.
By subscribing, you’re not just supporting my work; you’re investing in a space where radical, heart-centered conversations unfold. Become a paid subscriber, and be part of this unfolding—fueling the reclamation of our stories, our identities, and the future we are co-creating.
Join my Substack where you can read the transcript of this entire episode, see visuals, and view links to further information.
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