Etiquette has a new judge.
Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde investigate improvised social lawbreaking in a moderately thrilling, low-stakes fictional true crime podcast. We weekly and boldly prosecute the most innocuous violations of social decorum in a world that’s both too polite for its own good, and too shamelessly chaotic to continue unpunished.
In each episode, one of us brings a "case file", an unlegislated social law. We collectively create a scene in which this law is broken, leaving the other to react to the unfolding etiquette crime with shock, confusion, support, or judgment.
Then we drop the act and deliberate on the correct legal consequences.
The crime? Social faux pas that we all secretly fear.
The trial? Ten to fifteen minutes of litigation.
We bravely dig into these micro-crimes, cross-examine experts (ourselves), and debate whether these laws should be upheld, expanded, or struck from the record entirely.
Tune in for untrue crime, biting social commentary, courtroom drama (minus the stakes and education), and the gratification of seeing manners put on trial. It’s a procedural where the crime is petty, but the crossexaminations are also petty.
In a world teeming with rules you didn't even know existed, Premeditated is your court of last resort.
Etiquette has a new judge.
Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde investigate improvised social lawbreaking in a moderately thrilling, low-stakes fictional true crime podcast. We weekly and boldly prosecute the most innocuous violations of social decorum in a world that’s both too polite for its own good, and too shamelessly chaotic to continue unpunished.
In each episode, one of us brings a "case file", an unlegislated social law. We collectively create a scene in which this law is broken, leaving the other to react to the unfolding etiquette crime with shock, confusion, support, or judgment.
Then we drop the act and deliberate on the correct legal consequences.
The crime? Social faux pas that we all secretly fear.
The trial? Ten to fifteen minutes of litigation.
We bravely dig into these micro-crimes, cross-examine experts (ourselves), and debate whether these laws should be upheld, expanded, or struck from the record entirely.
Tune in for untrue crime, biting social commentary, courtroom drama (minus the stakes and education), and the gratification of seeing manners put on trial. It’s a procedural where the crime is petty, but the crossexaminations are also petty.
In a world teeming with rules you didn't even know existed, Premeditated is your court of last resort.
[Olde Timey Baseball Broadcaster]: "And here comes Lubecker to the bar counter. Cool drink of milk, this kid is. Gritted his way through the high school party scene, and now boasts a 3 drink minimum tab in the local bar scene".
On this episode of PREMEDITATED, AJ Lubecker joins Graham and Neil to deliberate the oft witnessed single beverage tabs. They also find time to pass verdicts on city halls, CCV numbers and people who are bummers.
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Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane micro-crimes or you just love watching stuff on YouTube, subscribe to our channel today [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqB5ES0IypOjHVug2m_5bPA] for access to OUR ENTIRE LIBRARY OF EPISODES plus heaps of delicious clips.
In the meantime, pass some of your own judgements into the comments below. The First Amendment’s fun, right?
FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE:
https://www.instagram.com/premeditatedpod/
https://www.tiktok.com/@premeditatedpod
https://open.spotify.com/show/0R94ymhWOMibKQ53PLKjZX
FOLLOW AJ EVERYWHERE:
https://www.instagram.com/therealestaj/https://www.youtube.com/@AJLubecker
Premeditated Podcast is created and hosted by Neil Zumwalde and Graham Cameron. The show is produced and curated by Matt Hanchey. Special thanks to Myrriah Gossett.
"We should hang out!" --- OH NO! NOT AGAIN! My blood curdles with indecision. "Yeah! Let's hang out. Now what?Now nothing, unless one of us makes another first move.We get to the bottom of this standoff in this weeks episode with the mustachioed heartthrob of indie improv: Sam Bodenstein.
FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE:https://www.instagram.com/premeditatedpod/https://www.tiktok.com/@premeditatedpodhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0R94ymhWOMibKQ53PLKjZXPremeditated Podcast is created and hosted by Neil Zumwalde and Graham Cameron. The show is produced and curated by Matt Hanchey. Special thanks to Myrriah Gossett.
Fin Argus, musician and host of One of Us Podcast joins us to solicit the unsolicitable: The Dicture Picture itself. We celebrate the 23rdnd letter of the alphabet and Neil decrees that the wold fill his phone with the unspeakable graphic pics that plague so many of our straight sisters' dating profiles. Yes, Neil will gladly fall on that phallic grenade. Grindr vs Scruff and uncontrollable tics have been discussed at length. Join us, Jurors.W.
FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE:
https://www.instagram.com/premeditatedpod/https://www.tiktok.com/@premeditatedpodhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0R94ymhWOMibKQ53PLKjZXFOLLOW Fin Argus EVERYWHERE:Music Video: Playboy 1973 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKHZc3dhz6Y&list=RDJKHZc3dhz6YOne of Us: https://open.spotify.com/show/4B8267MUWugSxnIcK01hL2Fin Argus on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/1oDUPFTxn5JyS8MxUe9ko4Premeditated Podcast is created and hosted by Neil Zumwalde and Graham Cameron. The show is produced and curated by Matt Hanchey. Special thanks to Myrriah Gossett.#funny #comedy #comedypodcast #oneofus
The district court of being your best self is in session, with a wellness journey that noone wants to get onto. The incomparable Ciara Robinson @ciaracrobinson deliberates Wellness Influencers with Graham and Neil in this no holds barred knockout of a performance, taking on the matcha yogis and tradwife vibeslingers. We also discuss the rise of queer youth in JNCO jorts, a new miracle cure for male pattern baldness, and whether Usain Bolt's shoe game would be better with running support, or if he could sprint on the wings of fashion alone.—People do things wrong, and the only way to fix it is to judge them by subscribing to our podcast. for access to OUR ENTIRE LIBRARY OF EPISODES plus heaps of delicious clips.In the meantime, pass some of your own judgements into the comments below. The First Amendment is fun, right? RIGHT?!?!FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE:https://www.instagram.com/premeditatedpod/https://www.tiktok.com/@premeditatedpodhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0R94ymhWOMibKQ53PLKjZXFOLLOW CIARA:https://www.instagram.com/ciaracrobinson/Premeditated Podcast is created and hosted by Neil Zumwalde and Graham Cameron. The show is produced and curated by Matt Hanchey. Special thanks to Myrriah Gossett.
Hey America, are you ready to HAM it up! Well shoot muh toots! We got a DEBENair guest that's ready to go HAM!
On this face-palming episode of Premeditated, Graham and Neil enlist their friend Lincoln to evaluate people who ghost the plans they made (couldn't be us). They also find time to pass verdicts on coyotes, state senators and alternative methods of public transit.
—
Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane micro-crimes or you just love watching stuff on YouTube, subscribe to our channel today [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqB5ES0IypOjHVug2m_5bPA] for access to OUR ENTIRE LIBRARY OF EPISODES plus heaps of delicious clips.
In the meantime, pass some of your own judgements into the comments below. The First Amendment’s fun, right?
FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE:
https://www.instagram.com/premeditatedpod/
https://www.tiktok.com/@premeditatedpod
https://open.spotify.com/show/0R94ymhWOMibKQ53PLKjZX
FOLLOW LINCOLN EVERYWHERE:
https://www.instagram.com/lincolnjackd/
Premeditated Podcast is created and hosted by Neil Zumwalde and Graham Cameron. The show is produced and curated by Matt Hanchey. Special thanks to Myrriah Gossett.
Ahoy Jurors! Avast! Land hoooooooo!On this episode, Charlie James foxtrots into the Law Offices of Premeditated with an absolute stunnah of a case: is a neighbor's nosey nose too nosey? The judges also find time to discuss Q-tips, dietary privileges and candle making as a small business. —Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane micro-crimes or you just love watching stuff on YouTube, subscribe to our channel today [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqB5ES0IypOjHVug2m_5bPA] for access to OUR ENTIRE LIBRARY OF EPISODES plus heaps of delicious clips.In the meantime, pass some of your own judgements into the comments below. The First Amendment’s fun, right?FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE:https://www.instagram.com/premeditatedpod/https://www.tiktok.com/@premeditatedpodhttps://open.spotify.com/show/0R94ymhWOMibKQ53PLKjZXFOLLOW CHARLIE EVERYWHERE:https://www.instagram.com/malecowgirl/Premeditated Podcast is created and hosted by Neil Zumwalde and Graham Cameron. The show is produced and curated by Matt Hanchey. Special thanks to Myrriah Gossett.
Hello America, it's been a hot summer and we've got the perfect podcast to quench your dry, dry mouths.On this episode, Jon Braylock (Astronomy Club, Comedy Bang Bang, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) enlists Graham and Neil to deliberate the fairness in judging thirst traps. They also find time to pass verdicts on which of their body parts they feel positive about, spreadable cheeses and Jon's pick-up basketball career.
—
Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane micro-crimes or you just love watching stuff on YouTube, subscribe to our channel today for access to OUR ENTIRE LIBRARY OF EPISODES plus heaps of delicious clips.
In the meantime, pass some of your own judgements into the comments below. The First Amendment’s fun, right?
FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE:
FOLLOW JON:
Premeditated Podcast is created and hosted by Neil Zumwalde and Graham Cameron. The show is produced and curated by Matt Hanchey. Special thanks to Myrriah Gossett.
Deception is the root of all HOT PODCASTS! Enter Marquis The Honey Bear, he puts the honey in honeypot.
On this episode, Graham, Neil and Marquis deliberate hinting or "soft launching" your future break-up on social media. They also find time to pass verdicts on the Book of Job, paloma cocktails and terms for the two diagonal hip creases that lead to a man's ---!
—
Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane micro-crimes or you just love watching stuff on YouTube, subscribe to our channel today! [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqB5ES0IypOjHVug2m_5bPA] for access to OUR ENTIRE LIBRARY OF EPISODES plus heaps of delicious clips.
In the meantime, pass some of your own judgements into the comments below. The First Amendment’s fun, right?
FOLLOW MARQUIS EVERYWHERE:
https://www.tiktok.com/@marquishoney
https://www.instagram.com/marquishoneybear/
Marquis and Eric Dream of… Another Gay Podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/show/5O2u20dCT8oLQNSRLv7Urh
FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE: https://www.instagram.com/premeditatedpod/
https://www.tiktok.com/@premeditatedpod
https://open.spotify.com/show/0R94ymhWOMibKQ53PLKjZX
Premeditated Podcast is created and hosted by Neil Zumwalde and Graham Cameron. The show is produced and curated by Matt Hanchey. Special thanks to Myrriah Gossett.
Hello Jurors, welcome to Season 2 of our courtroom. We’re back and ready to put the “us” in “U.S.”.On this episode, Graham and Neil deliberate the term California Sober, more specifically saying "California Sober" out loud with words. They also find time to pass verdicts on dairy tolerances, sudokus and proper ball throwing motion.—Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane micro-crimes or you just love watching stuff on YouTube, subscribe to our channel today [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqB5ES0IypOjHVug2m_5bPA] for access to OUR ENTIRE LIBRARY OF EPISODES plus heaps of delicious clips.In the meantime, pass some of your own judgements into the comments below. The First Amendment’s fun, right?FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE:https://www.instagram.com/premeditatedpod/https://www.tiktok.com/@premeditatedpodPremeditated Podcast is created and hosted by Neil Zumwalde and Graham Cameron. The show is produced and curated by Matt Hanchey. Special thanks to Myrriah Gossett.
Our phone lines are lighting up!
No sorry, we can't lie to you. It's our duty as judges to tell the truth....we don't have phone lines. We have a G-Mail digital phone message system. But that is lighting up with voicemails from YOU!
We continue PART 2 of our SEASON 1 FINALE by tackling your pressing social questions and quandaries. We've donned our wigs and ensconced ourselves in velvet (nope sorry, lied again. It's polyester) and are ready to give America what it wants. The TRUTH.
This week's callers regale us with etiquette and faux pas like: opening the wine bottle you brought to someone else's house, refusing to engage in group texts, singing along to the radio and saying "good morning" in the afternoon.
Tune in to hear our verdicts, and perhaps YOUR VOICE, on part 2 of our raucous Season 1 finale.
Hugs and kisses America. Thank you so much for listening to stuff we've spent a lot of time working on. Without you we're just two guys prattling away on a couch. We love you. Thank you.
Graham and Neil
Premeditated Podcast 030
BIG THANK YOUs to our callers:
Dominique from Austin, TX
Dylan from Miami, FL
Hilton from Los Angeles, CA
Ryan from Raleigh, NC
Ring-a-ling! Someone pick up the phone! Caller ID says: YOU
America has gripes. Social gripes. Etiquette is going unchecked left, right and center. Our beloved listeners from across the globe have cases they need solved. The law of offices of Premeditated are here to help.
Through guided litigation, we lead our listeners through the murky legal waters of: Venmo request etiquette, breaking up over grammar, naming conventions for candy sizes and disingenuous “how are you’s”.
Tune in to hear our verdicts, and perhaps YOUR VOICE, on our raucous Season 1 finale.
Hugs and kisses America,
Graham and Neil
Premeditated Podcast 029
Who run the Court? GIRLS!! Who gives pets as gifts? Hopefully only people who intimately know your schedule and capabilities!!
On this SPECIAL EPISODE of Premeditated our favorite improv group in town, Girls Night (Danielle Shvartsman, Jasmine Elist, Lizzie McGroder) drop by our law office to debate in the teenage-old question: should you give pets as gifts?
Are there be size limitations? Does the gift have to include the tank or cage or requisite apparatus? Is there a maximum limit on the gift pet’s lifespan?
It’s a wild and wacky episode that you WON’T want to miss. On an ALL NEW Premeditated.
Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde
Guests: Danielle Shvartsman(@stanleytushi)
Jasmine Elist (@jasmineelist)
Lizzie McGroder (@scootermcgroder)
Premeditated Episode 028
Human parents. The things that everyone, except Mork and Kyle XY, have. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re the reason we all exist. But we’re all (biological) adults now. And adults kiss. So…wait, are you saying? Should we be smooching our parents?
Cheek, lips or tongue, our dear friend and future White Sox manager Haley OC has a ruling for each part of the face. She lays a lip-smacking legal smackdown on modern parenthood.
How long of a kiss is too long? What age is too old for a cheek pinch? If you’re in Europe, is it permitted? Is Graham a bad son for only high-fiving? Answers to all that and more on this week’s Premeditated!
Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde
Guest: Haley OC (@haley_oc)
Look who’s still here! It’s Jenny Zigrino, the queen of the bicoastal breakup. This week, Los Angeles’ avoidant nature comes face to face with a New York attitude.
We all know that relationships don’t last, but how do you handle that awkward dismount?
Should you flick your boyfriend’s forehead, just slap the guy, or send a quick text? Should you even tell your partner that they aren’t the one, or let them figure it out on the internet? Are these questions pathologically unkind? Find out this week!
Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde
Guest: Jenny Zigrino (@jennyzigrino)
America, listen, parking lots are getting hectic y'all. You ever tried to "swing by" Trader Joe's on a Sunday morning? You ever backed into a fly-away shopping cart? And that's all before you have to wade through the ocean of clipboards guarding the door!
It's all too much handle, unless your name starts with an L and ends in an izzie McGroder. The legend herself (@scootermcgroder) swung by the Premeditated law offices to drop off her latest legislative measures on Solicitor Interactions.
Is it okay hug them? Should the whole process be automated? Does Graham know how old he is?
Answers to all that and more, on an ALL NEW Premeditated.
Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde
Guest: Lizzie McGroder (@scootermcgroder)
Ding Dong! No, it’s not the death of the Wicked Witch. It’s the arrival of the elevator at a non-schedule floor.
But, oh poop! Someone’s trying to get on!
Act Quick! Do you:
A) Hammer Door Close
B) Heroically throw your arm in between the Jaws of Death
C) Pretend to do a NYT mini crossword
D) Offer your fellow rider a Laffy Taffy
This week’s leather dossier was brought to our desk by the undisputed first chair cellist, Jasmine Elist (@jasmineelist), who graciously stepped away from the Vienna Philharmonic to lay some ground rules about elevator etiquette.
It’s a hot button topic, and the elevator buttons are hot too! This is a civil case you DON’T want to miss.
Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde
Guest: Jasmine Elist (@jasmineelist)
Insta: @premeditatedpod
A crisp autumn breeze on your face. Your hands warmed by a foil-covered casserole dish. Anticipation of spending quality time with friends fresh on your mind. The front door opens, you step into the foyer, a friendly Labrador wags their tale in greeting…but wait, would you mind removing your shoes?
Record scratch. The scene freezes. It’s time we get the lawyers involved.
Enter HALEY OC (@MILFWEEED). She’s got two thumbs, a pending insurance card and a J.D. in Social Law and Potluck Etiquette.
This week on an ALL NEW Premeditated, we discuss the appropriate occasions and conditions for taking your shoes off in someone else’s house.
Is there a bench at the entry?
Are guest slippers classy or pretentious?
Is owning 60+ pairs of socks too many socks?
Tune in for deliberation on all that and more!
Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde
Guest: Haley OC (@MILFWEEED)
insta: @premeditatedpod
Ooooh boy, we may have stepped in it on this one.
There are picketers outside the courthouse!
Our gavels are in hot water!
No need to schedule your manicurist this week, Judges Neil and Graham are here to settle all your nail care needs. We take an archeological trip through human history to search for one reason why witnessing fingernail trimming is gross.
Is our own mortality? Is nail the same stuff as hair?
It's just the boys and our keychain trimmers on an all NEW PREMEDITATED.
Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde
insta: @premeditatedpod
Oh gossip, that ancient pleasure.
A victimless crime... right?
Right.
This week we’re joined by Jenny Zigrino to dig into the social laws on hot, juicy gossip. Together, we can make America gossip again, and spill the proverbial tea into the Boston Harbor.
Is it only okay if it’s about someone your gossip partner knows? Can the courts institute men-in-black style gossip forgetting technology? Does Jenny have a power kink?
All of the questions that you didn't think would get asked are getting answered, this week on Premeditated.
Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde
Guest: Jenny Zigrino (@jennyzigrino)
insta: @premeditatedpod
What’s an excuse to party but not quite as special as your birthday party? That’s right. Someone else’s birthday party. And what’s more complicated than Italian physicist Gabriele Veneziano’s string theory? When your friend doesn’t want to do anything for their birthday but you think that deep down they may want you to actually do something but they don’t want to have to ask you to do something!!! Right again!
The good men at the law offices of Premeditated welcome back their all-time favorite barrister, DANIELLE SHVARTSMAN (@stanleytushi), to make a ruling on what we should do when our friends are giving indifference about their own birthdays.
Tune in for a festive TWENTIETH EPISODE of Premeditated.
Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde
Guest: Danielle Shvartsman(@stanleytushi)
insta: @premeditatedpod