We never cease to learn new things about ourselves throughout life.
People who we meet mirror to us sides that we might not be aware of.
The process of digging and excavating new layers of ourselves is an enriching process; discovering were is all started, is an added bonus.
In a society that is glued to screens the yearning for a realconnection is becoming stronger.
We have to find time to put screens away and connect with our children, spouses, colleagues and friends.
A real live connection is a soul connection.
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Imagine this: you are sitting in front of a person that you’ve heard lots of good things about them.
Most likely you feel appreciation, curiosity or interest towards them.
Now imagine another time when you sit in front of a person that you didn’t hear great things about them; as a matter of fact, the opposite is true.
Another time you find yourself sitting next to a person in airport or train station, and a chat starts between you two.
As as the conversation goes by, you discover that you share some interesting things with this person.
The question here is what YOU feel in these scenarios.
Many parents think they know their children more than anyone in the world.
Is it true?
And how limiting this thought could be for both parent and child?
Let’s discover this topic together.
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In recent Suzuki workshop and teacher training in Auckland, NZ, a theme has unfolded.
It was the topic of quitting.
Too many children around the world quit learning theirinstrument.
Many of them regret it later in their life.
It is rarely because they don’t like music.
The real reasons are hiding, waiting to be revealed.
Why does it happen and what can we do to change it.
Reading the signs before a child wants to quit, might preventthe dropping out.
In this episode we are exploring them, and the ways to work with them, to prevent quitting“No matter what”
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Environment is contagious.
One of the foundation quotes of Dr Shinichi Suzuki is : “Manis a child of his environment”.
Referring to the influence that environment has on the moulding of a person.
I’ve recently come across the term “Social contagion”.
Social contagion is the process by which behaviours,attitudes, emotions, or ideas spread rapidly and spontaneously through a group or social network.
It often occurs without individuals being consciously awareof the process.
This phenomenon, like an infectious disease, can influencethoughts, feelings, and actions in personal and professional life.
As such, it can have both negative consequences, such asself-harm or violence, and positive outcomes, like the spread of happiness or social learning.
In today’s world, we find ourselves many times not knowingwhere to look, which group to relate or belong to.
There’s confusion and disconnection.
Now, more than ever, it is important to choose our environment wisely.
When you want to do good, find the environment that willenable you to do good.
Choose the right soil to plant your seed.
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How connected you are with your emotions?
Do you feel you need to protect yourself from feeling them?
It might come out of necessity to protect yourself.
It might be a habit from early years.
Adults sometimes ridicule children, unaware of what it might do to them.
The way to listen to children is with seriousness and respect; as you’d do with adults.Emotions are there as signals.
Learning to live and relate to emotions should be a part of education from early years.
Suppressed emotions often become body symptoms.
We could ignore our feelings but not our pain.
How can we help people, especially our young ones , stay in touch with their emotions.
When children are asked “How are you”, it’s important they get the opportunity to answer for themselves, from their heart.
We need someone to hear how we feel, weneed to be seen and heard.
When parents jump in with “say very well\ thank you” children are deprived of their right to express joy, sadness, grief, fear etc.
‘Very well thank you’ is not a feeling.
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Who are you listening to?
To other people?
To the voices in your head?
To social media?
To the news?
To your parents?
To your friends?
Who are the voices that are ruling your life?
As we grow up and become more aware, we realise the importance of getting to know the voices in our head and learn to create mature relationships with them.
What does it take to do it?
Let’s explore it in this episode.
It can be an exciting process to answer the following questions:
· How do I choose which one to listen to
· How do I distinguish between them
· How do I get to know them
Life then becomes an interesting journey.
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This is a question we keep asking throughout our lives.
What is my life purpose, my soul purpose?
Whether we ask it on a big scale or a small one, this question keeps haunting us, and insists of finding the answer.
It’s a question that comes usually later in life .
It visits us when it seems that we got everything we were aspiring to have in life, and still, we feel that somethingis missing.
In today’s episode we explore this question.
Why was the key put in our heart and a life story of (almost) losing the way and finding it.
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“Mum, can I pleeeeeaaaaase go to the beach? Everyoneis going!”
How many times you’ve heard your children raising the seemingly magic wand of ‘everyone’?
When there’s a need to give more weight to a request or desire, the use of ‘everyone’ becomes frequent.
Where is this coming from?
I invite you to explore it together.
When we lived in tribal times we couldn’t survive without the tribe.
Our psyche remembers the necessity of the group.
We still need our “tribe” . We need communities.
Let’s look at this dynamic of “everyone” from both child and parent’s point of views.
When we grow up, we might forget that things are not the same.
The fear of loneliness plays role in the culture of everyone.
The question we need to ask is how we can develop our own voice to allow our sovereignty and how can we give ourselves permission to trust it.
In our fear of isolation, we allow the power of others to take over our own.
During the course of our lives, we might join groups without really checking if they suit us.
Suzuki sensei’s words “Man is a son of his environment” guides us to see the reflections in groups.
When we become a part of a group the group becomes our environment.
As adults we can teach ourselves toinquire and investigate before we say ‘yes’ to the notion of everyone.
Can you find in your heart the courage to think differently.
You don’t have to shout it loudly; there’s enough noise in the world.
Your voice will be reflected in your actions, in your smile, in the way you walk and talk, in your listening. Step by step you create a new culture; one that substitutes the‘culture of everyone’.
And the beauty in it is that by this you inspire others to do the same.
And all of you create a new container of listening, respecting, curious of each other without the need to always agree.
I feel that we are ready for it. As a matter of fact we don’t have much choice but doing it.
It’s not whose voice is louder. It’s who is more loving in the deep sense of the word.
When I was first introduced to Suzuki Talent Education, Ithought that in the future this will become a main stream education.
After more than 50 years I realised it wasn’t the case.
When I see children, parents and teachers who come to my studio and to the workshops and events around the world, I’m reminded over and over again that the group and the time together creates a huge change that lasts until the next time we meet.
Now I see it doesn’t have to be a main stream way in order to have an impact on so many people.
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Link to "Nurtured by love" / Shinichi Suzuki
Suzuki talent education is much more than music.
In Suzuki words “ Character first- Ability second”.
We develop our hearts through the music.
As parents we give birth to our children.We are the closest people to our children.
We think “ nobody knows my child better than me”.
Is it true?
In this episode I’m inviting you to ask yourself the question: “do I REALLY know my child?”
“Do I know her/him the best I can?”
One of the roles of Suzuki parent is to assist in practice.
In todays’ world, many parents come to the practice session exhausted and unable to enjoy this time.
What could we change?
If you feel you have tried everything, maybe you could try to look at your child with different eyes.
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The Suzuki Triangle represents the team work that exists in Suzuki Talent Education.
Parent, teacher and child work together in the optimal and natural way.
It is essential for each part of the triangle to know their role. In today's episode we talk about how to make the Suzuki triangle effective for his vision to come about.
“I want - if I can - to get education changed frommere instruction to education in the real sense of the word - education that inculcates, brings out, develops the human potential, based on the growing life of the child. That is why I am devoting my efforts to furthering Talent Education: what a child becomes depends entirely on how he is educated. Myprayer is that all children on this globe may become fine human beings, happy people of superior ability, and I am devoting all my energies to making this come about, for I am convinced that all children are born with this potential.” (Dr. Suzuki)
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Reflections on:
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In the ever-growing fast pace of life, the need to slow down becomes an essential necessity to stay sane and healthy.
I’ve been reflecting on the topic for quite some time now.
The question arises; do I slow down or does the slowing down happens to me?
The measures of time stay the same. There are 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour and 60 seconds in a minute.
But when we slow down, the 60 seconds in the minute seem to go more slowly.
It feels like minutes and seconds smile to me and at each other.
When the slow down happens, time and experience feel more valuable.
When we slow down, a discussion with something bigger than us begins.
This ‘something’ has been there for aeons of years.
It contains a vast all-encompassing wisdom. Wisdom, not information.
This kind of wisdom goes hand in hand with space, with silence, with different time.
It has a flavour of marvel.
This is wisdom that resides in the heart. A knowing.
When I trust this knowing, it works for the better of me.
Today I asked soul, “what would you want me to do in order to serve you better. “
The answer was, “Live your life”, from your diamond”.
Silence is so needed in today’s world.
To hear the answers to our questions we need to listen.
To listen we need silence.
And silence has a special movement in it.
Many adults think that children cannot be silent or slow.
In my many years of working with children and parents I’ve learnt that this is not true.
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Pace of life is speeding up in today’s world, until something forces us to slow down.
These cross roads happen in loss and grief.
If until then we ran away from pain, denying it, pretendinglife can happen with it, these events stop us in our track.
It’s a raining day, cold and wet. A perfect invitation toreflect on time and grief.
Grief has no time; it does ‘t cease to exist as the years go by.
The bigger the love the bigger the grief.
I’m reflecting on all kinds of grief.
Grieving the loss of a beloved, loss of circumstances,abilities, friendships, jobs, faith, trust, connection, belongings, ideals.
Time allows grief to change; to show it’s different facets.
Grief can hint on what has gone missing together with theloss .
What you lose forces you to change identity.
Time of grief is like eternity.
Old people remember a different world. It can be a source of hope. They were difficult times in the past and humanity went through them.
Grief work is recommended.
Grief doesn’t need to be fixed. Just witnessed. Like time.
And there lies the medicine.
Connection is remedy.
May you grieve well.
May you have courage to go through the gate of grief, and experience what awaits for you on the other side of it.
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Learning is a joy.
In this episode we talk about:
· The joy of discovery
· How to help the natural process to happen
· How to provide the best conditions for learning?
· How mistakes correct themselves
· The Satisfaction in Self-discovery
· What are enough repetitions
· How listening is the main tool
· How to offer your presence as helpWatch on YouTube
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Parenting today is becoming a very challenging task.
In my travels, lectures, seminars, webinars and workshops I meet parents who do their best to learn and improve this task.
I am listening to their questions, seeing their struggle and feeling deep appreciation to what they do.
The Suzuki triangle of Parent- Teacher -Child offers a successful platform to work together as a community.
Today I'm reflecting and sharing how my childhood experiences evoked the love of teaching in me.
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Today we will be looking at regret no 3 that people expresson their death bed, “I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings”.
As children it was easy to express our feelings.
We hated, we loved, we laughed, we cried, authentically andwith no need to analyse or suppress.
So what happened since then?
What made us change and suppress our feelings until webecame unaware of them?
The seeds started in thinking that feelings were wrong, all ofwhich have been put in our heads at a young age.
When you child says, “I hate you”, try to be the adult in the room.
The healthy way to be close to feelings is to have permission to express them.
Children who grow up knowing they are loved, no matter what, find it easier to develop relationships with their feelings.
When they become adults, they have skills to be in touch with their feelings; they find it naturally to love and be loved.
This transfers to their relationship in adulthood. It helps them develop the language of the heart, which is so important in a world that sent the heart- language to the underground.
When we can acknowledge our feeling, we get many insights.
Instead of blaming others for what we feel, we can be kind toourselves with what we feel.
When people push our buttons, it could be an invitation togo deeper within ourselves.
We can learn about ourselves from the way we feel towards other people.
Please don’t die before giving yourself permission toexpress your feelings. It’s free, and it can be done in a respectful way.
People around you will be inspired to do the same.
When the heart is light, there’s more space to love and beloved.
To watch the video of this episode on YouTube.
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In episode #105 we talked about the first regret people express when they reach end of life.
Today we will look at the second one, “I wish I hadn't worked so hard.”
It’s not as simple as it might sound.
What is it that people feel they missed by spending too much time at work?
Do they refer to relationships?
To friendships?
To hobbies?
I’m inviting you to reflect with me. You can watch the video of this episode on YouTube
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At the beginning of the school year, we are invited to reflect on the year ahead of us.
How and what we'd like this year to be.
The commitment list is long; the rewards list is much longer.
Here are some reminders of how we could make life easier.
How we could take “scary “ decisions, just to realise that we have a choice.
And is boredom a bad thing?
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We all have regrets.
They become vivid and clear towards the end of life and / or when we are ready to look at them.
Regrets can haunt and torture us, and they can also help us contemplate our present and future, and adjust our life accordingly.
Today we will reflect on the first one in the list :
‘I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.’
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I'm back from Asia Suzuki Conference in Korea, with hope and inspiration.
I saw children making music together and connecting through music.
Parents connecting around music, and teacher sharing ideas.
A community of music that is the antidote to the pandemic of loneliness.
Listen, and be inspired to see how music could change the world.
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