In this episode I explore the field of emotional biology and the science behind how emotions are the scaffolding to idiopathic disease. How Entheogens are being shown to modulate the epigenetic component of illness status.

Coming back to some old texts while in a whirlwind of instability. Awakening to a better understanding of the Bardo Thodal and how it flavors my ambition to coping towards ambiguous loss.

Recognizing The Shadow in myself and in the collective to then explore how I can integrate the darker parts of my psyche. Why understanding my potential to be a monster allows for a higher understanding of my thoughts and actions

Finding comfort in a Ram Das lecture that reintroduced how a hierarchy of needs is attached to a false conditioned persona. How investment in this process can lead to separateness.

Exploring the emotional tension with a high and terrifying dose of cannabis. Treating this process as an extreme ritual to jumping into very uncomfortable and necessary spaces in facing what I’ve been denying. How learning to self love calmed a high state of anxiety on the upswing of the experience.

Here I explain the buildup and philosophy around my jiu jitsu program that helps new students integrate into academy’s more prepared.

Dealing with a triggering phone call that then allowed me to move through the fear it placed on my lap. A mild vision quest that enlightened me to the power of intently listening. How I’ve integrated leaning into the most uncomfortable questions with ceremony and plant medicines.

I recall a very significant trip to Colorado with a close friend. I discover more about my toxic attachments to my caretaker identity. How an ice bath spiraled me into an authentic emotional release. And when intentions are made, how serendipity gifts me opportunities to do hard inner work.

How shame may be my greatest ally in the continuous pursuit to change. Why enthusiasm and sparks of motivation are superficially naive tools. Attaching an action to something outside of yourself (meaning/purpose) yields consistency

Exploring the questions of accountability for members on FDA councils. Why so many therapies are restricted and why uprooting the idea that there’s countless accounts of conflicts of interest is seen as fringe thinking

The feelings of resistance towards personal advice. How pondering that sensation spiraled into a discovery that furthered my own trauma designation while exposing a deep seeded hypocrisy trap

Fleshing out the idea that when a parental figure betrays your trust it may condition how we question hierarchies and ridicule from the nurtured basic norm . How to stimulate intuition which can make independent thinking the anchor in a world that pulls in countless directions. The dangers of groupthink and the fear that directs us to dissolve our identities into conformity

Tracing the dynamics that may exist in the answer to the question of why we see so much gun violence. Recognizing the paradigm of “isms” that corrupt our idea of worth and meaning. Using the Joker movie as a catalyst into pondering where energy may be better funneled to dampen societal brutality

Detailing one of the thought experiments that aims to address the tension from a previous float experience. Using the seat of self concept as a point of meditation to make that time more useful

My experience in a sensory deprivation session that through surprising tension, highlighted the degree of my existential attachment. Exploring new modalities of personal practice on the persuit to obtaining control in losing it.

I explore the MTHFR gene and how demethylation can deregulate many different systems of the body. The overlooking of early diagnostic steps that may confirm an origin to patients health problems.

With some of the recent events at the Capitol and all the talk about the demographic of people, I find the conspiracy theorist at the forefront of this unfortunate movement. Looking into my own conspiratorial bias and discovering the emotions that trigger the feelings of wanting to be "unique" in holding controversial information. Also addressing that not all conspiracies are without their validated merits.

On my path to understand microdosing I discovered the great Paul Stamets and his work with medicinal mushrooms and disease states. Focusing on lions mane I expand my knowledge about this potent and natural regenerative fungi as a supplement and all its potentials.

Identifying tactics and signs by "awakened" mentors who perpetuate a dishonest need to help by martyrdom and instead inflate a disillusioned ego.

A very profound and life changing moment that was driven by a potent psilocybin ceremony. I read a personal memoir that recounts an emotional build up into my own "ego death"