On Attachment

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On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg

202 episodes

3 days ago

We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be. While attachment theory was originally developed to explain the infant-caregiver bond and later applied to romantic relationships, many of the same fears, patterns, and protective strategies show up in our platonic relationships too — especially when they carr...

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Society & Culture,

Self-Improvement

All content for On Attachment is the property of Stephanie Rigg and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be. While attachment theory was originally developed to explain the infant-caregiver bond and later applied to romantic relationships, many of the same fears, patterns, and protective strategies show up in our platonic relationships too — especially when they carr...

Show more...

Society & Culture,

Self-Improvement

Episodes (20/202)

On Attachment

#202: How Attachment Styles Influence Friendship Dynamics

We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be. While attachment theory was originally developed to explain the infant-caregiver bond and later applied to romantic relationships, many of the same fears, patterns, and protective strategies show up in our platonic relationships too — especially when they carr...

2 days ago

21 minutes

On Attachment

#201: How to Actually Heal from a Breakup

If you’re someone with anxious attachment patterns, the ending of a relationship can bring up some of your deepest wounds: feelings of abandonment, not being enough, being too much, or fears that you’ll never find love again. In today’s episode, I’m offering a more grounded, intentional path through heartbreak — one that doesn’t rely on ruminating, obsessing, or waiting for closure from someone else. We’re talking about how to actually heal from a breakup, rather than just surviving it. I’ll ...

1 week ago

22 minutes

On Attachment

#200: How to Like Yourself More

So many of us struggle with the idea of self-love. For me, and for many others, it can feel vague, aspirational, or simply out of reach. But what if, instead of trying to love ourselves, we focused on becoming someone we actually like? In today’s episode, I’m sharing five practical and tangible ways to do just that. This is about taking honest, grounded steps that help you build real self-respect, pride, and internal alignment. Whether you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, stuck in self-...

2 weeks ago

23 minutes

On Attachment

#199: How Our Early Imprints Shape Our Lives & Relationships with Lael Stone

In this episode, I’m joined by educator, speaker, and author Lael Stone to explore the powerful role that early imprints play in shaping the stories we carry — about ourselves, others, and the world around us. We dive into how our earliest experiences — especially within our family system — inform the narratives we unconsciously live by. We talk about what it means to bring those stories into conscious awareness, and how to begin rewriting the ones that no longer serve us. Whether you’re deep...

3 weeks ago

53 minutes

On Attachment

#198: What Anxiously Attached People Need to Thrive in a Relationship

When you have an anxious attachment style, it can be hard to know what you actually need to feel secure — especially if past relationships have left you second-guessing yourself or trying to manage your anxiety by suppressing your needs. In this episode, we’re exploring five key ingredients that help anxiously attached people thrive in relationships. These aren’t about seeking constant reassurance or outsourcing your self-worth — they’re about being in relational environments that support sec...

1 month ago

21 minutes

On Attachment

#197: What Avoidant People Need to Thrive in a Relationship

In today’s episode, we’re exploring what avoidant attached people actually need to feel safe and secure in a relationship — and how partners can support that without self-abandoning. Avoidant attachment is often misunderstood — labelled as cold, distant, or commitment-phobic. But when we look beneath those surface-level behaviours, what we often find is a deep need for space, safety, and self-reliance. We’ll cover: Why space needs to be respected, not punishedThe importance of having a partne...

1 month ago

21 minutes

On Attachment

#196: How & Why We Self-Abandon in Relationships

If you deeply fear abandonment, there’s a good chance you’ve also been abandoning yourself in quiet, subtle, and painful ways. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how fear of abandonment often leads to patterns of self-abandonment — especially for those with anxious attachment. We’ll look at why this happens, how it shows up in your relationships, and what it actually costs you when you disconnect from your truth just to stay connected to someone else. You’ll learn: Why self-abandonment is of...

1 month ago

19 minutes

On Attachment

#195: Two Simple Principles for a Healthy Nervous System

In today’s episode, I’m sharing two key principles for building a truly resilient, balanced nervous system — and why one without the other tends to keep us stuck. We’ll explore: Why nervous system health isn’t about being relaxed all the timeThe importance of deliberate stress exposure to build capacity and resilienceThe equally vital need to resource and nourish ourselves through rest, pleasure, and co-regulationHow to work with the natural ebb and flow of activation and recoveryA simple met...

1 month ago

11 minutes

On Attachment

#194: When You Don’t Feel Like a Priority in Your Relationship

If you often feel like you're fighting for a place in your partner’s life—like you’re always waiting to be chosen or noticed—this episode is for you. This is one of the most common experiences for people with anxious attachment: that persistent, painful feeling of being sidelined. Of giving so much, while wondering if you even matter to the person you love. And when that becomes a pattern, it can quietly erode your sense of self-worth. In this episode, I’m unpacking: Why anxiously attached pe...

1 month ago

18 minutes

On Attachment

#193: The Gifts of Anxious Attachment

While it’s easy to focus on the struggles of anxious attachment — overthinking, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment — there are also real gifts that often go hand-in-hand with these attachment patterns. When held with awareness and intention, many of the traits we associate with anxious attachment can become powerful strengths in our relationships and our lives. I’ll be exploring: Why it’s important to move beyond pathologising anxious attachmentThe qualities that often develop through lived...

2 months ago

12 minutes

On Attachment

#192: Boundaries vs. Ultimatums

In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the subtle (but important) differences between requests, boundaries, ultimatums, and dealbreakers. While these words are often used interchangeably, they carry different energies — and understanding those differences can help you communicate more clearly, hold your ground with integrity, and honour your needs without falling into patterns of control, people-pleasing, or collapse. We’ll explore: Why the energy behind your words matters more than the words th...

2 months ago

20 minutes

On Attachment

#191: Pleasure, Rest, & Feeling Good in a Culture of Chronic Stress

In this episode, we're exploring why so many of us struggle to access pleasure, rest, and a felt sense of wellbeing — especially in a culture that glorifies productivity, self-sacrifice, and chronic stress. If you've ever felt like slowing down or doing something just because it feels good triggers guilt, anxiety, or even restlessness… you're not alone. We'll look at: How chronic stress and hypervigilance disrupt our ability to feel goodWhy pleasure and rest often feel unsafe or unearnedThe r...

2 months ago

21 minutes

On Attachment

#190: How to Stop the Anxious Spiral

If you find yourself spiralling into anxiety — overanalysing a text, catastrophising worst-case scenarios, or feeling like your nervous system is in overdrive — this episode is for you. Today we’re talking about how to stop the anxious spiral before it takes over. I’ll walk you through what actually happens in your body and mind during a spiral, why it makes so much sense if you struggle with anxious attachment, and what you can do to interrupt that cycle in the moment. I’ll also share some l...

2 months ago

20 minutes

On Attachment

#189: Why Anxiously Attached People Struggle with Jealousy

Jealousy is one of the most common—and most shamed—experiences for people with anxious attachment. In this episode, we’re exploring where jealousy really comes from, how it manifests in relationships, and why it makes so much sense through the lens of self-worth and attachment wounding. I share personal reflections from my own journey with jealousy, alongside insights to help you understand your patterns with more compassion and clarity. Whether you obsessively compare yourself to others, fee...

2 months ago

20 minutes

On Attachment

#188: When Your Relationship Feels Stuck (& What to Do About It)

Feeling stuck in your relationship? Like things are off, disconnected, or just… heavy? You're not alone. Relationship ruts are common — and they're often more about what's bleeding into the relationship (stress, burnout, life overload) than about the relationship itself. For those in anxious-avoidant dynamics, these ruts can feel especially charged. The anxious partner often wants to fix it, while the avoidant may feel overwhelmed or pressured — leading to even more distance. In this episode,...

3 months ago

20 minutes

On Attachment

#187: Is It Better to Heal While Single or in a Relationship?

Whether you’re single or partnered, you might find yourself wondering: Am I in the right place to do this work? There’s often an unspoken belief that there’s a “best” time to heal — and that if we’re not doing it in the ideal conditions, we’re doing it wrong. In this episode, I’ll explore: The advantages and limitations of healing while singleWhy being in a relationship can accelerate your growth (but only under the right conditions)How emotional safety plays a key role in healingWhy the ques...

3 months ago

24 minutes

On Attachment

#186: When Life Hasn't Gone to Plan

We all have visions for how we thought life would unfold — timelines we hoped to follow, milestones we expected to reach. So what happens when life doesn't go to plan? In today’s episode, I’m speaking to those moments of disappointment, grief, and disorientation that come when our reality looks nothing like we’d imagined. Whether it’s relationships, career, family, or a more intangible sense of where you “should” be by now — it’s easy to spiral into self-blame, shame, or despair when life vee...

3 months ago

21 minutes

On Attachment

#185: How Caretaking Impacts Our Relationships

REGISTER FOR MY NEW FREE TRAINING Many of us are taught that taking care of the people we love is the ultimate expression of devotion. But when caring crosses the line into caretaking, it can quietly create deep imbalances in our relationships. Caretaking often stems from anxiety, a need for control, or an old belief that love must be earned through over-functioning — anticipating needs, smoothing over discomfort, managing someone else's feelings or life for them. While it can look like love ...

3 months ago

21 minutes

On Attachment

#184: Understanding the Power Struggle Stage of Relationships

Most relationships move through a phase where things start to feel harder than they used to. The spark has dimmed, tension is bubbling beneath the surface, and it feels like you’re constantly clashing or misfiring. This is what’s often called the power struggle stage — and while it can be incredibly challenging, it’s also a powerful opportunity for growth and deeper intimacy. In today’s episode, we’re talking about: What the power struggle stage is and why it happensHow insecure attachment pa...

4 months ago

26 minutes

On Attachment

#183: How to Be a Better Partner

When we think about improving our relationships, we’re often focused on what isn’t working — what our partner could do differently, how we’re not getting our needs met, where communication is breaking down. But in this episode, I want to invite a slightly different lens: what does it mean to be a better partner? Not from a place of self-sacrifice or perfectionism, but from a grounded, secure place. One that’s rooted in love, compassion, curiosity, and a willingness to show up with care. In th...

4 months ago

22 minutes

On Attachment

We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be. While attachment theory was originally developed to explain the infant-caregiver bond and later applied to romantic relationships, many of the same fears, patterns, and protective strategies show up in our platonic relationships too — especially when they carr...