Attachment theory is not a 'theory'.. it's a part of our neurophysiological operating system
It’s a biobehavioral adaptation that helps us regulate ourselves and explore new frontiers. 
And attachment is not just a childhood concept. It is something that carries out through our life.

 
In this podcast interview, I speak with Deb MacNamara, a developmental psychologist and author of Rest, Play, Grow: Making Sense of Preschoolers and Anyone who Acts Like One.  Deb is a student of Gordon Neufeld and the Neufeld Institute, a pioneer and leader in the field of Attachment science. 
As Gordon Neufeld states,
“in a nutshell, everything development wise begins with attachment, whether it's particles that combine into atoms, elements that merge into compounds, seeds that attach by their roots, humans that couple up to make babies, and of course, the attachments of the zygote of the embryo, fetus, baby toddler, growing child, adolescent, and beyond, each a prerequisite for the further unfolding of potential” 
As he further explains, everything related to attachment is related to Dependence.
“whether it is a plant attached to the soil, fungus attached to a tree, electrons attached to the atomic nucleus, or our moon attached to the earth, or humans attached to each other”.  Survival within our universe relies on the dependence one entity upon another to be taken care of in some way or another. 
 

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A few key concepts emerge from our interview:
 
Dependence is not the enemy of independence.
Getting our attachment needs met allows our brain and nervous system to free up its energy for exploration, play and independence.
It’s about satiated attachment. When our true deepest attachment needs are fulfilled with our attachment figures, that is what allows us to become independent.
When those deep needs are not satiated, when that presence and attunement are not there, that is when we go on the hunt. We become seekers constantly of trying to get attachment needs met elsewhere by other circles of people that may never end up being able to be that attachment figure for us, that safe harbor.
 
Maturation is spontaneous but not inevitable.
When we allow and cultivate the right conditions, humans expand into their maturity.  We can’t force maturity to happen.  It is much like a gardener, making the soil fertile for growth and ensuring the conditions are there.
The developmental framework that highlights these conditions for humans to reach their potential is also the title of Deb’s book: Rest, Play Grow.
 
Emotional, physiological and relational “rest”. 
One aspect of rest is rest from that pursuit and preoccupation for attachment. 
Our nervous systems regulate and co regulate according to who we're with, the frequencies and the transmissions of the internal state of the people around us, how attuned they are and responsive to us as well.
What this framework is talking about in terms of this rest from this preoccupation is that we, as whoever we are in our relationships with another, that we find ways to allow for that rest to happen. We're creating some sort of home base or security within our relationships.
As Deb says in her book:  “Children are not meant to work for love. They are meant to rest in someone's care so that they can play and grow.” This is why relationships matter. 
 
The biggest preoccupation for survival is attachment.