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Personal Pans
Vanessa Walilko
45 episodes
16 hours ago
Conversations about belief, transformation, deconstruction, and late diagnosis ADHD. Let's talk about the strange and weird. We also love pizza.
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Religion & Spirituality
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All content for Personal Pans is the property of Vanessa Walilko and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Conversations about belief, transformation, deconstruction, and late diagnosis ADHD. Let's talk about the strange and weird. We also love pizza.
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Religion & Spirituality
Episodes (20/45)
Personal Pans
43. "Just a little bravery will open the door" with Lisa Pahl of The Death Deck

Lisa Pahl is a hospice and emergency medicine social worker the co-creator of The Death Deck. The Death Deck is a party game that lets you explore a topic we’re all obsessed with but often afraid to discuss. It features 112 cards with a mix of multiple choice and open-ended questions guaranteed to spark a discussion around the topic of death. Lisa and I talk about our experiences with death and the importance of having end of life conversations when you're healthy and able.


For information on The Death Deck (and The EOL Deck), visit https://thedeathdeck.com/

You can also follow them on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter


Keep up with Personal Pans:

⁠https://twitter.com/PersonalPans⁠

⁠https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans⁠


Hang out on my Mastodon instance: ⁠weirdo.network


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2 years ago
58 minutes 2 seconds

Personal Pans
42. The Medicine Wheel with Barry Goddard

Barry Goddard is an astrologer, shamanic practitioner, and all around Aquarius.  We talked about his book The Medicine Wheel, and how the four elements are ways of relating to the universe and realizing that we're intimately connected with the universe.  We talked about what it means to live true to your spirit, the Great Forgetting, astrology, and healing the soul wound.

Follow Barry online:

ShamanicFreeState.blogspot.com

AstroTableTalk.blogspot.com

Keep up with Personal Pans:

https://twitter.com/PersonalPans

https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans


Hang out on my Mastodon instance: weirdo.network

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2 years ago
1 hour 26 minutes 33 seconds

Personal Pans
41. "I'm done making excuses for everybody" - Disability, long COVID, and leaving the church with Steph Fowler

Steph Fowler is the founder of Inkwell Psychotherapy and a therapist for weirdos, misfits, neurodivergent folks, and cycle disruptors.  She's  also one of the best people I know.

If you've ever listened to my podcast before and heard me mention "my friend with long COVID," that's Steph.  She talks about what it's like to navigate the medical system with a new disability, how perceptions of health and thinness get wrapped up in our moral judgments of people, privilege and fatphobia, and the work needed to dismantle systems of oppression.

You can listen to part 1 of our conversation here: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/JuROnOogdwb

Follow Steph:

https://www.inkwellpsychotherapy.com


Find Personal Pans and a great community of folks at https://weirdo.network

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2 years ago
1 hour 33 minutes 19 seconds

Personal Pans
40. Haunted Offices and Therapy for Weirdos with Steph Fowler

Steph Fowler is the founder of Inkwell Psychotherapy and a therapist for weirdos, misfits, neurodivergent folks, and cycle disruptors.  She's also one of the best people I know.

Steph and I talked about what it was like to work in a haunted office building, and being a therapist for misfits.  Part of her Misfit Mental Health practice is a Nw Year Reflection workshop, which you can sign up for here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeTNDOoTjLy4HoZQlYzGb3ffFy3SQaq9ndDr7WqSzURJoo7zw/viewform

You can follow her at
https://www.inkwellpsychotherapy.com/


Find Personal Pans on Weirdo.Network, the new Mastodon Instance for all the kind weirdos out there.

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2 years ago
52 minutes 48 seconds

Personal Pans
39. UFOs, Ethics, and Protecting the Vulnerable with Erica Lukes

Erica Lukes is a historian, archivist, and researcher.  Erica Lukes also has an undying passion for the mysteries of the universe, particularly UFO reports and other strange aerial phenomena. Since childhood, she has been fascinated with imagery of how vehicles and beings from space might appear and she pursued this interest quietly but with determination.  She's the former MUFON State Director for MUFON and host of UFO Classified.

She's dedicated to ethical and open-access research with her new venture Expanding Frontiers Research.  She also calls out abuse and unethical practices in the UFO community.  We had an incredible conversation about calling out racist and sexist behavior and tropes in the UFO community, domestic violence, and what it means to protect vulnerable people.  

Follow Erica online:

https://www.youtube.com/@EricaLukes

https://www.expandingfrontiersresearch.org/


Personal Pans:

https://twitter.com/PersonalPans

https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans

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2 years ago
1 hour 10 minutes 43 seconds

Personal Pans
38. Clown Pants, Bowling Pin Aliens and Small UFOs with Rob Kristoffersen

Rob Kristoffersen is a UFO researcher and the host of Our Strange Skies, a UFO podcast that explores the nooks and crannies of UFO history and lore, diving deep into UFO sightings, alien abductions, cryptids, and all things paranormal.  On this episode, we talked about small UFOs, bowling pin aliens, Unsolved Mysteries, Ohio UFO car crashes, the cultural context of otherworldly visitations, and what we both thought was the wildest part of Love and Saucers.


Follow and support Rob online:

https://www.ourstrangeskies.com/

https://linktr.ee/yerufoguy


Follow Personal Pans:
https://twitter.com/personalpans
https://www.instagram.com/personalpans

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2 years ago
1 hour 23 minutes 27 seconds

Personal Pans
37: Somatic Therapy, Missionary Work, and Intergenerational Trauma with Jenny McGrath

Jenny McGrath is a licensed mental health counselor, a somatic therapist, and a movement educator.  She's also the creator of the Embodied Sexuality Course.  We had an incredible conversation about trauma therapy, deconstructing narratives about individualistic healing, and understanding healing as part of a community.  We also talked about her missionary work in Uganda, BoJack Horseman and inter-generational trauma, and what it means to tend to your own body and story.  

Find Jenny online:
https://www.indwellmovement.com/

https://www.instagram.com/indwell_movement/

Follow Personal Pans:

https://twitter.com/PersonalPans

https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans

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2 years ago
1 hour 38 seconds

Personal Pans
36. Baba Yaga, Storytelling, and The Goblin Circus with Halo Quin

Halo Quin is an author, a storyteller, and witch.  She's had a lifelong relationship with the spirit realm and has written multiple books about her craft.  She also runs the local storytelling circle, and an ADHD resource center, as well as The Enchanted Academy.  She's written several books, including Folktales, Faeries, and Spirits, All That Glitters, Gods and Goddesses of Wales, and Your Faery Magic.

We had an incredible conversation about living with ADHD, the power of storytelling, connecting with Baba Yaga, and of course, the Goblin Circus.


Find Halo online:

TheEnchantedAcademy.com

HaloQuin.net

https://www.instagram.com/haloquin/

https://www.facebook.com/HaloquinAuthor/



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3 years ago
1 hour 33 minutes 38 seconds

Personal Pans
35. Anime, alienated ancestor work, and what it means to be a good person with Dash Kwiatkowski

Dash Kwiatkowski is one of the co-hosts of Psychic Friendz, an advice show where non-psychics help Facebook users in need.  The also love mascots.  We talked about WitchsFest and their experience with talking to someone who had a near-death experience.  We talked about discovering anime and ancestor work when you feel like you have a metaphysical block.  We also talked about the lack of media literacy, propaganda in media, and how to be creative when fascists are claiming media as their own.  They described an incredible Estes session they experienced, the origin of their name, the power of breaking cycles, and what it means to be a good person.


Follow Dash online:
https://twitter.com/DashKwiatkowski/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dash.liminal

Follow Psychic Friendz:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/psychic-friendz/id1487724304
https://twitter.com/psychicfriendz

Be sure to check out Pan Paracon to see their live episode of Psychic Friendz!

Find Personal Pans online:
https://twitter.com/PersonalPans
https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans

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3 years ago
1 hour 11 minutes 54 seconds

Personal Pans
34. "If you want your magic to be effective, you need to be fully present in it" - Irene Glasse and Caine Dreamwalker of Blackfeather Mystery School

Today's guests are Irene Glasse and Caine Dreamwalker of Blackfeather Mystery School.  Their school is " focused on reducing self-sabotage while providing a solid grounding in magickal theory, dedicant practices, mysticism, spellcasting and ritual work, beginning  spiritwork, journeywork and much more."  Their book is a perfect foundational book for eclectic witches (like myself), who might have missed some basics while developing their personal practices.

This conversation was an absolute delight to return to after illness kept me in bed for three weeks.  We talked about shadow work, trauma work, and benefits of therapy.  We talked about the power of play and reconnecting with nature.  And we also talked about witchcraft as a way to claim your own agency and how to be a part of your own healing.


Follow Blackfeather Mystery School:

https://blackfeathermystery.com/

https://glassewitchcottage.com/

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3 years ago
1 hour 13 minutes 54 seconds

Personal Pans
33. "You're villainized for questioning anything that's taught" The Pentecostal to Witch Pipeline with Hana of Suburban Witchery

Hana the Suburban Witch is a psychic, professional tarot reader, natal astrologer and eclectic witch based in Australia. The focus of Hana's work is to make witchcraft and spirituality fun, and after our conversation, I can see why.  She grew up with a lot of fear and trauma in the Pentecostal church, and she now runs a course on Psychic Divination, hosts her own podcast called ‘Witch Talks’ and has a YouTube channel with videos on spellcrafting, tarot, and her journey to becoming a proud witch.

We talked about the social aspects of shame, what it's like to distrust your instincts, and how her mom left the church and became a style guru on Instagram.

You can find Hana at Suburban Witchery: https://www.suburbanwitchery.com/

You can follow Hana's mom's Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/stylegurujayne


Follow Personal Pans:

https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans

https://twitter.com/PersonalPans

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3 years ago
1 hour 3 minutes 14 seconds

Personal Pans
Bonus - Growing up in a haunted house with Logan Dean

Logan Dean is the tabletop RPG designer behind The Company, and the ENnie-nominated EXTRACTION FROM DEMON-FUCKED CLEVELAND 1996.  This is just an excerpt from our conversation back in January, where Logan talks about his experiences growing up in a haunted house.

Voting for the ENnie's goes until midnight PST on July 24, 2022.  Be sure to vote for Logan's game in the Best Adventure and Best Free Game/Product categories!


Download Logan's game:

https://mega-corp.itch.io/efdfc1996

Vote for Logan in the Ennies:

https://vote.ennie-awards.com/vote/2022/


Follow Logan on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/L__Dean

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3 years ago
17 minutes 44 seconds

Personal Pans
32. "It starts and ends with standards of evidence" - Cadillacs and UFOs with Jack Brewer

Jack Brewer is a UFO blogger and researcher and the author of two books, The Greys Have Been Framed and Wayward Sons.  Jack sat down with me to talk about the emotional draw of UFOs as well as the danger of chasing down facts about a slippery phenomenon.  We discussed what drives people to believe above all else, the failures of memory, and the trouble with the ongoing involvement of the intelligence community in UFO circles.  We also talked about scientific protocols, and what we should expect from people who claim they're doing scientific work.


You can find Jack's work here:

The UFO Trail - http://ufotrail.blogspot.com/

Follow Jack on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheUFOTrail

Buy his books on Amazon: https://t.co/GLYwdaPkEq

Follow Personal Pans:

https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans

https://www.twitter.com/PersonalPans

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3 years ago
1 hour 2 minutes 47 seconds

Personal Pans
31.5 - Grief, trauma, guilt, and hope with Holly Laurent

Holly Laurent is a writer, filmmaker, comedian, performer, and the host of Mega, a completely improvised podcast satirizing the world of a  fictional mega church.  She is also one of my favorite people.  This is part 2 of our near 2-hour conversation where we talk about setting boundaries, recovering from being raised a people-pleaser, Terrence McKenna, whether the world is hell or not, and about how grief changes the fabric of a person's life.  


Support Holly online:

https://www.hollylaurent.com/

https://www.megathepodcast.com/

https://vimeo.com/495321330


Follow Personal Pans:

https://twitter.com/PersonalPans

https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans

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3 years ago
53 minutes 50 seconds

Personal Pans
31. "When we talk about the god of the bible, are we really talking about ourselves?" The nature of consciousness and belief with Holly Laurent

Holly Laurent is a writer, filmmaker, comedian, performer, and the host of Mega, a completely improvised podcast satirizing the world of a fictional mega church.  She is also my friend.  Holly and I talked about growing up Evangelical, dealing with hateful trolls online, curses, and the knowledge of scripture as a guiding force.  We also talked about imitation, the nature of consciousness and how we can reprogram ourselves as well as the nature of the divine and what we're really talking about when we talk about god.  This was a deeply thoughtful, vulnerable conversation, and this is just part one!  The second part will be released tomorrow.


Support Holly online:
https://www.hollylaurent.com/

https://www.megathepodcast.com/

https://vimeo.com/495321330


Follow Personal Pans:

https://twitter.com/PersonalPans

https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans

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3 years ago
1 hour 5 minutes 6 seconds

Personal Pans
30 - "It's the end of the world, but we still have to pay our credit cards" - Consciousness, technology, and the absurd, mundane apocalypse with Red Pill Junkie

Red Pill Junkie (Miguel Romero) is a Fortean blogger and artist.  He's a writer for The Daily Grail and the visual artist behind the Ufology Tarot.  I initially reached out to him to talk about the Ufology tarot, but we ended up talking about so much more.  From the adaptability of the human condition and the absurdity of doing mundane things during the apocalypse, from the benefits of being an outsider to the nature of UFO experiences, from psychic surgery to Mass Effect to the gnostic battle against corporate archons, I had an incredible time talking with RPJ about all of his ideas about the universe.

Follow Red Pill Junkie:

https://twitter.com/red_pill_junkie

https://dailygrail.com

https://absurdbydesign.com


Follow Personal Pans:

https://twitter.com/PersonalPans
https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans


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3 years ago
1 hour 23 minutes 51 seconds

Personal Pans
29. "It's really important to validate people's stories and experiences" - The Importance of Empathy and Storytelling in the Phenomena with Amelia Cotter

Amelia Cotter is a writer, poet, and storyteller.  She's written multiple books about the paranormal such as Where the Party Never Ended: Ghosts of the Old Baraboo Inn, This House: The True Story of a Girl and a Ghost, Maryland Ghosts: Paranormal Encounters in the Free State, and the children’s book Breakfast with Bigfoot.  She also writes poetry about trauma and healing and is a contributor to The Feminine Macabre, which is how we met.

I initially asked Amelia on the show to talk about her writing and about ghosts, but this turned into a much deeper and broader conversation.  We talked about the shifting landscape of the paranormal community, the importance of empathy and listening when speaking with experiencers, the dangers of conspiracy thinking, and why it's important to be careful of judging people based off of what we see on social media and on television.  This was a wonderful conversation and I hope you enjoy it.

Follow Amelia online:

https://www.ameliacotter.com

https://twitter.com/ameliamcotter

https://www.instagram.com/ameliamcotter/

https://www.facebook.com/authorameliamcotter


Follow The Feminine Macabre:

https://www.instagram.com/the.feminine.macabre/


Follow Personal Pans:

https://twitter.com/PersonalPans

https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans


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3 years ago
1 hour 4 minutes 32 seconds

Personal Pans
28. "The way we understand our origins effects how we see ourselves politically" - A Primer on White Supremacy and Fascism in Paraweird Spaces with Professor WHAM

Tonight's guest is Dr CS Matthews (a.k.a Professor WHAM). She recently wrote a book about paranormal reports in the Hudson Valley called Mysterious Beauty: Living with the Paranormal in the Hudson Valley. She's studied religion, new religious movements, occultism and paranormal experiences for over 4 decades, and her dissertation was on ethnic and racial tropes in UFO abductions in the US. She's also been teaching in a college setting for 35 years.

I asked her on the show after watching her speak on The Magickal Solution about fascism in the occult. For this episode, she gave an overview of fascism and white supremacist ideas in paraweird spaces, and shows the fact that the roots of it go back very far. She described the ways in which racist ideas have been woven into spiritual movements for centuries and make their way into UFO reports today. She talked about the dangers of accelerationist ideologies. We ended the conversation talking about the history of Iroquois women and what it takes to make real social change in a society. Get ready to take some notes for this episode.


More information on fascism in the occult:

A Discussion / How White Supremacy is Hijacking Paganism

In Plain Sight: NAZI Occultism in America


Follow Professor WHAM:

https://www.professorwham.com/


Follow Personal Pans:

https://www.twitter.com/PersonalPans

https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans


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3 years ago
1 hour 16 minutes 56 seconds

Personal Pans
27. "Thinking through your internal biases and your own unconscious biases--that's inner alchemy" - Diversity, Innovation, and the Real Great Work with Melaninated Magician

Tonight's episode features Melaninated Magician, a writer and occultist with lots of spicy things to say about diversity and inclusion in paranormal and occult spaces.  I don't think I've ever laughed so hard talking about such difficult issues.  We talked about structural oppression and the inner alchemy of interrogating your own biases.  We also discussed the ways in which we're limited by only talking to the same types of people about paranormal experiences.  They talked to me about Thelema as religion, philosophy, and magickal technology, and how if every person is a star, we need to work to make sure marginalized people can feel safe in occult spaces.

We talked about the dangers of thinking that we have everything figured out when it comes to occult beliefs and practices and how diversity leads to innovation in occult ideas.  We also had some spicy takes about paranormal television.


Follow Melaninated Magician:

https://melaninatedmagician.wordpress.com/

https://twitter.com/MelaninatedMag2

Buy cool art:

https://wildhornsberry.godaddysites.com/


Follow Personal Pans:

https://twitter.com/PersonalPans

https://www.instagram.com/PersonalPans

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3 years ago
1 hour 12 minutes 13 seconds

Personal Pans
26. "Lazy is not a four-letter word... I mean, it literally is, but it's not a swear word" - ADHD, Grief, and Tarot with Erica Davis

This ADHD-inspired conversation features Erica Davis, writer, editor, and intuitive tarot reader behind Dork Witch.  We talked about channeling creative ideas and feeling like we're giving form to things that already exist, whether characters or creative pieces.  We also talked about working with ADHD in daily life.  We also talked about how intense grief changes a person, inspiring pure honey badger energy.  We also talked about tarot and reading for other people. 


Book a tarot reading with Erica:
https://www.dorkwitch.xyz/

Follow Erica on Twitter:

https://twitter.com/thedavisgirl


Keep up with Personal Pans:

https://twitter.com/PersonalPans

https://instagram.com/PersonalPans

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3 years ago
1 hour 7 minutes 19 seconds

Personal Pans
Conversations about belief, transformation, deconstruction, and late diagnosis ADHD. Let's talk about the strange and weird. We also love pizza.