Resilience isn't built by staying calm.
Resilience also doesn't happen by following a script or filling out a worksheet.
It's built through rupture, repair, and range.
It's about in-the-moment-flexibility, adaptation, and widening our repertoire of strategies and scenarios of what we can handle.
 
I love leading research teams on enhancing human performance and resilience.  It helps us get clear about what we actually mean by those words... What do we want humans to 'perform'?  What does resilience mean?
One of the biggest factors that comes out of research is that flexibility - and the ability to engage a wide range and repertoire of strategies - is key to resilience.
 

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As Allen Schore states in Affect Dysregulation and Disorders of the Self: 
 
“Dysfunction of psychobiological regulatory systems is most obvious under stressful and challenging conditions that call for behavioral flexibility and affect regulation  [...] what is not adaptive is a lack of variability in the individual faced with environmental demands that call for alternative choices and strategies for change”.
 
This episode dives into Human Systems Resilience—how our interconnected brain-body-environment networks help us navigate stress, recover from rupture, and build adaptive flexibility.








Discover how micro-growth, self-transcendent purpose, and intelligent boundaries are essential for optimizing energy and sustaining long-term well-being, both individually and collectively.

* 00:02 – What does resilience truly mean in systems thinking?
* 04:48 – Can chronic stress disrupt our nervous system’s baseline?
* 06:43 – The hidden cost of overreacting to perceived threats
* 08:08 – Are you falling for "golden ticket" thinking?
* 09:48 – Why do resilient systems rely on rupture and repair?
* 11:51 – How do relationships foster neural flexibility?
* 14:00 – The science behind effective recovery after conflict
* 15:59 – What does it mean to have a "mission-capable" system?
* 18:58 – How does pathway thinking boost self-agency?
* 22:28 – The overlooked assets that protect your brain-body system

 
Curious how these concepts can help you optimize your own 'neural resilience', energy, and self-agency? Listen to the full episode to explore embodied knowledge, systems resilience, and actionable research for your daily life.
 
Stop chasing control. Stop chasing certainty. Start building flexibility and range.
—Stefanie
Human Systems Intelligence & Resilience
Brain-Body Mapping + Consultant for enhanced performance
 
 
P.S. Share this episode or explore more at Mindset Neuroscience Podcast. This content is for educational purposes and not a substitute for medical advice.
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How does revenge play a role in our world?
Neuroscience research shows that its neurological basis plays a deeper, darker role than we might have imagined...
 
“Behavioral studies from around the world confirm that people who hurt (or kill) other people are almost always acting in response to a personal grievance—a real or imagined perception of having been wronged, betrayed, shamed, humiliated, or victimized.”
- Dr. James Kimmel
 

 
These studies reveal that revenge seeking is a primary root cause for a long list of human violence and intentionally inflicted suffering. And this can range from bullying and youth violence to intimate partner violence, gang warfare, torture, terrorism, and violent extremism
 
But… revenge is not always a very obvious form of violence.  
As Dr. Kimmel explains, it can also happen in social and personal interactions where we might be more subtle about it. It can look like sabotage in workplaces or relationships. It can also look like unkind words, insults, or withdrawing social connection or affection to punish someone. It's also something that emerges at a very young age. We see behaviors related to revenge and retaliation as early as toddlerhood and continuing throughout life
 

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Desire for Revenge is neurological - not always pathological
What Dr. Kimmel's work really highlights the neurological basis of revenge. First, the idea of revenge and the concept of revenge is not necessarily pathological. We all experience feelings of injustice and having a grievance and wanting to retaliate. It becomes disruptive and dysregulating and maybe even debilitating when it takes more of the form of an addiction. 
This is a major aspect of Dr. Kimmel's work: the addictive element of revenge, including revenge-rumination. 
 
“Recent behavioral and neuroscience studies of what’s happening inside the brains of people with grievances have led to a chilling discovery: activation of revenge desires and the pleasure and craving neurocircuitry of addiction.​”
-Dr. James Kimmel
 
A pain-pleasure cycle is at the heart of most addictions - including revenge
at its core, the drive for revenge comes from a perceived grievance or injustice. And this can trigger a very primal response in our brains. Experiencing:

a grievance 
perceived mistreatment or injustice
humiliation
rejection 

These events (including perceived events) can activate the brain's pain network and primarily the anterior insula
 
The brain then seeks to restore balance. 
And a powerful evolutionary adaptation leads us to derive pleasure from just imagining ourselves inflicting pain back upon the perceived wrongdoer, or even the people or things or animals associated with them.
 
This kind of pain and pleasure circuitry mirrors the brain's response to addictive substances.
But, as mentioned earlier, revenge is not in itself pathological. And it doesn't necessarily become an addiction.
Just like with all addictions, it can be disruptive if a person is unable to resist ruminating and simulating revenge scenarios, potentially acting them out, or if this constant pain, pleasure, kind of circuitry activation is interfering with healthy functioning and moving on and doing other things that are productive for their life.
 
How do we break the revenge cycle?
A key to breaking this cycle, as is the case with many different mental heal...

What if the most powerful leaders are not those who control others, but those who have mastered the art of self-regulation?
Not only leaders who can regulate themselves, but those who regulate the nervous systems of those around them.  By doing this, they help others increase their chances of accessing brain states that lead to innovation, well-being, creative problem-solving and resilience.
This is not about suppressing emotions or always staying calm—it’s about cultivating a repertoire of states and intentionally shifting into the one that best serves the moment, the mission, and the people around us.

 






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The Science Behind Super-Regulation
Recent research into self-directed neuroplasticity shows that our brains are not fixed by our past. Instead, we can actively rewire patterns—especially those related to stress, reactivity, and self-doubt—through intentional practices that blend awareness and brain-optimizing actions.
This is the foundation of what I call Super-Regulation—a set of skills that enable us to not only manage our own states, but to help others do the same.
 

 
Self-regulation skills are not those we are born with—they develop over time, shaped by our early relationships and experiences. Many of us did not receive the ideal conditions for learning adaptive regulation, but the brain’s capacity for change means it’s never too late to build these skills.




 
As leaders, coaches, and professionals, our own nervous system becomes a model for those we serve. 
When we embody self-regulation, we create vibrations that are detected by other nervous systems.  These frequencies of psychological safety, resilience, and possibility can then become more accessible for others.
 






 
Becoming a Self-Regulating Leader
What does it mean to be a Super-Regulator? It starts with three core capacities:

* Self-Regulation: Using mind and body to access a sense of inner well-being and agency, even in challenging situations.
* Co-Regulation: Harnessing relationships to foster growth, safety, and evolution—for ourselves and others.
* Super-Regulation: Guiding others to develop their own self- and co-regulation skills, amplifying collective intelligence and resilience.

Leaders who practice these skills are not just more effective—they are more trusted, adaptable, and inspiring. They pause before reacting, shift from anxiety to curiosity, and stay present with discomfort long enough to learn from it. They model calm and clarity, even when chaos swirls around them.
 
 

Our past experiences are not simply stored in the brain—they are patterns embedded into the circuitry of our brain-body system.
 

 
For many people, their history can linger as patterns of dysregulation, stress, or a sense of being "stuck" in old reactions.
But -as you've likely heard by now... neuroscience is showing us that the brain is not completely fixed by our past.  It can be actively shaped by what we do in the present.
This is the promise of neuroplasticity. It's our capacity to rewire patterns, even those that we have adopted or been exposed to through our past experiences and our history.
 

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The Science of Neuroplasticity: How Our Brains Change
Decades of research show that our neural networks are dynamic and responsive to experience (watch my TEDx talk on experience-dependent brains 🙂
It's not necessarily an event or situation in and of itself* that determines the effects it will have on someone's brain and nervous system. It is an intertwined process of events interacting with existing neural, behavioral and social resources that a person has access to when events happen.
(*watch this video to learn more about Stimulus-Organism Responsel
Negative past events come in many forms, such as consistent exposure to chronic stress, high risk caregiving, neglect or abuse, tragedy and different events that happen in communities and in families, interpersonal violation of boundaries.
 
Our history with other humans can lead certain types of neural circuits to dominate our experience.
Sometimes, traumatic or adverse experiences within our lives can lead circuits related to fear, vigilance and self-protection, to become very hyperactive and dominant. 
And this can make it harder for some people to access states of calm and regulation and connection.
 
 
Old patterns do not have to become our destiny. 
Through intentional experiences, new connections can be forged, and old ones softened.
Research into self-directed neuroplasticity shows that when we engage in practices that combine mindful awareness, movement, and social connection and social support-seeking, we can activate our neural circuits in ways that can help us transcend our past (Fuchs 2024; Schwartz, 2005, Davidson, 2008)).
 

 
It’s not enough to simply "think differently."
Real change requires MOVEMENT and engaging the body and the senses.
This is why embodied approaches—movement, breathwork, and sensory awareness—can be effective at helping us access new states of being. In my work with coaches, leaders, and professionals, I emphasize that the nervous system must experience safety and novelty to unlock new pathways.
 
Here are a few science-backed strategies that support neuroplasticity for improved wellbeing and functioning:

* Micro-movements and sensory rituals: Gentle, deliberate actions (like slowing your breath, slowing down our hand movements, noticing the sensation of your hands,

Memory is not just in the brain.
Many of you have heard of the book, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk. The main idea of the book is that memory is not just something contained in the brain, but that the actual cells and tissues of our body store our past experiences. 
This  body-stored memory can often affect our current life in ways that we may not necessarily understand or be conscious of. Niko's work is bringing a new understanding and validation to this idea on a cellular and molecular level. 
“Learning and memory are generally associated with brains and brain cells alone, but our study shows that other cells in the body can learn and form memories, too." (Kukushkin, 2024) 
 


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What does the existence of such cellular memories mean for everyday life?
This is still a new frontier, but it does bring a lot of validation to the idea from books like the Body Keeps the Score that what we experience, such as trauma -  could be indeed stored as memory that is spread out throughout the body and outside of the brain.  Research shows that non-brain cells have memory, and this memory could potentially store such changes.
For example, cells in the pancreas respond to sugar in the blood by releasing the hormone insulin, which causes sugar to be absorbed. If you expose those cells to a large amount of sugar at once, then wait twenty minutes and do it again, the second time they will release twice as much insulin as the first time (O-Connor, 1980) . 
As Nikkolay asserts, this makes biological sense: it is the body’s way of predicting that more sugar is on its way, and it needs to prepare for this by increasing its sugar-absorbing ability - even before the sugar arrives (Kukushkin, 2025a). 
Another example is that bones become stronger the more they are repeatedly bent.  They detect and then predict mechanical load, and then respond to this pattern by increasing bone formation (Turner 1994). 


This pattern detection from your cells means that things we do leave an imprint on the body (whether we realize it or not). 
The gap between your lunch and your dinner. The number of days you did exercise this week. The frequency with which you expose your mind to social media.  Our brain-body detects patterns. What we expose ourselves to is a data point for the cells of our brain and body to potentially store and then even respond with a prediction (Kukushkin, 2025a).
 

Memory is not limitless, however.  Unlike computers, we can't just 'add more storage'.
Once our memory capacities fill up, the only way to create more is to wait (and sleep).
As Nikolay states in a Pyschology Today article (2025b):
“We need to recognize that brains do not have an infinite capacity—that, in fact, it is very easy to run low on storage. That does not abruptly cut off our ability to learn, but it does gradually degrade the quality and strength of memories we are able to form.
You have likely experienced that ‘feeling’ or knowing that after a class, or learning something new, you might find it harder to memorize anything new immediately after.  After immersing yourself in social media or information, you might also find that your brain is not up to learning or remembering new information as sharply or as well as it would have been before consuming loads of data. 
 
How do we improve our memory capacity? Sleep is key
Because of how memories are formed - which requires strengthening of s...

What does your mind do when it wanders?  Perhaps you catch yourself getting 'lost in thought'...  moments of daydreaming, wondering, wandering...  

Do you believe that those 'lapses in attention' are helpful or hindering?  
Without knowing what the brain is actually doing during those moments, we might be too quick to dismiss our lapses in attention as wasted time or something to be discouraged. 
 


 
 

 
“Rest is not idleness.”
John Lubbock, The Use of Life (1894)
 

Looking Out and Looking In
In this interview with pioneering neuroscientist Dr. Mary Helen Immordino-Yang, we explore the brain's distinctions between looking out, being outwardly and outcome-focused, compared with the brain's ability and tendency to look inward, beyond the here-and-n0w. 
From this research, we see how the brain's ability to shift, toggle and navigate between these inward and outward views is in fact a powerful mechanism for more complex thinking.
 
Our brain's ability to perceive beyond the here-and-now is related to social-cognitive complexity.
There are a lot of different ways we can talk about complexity.
In some of her research, we see Complexity as an increasing coordination and integration of perspectives and elements. The ability to coordinate and integrate different perspectives and elements, is also reflected in increased coordination and ability to efficiently activated and toggle between networks and systems of the brain. 
This toggling and shifting of activity depending on context and what we are doing with our attention is part of a wider view of looking at systems that help us deal both with our external environments, our internal environments as well as what we are able to do with all of that information.
 

 
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A Bias Towards Outward Attention
A lot of discussion about attention has to do with how we are attending to the outside world.  When we talk about challenges with attention, we are often pointing to lapses in externally focused attention. 
Decades of research reflect that there are three differentiated systems that help monitor and respond to the environment around us and incoming stimuli:  these are the Alerting, Orienting and Executive Control Systems (see Corbetta & Shulman, 2002; Fan, McCandliss, Sommer, Raz, & Posner, 2002; Posner & Petersen, 1990) 
These are critical for cognitive development and many different domains of life, and interventions in schools for example that strengthen these skills help improve academic performance (Posner & Rothbart, 2005; Smallwood et al., 2007; Stevens, Lauinger, & Neville, 2009).
 
What if our environments are demanding TOO MUCH of this externally-oriented attention?
What if our brain needs time for inward reflection as a way to make it better at processing information?
What if our assessment of brain functioning based on outward attention is an INCOMPLETE PICTURE?
 

 

Rest is Not Idleness
To understand this, we can look at what the brain does when it is NOT goal-directed, or paying attention to an external stimulus.  Increasing amounts of research are exploring how the brain’s architecture activates according to various functions, such as Task Positive and Task Negative.  
TASK POSITIVE: when brain architecture is recruited with active enga...

“[...] humans, people and knowledge are not only objectively significant: they are by far the most significant phenomena in nature – the only ones whose behaviour cannot be understood without understanding everything of fundamental importance.”
― David Deutsch, The Beginning of Infinity: Explanations That Transform the World
 

 

 
As AI becomes increasingly more of an influence in many realms of life at higher speeds than expected - whether we are thinking about loss of jobs and the ripple effects of that into the economy, or tech addiction and the belief-behavior manipulation that AI is capable of, there are new realms of exploration that will also become important to us. 
This is especially the case if we wish to create conditions for ourselves that will sustain us into the future in terms of jobs/work, lifestyle, mental health and Human Thriving.

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The beauty of Artificial Intelligence is that it pushes us to also more deeply understand the nature of Intelligence itself. 
What is intelligence and how are humans set apart from other species and machines?*  As physicist David Deutsch says, we are universal constructors - our intelligence is generalized and generalizable - making us capable of adapting to any corner of any ecosystem.
*(I’ll be covering the concept of intelligence in an upcoming episode)
 
Intelligence is a complex notion.  Marvin Minsky, an AI pioneer, in a 1998 interview with Edge, talked about intelligence as a "suitcase word":
“all of us use these [terms] to encapsulate our jumbled ideas about our minds. We use those words as suitcases in which to contain all sorts of mysteries that we can’t yet explain.”
 
Like a suitcase that's packed full of many different things, some are related, some aren't. Melanie Mitchell of the Santa Fe institute also reflects this In a SFI podcast series on intelligence:
“there's no single thing that intelligence is. It's a whole bunch of different capabilities and ways of being that perhaps are not just one single thing that you could either have more of or less of or get to the level of something. It's much more of a complex notion. There's a lot of different hallmarks that people think of when they think of intelligence” 
 

 The more we talk about intelligence the more we might see a few key themes emerge...

That humans are still pretty special in terms of what we are able to do with our minds and bodies;
That the word intelligence is a ‘suitcase word’ and that it is such a complex notion that even trying to define it helps us explore our own and others’ paradigms and capacities for complex perspectives;
That the body and embodied intelligence are massively important and often ignored a missing from many explorations about intelligence;
The more we talk about complexity and explore the Nature of Intelligence, the better chance me have at designing Systems and Environments that actually facilitate on highest capacities for learning, resilience and adaptation

 

Our human intelligence, unlike AI, is embodied… it is enfleshed and interacts with sensory-motor, visceral-kinesthetic,

"It's a blessing to be hidden and a disaster not to be found."
- D. W. Winnicott

 
The labels we assign to ourselves or accept from others can drastically influence our self-perception and motivation. The words we hear about us, particularly when we are little - activate neural circuits within us that can become aspects of our Inner Speech.  This internal narrative accompanies us at all times and guides our explanations as to why things don’t work out, how we might look at a problem, how we perceive and value ourselves. 
Our brains are inherently plastic, continuously rewiring in response to our thoughts and experiences. Internalizing negative labels can lead to repetitive brain activity and not only interprets our internal and external environments, but predicts what will happen - leading to self-fulfilling prophecies that can dramatically stifle and suffocate our growth and potential. 
In this podcast, we speak about the process of Recognition and Attunement as profound healing tools. We also look at the importance of play, improvisation and embracing complexity.  We look at the difference between hope and optimism and the role Agency plays in this difference.
 

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Here are a few key highlights (a more extensive article about this episode will be coming soon!
1 - Recognition is about taking something novel and making it familiar.
To also recognize that part of what's going on for them... has as much or more to do with the injuries of being labeled and treated as a broken thing than it does with the psychiatric issue."
 
2- Attunement - reflects the essence of recognition  
Attunement is a deep, empathetic understanding of another person's emotional state - but not mirroring. We are not necessarily moving into the same state as the other person.  It reflects the essence that 'my behavior towards you and my care for you has a message of recognition in it.
 
3 - Hope isn't optimism...
Hope is the thing you do that drives you to the thing you yearn for through uncertainty. You can't get people to hope, what you can get them to do is to have more faith in themselves.  Dr. Ellenhorn also discusses the "fear of hope," where people become fearful of hoping for change because of how much disappointment they have experienced in the past.  This fear can become a significant barrier to progress, and can trap people into a cycle of self-preservation (which takes many forms).  We look at how self-efficacy, perceived ability to cope and a sense of agency, can help people overcome this fear and navigate the uncertainties of change.
 
 

Dr. Ellenhorn is a pioneer and leader in the development and promotion of community integration services, types of care that serve and empower individuals diagnosed with psychiatric and/or addiction issues while they remain in their own communities and outside institutional settings.
Trained as a sociologist, psychotherapist and social worker, Ross Ellenhorn, Ph.D., created the first fully operational intensive hospital-diversion and wraparound program in Massachusetts, and went on to establish and lead one of the first public...

Attachment theory is not a 'theory'.. it's a part of our neurophysiological operating system
It’s a biobehavioral adaptation that helps us regulate ourselves and explore new frontiers. 
And attachment is not just a childhood concept. It is something that carries out through our life.

 
In this podcast interview, I speak with Deb MacNamara, a developmental psychologist and author of Rest, Play, Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers and Anyone who Acts Like One.  Deb is a student of Gordon Neufeld and the Neufeld Institute, a pioneer and leader in the field of Attachment science. 
As Gordon Neufeld states,
“in a nutshell, everything development wise begins with attachment, whether it's particles that combine into atoms, elements that merge into compounds, seeds that attach by their roots, humans that couple up to make babies, and of course, the attachments of the zygote of the embryo, fetus, baby toddler, growing child, adolescent, and beyond, each a prerequisite for the further unfolding of potential” 
As he further explains, everything related to attachment is related to Dependence.
“whether it is a plant attached to the soil, fungus attached to a tree, electrons attached to the atomic nucleus, or our moon attached to the earth, or humans attached to each other”.  Survival within our universe relies on the dependence one entity upon another to be taken care of in some way or another. 
 

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A few key concepts emerge from our interview:
 
Dependence is not the enemy of independence.
Getting our attachment needs met allows our brain and nervous system to free up its energy for exploration, play and independence.
It’s about satiated attachment. When our true deepest attachment needs are fulfilled with our attachment figures, that is what allows us to become independent.
When those deep needs are not satiated, when that presence and attunement are not there, that is when we go on the hunt. We become seekers constantly of trying to get attachment needs met elsewhere by other circles of people that may never end up being able to be that attachment figure for us, that safe harbor.
 
Maturation is spontaneous but not inevitable.
When we allow and cultivate the right conditions, humans expand into their maturity.  We can’t force maturity to happen.  It is much like a gardener, making the soil fertile for growth and ensuring the conditions are there.
The developmental framework that highlights these conditions for humans to reach their potential is also the title of Deb’s book: Rest, Play Grow.
 
Emotional, physiological and relational “rest”. 
One aspect of rest is rest from that pursuit and preoccupation for attachment. 
Our nervous systems regulate and co regulate according to who we're with, the frequencies and the transmissions of the internal state of the people around us, how attuned they are and responsive to us as well.
What this framework is talking about in terms of this rest from this preoccupation is that we, as whoever we are in our relationships with another, that we find ways to allow for that rest to happen. We're creating some sort of home base or security within our relationships.
As Deb says in her book:  “Children are not meant to work for love. They are meant to rest in someone's care so that they can play and grow.” This is why relationships matter. 
 
The biggest preoccupation for survival is attachment.

"your brain is editing out what it thinks you should know about and what you shouldn't know about."
-Dr. Allan Hamilton
 

Understanding why we react the way we do, where our patterns come from and how we can show up differently gives us strength, agency and internal safety because it increases our ability to choose... choose our boundaries, our behaviors, our values, our preferences. 
Understanding our brains and nervous systems helps us stop repeating behaviors and over and over again that don't lead to the experiences we truly yearn for, particularly when it comes to our relationships and desire for true, authentic connection.
In this episode with Dr. Allan Hamilton, we cover many themes, such as what happen to brains in love and after rejection, gender, the effects of video games and social media on bio-behavioral outcomes, and intergenerational trauma. We also talk about following one’s interests, passions and curiosities - you’ll hear about my beginnings at the age of 6 hosting N-E-R-D radio on my double cassette player 🙂
Learn more about Dr. Hamilton's latest book Cerebral Entanglements: How the Brain Shapes Our Public and Private Lives
 


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What you will hear as a thread that weaves through our conversation is that...
Human connection matters. 
Safe, trusting relationships have the capacity to buffer the effects of  negative influences that exist in our world.
Dr. Hamilton explains how the hormone oxytocin plays a pivotal role in fostering trust, affection, and deep connections between individuals. This hormone, often referred to as a "bonding hormone," is crucial for nurturing relationships, whether through intimate conversations, warm hugs, or even petting a dog. The research we discuss highlights the importance of  how human connection can offer a buffer against life's challenges.
 

We also see in this interview that..
the brain, more than anything, is a predictive system.
It conserves energy by attempting to predict - rather than truly understand - what is in front of it. 
When information is missing, it fills in the blanks based on its past. It seeks out cues that confirm its predictions and distorts or ignores anything that could contradict what it already predicted to be true.
Because we are generally surrounded by the same people over and over again in the first phases of life, many of the sociobiological signals we experience are repeated enough to build up a strong, predictive dataset for our brain to make calculations about what the ‘world’ is like.   But this data set is limited. It’s based on only a few people.   From this tiny number of people, it creates a model of how the world is - what it contains for us in terms of human-to-human interaction.
 

The brain deals in long-term, repetitive patterns. 
Until we become aware of these patterns and predictions, we may use them so unconsciously and often that we re-create scenarios that return us to our familiar ways of perceiving and inter...

Ever feel like your brain's in a fog? Like something is off and your brain is not firing on all cylinders? This is something I come across a lot when working with clients, and particularly in doing brain maps.
What might be underlying our brain fog, and importantly, what can we do about it?
 

Mindset is important. 
Our belief in our ability to change our brain is a key to actually changing our behaviors because it changes WHAT we notice and HOW we interpret what we notice. 
BUT…  if we don't set the stage with certain aspects of our life and certain conditions, it can make that change a lot more difficult. If we're not complementing our mindset with other aspects of life, it just robs our brain body system of the resources it needs to create change and to do what it needs to do.
Please note: None of the suggestions in this article are intended as medical advice. If you're concerned about your brain health, please talk to your doctor.
 
Why Brain Fog Happens
There are a few things that I see contributing to brain fog based on self-report measures and brain maps I have seen. One is an imbalance of brainwaves. If you're feeling foggy, it's possible that you have too much slow-wave activity (like theta waves) and not enough fast-wave activity. The theta brainwave is a slow wave, and is related to a state of sleepiness - it’s the state we’re in right before we drift off to sleep.  It’s not a ‘bad’ brainwave - it is also related to deep states of meditation, and creativity and daydreaming...but if we are trying to learn or pay attention, it’s not ideal to feel like we are in a fog or drifting off.
There are four things that can be helpful for us to explore if we want to accelerate desired changes in our brain body system.  There are many others, but i’ll just cover four that come up in terms of patterns I see  in brain maps and what people self-report from the surveys they answer in conjunction with the brain maps. 

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What and when you eat.
When I worked as a school and family counselor, I was often asked to work with students who were falling asleep, who were very drowsy. One of the first things I always asked was what they had for breakfast that day. Too many times, the answer was nothing or sugary cereal or maybe a soda. And that was hours before the lunch period. 
Making a small adjustment such as adding a bit more protein and hydration, and lowering processed food and sugar made a big difference in the behaviors and mental stamina of those students.  
I can say that for me, personally, anything with a lot of sugar, processed food, can really deplete  my energy and mental stamina. Having too many sugars or carbs especially in the morning results in feelings of brain fog, and having protein especially early in the day helps sustain better mental clarity and energy. I’m also a fan of Time-Restricted Eating (also known as intermittent fasting). I find that this helps me have my highest levels of mental clarity in the morning.   See also: UC San Diego research on time-restricted eating in humans , Time Restricted Eating and Gene Expression
 
 

Years ago, while studying with my mentor-professor at NYU, Zoran Josipovic - who was looking at brains scans of monks - I decided to stay for a few months at various monasteries. One of them was Deer Park - under the guidance of Thich Nhat Hanh.  It was an eye-opening experience. We engaged in many meditation and mindful breathing practices.
These practices taught me the power of our breath.
How it is a bridge not only between brain, body and Mind, but also a bridge between conscious and subconscious forces that play a role in our behaviors, feelings and reactions.
In neuroscience we talk a lot about the brain.  We often forget that our circulation system was the first to form in the womb. And the master pump that orchestrates so much of our life is indeed the heart.
The heart picks up on a lot of things. It’s a system that serves as part of a bridge between body and brain. Its rhythms link with how we feel.  
And how we feel is a critical factor of what we will do next.  
How we feel internally drives both our conscious and unconscious behaviors.   Our heart and how it slows down or speeds up is intricately connected to how we move, what we pay attention to, what we decide.
 

In fact, the heart has a lot of different networks that actually can give it the title of its own 'little brain'. 
It even has an endocrine function, which means it actually releases hormones like serotonin. 
As much as our brains are part of our experience, our hearts integrate massive amounts of data that are critical to our optimal functioning.
For example:

a heart condition that can result from losing a loved one can cause an outpouring of adrenaline and abnormal contraction in the left ventricle - this is known as Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (named after the Japanese trapping pot for Octopus that resembles the heart)
High social connectedness may be associated with better outcomes after stroke
By contrast, reduced social interactions caused by panic and anxiety disorders have been associated with reduced parasympathetic tone, a known contributor to cardiovascular disease risk.


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Within that heart-brain network, there is a way for us to have more control.
 
Having control over our attentional systems is possibly one of the most important skills we can have in order for any other kind of progress or technique to work.
 
One way we can work these attentional systems is to focus on and control our breath.
Even if it is fast initially, there is still a rhythm to it, and it is always with us. This makes it an ever-present tool for improving our attentional control.  Focusing on this and using our voluntary somatic nervous system tools to extend it or slow it down also works inhibitory control networks.

As we approach the end of the year, we may start notice within ourselves - and others - feelings of exhaustion, burn out, feeling frazzled or overwhelmed.  
 
There are seasons that are influenced socially and symbolically..
for example, the beginning of academic years, the end of a calendar year, holiday breaks, shortened days, different temperatures...  all of these can affect us in different ways.
For many people, as we approach the end of the year, there are potentially different gatherings, breaks from routine,
and added expectations about what 'should have' happened this year, what didn't happen, unwanted patterns we didn't want to have repeated...
 
All of that can influence our internal state, as well as the internal states and behaviors of the people around us.
While there is so much that we cannot change, there is power in getting better at how we tune in to ourselves and how we stay as open as we can to new possibilities.
Many of those new possibilities come from a more intelligent, flexible and sophisticated way of interpreting and responding to our own fluctuations, and emotions - AND doing the same for how we respond and react within our interactions and communications.
 

Below is an article and podcast about a modern perspective on Stimulus-Response - and how we can use this wisdom to not become overwhelmed by the behaviors, reactions and expectations of others.
 

Taking things too personally can lead to overamplified emotions and reactions that distort our thinking and relationships. 
The good news is that we can get better at navigating challenging interactions, feelings, and relationships when we understand how unconscious influences play a role in our response. 

To help us understand all of this, an important framework is the Stimulus Organism Response Model. 
This is in comparison to a Stimulus-Response Model.
A term we use for the basic stimulus-response (SR) model is “unmediated”. It means that there is no in between process or mediator between the stimulus and the response.  The SR model can sometimes be applied to single-cell organisms that have fairly simple stimulus-response systems. If an event occurs, it's fairly predictable what their response will be*
If we were to try to apply this SR model to more complex organisms, however, we would see that something's missing from the equation. 
For example, if a traumatic event, such as a natural disaster occurs, that's the stimulus. According to the SR model, we can reliably predict a person's response. Or if an event like winning a lottery happens, we would also, using the SR model, be able to more or less predict the response for every single human that that happens to. Because according to that model, it's the event or stimulus that directly causes the response. 
As we can see from those two examples, and as a lot of research has demonstrated*, humans do not have a universal, identical response to events like the lottery or tragic events.
*I go into this more in-depth in my book
**see research citations

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What we need to realize is that… 
 
Every interaction between humans is an interaction between two complex nervous systems with histories. 
Humans are complex and adaptive, meaning that a lot of things evolve and emerge from our interactions and our relational dynamics. That can't be simplified into a very simple equation. 

Connection is a 'biological imperative'.
Being a mammal means that we are extremely 'nurture-dependent'.
We cannot survive without connection to another. On the one hand, each human must become self regulating to a certain degree. Self-regulation is what we do on our own to regulate our nervous system.Co-regulation is another essential aspect of our survival as mammals. Co-regulation is the mechanism we use to regulate our nervous system by connecting with other living beings. We can co-regulate with other mammals and with people.
As wonderful as pets and animals are, however, an essential type of co-regulating in terms of our brain functioning is with other humans.
Why? Because the health of our neural circuitry depends on complex feedback loops.
The more complex and less repetitive the stimulus we get, the stronger our brains become because we need to fire up very flexible and sophisticated networks to respond.
All of this means that if we really want to have our brains function at their highest level, we need to connect with other humans.
Bittersweet, right? Sometimes we don't want to deal with other humans - which is where self-regulation comes in… BUT we can't stay alone. We need to balance our alone time with relationships - for the sake of our brain and nervous system!
 
There are various ways we can co-regulate. 
One way is to use the physical (and online) presence of others to regulate our state.  We can also call this 'bottom-up' or ‘conditional’ regulation.
This can include conversations,

* doing activities together,
* moving together (dancing, sports),
* eating together.

The cool part about spending time with another person is that when we engage in 'joint attention' or 'joint movement' we actually increase the chances of forming brainwave coherence with that person.
Human brainwaves can synchronize for better problem-solving and co-regulation
This means that our brainwaves can synchronize its patterns with another person's, and this can make us actually feel like we are 'on the same wavelength' as them.
Teams and partners who have brainwave coherence can solve problems more efficiently and effectively.
 
 

Have you ever felt like you were on the same 'wavelength' as someone?
In this episode, we take a look at how synchronized brainwaves help us move into higher levels of collective intelligence.
 





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I met Caroline Szymanski several years when we co-facilitated a workshop on the Neurobiology of Innovation at the Design Thinking Festival - hosted by the Hasso Platner Institute for Design Thinking. She is a social neuroscientist, consultant, coach at the HPI School of Design Thinking and former researcher at the Max Planck Institute for Human Development.  
Caroline’s work explores how our brains function not just in isolation but in dynamic, social settings. Her research focuses on concepts such as co-creation and innovation, and how our brains align in terms of wave frequencies when we engage with others. Her insights challenge traditional views of neuroscience that often consider the brain in isolation, rather than as part of an interactive social organism.  Her social brain research helps us better understand how brains functio...

Whether it's asking a question, raising our hands, speaking in public, posting or publishing, expressing something new, asking someone out, having a difficult conversation, setting a boundary, or wanting to have a new experience that challenges us…  our ability to push through the unfamiliar and take action has to do with the idea of bravery, courage and vulnerability. 
 
"In order for there to be courage, there needs to be risk. 
It doesn't take courage to open up the refrigerator."
- Seth Godin
 
 
When we want something new to happen in our life, we need to do something we’ve never done before.
A lot of the time, doing something we’ve never done before makes us so nervous that we may not end up doing it all.  Putting ourselves out there requires courage and our willingness to be vulnerable.
In this episode I share the science behind building new neural circuits that can help us override our fear of doing new and challenging things so that we can build up courage and bravery as a skill that we can learn - and then teach to others.
 


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Can we teach people (and ourselves) how to be brave? 
What does being brave even mean? Can we learn how to have more courage? Is there a process behind it?
While there are no simple or concrete answers to this, looking at the idea of bravery through the lens of neuroscience might help us understand it better.  And understanding things in new ways can help us and teach them. 
 
There are 5 key aspects that come up as we explore bravery from a nervous system and brain-body perspective. 
Learn about these in today’s Mindset Neuroscience Mini Episode:


 


The Fear Quadrant
This is a tool we can use to explore how our nervous system categorizes fear and what we can do to respond adaptively to stress and anxiety about situations that are new and unfamiliar, but that could bring us to higher levels of growth and resilience.
 




Agency 
This refers to the belief in one's ability to handle and survive different experiences, whether they involve physical or psychological threats. High levels of agency make it easier to face challenges.
 




Neural Track Records 
Repeatedly facing specific kinds of challenges can help us strengthen neural circuits that lead us to persevere through challenging situations.
 




Reappraisal of Physiological Sensations
This involves interpreting bodily responses (like nervousness) in ways that shift our nervous system response so that we are able to approach new situations and opportunities.
 



Expectation-Shifting



We can rewire our expectations to focus on personal growth and learning rather than external validation (like likes or applause). This expectation-shifting can lead to continuous increases in our sense of agency.

 

These concepts can help us get curious about how we can build, inspire and teach bravery by changing perceptions and responses to fear and challenging situations.
 
Learn about these in today’s Mindset Neuroscience Mini Episode.
 
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When we truly understand the power of the human brain, and we authentically become learners, neuroscience becomes a language of the human spirit - one that empowers and inspires. 
Unfortunately, it can also become a language of buzzwords, hype and cheerleading without substance.

 

There are micro-signals of authenticity that reflect our internal states and that transmit frequencies to others that can lead them to trust us.
However… those signals can also lead people to resist us when they can detect that we are not truly walking our talk.
 

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For the past decade, I have been teaching the neuroscience of growth mindset to audiences all over the world and have developed curriculum for non-profits, international organizations and schools to help more people understand the power of the human brain and the influence our Mindset has on our behaviors and life trajectories.  
 
Many people have asked me about how to infuse their organization, their business, or their classroom or school with the idea of growth mindset.  I always get excited that people are understanding and learning about neuroplasticity and how our mindset affects us. However, I also see a lot of resistance to it.
 
A lot of people believe growth mindset is too much of a hype and an overused catchphrase. 
A key issue that has occurred is that growth mindset is used in ways and by people who have not necessarily really understood and reflected on it as deeply as they could. 
One way I have seen this happen (and research attests to) is that many teachers and leaders skip right to trying to teach it or convince others about its importance, but they have over-simplified the complex research surrounding it, and they have also skipped over the internalizing process.
 
This is part of what Carol Dweck calls false growth mindset.
Learn more about what false growth mindset is and a 3 step process to help avoid this in today’s podcast.
The bottom line is that when it comes to teaching people how to become more curious, open to challenge, discomfort and iteration - we can’t just talk about it on a conceptual level.

We also have to understand that growth mindset is not an either/or category.  We all have a variety of mindsets depending on each context.  


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As we speak, we send nonverbal micro-signals about how we FEEL as we say the words we are choosing. 
We do this partly through sensory motor simulations about what we are saying. The richer and more personal our own experiences are,

As we approach the holidays and important moments in history… are there social or family dynamics that feel like repeats or remnants from the past?

 
Do you sometimes get the feeling that nothing ever really changes? 

Repeating history isn’t necessarily a bad thing… If we’re repeating the parts of it we like.
A part of our growth and learning is that we take what has happened and we try to get better at having more of what we want and less of what we don’t want. If we are finding that we have similar patterns that we don’t like and these patterns keep repeating, then we may want to think about what it is that keeps us in the same cycles.
It might be relationship patterns, arguments or conversations that you have over and over again with the same people that seem to go nowhere or make things worse.  Or it might be habits that you want to improve, but you just can’t seem to.

 
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What can keep us in repetitive cycles has to do with neurochemical patterns and identities
These are sensory-motor patterns and sequences of micro-movements and adjustments that have been established in terms of our brain activity and neural circuits.
These patterns and cycles can feel very familiar.  Familiarity is often favored by the brain body system because it’s efficient. It’s already figured out the resources, behaviors, patterns, and algorithms associated with very repetitive things that happen.
Unfortunately, if these things are not things we want to keep repeating, we must introduce new behaviors enough times that the brain body system begins to favor those instead.


The first step to disrupting these, however, is awareness.
Without knowing we are in these patterns, and without reflecting on what it is, that keeps us in them, we don’t activate the brain systems that that are needed to make alternative choices and to perceive things in new ways.
What are patterns and cycles that you see happening in society, your communities, family, and your own life that you would love to see disrupted or improved?
Simply starting with that first step: of noticing repetitive cycles that are not leading to new results is a powerful first part of the process to disrupt them.
 


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"When we say that we are aware of a certain piece of information, what we mean is just this: the information has entered into a specific storage area that makes it available to the rest of the brain"
-Stanislas Dehaene, Consciousness and the brain

We’ve all heard the saying that the same level of consciousness that thinks of a problem is not going to be the same one that solves it. Noticing that a pattern is repeating and becoming more aware of the sensations and behaviors associated with it will help light up new brain circuits that bring you into a new level of consciousness. noticing our behaviors puts them into what neuroscientist Stanislas Dehaene calls our brain's global conscious workspace .
This workspace is where we have the ability to improve our mastery and control, where we activate neural circuits that make us better humans.  We begin to access the precise features of the human brain that move us...

Purpose isn't just some grandiose, once-in-a-lifetime discovery. It's not a single "aha" moment where suddenly everything clicks.
Instead, we can view a sense of purpose as an ongoing narrative that evolves with our unique sensitivities* and experiences - and the meaning we make about those sensitivities and experiences.
*a sensitivity is related to what we notice in our external and internal environments. What do we seem to notice that many others don’t?

The following are 5 keys that emerge from systems-thinking and neuroscience research as it relates to Purpose
 

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#1 - PURPOSE ISN’T ALWAYS A GRANDIOSE THING
A sense of purpose can be something that lights us up and motivates us to strive to contribute something unique and special.
But... as we'll see from the research...
purpose can also be about understanding that we are all playing a part of bigger, interconnected systems.
 
Our sense of purpose is tied to the systems around us—our families, communities, even the universe—and understanding how we fit into these complex, interconnected webs.
From the neurons firing in your brain to the city, family and community you live in, everything operates as a system.  By viewing ourselves as part of these systems, our brain activity opens up to new types of connectivity. We start to see patterns, connections, and roles that we can play.
 

#2 - BRAIN CONNECTIONS IMPROVE WHEN WE THINK OF OUR INTERCONNECTEDNESS
Brain research shows higher connectivity of important brain networks in people who see the world from a larger, systems view
What research points to is that this kind of systems approach to narratives also activate particular networks in the brain that help us become more agile, and more adaptive.
 
Systems-related purpose is tied to a shift in perspective.
It’s about going beyond the  "here-and-now" (or "there-and-then"), and creating abstract narratives that reflect broader systems, processes, and contexts.
It’s about connecting dots that transcend what is directly observable in a situation.
Here is an example* that illustrates the difference:
We see two people cutting stones.

* One of them describes their purpose or function by saying  ‘my purpose is to cut stone’ . That would be A concrete, here-and-now description.
* In contrast, the other person says  ‘I am building a place for community to gather’.  This goes beyond the here and now and begins an abstract projection of what a larger system that their actions are contributing to.

 *from the Open University course on Managing Complexity

New, pioneering brain research is looking at how this kind of narrative building wires the brain and improves life outcomes.
In particular, work by Mary Helen Immordino-yang and colleagues, is looking at the long-term effects of purpose and transcendent narratives in terms of mental health, relationship skills and academic performance in adolescents.
Their research points to three main components of narrative-building, supported by three of the brain's major networks: affective salience, effortful attending, and broader reflection:

* Affective recognition: aka., feel the emotional 'juice' of why an issue is important  (Salience Network).

"One thing about human intelligence is absolutely certain: it is malleable, meaning it can be changed through exposure to new information or even by looking at what you already know in a new way.  There is no limit to what you can learn, and, contrary to what some may think, nobody's brain has ever been "filled." 
-Terry Doyle and Todd Zakrajsek, The New Science of Learning: How to Learn in Harmony With Your Brain
 
 

Growth mindset neuroscience is about a belief in the changeability of the human brain and our ability to increase  our intelligence and abilities. 
As MIT’s Teaching + Learning Lab puts it:
"students who believe they can substantially increase their intelligence and ability through experience and effort (‘growth mindset’) often react to academic challenges by allocating more effort, experimenting with new approaches, and seeking feedback"
A person’s mindset and their belief about intelligence is shown to influence their behaviors and responses to failures and challenge. (Dweck, 2006; Paunescu et al.2015). 
 
Mindset is listed as one of the most powerful leverage points to change, according to systems thinking expert Donella Meadows.  When we increase our understanding of neuroscience and neuroplasticity, our mindset toward learning and intelligence changes.

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Here are 5 suggestions and resources for how to teach the neuroscience of growth mindset
 

#1 - CULTIVATE PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY
Before growth mindset... focus on trust and psychological safety in a learning environment.
Without a sense of psychological safety, human nervous system architecture is wired to keep us on the defensive. This lowers our access to the features of the brain and body needed for learning, innovation, problem-solving and creativity.
The suggestions below are ways we can increase psychological safety:

* understand and talk about neuroplasticity (gives people hope that they can change and improve)
* celebrate mistakes (allows people to iterate and experiment without fear of being judged)
* praise effort (helps people see that it is in the trying and the showing up where growth happens, and that effort is within their locus of control)
* spark self-transcendent purpose (offers a new source of motivation that can help someone persevere through challenges)


 
An additional way we can increase a sense of psychological safety with others is to be as authentic as we can be.  When we teach about growth mindset but we don't challenge ourselves to learn new things, or embrace our own mistakes, the people we are teaching can pick up on that.
For us to authentically teach growth mindset, we need to be able to explain from a standpoint of a beginner, someone who is ‘starting from scratch’ and going through the many learning dips, discomfort and awkwardness of learning a new skill, habit, belief or behavior.
That’s why it’s important to learn new things that challenge you,

Emotion regulation doesn't mean being calm and collected all the time.
It's about range and repertoire, and an ability to intentionally shift into a state we prefer.  A state that 'feels better'.  Feeling better is always relative - if we feel isolated alone, we may want to feel more connected with others, with ourself, or with life in general.  If we feel over-stimulated, we may want to shift into a calmer state.
 


 
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Emotion regulation is one of the most important skills we can learn in this lifetime.
Our human brain gives us the capacity to learn how to do it better, even if we did not have models of this growing up.  It's a continuous process.  The links in this article are meant to give you additional resources for learning about emotion regulation.
 
We can do this because our human brain circuitry gives us the ability to LEARN to do this. 
Every human on the planet is capable of learning how to self-regulate. However, it is important to note that human children are not born with the capacity to self-regulate. They must have attuned, responsive caregivers who nurture the child's brain development through co-regulation.
This means that because our earliest experiences and conditions are not always in our control, it can make it difficult for some people to learn how to regulate in adaptive ways.  This means it is also challenging for a large portion of the planet to learn how to consciously self-regulate.
 
So whether we are dealing with young people, or adults -
there's a  chance some of them did not have what they needed growing up in order to develop emotion regulation skills to their highest potential.
This is why we need self-regulation models. 
Models are not more 'special' than anyone else. It's just they've managed to learn how to regulate themselves well enough that they are able to help others do it too.
 
If you'd like to become better at regulating your emotions and understanding how to help others regulate theirs, here are 5 Key Pillars:
 
1) Ability to co-regulate with others 
This means we are able to seek out closeness, intimacy and psychological safety with others.  This helps us get out of the trance of our own thoughts and narratives. It opens us up to other people’s experiences and perspectives, and also serves as a mirror for us to practice how to send signals using  our voice, hands, face and body in ways that create feedback loops with others that are co-creative, restorative and safe.  These are types of mammalian behaviors that are tied to oxytocinergic systems that help us achieve homeostasis through connection.
 
Social interactions also help us complexify our problem-solving and creative abilities by offering multiple unpredictable and unstable feedback loops that we must engage in moment-by-moment.  These articles and videos provide ideas for how to get better at co-regulation
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