This episode of "Off the Wire" features host Matt Wireman in conversation with executive coach and leader Ray Sanders. The discussion centers on the power of influence, the role of coaching and mentorship, and the journey of personal and professional growth.
Ray shares his story, referencing his book "The Boy in the Yellow House," and emphasizes, “We all are coaches… we are leading in some way.” He recounts how mentors and community shaped his life, highlighting the “power of personal influence” and the importance of “being a leader worth duplicating.”
The conversation explores the difference between coaching and mentorship, with Ray recalling, “Michael Cat was my first real mentor… he taught me how to read my Bible, how to pray, how to share my faith, how to serve, and how to live in biblical community.” The theme of honest, open, and transparent (HOT) relationships recurs, as Ray notes, “You gotta get hot with your coach—honest, open, and transparent.”
Matt and Ray discuss the dangers of isolation, idleness, and unhealthy substitutes, with Ray warning, “The enemy wants to disconnect us… isolation, idleness, and adultery.” They stress the value of boundaries, not walls: “Good fences make for great neighbors.”
Ray distinguishes his coaching by focusing on real-life experience: “A hammer doesn’t make a carpenter… I’m not just book learned, I’ve lived it.” He shares practical tools like “Do, Dump, Delegate, Delay,” urging leaders to ask, “Is this the highest and best use of my time?”
The episode delves into the role of self-awareness, with Ray stating, “The biggest personal hurdle I see most leaders have is self-awareness… you gotta lead yourself in order to lead others.” Emotional intelligence and empathy are highlighted, as Ray candidly admits, “You have zero empathy,” recounting a lesson from his wife, and reflecting, “Hurt people, hurt people… people who are full of pain can’t find empathy.”
Matt summarizes the process of change: “Assume the best about others, recognize your own gaps, be receptive, and step toward growth.” Ray adds, “We have to get comfortable being uncomfortable,” and reminds listeners, “Be a lifelong learner… you can learn something from anybody and everybody.”
The episode closes with encouragement to love God, love others, and love yourself, as Ray says, “The reason I can love myself is because God first loved me… I want to be a leader worth following.”
Key Set Verbiage:
“We all are coaches.”
“Power of personal influence.”
“Get hot with your coach—honest, open, and transparent.”
“Good fences make for great neighbors.”
“A hammer doesn’t make a carpenter.”
“Is this the highest and best use of my time?”
“If it ain’t eight, it ain’t great.”
“You gotta lead yourself in order to lead others.”
“Hurt people, hurt people.”
“Be a lifelong learner.”
“The reason I can love myself is because God first loved me.”
“Are you a leader worth duplicating?”
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