My grandpa had this dream my mom told me about that I was a preacher. As somebody whose spiritual values align WAY off from anything remotely related to religion, I think it speaks to how all this is held together.

I align with a lot of Yoga philosophy and I’ve integrated bits and pieces of what points me in the direction of what in Demon Slayer (anime) is referred to as the Transparent World. What’s beautiful about this too is that the main character wins his battles after struggle and getting his ASS whipped, but his intention in protecting humanity, he radiates an energy of reawakening, reminding the enemy who they were. Now this doesn’t have a happy ending but it shows that the demons are stuck in their suffering story only to be set “free” from it by being reminded through the light our main character shines.

- my bad that went into something not for this platform yet or podcast episode lol so lemme get you your description -

I walk a tight rope between reality and the dream world. I imagine myself doing a thing before u do it as a practice for teaching myself that I’ve experienced the thing before. They say sleep is the cousin of death, which if that’s the case, what makes for the cousin of life? Is it reality, is it dreams or nightmares, meditation? Or all of em!?

I believe there’s a usefulness to navigating stigma if we can tap into that world and bring it into the one you love in. I’m not saying discard the body, the mind or the limitations. I’m saying to align your dreams with the laws of nature. Don’t jump off a building thinking you can fly. Don’t do any illegal shit. This is an invitation to do what all spiritual, religious, and self help coaches and teachers tell us which is to look within. Look at you aside from identities of the body and with that same angle you see these aspects of self, look at your waking reality.

ONE OF THESE has to align to the other and that’ll be whichever you give the highest quality of awareness to.

If herpes Keeps you from dating, stigma keeps you from socializing, you fear rejection and being outcast, think of those thoughts as your dreams because that’s where those come from. So what you see in reality is that and you live those rules. If you challenge those thoughts with behaviors in reality, notice if the thoughts change and become supported by reality around you.

That undercurrent of consciousness, the dream of reality is where the intersection brings up the Neutron of the atom. Think of the proton as stillness, and electrons as the constant motion of reality. You, the neutron right there, are the choice, awareness, presence that navigates the duality of the two, and this episode serves as a nudge for you to look in that direction of the inner world AND bring something out of that to be expressed and experienced in reality with us!

Don’t escape us though lol please don’t. Bring it to us. Gimme them dreams! Show em off to us, tell us about that dream of yours that is your lived experience so we can sing along, dance to your rhythm created through your lived experience. That’s the beauty of life. Entering that transparent world of dreams through sleep, visualization, meditation, (sometimes medication, masturbation, or procrastination)!

Enjoy this episode of SPFPP and lemme know what ya think. Feels good to me to say this stuff I been holding on to outloud so thanks for listening.

Yes. For those who like the short version of things, you absolutely can be Nonmonogamous if you have herpes. I talk from my own personal experience in this podcast episode and shake the dust off from not talking about my experience for so long, being mindful of those around me so I don’t talk about my partners or offer too much detail there just out of respect to them.

When navigating a herpes diagnosis and dating/relationships it’s important that we just get comfortable sharing who we are, naming our needs, and understand there will be people who do and don’t want to support us in meeting those needs. Some people align, others don’t. When we can detach from the expectation of getting our needs met from a specific person or group of people, we find that a lot of our resistances to getting what we want evoke detached as well.

I share why I find nonmonogamy, particularly polyamory appealing from the perspective of my even platonic relationships with women having been a threat to past partners. Hell even my work through SPFPP has been a challenge to navigate in past relationships due to jealousy of me having found fulfillment in my work and the impact people share that I’ve made on them being a trigger for partners.

All that to say, I have herpes and it’s out there to the world and I’m still finding love, fulfillment, relationships, and this wouldn’t be possible if I was hidden in the shame of believing my herpes status defined my relationship structure so I want you to look at that for yourself and move forward in a way that works for you!

This episode I wanted to just have something to reference for people who want to know my experience. Usually support calls bring in questions about me and my experience from diagnosis to the point of having created the SPFPP platform.

I share my experience with my first symptoms, my diagnosis, the early resources I was provided with, disclosures and dating. This is the story leading n up to the start of the podcast with some sprinkles of hindsight interwoven into it.

I speak to some useful stuff to where if you are considering a support call, https://spfpp.org/stigma-support-call this is a better starting point so we can maximize our time together for you to vent, ask questions about your experience, and to just be witnessed in your curiosity navigating whatever aspect of having herpes you need!

If you haven’t subscribed to the monthly newsletter, do that here www.spfpp.org/herpes-newsletter so you can be on top of virtual and in person events, workshops, and social opportunities like our celebration in NYC for episode 400 of spfpp on December 19!!!

Anyways check this out and I hope this points you in the direction of what you need more efficiently.

Stay present.

Closed mouths don’t get fed! SO LADIES AND FEMMES SHOOT YOUR SHOT!

In this conversation with Goddess Bats (@actuallybats), we talk about various intersections of identity when navigating herpes, polyamory, sex work, rejection, and identity. Together, we go over:

• What does it feel like to be blamed for “giving” someone herpes—and how do you advocate for yourself one-on-one?

• Are statistics useful, or just a paradox when “everyone has it but no one talks about it”?

• Disclosing in polyamory: do you only date people with herpes? And what about play parties—when does disclosure really happen?

• Never being rejected for herpes—how is that possible? And does ghosting count as rejection?

• The difference between rejection from men vs. women, and why “no” sometimes gets misunderstood as “try harder.”

• Having “game” in sex-positive spaces compared to everywhere else—what does that even mean?

• What exactly happens at a sex party (and what’s it like to walk into one without knowing)?

• How shame from religion, being poly, bisexuality, and sex work all intersect with stigma.

• Why boundaries—clearly spoken—are the real markers of respect versus playful teasing.

We also ask: what can the stigmatized teach us about navigating freedom, authenticity, and connection?

If you’ve ever wondered what conversations about herpes, rejection, sex parties, and stigma is all like, check us out here.

When I tell you all that this was an unexpected conversation, I cannot tell you how . . . surprised I was. You'll hear it in the interview how shocked I was when the topic came up. I knew we'd talk about herpes, but the Bipolar conversation was something that naturally came up.

We go into what bipolar episodes for our guest were like, the hypersexuality that ironically didn't lead to her herpes diagnosis, and how people around her were impacted by her mental health experience as well. There is absolutely a stigma on Stigma stigma here and as we often say, sexual health is mental health. Our guest this week is super dope for being willing to go there with us and be patient with me getting back into the swing of interviewing people!

This episode is important to me because I have a family history and relationship history with partners who've struggled with their mental health and there's a lot of understanding and compassion I can have now that looking back on was dismissed as "oh she was just crazy". I even remember my family dismissing relatives' not normal behavior as "Oh so and so just talkin' crazy" but I never really had a REAL conversation with someone navigating an actual diagnosis, I've just experienced behavior from them that I just couldn't describe.

I'm very fortunate to be in a place in life where my life's work I've been called to supports not only my healing past wounds as it relates to sexuality and stigma, but also mental health stigma. I couldn't be more grateful to be in the position of someone who can witness others with presence and learn from them to be able to help others.

We have some events coming up at www.spfpp.org/events virtually if you want to check those out. I advise you to subscribe to the newsletter: www.spfpp.org/herpes-newsletter to stay up to speed on what's happening from support groups, to disclosure workshops, and community events.

In this episode, I reflect on what it means to hold my rhythm, even when it’s uncomfortable. I use the metaphor of the sun—a star that doesn’t shift its light or heat just because someone says they’re cold. If it did, the consequences would be catastrophic for everything in orbit. I realized that I’ve done the human version of that—altering my rhythm, light, and presence in a past relationship to make someone else comfortable. And it nearly broke me.

This is my story of stepping away from my purpose, falling into depression, and slowly making my way back through the emotional friction of grief, guilt, and shame. I speak candidly about being emotionally manipulated, about my fears of being used, and about the weight I’ve carried trying to appear strong and unbothered.

But this isn’t just about pain. It’s about transmutation. About how I’ve found my way back to being the regulating presence I am when I’m in alignment—through smudging with First Peoples in Canada, through therapy, and through naming what I was most ashamed to admit: that I was hurt, and I still love her... but I love myself more now.

This episode is for anyone who’s dimmed their light to be loved. For anyone still healing. And for anyone who needs a reminder that you don’t need to change your orbit to be worthy. You just need to be present in your own gravity.

In this vulnerable and insightful episode of Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame speaks with Jhivan, who shares their experience navigating life three months post-herpes diagnosis. The conversation explores the emotional and sexual impact of the diagnosis, the fear of transmission, and the internal debate around only dating people who have the same type of herpes.

Together, they unpack:

• What it means to avoid intimacy after a diagnosis

• The logic behind only dating people with the same HSV type

• How fear of transmission affects identity and sexual expression

• The cultural stigma differences between Europe, the Caribbean, and the U.S.

• Learning your body, triggers, and finding peace in the new normal

This episode is a powerful listen for anyone who’s felt the pressure to protect others at the expense of their own connection needs, and for those questioning how to safely navigate dating after herpes.

2025 took me through it. The woman I thought I was building a future with left. I moved in with my grandma, then into my own spot, and just when I started to settle—boom—tornado. Total loss. In every direction of life, I felt resistance. Everything I did to “fix” things only made the weight heavier.

That’s when I got the message from what I can only describe as the echo of my nervous system: do nothing.

Not as in give up, but as in pause. Stop grasping. Let go. From that stillness, things started aligning again—without force, without explanation. That phrase became a mantra for me in the dark: do nothing. And I started noticing how much I was still trying to be liked, trying to defend myself in other people’s narratives. But “do nothing” showed me those stories are theirs to hold—not mine.

“All my effort and action taken just kept creating unnecessary resistance between what I chose and acquiring it.”

“There are stories people carry about me—some that have nothing to do with me, some that do, and some that are about their own avoidance of accountability.”

“Do nothing. That was the message. And when I did nothing, blessings and pleasant experiences validated that choice.”

“Depression was the teacher herpes could never be. And we see what I’ve done with herpes.”

“The same way the sun became the star it is through pressure, heat, and friction—I’m becoming through stagnancy, expectation, and failure.”

This episode is a marker for me. A timestamp. A reminder that I don’t have to react to the world around me. I get to orient my internal world—my beliefs, my nervous system, my rhythm—and trust that the external world will shape around that alignment.

What came through this period of stillness wasn’t defeat—it was clarity. This is how I remember who I am. And this episode is my declaration of that remembrance.

In this intimate conversation, Melissa LeSane opens up about the messiness of living through transition—stepping away from her role as a therapist, navigating a marriage of over two decades, entering a new relationship, and rediscovering herself as a sensitive, spiritual being.

What begins as a discussion on non-monogamy turns into a reflection on how presence—not perfection—is the path back to wholeness. Melissa and Courtney explore the weight of expectations, emotional overstimulation, and the courage to allow identity to shift in real time.

There's a stigma about breakups that you're only supposed to remember and recall the negative so you stay away, heal, don't go back. Especially for men, we're supposed to get someone younger, hotter, make more money, and get hotter. And to do this, you almost have to over-identify with this smallness of self and lean into that negative state.

I choose differently. I don't Miss my Ex. I miss my Motherfucking Homie ya'll. I've tried to just keep this to myself but it won't stay and I feel the pressure build up and as I navigate convos it seeps out unconsciously. So I took my time, wrote this, slept on it, reflected, and feel like this validates my own identity as someone navigating grief.

bell hooks defined "queer" as a way of describing oneself without being confined by fixed definitions or labels. It's about acknowledging one's authenticity and living a life that aligns with that self, even if it doesn't fit neatly into conventional categories like "gay" or "straight." For hooks, being queer also meant being at odds with societal norms and finding ways to thrive on one's own terms. 

In this solo episode, I explore how queer community, education, and presence have deeply influenced my understanding of masculinity—not by changing who I am, but by giving me the freedom to express it with more honesty, softness, and presence.

As a cisgender heterosexual Black man, I’ve found more validation of my identity in queer spaces than in the spaces I was told I “belonged” in. This episode is a reflection on that truth, especially at the intersection of Pride and Men’s Mental Health Month.

I also share how stigma—specifically herpes stigma—has been a gateway into deeper self-inquiry around identity, performance, and liberation. Using Bell Hooks’ definition of queerness as a guide, I talk about how embracing the challenge of unbecoming has brought me closer to who I actually am.

This is for anyone rethinking what masculinity looks like when it’s not measured in dominance or stats—but in connection, curiosity, and care.

Last time I was at STI Engage it was in 2019 where I submitted an abstract on how people living with herpes could find psycho-social support for their mental health through podcasts. Fast forward 6 years later after hundreds of thousands of podcast listens, tens of thousands of conversations, thousands of survey responses, and hundreds of podcasts, we're back with a lot more clarity and consistency to present on the power of what was born through podcasting, the creation of community. Listen in on my session live from Phoenix AZ where I lead the room through a meditation on what stigma feels like at a somatic level, use a real time example of the support cycle from someone seeking it, to it being met by identity validation and community.

If you have a conference or opportunity for SPFPP to share our story, reach out through www.spfpp.org. I'm also always looking for guests to share their experiences with stigma so if you're interested, let me know!

MAN! I forgot what I said the episode title would be but it rhymed and it was cold ya'll! You'll hear it in the episode.

In this solo episode, I reflect on what the tornado that hit St. Louis took from me—and, more importantly, what it gave me. I talk about the gift of presence, the importance of environment, and how stigma fragments our sense of self. It’s through presence—being still, aligned, and honest—that we pull ourselves back together from that fragmentation.

I also announce that Mondays at 7:30pm Central are now dedicated to SPFPP events, creating a space for us to connect, reflect, and hold presence together.

This episode is a reminder that my purpose has always been to empower people navigating stigma with a sense of choice—how they move, how they heal, how they align. I share my gratitude for my support system during this time of displacement and how this season has clarified that it’s time for me to follow through on what I was meant to do: move to New York.

This isn’t about running back to comfort—this is about orbiting my purpose. I’m ready to take SPFPP and my life to the next evolution by aligning my beliefs, behaviors, and environment with who I really am: someone who values challenge and liberation above all else.

This was quite a conversational car ride with my friend/board member, Dr. Amber Sophus. We were talking about how people with different income levels process their herpes diagnosis differently and access and willingness to seek out resources for support looks different for these groups as well.

The conversation led into some discussions about how people (mainly women) talk to themselves, how I need to stop calling myself homeless, and a few other identity components that open up the runway for future discussions on stigma.

Dr. Sophus works in public health so naturally we spoke more about STIs, sexual health, and behaviors around people knowing that HIV is more manageable, and we have pre-exposure meds that treat Chlamydia chlamydia and gonorrhea, and their risk tolerances.

I've been a little ungrounded lately just due to life events. I'm getting back into my rhythm of consistently recording podcast episodes so thank you for your patience with me as I shake off the cobwebs from these past two weeks.

I mention our webinar tonight on disclosure which can currently be found at www.spfpp.org/events (you have to register) but it'll be over after 7pm central time and you'll have to reach out to me for the recording access, but there's time if you're reading/listening to this on May 23rd before then.

Enjoy this conversation.

What does it mean to live in alignment—with your identity, your energy, and your story? In this soulful episode of Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame is joined by astrologer Tasha Beg (aka Agent of Pluto) for a powerful conversation about identity, ego death, and the journey from shame to self-trust. Together, they explore the intersections of presence, stigma, astrology, and atomic awareness—unpacking what happens when we stop performing and start just being.

Connect with Tasha at www.agentofpluto.com

IG: @agent.of.pluto

IG: @thepopastrologist

In this defining solo episode, Courtney Brame shares the atomic model that’s become the foundation of his purpose, presence, and practice. Drawing from physics, yoga philosophy, and personal experience with stigma, he reveals a spiritual framework where the atom becomes a mirror for conscious living.

As the neutron, Courtney stabilizes his proton—his purpose to inspire conscious choice through stigma—and orbits aligned actions across shells that reflect rhythm, emotional truth, and freedom.

This is more than a metaphor. It's a spiritual technology. A path. A way back home.

If you've ever felt lost in your identity, your diagnosis, or your desires… this episode offers a structure for re-entry.

Topics covered include:

• What it means to “live like an atom”

• The roles of protons, neutrons, and electrons in life alignment

• How stigma and shame disconnect us from our nucleus

• Resonance vs. drifting

• Applying the Yamas and Niyamas to stabilize purpose

• Why Courtney’s presence got him kicked off Positive Singles

This episode is a transmission, not a performance. Listen to remember what you already know.

This episode marks the end of an era. Since 2017, the SPFPP podcast has held space for people navigating herpes stigma—but now, it’s time for a shift. I’m closing out Season 1 with some real talk about why I’m expanding the mission. It’s bigger than herpes. Season 2 will center more broadly around positivity—mental health, emotional healing, identity, and minimizing stigma across the board.

I share where I’ve been emotionally, what’s brought me here, and what I’ve learned about myself, relationships, and the weight of stigma—beyond just a herpes diagnosis. There’s grief, there’s liberation, and there’s clarity.

If you’ve been here since the early days, thank you. If you’re just finding this—welcome. Season 1 will live on as a resource. Season 2 is something that maintains the integrity of season 1 minus the herpes exclusivity, Something Positive for Positive People.

This episode features a real, open convo with Tamar Weir—someone I connected with through her honesty about living with herpes and navigating non-monogamy. Tamar shares her story of being diagnosed with HSV-2 in college, the support she had early on, and what it’s been like moving through the world with both herpes and a relationship style that challenges the norm.

We talk about disclosure fatigue, especially when you’re non-monogamous and have to keep having the STI conversation over and over. Tamar shares how she’s shifted from educating people out of insecurity to setting more intentional boundaries—and what it means to not just disclose, but to decide when and how it’s worth it.

We also get into how different the stigma around herpes feels outside the U.S., the emotional labor of being “the one who always starts the hard conversations,” and how she’s found strength through softness. If you’ve ever felt like dating requires too much emotional detachment, or if you’re navigating how to talk about herpes in sex-positive spaces, this one will land.

Tamar runs a blog called Everything Juicy and an Instagram page called Pomegranate Pleasure (@pomegranatepleasure on Instagram) where she explores sexuality, taboo, and the sensual side of being human. You’ll hear how both herpes and non-monogamy have been portals for her into deeper self-awareness, body wisdom, and connection with others.

General Notes:

• Disclosure Fatigue + Non-Monogamy – The energy drain of having to educate new partners while also managing the burden of stigma.

• Support Matters – Tamar’s initial support system helped her form a healthy relationship with her diagnosis.

• Stigma Feels Cultural – Her experiences outside the U.S. reinforce how much of herpes stigma is socially constructed here in the States.

• Shifting from Educating to Boundary-Setting – She shares how disclosure shifted from proving worth to honoring capacity.

• Navigating Sex-Positive Spaces – We talk about navigating play parties and kink spaces with an STI and the mixed reactions someone can face.

• Reframing the Body’s Wisdom – Her outbreaks became cues for rest and self-reflection, not shame.

I recorded this episode on the 12-year anniversary of my herpes diagnosis. In it, I talk openly about the grief I've been processing following a recent breakup, and how anger—something I’ve long masked with niceness—has been quietly shaping my relationships, my work, and my sense of self. I explore how my childhood experiences, emotional suppression, and fear of being perceived as violent have all played a role in keeping me from fully expressing what I need. This is about reclaiming my anger—not as something destructive, but as a compass that points to my unmet needs, boundaries, and desires. It’s also about integrating the split versions of myself I’ve been moving through: the safe, stoic me and the playful, impulsive one. This episode is as much a check-in with y’all as it is with myself.