Why do we work so hard to earn the approval of others? And what is it really costing us? In this candid, practical episode, Dr. Alison tackles one of the most common struggles she hears from so many of you: people pleasing. You’ll hear powerful voice messages from listeners as she explores the many forms this pattern can take—from avoiding conflict, to saying “yes” when you want to say “no,” to slowly losing sight of who you really are. Together, you’ll learn: 5 common roots of people pleasing How certain Bible verses get misused to reinforce self-erasure The high cost of people pleasing 3 simple steps to move toward wholeness 📥 Pick up your copy of The Best of You—Dr. Alison’s book on this topic here 📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Other episodes you might like : Episode 46: People Pleasing as Survival Episode 33: People Pleasing & Developing Your Own Inner Compass Episode 14: The Fawn Response 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if what keeps you going is also keeping you stuck? Does venting actually help, or is it actually making you feel worse? This powerful, hope-filled conversation might just change your entire approach to rest—it did for me. Cognitive psychologist and neuroscientist Dr. Therese Huston joins me for a conversation that’s incredibly helpful for anyone feeling overwhelmed, emotionally drained, or stuck in numbing patterns. I’m not exaggerating when I say it is a game-changer. If you’ve been feeling off-center, burned out, or unsure how to truly rest, this episode will meet you with both compassion and science-backed tools to help you reset—even when you don’t have much time. We cover: The surprising truth about venting—and why it may not be helping Why certain “breaks” leave you more drained How to reset your brain in less than five minutes (yes, really) Simple, science-backed techniques to calm your nervous system Why numbing behaviors (like mindless snacking, scrolling, or binging TV) can feel good—but keep you stuck Two powerful on-air practices you can do right along with us This is not about productivity hacks. It’s about reclaiming your peace and tending to your soul—so you can show up as the person you want to be, no matter what your day looks like. 📘 Check out Sharp: 14 Simple Ways to Improve Your Life with Brain Science by Dr. Therese Huston  📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 132 : 3 Strategies for Managing Overwhelm and Emotional Stress in the Sandwich Generation Episode 80: Navigating Overwhelming Emotions Episode 146: The Difference Between Escape & Relief with Annie F. Downs 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Give online therapy a try and see how it can help you become more present, more aware, and more connected to the life you want to live. Visit  BetterHelp.com/BESTOFYOU. Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, and embrace your cozy days with Cozy Earth. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you tired of holding it all together for everyone else? In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Alison explores the hidden ache of emotional caretaking—the quiet ways we overfunction, over-give, and overlook our own needs to keep the peace. Whether it started in childhood or has become a way of coping in adult relationships, many of us have learned to survive by tending to others while slowly disappearing ourselves. Alison shares what she’s learning about her own inner caretaker and gently invites you to reconnect with the parts of you that are tired, weary, and worthy of care. This isn’t about walking away from the people you love—it’s about learning to stay grounded in yourself as you care well for others. This episode explores: Why emotional caretaking can feel like love—but quietly wears you down How childhood dynamics shape your adult urge to fix, help, or rescue What most people get wrong about “self-care” The hidden cost of always tending to others while neglecting yourself A gentle practice to reconnect with your inner caretaker—and what she needs This episode is a loving reminder: Your needs matter. Your soul deserves care. And you don’t have to carry it all alone. 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 138: Breaking Free from Overfunctioning –– DIscover the Hidden Costs of Always Being the Responsible One Episode 151: The Hidden Reason You Feel Overwhelmed –– Understanding the Mental Load with Dr. Morgan Cutlip Episode 152: The Anxiety Beneath Perfectionism –– Why Trying Harder Won’t Set You Free 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Get 50% off a nightguard at checkout when you code BESTOFYOU at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it mean to risk love again—after loss, heartbreak, and the disorientating grief that follows? In this incredibly tender and powerful conversation, I’m joined by Stephanie Duncan Smith, author of Even After Everything, to talk about the kind of spiritual confusion that often follows personal loss. Stephanie shares how a painful pregnancy loss just before Christmas reshaped her understanding of God. Together, we explore how to stay grounded in God’s love even when your emotions feel muted, your prayers feel flat, or your sense of spiritual connection feels off. Whether you’ve experienced loss or walked alongside someone who has, this episode is an invitation into honest faith and the sacred practice of hope. This episode explores: Why spiritual numbness is a natural response to pain What it looks like to grieve without having to fake it How to handle deep pain during seasons that are supposed to be joyful Why naming your loss honestly can help you heal How Stephanie processed the grief of pregnancy loss 📘 Get Stephanie’s book: Even After Everything: The Spiritual Practice of Knowing the Risks and Loving Anyway 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Listen to more episodes on grief and healing: Episode 133: Navigating the 6 Stages of Grief with Renowned Grief Expert David Kessler Episode 102: How to Name, Frame, and Brave Complicated Emotions About Faith & God Episode 159: Spiritual Drowning, Honest Questions, and a God Who Doesn’t Let Go with Heather Thompson Day 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if anxiety isn’t something to pray away—or push down—but an invitation to deeper healing? In this week’s re-air of one of our most downloaded episodes, Dr. Alison sits down with theologian and mental health advocate Curtis Chang about how anxiety can actually become a doorway to your truest self in God. We explore: 🌿 Curtis's personal journey through debilitating anxiety 🌿 How Jesus himself experienced anxiety—and what that means for us 🌿 The shame that keeps us silent, and the healing that comes when we name it 🌿 How to walk with your kids through anxiety (without projecting your own) This conversation is honest, hope-filled, and rich with both theological wisdom and practical insight. If you’ve ever felt anxious and ashamed—or if you’re supporting someone who is—this one is for you. 📘 Learn more about Curtis Chang’s work at Redeeming Babel and his book, The Anxiety Opportunity. 📥 Get your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📥 Get Alison’s free printable with five simple boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. For more on the anxiety series, check out: Episode 55: Am I Supposed to Distrust Myself?  Episode 56: Am I Really Supposed to Die to Myself? Episode 57: Should I Turn the Other Cheek? 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Reconnect with what truly matters and rediscover a purposeful life you love with Social Media Reset. Follow @dralisoncook on Instagram to join the conversation! Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions or stuck in patterns of self-criticism, this episode offers a practical path forward rooted in both psychology and spiritual wisdom. In this powerful re-air of a foundational episode, Dr. Alison Cook introduces the transformative approach behind Boundaries for Your Soul. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Christian faith, Alison shares how to lead your inner life with clarity, kindness, and strength. Instead of pushing away difficult emotions, you’ll learn how to create space for them—with healthy boundaries that bring healing and peace. This episode explores: A step-by-step framework to navigate emotional overwhelm The 3 internal roles we all carry—and how to listen to each one with care Why spiritual growth requires emotional awareness How Jesus modeled soul-level boundaries An effective way to approach anxiety, anger, or fear without shame Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or deep in the work of personal transformation, this episode will give you tools to understand yourself better and lead from a place of wholeness. 📥 Get your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📚 Explore Alison’s books:  Boundaries for Your Soul: https://a.co/d/fwOjZde The Best of You: https://a.co/d/fjkMhoc I Shouldn’t Feel This Way: https://a.co/d/5x1cgie 📥 Get the Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools mentioned in last week’s episode when you sign up for her weekly email. For more on internal boundaries, check out: Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions Episode 41:  Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness & Set Boundaries with Loneliness Episode 43: How to Tame Your Inner Critic Episode 44: Why Anger is a Surprising Friend 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Give online therapy a try and see how it can help you become more present, more aware, and more connected to the life you want to live. Visit  BetterHelp.com/BESTOFYOU. Visit FayNutrition.com/BESTOFYOU to see if you qualify to work with a dietitian for as little as $0. Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, and embrace your cozy days with Cozy Earth. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is summer leaving you more frazzled than refreshed? Between travel, family gatherings, long days, and shifting routines, summer can test your limits in unexpected ways. If you’re feeling stretched thin, resentful, or just plain exhausted—this episode will be your step by step practical guide to resetting your boundaries. Backed by recent research and years of experience, Dr. Alison walks you through why boundaries are essential for your brain, relationships, and emotional health—and how to set them with clarity and kindness. In this episode, you’ll learn: How healthy boundaries light up your brain The difference between healthy boundaries and controlling behavior Three levels of boundaries—from simple resets to firm protection Five boundary shortcuts you can start using today (with practical scripts!) Why the hardest boundaries are often the ones we set with ourselves If you’re longing for a summer with more peace, more joy, and less emotional exhaustion, this episode will leave you feeling empowered and equipped. 📥 Get Alison's free printable with the 5 boundary tools mentioned in this episode when you sign up for her weekly email. For more on boundaries, check out: Episodes 24 — Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Episode 25 — Types of “No” Part 1 — How to say “No” in Healthy Relationships Episode 26 — Types of “No” Part 2 — How to say “No” to Toxicity, The Real Meaning of Turn The Other Cheek & How to Form A Boundaries Committee 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if your story—even the complicated parts—could become a doorway to deeper faith? In this inspiring conversation, Dr. Alison Cook is joined by author and professor Dr. Esau McCaulley, whose journey is a powerful example of how owning your story—even the hard parts—can lead to growth, healing, and deeper purpose. Together they explore how to reflect on your past with clarity, how to honor your roots while still moving forward, and how to build a faith and life that reflects who you truly are becoming. We talk about: How to grow stronger by facing your story with honesty Why your past doesn’t define your future—but it does matter How to forgive and still honor your boundaries The role of family, race, and faith in shaping identity How to live with more purpose by integrating your whole self A hopeful perspective on becoming grounded, resilient, and open to change If you’re on a journey of becoming more emotionally and spiritually whole, this episode will leave you feeling inspired, grounded, and more connected to your own growth. 📚 Learn more about Esau’s work at esaumccaulley.com 📖 Read his new memoir: How Far to the Promised Land  If this episode speaks to you, you’ll also love: Episode 156⁠ — Why Fear Shows Up When You’re About to Grow & How to Break Free from Self-Sabotage with Mary Marantz Episode 163⁠ — Healing Spiritual Wounds: Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces with Rachel Clinton Chen 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Go to cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU for 40% off best-selling temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. Trust me—you’ll feel the difference the very first night. Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when the very place that was supposed to nourish your soul becomes a source of deep harm? In this deeply moving and necessary conversation, therapist, pastor, and trauma specialist Rachael Clinton Chen joins Dr. Alison Cook to talk about the pain of spiritual abuse—and what it looks like to begin healing from it. Whether you’ve experienced overt harm in a religious setting or carry subtle wounds from spiritual messaging that shaped your identity in unhealthy ways, this episode offers a gentle, powerful invitation toward healing, dignity, and reclaiming your voice. Rachael shares: Her own story of healing from spiritual abuseWhy spiritual pain is often so hard to name How systems of control in churches and families silence women and survivors The importance of embodiment and “coming home to yourself” in healing A theological lens for honoring your anger, grief, and truth If you've ever questioned your worth because of how faith was used against you—or wondered how to hold onto your spirituality while confronting the harm—you’re not alone. This episode is full of insight, validation, and hope for your journey. 📋Spiritual abuse can be hard to recognize, because it’s often the water we’re swimming in. That’s why The Allender Center put together a self-guided checklist designed to help identify signs of spiritual abuse in your own life or the lives of others. You can download it here. 🖥Take a healing step and start The Spiritual Abuse & Healing Online Course and use code COOK20 for 20% at checkout. If this episode speaks to you, you’ll also love: ⁠Episode 67⁠ — The Inextricable Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Episode 153 — Embodied Healing, Spiritual Trauma, and the Journey Home to Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride ⁠Episode 17⁠ — What Is Church Hurt and How Do I Heal? 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when repair in your family isn’t possible—at least not yet? In this powerful follow-up to last week’s conversation on family pain, psychologist and author Dr. Joshua Coleman sits with me as we explore the heartbreak and complexity of family estrangement—from both sides of the story. With deep compassion and personal insight, Dr. Coleman shares what he’s learned through decades of research—and from his own journey as a parent who experienced estrangement from his adult daughter. Whether you're the one who stepped away from a parent or you're a parent who’s been cut off by a child, this conversation offers a rare, balanced look at a path to healing. Dr. Coleman shares: Why estrangement is rising—and what’s really behind it When a temporary break might be helpful What to do if your parent won’t take responsibility—or if your child won’t re-engage How humility (not humiliation) opens the door to healing Practical guidance for both adult children and estranged parents If you’ve ever wrestled with how to honor a parent who hurt you—or how to rebuild with a child who’s walked away—this episode is full of wisdom, hope, and next steps. 🖥 Learn more about Dr. Coleman’s work here. 📚 Grab a copy of his book Rules of Estrangement here. If you liked this episode, you’ll also love: ⁠Episode 161⁠ — Finding Yourself without Losing Your Family: Healing From Dysfunctional Family Patterns with Jerry Wise Episode 127 — Healing Childhood Wounds: The Enmeshed Family & 5 Toxic Patterns that Affect Your Ability to Thrive in Adult Relationships Episode 85⁠ — The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU for 40% off best-selling temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. Trust me—you’ll feel the difference the very first night. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Start seeing a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Connect further with Dr. Alison Cook: IG: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/ www.dralisoncook.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when your family is the source of your deepest wounds? How do you hold onto your identity without cutting off the people who raised you? In this transformative conversation, therapist and relationship coach Jerry Wise discusses the concept of self-differentiation—a powerful framework for healing from family dysfunction without shame or blame. Whether you’re navigating complex family ties, considering going no contact, or simply longing to feel more like you, this episode offers a clear path forward rooted in wisdom, compassion, and courage. Jerry shares: His own journey from dysfunction to emotional clarity Why cutting ties doesn’t always lead to healing—and what might How to spot when you’re still emotionally enmeshed (even with distance) Practical steps to stop reacting and start reclaiming your sense of self If you’ve ever felt stuck in old family roles, overwhelmed by guilt, or confused about how to move forward with—or without—your family, this episode will meet you with both empathy and actionable insight. 🖥 Learn more about Jerry’s work: Jerry Wise Relationship Systems 📺 Watch his free training and explore his self-differentiation course If you liked this episode, you'll love: Episode 147 — The Hidden Trauma of Being the Chosen Child & a Path Toward Healing—Making Sense of Your Family Story Episode 127 — Healing Childhood Wounds—The Enmeshed Family & 5 Toxic Patterns that Affect Your Ability to Thrive in Adult Relationships ⁠Episode 85⁠ — The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction Thanks to our Sponsors! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!‍ Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do with the ache of not feeling wanted? The part of you that wonders if you’ll ever truly belong? In this powerful conversation with IFS therapist and author Tammy Sollenberger, we explore how the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model helps you turn toward those tender places inside—rather than pushing them away. This conversation originally struck a deep chord with listeners—and it feels especially relevant right now. Whether you’re hearing it for the first time or tuning in again, it holds fresh insight for your journey. Tammy shares: Her personal story of feeling unwanted, even though her parents loved her. Why “parts work” is so transformative in healing emotional wounds How self-compassion opens the door to real connection A simple practice to begin befriending the hurting parts within If you’ve ever struggled with feeling left out, overlooked, or not enough—this episode will meet you with kindness, insight, and hope. 📘 Learn more about Tammy’s book: The One Inside 💬 Got a question or reflection? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. ‍ If you liked this episode, you'll love: Episode 108 Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma Episodes 39 through 43 —Boundaries For Your Soul series on IFS in 5 parts Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting ⁠faithgateway.com/NIVAB⁠ and using promo code BESTOFYOU Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to ⁠StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! ⁠ Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten ‍ While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m joined by the brilliant and beautifully honest Dr. Heather Thompson Day for a conversation on spiritual wrestling. Heather’s latest book, What If I’m Wrong? Navigating the Waves of Fear and Failure explores what happens when the faith you once relied on starts to unravel. Heather shares openly about her father’s battle with Alzheimer’s, the spiritual crisis it triggered, and the years she spent in what she calls “spiritual drowning.” We talk about attachment, disappointment, failure, and the unexpected ways God shows up when everything else is falling apart. This conversation is a powerful example of how doubt and faith can co-exist. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re allowed to question your faith—or felt like you were losing your grip on God—this episode is for you. We explore: What happens when the God you believed in no longer matches your reality How therapy helped Heather not just psychologically but spiritually Why what feels like failure may be something deeper—and more redemptive The unexpected miracle Heather experienced at the end of her long season of doubt This isn’t a story of tidy answers. It’s a story of holding on, even when you’re not sure what you’re holding onto. 🎧 Listen now and share with someone who needs a reminder: doubt doesn’t mean you’re losing your faith—it might mean you’re learning to trust in a deeper way. 🔗 Heather’s new book: What If I’m Wrong?🔗 Connect with Heather: heatherthompsonday.com🔗 Follow Heather on Instagram: @HeatherThompsonDay 💬 Got a question or reflection? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. ‍ If you liked this episode, you’ll love:‍ ⁠Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & How to Support Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. Park Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook ‍ Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting ⁠faithgateway.com/NIVAB⁠ and using promo code BESTOFYOU Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to ⁠StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! ⁠ ‍ Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten ‍ While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if your most distressing thoughts aren’t who you are—but a signal pointing to pain that needs healing? Therapist and author Monica DiCristina joins me to talk about the deeper emotional and spiritual wounds that often lie beneath distressing thoughts. Monica shares her personal journey with trauma-related intrusive thoughts and the power of finally naming what hurt. We also explore what to do when intrusive thoughts show up in our inner worlds, how to seek the right kind of support, and why healing always starts with curiosity rather than shame. Pick up your copy of Monica's new book: Your Pain Has a Name: A Therapist's Invitation to Understanding Your Story and Sorting Out Who You Are from What Hurts Connect with Monica DiCristina 📞 Call 307-429-2525 to share your thoughts or a question for a future episode. If you liked this episode, you’ll love:‍ Episode 134: Bridging Mysticism and Science—A Personal JourneyThrough OCD with Therapist Ryan Kuja Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/NIVAB and using promo code BESTOFYOU Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! As a listener of The Best of You Podcast, you can qualify to see a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound design by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're tackling a topic that continues to strike a chord with so many of you: how to make a change when you're stuck between loyalty and growth, guilt and freedom, regret and redemption. If you’ve ever struggled with a complicated relationship or wrestled with the quiet shame of feeling stuck, this episode is for you. We explore: The 3 brave paths you can take when a relationship feels hard. A powerful story of a woman confronting regret. How to distinguish between true guilt and false guilt What "radical surrender" really means. Whether you're braving a big life change or feeling held back by old emotional patterns, this episode will gives you courage, clarity, and compassion. 📞 Plus, don’t forget to call 307-429-2525 to share your thoughts or a question for a future episode. ‍If you liked this, you’ll love:‍ Episode 140: If You Struggle with Guilt and Second-Guessing Yourself, This Will Set You Free – How to Stop Blaming Yourself for Things That Aren’t Your Fault ‍Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!‍ ‍Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at www.shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten ‍While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if fear isn’t a warning sign—but a signal you’re stepping into something that matters? I’m joined by the brilliant and creative Mary Marantz to explore why fear often shows up right before a breakthrough—and how to stop seeing it as a reason to back down. We also get into:* How fear hides behind perfectionism, people-pleasing, and procrastination* The surprising link between fear and creativity* Why grief is often the first step in learning to trust yourself* What it means to become the “grown-up in the room” for your own healing* How naming your inner critic can help disarm its power Check out Mary’s new book Underestimated! 📞 We want to hear from you! What’s one area of your emotional, mental, or spiritual health where you’d like to grow? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a voicemail with your name, where you’re from, and your answer. Your voice may be featured in a future episode! Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 10: What are Limiting Beliefs and How Do I Overcome Them with Mary Marantz Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People) Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/NIVAB and using promo code BESTOFYOU! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Give your loved ones a unique, heartfelt gift you’ll all cherish for years—StoryWorth! Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia HjortMusic by Andy LuitenSound design by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do I feel guilty for protecting my time or energy? Is this a boundary—or am I just avoiding someone? Boundaries stir up a lot of emotions. But what if they’re not about building walls, avoiding people, or being “selfish”? In this episode, I share a deeply personal and surprising take on what boundaries truly are—and why they matter more than you think. You'll hear: *Why healthy boundaries begin not with rejection, but with rhythm *The two most common ways we misuse boundaries *A powerful metaphor that changed how I think about relationships *How codependency, enmeshment, and burnout signal boundary issues *Real-life scripts and strategies to set boundaries with compassion and clarity Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 124: Boundaries & Numbing—How to Set Healthy Limits and Stop Avoiding Your Feelings Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Episode 7: Why Are Boundaries So Hard to Set? Thanks to our sponsors: Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia Hjort Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever felt emotionally exhausted—even while doing all the “right” things—this episode is for you. I’m sharing a personal story and unpacking something I see in so many women I work with: the quiet, often unnoticed pattern of denying your own needs in the name of being kind, helpful, or faithful. We’ll talk about how these patterns take root, how faith communities can unknowingly reinforce them, and why that emotional exhaustion you’re feeling might be trying to tell you something important. In this episode, I explore: * How codependency hides behind helping & overfunctioning * How the fawn response might be showing up in your life * The impact of church messages that tell us to "die to ourselves" without teaching us how to live * What healthy dependence looks like * Why your locus of control—internal vs. external—matters more than you think Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 5: What is Codependency and Why Does it Matter? Episode 14: The Fawn Response & The Hidden Root of People Pleasing Thanks to our sponsors: For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia Hjort Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, I’m joined by someone whose work has profoundly shaped my own healing journey—Dr. Hillary McBride. A psychologist, researcher, author, and speaker, Hillary is a leading voice in the integration of embodiment, spirituality, and trauma recovery. We discuss her personal story as well as themes from her powerful new book, Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing. Whether you’ve struggled with body image, experienced spiritual harm, or simply long to feel more whole—this conversation is for you. We explore: * Hillary’s story of healing from an eating disorder—and how it led her into her life’s work * Why body image issues are never just about the body * How trauma fragments our nervous system and disrupts our sense of safety, trust, and self * What spiritual trauma is and how it can quietly take root in early beliefs and experiences * How our attachment to God is often shaped by relational wounds—and what healing can look like Order your copy of Holy Hurt here Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 48: Loving Your Body as a Spiritual Practice, Why the Flesh Isn’t the Body, and 3 Heresies We Kind of Believe Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at www.shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Editing by Giulia Hjort Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel constantly driven to get everything right—to be the perfect partner, parent, worker, or friend? On this week's solo episode, Dr. Alison explores the hidden relationship between perfectionism and anxiety, revealing how trying to be perfect is often a disguised way of managing deeper fears. You'll discover: * Why perfectionism is rarely about actually being perfect. * The main ways anxiety cleverly disguises itself. * The surprising question you need to ask yourself when you can’t stop perfecting. * Practical steps to break free from perfectionistic behaviors. Today's episode will give you proven strategies to finally break free from perfectionism. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 29: Perfectionism and Proving Your Worth: How to Stop Chasing Approval and Start Living the Life You Actually Want Episode 112: Navigating Anxiety—Practical, Compassionate Insights to Recognize and Manage Anxiety Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound design by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices