Lotsa Pasta

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Episode Three Hundred Four: Pen to Paper Part Five

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

6 days ago

5 hours 32 minutes 46 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

It was a simple premise…  What if WE wrote our own stories?

I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are?  So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.

I want to thank all the guests on today’s episodes for being a bunch of real gents. Ramses, first off, for sharing his wonderful fucking story with me and for being so fucking humble about how amazing it is. And then Mark and Royale for just sitting with me and letting me read to them and for being willing to talk to me about it with them afterwards. I am so utterly grateful for your involvement in my life and appreciate the crap out of y’all for joining me on this. I love you guys. Thank you for being a part of this with me. This is PART FIVE of SIX, y’all.  I’M GONNA CLIMAX.

There is a Machine by Ramses Vanderslice (6:13)

Smarter Than You Think by Captain Death (42.21)

I Can Smell It by Captain Death (2:23:34)

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:  CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.  Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!

“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

1 week ago

4 hours 5 minutes 32 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

Episode Three Hundred Three: Pen to Paper Part Four

It was a simple premise…
What if WE wrote our own stories?

I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are?
So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.

I want to thank both of my guests on today’s episode for being a couple of fucking overachievers. Who would’ve thought that two of my closest friends would have contributed more than I could have ever possibly imagined? I didn’t! I ask you to write five pages? Cool. You write over ten? Even cooler. You write over twenty? Now, we’re getting somewhere… BUT YOU BOTH WROTE OVER 30! What the actual hell? Why’d you do that? Cause you love me? Aw. Well. I love you both. Thank you for being a part of this with me.
This is PART FOUR of SIX, y’all.
I’M MOIST FROM THIS EPISODE!

Dead Light by Mr. Skellybones(18:54)

Aqua-Trash by Deputy Dewey(2:47:36)

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Episode Three Hundred Two: Pen to Paper Part Three

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

3 weeks ago

4 hours 29 minutes 10 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

It was a simple premise…  What if WE wrote our own stories?

I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are?  So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.

I want to thank all of my guests on today’s episode for being the oldest and goldest of the bunch. You know who it is, the ones who’ve been around since the BEGINNING: INCEPTION like Crispy Nolan. It’s the OG of the OG - the CREAMIEST of the CROP. This show wouldn’t be here without this bunch, but you already know that, so let’s see what they got to show for all of those incredible years of experience. I love you all. Thank you for being a part of this with me. 

This is PART THREE of SIX, y’all.  

WE’RE GETTING WARMER!

Jump to Recipe by Django Phillips (28:15)

Journal Entries by WhereAmI? (1:15:08)

This Happens Every Night by Cannibal Siren (2:54:58)

Kin by Frowns McBoohoo (3:54:04)

The Syndicate of Shadows by Terry the Tickler (4:57:04)

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:  CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.  Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!

“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

1 month ago

5 hours 58 minutes 1 second

Lotsa Pasta

Episode Three Hundred One: Pen to Paper Part Two

It was a simple premise…
What if WE wrote our own stories?

I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are?
So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.

I want to thank all of my guests on today’s episode for bridging the gap between the NEW and the OLD. Some of these guys have been around for a while and it shows. When I knew the first episode was going to be all newbies and the third episode were going to be the oldies, everyone in the gray area fell into a lump. THIS IS THE LUMP IN ALL OF ITS BEAUTIFUL GRAY GLORY. I love you all. Thank you for being a part of this with me.
This is PART TWO of SIX, y’all.
LET’S RAISE THE TEMPERATURE A BIT.

Wavelength by Tenron Otrin (17:05)

Something’s Wrong with my Mom by Strawberry Shortcake (1:26:23)

The Dog by Mark Rooster (1:51:30)

Star Trek The Next Generation: The Quest for Taco Bell by Lanky Lucifer (3:18:30)

Saddam’s Cool Fanfic by Punxsutawney Trill (3:59:25)

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Episode Three Hundred: Pen to Paper Part One

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

1 month ago

4 hours 50 minutes 1 second

Lotsa Pasta

It was a simple premise…
What if WE wrote our own stories?

I mean, we talk so much shit all the time. What if we put our collective money where our proverbial mouthes are?
So…We did that - and I couldn’t be happier with how it turned out.

I want to thank all of my guests on today’s episode for breaking us in and being a part of this from the top. This is the SACRIFICIAL grouping - the first people to dip their toe into the lava. Our newest guests, sure, but what do they have to prove? NOTHING. The vulnerability to go first was held against them and they took it in stride. Bless your souls. I love you all. Thank you for being a part of this with me.
This is PART ONE of SIX, y’all.
WE’RE JUST GETTING STARTED.

The Voice by Afternoon Groom (3:24)

High Noon by Afternoon Groom (6:48)

Tag: You’re It by Afternoon Groom (11:10)

Patience by Midnight Bride (35:51)

Did You Know About the Park? by Glitch Blob (1:12:35)

The Walking Stick by Royale w/ Cheese (2:14:57)

Bad to the Bone: The Mary Calcium Story by Sofa King (3:11:07)

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Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Nine: For the History Books

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“Mirror Temple (Mirror Magic Mix)“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

1 month ago

3 hours 54 minutes 5 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

On today’s solo episode we have a casual fan interaction and questionnaire to start things but then we get into the REAL REAL, and I’m talking R E A L with it. I don’t even want to spoil it. I barely want to put the names down but I feel I’d be doing a disservice to everyone if I didn’t source my shit so if they loved something they know what it is and its title and author. FUCK. What a dilemma. When I talked to Barbara Manatee, I knew we’d have a good time, but I didn’t know I’d have such a HARD time after(eyyo). Nah, credit where credit is due, if this solo episode is going to go down in history on Lotsa Pasta for going hard, I want to make sure I’m doing it right. Here’s the stories we’re reading today, some of the best of the best, the cream of the crop. Let’s do this.
The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe (1:08:04)

The Lottery by Shirley Jackson (1:25:55)

Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? By Joyce Carol Oates (1:52:58)

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison (2:40:23)

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Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Eight: An Ode to Danny

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

3 months ago

3 hours 40 minutes 3 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

Look at us, Ramses. Here, again, reading submissions from our once-loyal fan Danny boy. And here we are, again, looking for Danny. It’s been a couple months since Halloween and we still don’t have any sign of him. Is he out there? Hopefully. Is he still sending us requests? No, not at all. Do I miss it? Maybe. It’s hard to say if you miss something until it’s gone, right? At the time, I was like, why? Why keep sending me stuff that I don’t know if we’re ever going to read? Yanno know what I mean? But now, like the effervescent sunrise to sunset, you look out into the horizon and wonder… Where the fuck is Danny? What the hell, Danny. C’mon, man. Send me a message on Facebook. Send me an email (LPCaptainDeath@gmail.com). Danny come back. Any kind of fool could see. There was something in everything you sent us. Danny come back. You can blame most of it on me. I was wrong(maybe) and I just can’t live without you(I mean, I can, but it would be funnier if you sent us more stuff).

Anna’s Gift (28:29) by Ben W. Degand
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Anna%27s_Gift

I’ve Met the Monster in my Closet (1:23:14) by F. Zaidi

https://www.creepypasta.com/i-met-the-monster-in-my-closet/

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Episode Two Hundred Nintey-Seven: This Coat Rack Can't Hang Part Four

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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

4 months ago

1 hour 58 minutes 45 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

What’s better than the beginning of a story? The end of a story. That’s right. I got you. You didn’t see that coming. You couldn’t possibly see that coming. Maybe you did, it is the finale episode for this story after all, we’ve been talking about it for a while. Maybe you did know. Maybe you knew too much. You know what they say about people who know too much. They suck. Yeah, I said it. I got you again, you fucking know-it-all. Anyways, Cannibal Siren and I are back to finish this fucking story once and for all. This one goes out to all the mentally ill both on an off this podcast. May we eternal R.I.P. And by that I mean, rest in pieces (of weed). That’s the real kicker here, after all. If this narrator had just taken a dab none of this would’ve happened. He would’ve been too stoned to read that note in the first place; Chucking that shit out like the junk mail it is. Does this ending redeem itself? Kinda. No spoilers, but KINDA. Let’s get into it.

The Man in my Basement Takes One Step Closer Every Week(45:36) by Polterkites

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/istln5/the_man_in_my_basement_takes_one_step_closer/

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Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Six: Things That Goosebump in the Night 3

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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

4 months ago

2 hours 48 minutes 48 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

What a fun time we have together, Mr. SkellyBones. Let this be a chronicle of our friendship even when I’m long gone, dead and buried. Well, hopefully cremated with my ashes spread around some shitty location in Orlando, Florida that is not The Haunted Mansion found in the Magic Kingdom on Walt Disney World theme park property. Or Horrorland. If you can find it, let me rest there, if possible, cause I already live there mentally whenever I eat peanut butter now. Or whenever I watch any program with Gordon Ramsey. Anyways, we’re back to read more Goosebumps today but before that we’re going to take a brief dive into all things Attack on Titan, because the review has been a long time coming and some promises you make in Dead Space together need to be fulfilled if only to the amusement of one of us. This might be a podcast, but I’m not ALL TALK, everyone.

Goosebumps: One Day at Horrorland (1:31:36) by R.L. Stine

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Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Five: This Coat Rack Can't Hang Part Three

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“Horrorland“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. That is clearly and respectfully due to the awesome artist that is POGO and I merely mention and feature his work here to pay the greatest amount of respect and to shed whatever light I can on his talent. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

5 months ago

3 hours 58 minutes 7 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

What the heck is going on in here? I mean, we keep ending up back in this basement despite all the shit going on and there is A LOT of SHIT going on. Let’s just say that this episode goes to places I never even knew possible, even considering the basement. When we’re not in the basement, who know’s where this is going. At least in the basement, we know where’s it’s going, right? WRONG. It’s going places. Other places. Not basement related places. At its best, this story provides surprises. At its worst, this story provides surprises. It’s a mixed bag, but no one knows where this is going, I assure you. Unreliable as ever, let’s get into it. Back into the basement we go.

The Man in my Basement Takes One Step Closer Every Week(23:38) by Polterkites

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/istln5/the_man_in_my_basement_takes_one_step_closer/

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Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Four: Shidding & Farding & BUTCHERING

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

5 months ago

2 hours 11 minutes 59 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

Well, this is surely a splendid evening with Mr. Heavyhands. We hold ourselves with the utmost decorum, and only the finest quality of conversation. You may say we’re gentlemen, but we claim to be normal folk, you can tell by our wit and our banter as such. We may be reading a story called Butcherface, but we’re also talking about shitting our pants and farting on the podcast. I know, I know. This is what you’re here for. Have you or a loved one ever shit your pants and tried to conceal it? Contact us at LPCaptainDeath@Gmail.com to tell us your harrowing, close-shit experiences. We’re here for it. We’re here for shit. There really isn’t that much more to say. Harold’s a funny guy, I couldn’t help but put him on the shit-seat.

BUTCHERFACE (46:41) by Dash32

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/iffgt/butcherface_part_1/

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Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Three: This Coat Rack Can't Hang Part Two

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

6 months ago

1 hour 45 minutes 14 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

It’s part two and it’s NOT an electric boogaloo, to say the least. It’s more like an exposition boogaloo and let’s just say that the buck doesn’t stop, there. This stories is elevating itself and self-conflating itself in ways I never thought possible and on ONE hand I think I’m being too critical; Because I do really like this story and it makes me think and it tickles that part of my brain where I’m like OH DAMN, that is pretty spooky. And then there’s another side of me that says, I’m an armchair critic and my armchair is getting too old for this shit; By that I mean, we’ve seen this before and we’ve seen this done better. It’s not a good excuse, i’ll keep my liberties close and my coat racks closer… If that even matters anymore. I’ll try to keep this short and sweet, if you catch the tongue-in-cheek nature of the screenshots I’ll be using for the rest of this series, I think you’ll understand where I’m coming from the most. If not, be thankful for the ride. The Man in my Basement Takes One Step Closer Every Week(27:45) by Polterkiteshttps://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/istln5/the_man_in_my_basement_takes_one_step_closer/
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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:  CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.  Follow: @cryo-chamber Thank you!
“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.  Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

7 months ago

2 hours 25 minutes 10 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

Episode Two Hundred Ninety-Two: The Spaghetti & Meatballs Show

On today’s episode we harken back to a simpler time, an easier time, a time of peace, a time of tranquility, a time of getting too high and reading random stories we found on the internet. This morning, join Midnight Bride, Afternoon Groom, and I for a quaint English breakfast where the only English muffin you’ll be getting are the words on this page spoken sensually to your ear-holes. Does Afternoon Groom speak sensually? You bet your butt he does. Does Midnight Bride speak sensually? You bet your front-butt she does. Do I speak sensually? TRICK QUESTION. RHETORICAL. OF COURSE I DO, HOW ELSE WOULD YOU HAVE GOTTEN ALL THE WAY TO EPISODE 292? I’ve lost the plot - Losta Pasta. Let’s figure it out together.

:D (21:44)

The Crayons (29:16)

https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Crayons

The Price of Sugar (35:18)

https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Price_of_Sugar by Cymoril_Melnibone

I See the Death of Everyone I Meet (53:50)

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/4m0vxv/i_see_the_death_of_everyone_i_meet/ by JJX2525

Why I Didn’t Shower for 21 Years (1:11:23)

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1ja4h9/why_i_didnt_shower_for_21_years/ by Red_Grin

Grandma’s Light is Always On (1:30:47)

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/75xw3d/grandmas_light_is_always_on/ by Saint_Entropy

TUG (1:40:59)

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1zvxre/tug/ by Hall7

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Episode Two Hundred Ninety-One: This Coat Rack Can't Hang Part One

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7 months ago

2 hours 4 minutes 46 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

It’s a new series with Cannibal Siren, folks! I know it’s what you wanted, what can I say, I know what the people want. Unfortunately, however, we’e not monster-fucking on this one. Oh, no. No, no. Not that way, at least. There is consent involved in what Cannibal Siren does. Let’s not get too far away from it, there is a monster in this one, and he’s getting close to us in all the worst ways; Non-consentually. There is so much to be said about this one, and we will say it. And you will listen. And we will say more next episode, and hopefully you’ll listen again. This is just part one of four, so let’s just say that there are a lot more steps involved, here. What is this, AA? No, not unless AA stands for anonymous antagonism. And it doesn’t.

The Man in my Basement Takes One Step Closer Every Week(43:05) by Polterkites

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/istln5/the_man_in_my_basement_takes_one_step_closer/

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Episode Two Hundred Ninety: Definitely Not Afraid of Children

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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Thank you!

“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

8 months ago

2 hours 21 minutes 58 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

It was a cold, wintery night when Scutch MacGee stumbled through my door. He was confused, parked in the wrong driveway, and immediately remarked on how he almost got stuck in patches of ice. We greeted each other as brothers, arms wrapped in a warm embrace. We sipped on Whiskey based on his first-born’s namesake while we conversed about horror movies and shit to get excited about this upcoming year. Inevitably, a hush filled the room when he finally spoke up on what was on his mind. His kids. His kids and their ability to be startlingly spooky. He was joking, just like I’m joking now, but you look into a man’s eyes and you just know… Somethings are the truth, and they can’t be masked by humor. They’re all too apparent. Just like how he’s a parent: to some spooky kids. Anyways, then I made him read stories with me about creepy kids. LOL

I Had a Disturbing Conversation with my Seven Year Old (54:28) by samhaysom

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/fiz4d0/i_had_a_disturbing_conversation_with_my_7yearold/

I Had a Disturbing Conversation with my Neighbor’s Ten Year Old Son (1:01:11) by samhaysom

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/dp614a/i_had_a_disturbing_conversation_with_my/

My Son’s Camera Monitor Alerted in the Middle of the Night (1:14:24) by RisingMac

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/bsrmy5/my_sons_camera_monitor_alerted_in_the_middle_of/

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Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Nine: Yet Another SeasonHELL Movie Review

(But also available on all major platforms like iTunes, Spotify, Google, Amazon, etc!)

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8 months ago

1 hour 54 minutes 12 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

What happens when we trap Mark Rooster in a room and force him to talk about movies for 3 hours? Well, this episode happens. Not much more to say here, to be honest. We start with stuff I feel like I missed talking about in 2023 and then we move onto 2024, just to catch up on everything. There’s some good, there’s some bad, and there’s some indifference from both of us and not just Mark. He has opinions, and you will hear them, I promise. No stories or reading this episode, just pure unadulterated movie criticism in lightning round nature. ENJOY.

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Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Eight: Welcome to The Backrooms

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
Follow: @cryo-chamber
Thank you!

“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

9 months ago

3 hours 38 minutes 35 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

So you’ve survived THE CUBE er- I mean, THE SQUARE (for copyright reasons) and you think you’re home free, right? No religious allegories, no last minute judgement calls that wastes all your time, just you, me, the boys, and some open road. WRONG. SO WRONG. The BACKROOMS surround us as we find our way through a mysterious facility. Just a moment ago the space we were in was trying to kill us at almost every doorstep, now it seems to be every single hallway. Luckily, the Backrooms have taken on a life of their own and our players today might find some useful help, and JUST MAYBE they’ll survive.

Welcome to the Backrooms(14:36)

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Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Seven: A Very Merry Pastas Part Twelve

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Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden:
CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage.
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“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership.
Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

10 months ago

4 hours 28 minutes 23 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

On the Twelfth creep of Christmas, Frowns gave to me… Depression. Seasonal depression, to be exact. Yes, this is the 12th Christmas episode we’ve had in the 8 years of having done this show and I feel like we’ve simultaneously

hit the low and the bar on this one. The low because TWELVE seriously? TWELVE Christmas episodes? God damn it. The bar because this one features a story that actually creeped me out a bit. What the heck was that? Where did that come from? Well, Frowns, it just goes to show, you can still be surprised every once in a while. What I’m not surprised about, however, is Frowns getting so high that he has a laughing fit. It was edibles this year, so you’re not going to hear the bong ripping with the yuletide bellows. No, we hit this one on the DL with some hearty edibles and apparently that was too much for Frowns. OH WELL. Some things never change. Hopefully we’ll be able to stop doing these Christmas episodes soon…

Stocking Stuffers (25:12) By Whitecrow233
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Stocking_Stuffers

The Company I Work for has a Wonderful Christmas Tradition (32:39) By CreepyThomas0.

https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Company_I_Work_for_Has_a_Wonderful_Christmas_Tradition

The Carolers (45:30) By MakRalston

https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Carolers

If You Hear Sleigh Bells (59:57) By Ramunetan

https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/If_You_Hear_Sleigh_Bells

The Naughty List (1:12:34) By RedNovaTyrant
https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/The_Naughty_List

The Strange Christmas Game (1:28:02) By Charlotte Riddell

https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Strange_Christmas_Game

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Episode Two Hundred Eighty-Six: McRibbed for your Pleasure

(But also available on all major platforms like iTunes, Spotify, Google, Amazon, etc!)

10 months ago

1 hour 46 minutes 31 seconds

Lotsa Pasta

What is a friend to do when the other suggests to do something against both of their better judgement? Do we give in to the based and peer accusations of what it means to be human, to be an animal with no regret? Or do we limit ourselves, our potential, and return, seamlessly to the void to live in silence? No, I mean, yeah, we read Harry Potter erotic fan-fiction on this episode. Definitely. When you come to the fork in the road to do THAT or do something else, I feel like the worse-off path is the path that doesn’t involve Harry Potter erotic fan-fiction, right? I don’t think it’s a tough call. I think it’s easier said than done, and above all else, I feel like we’re been here before. I feel a bit of… DEJA VU.

It Could Only Happen to Harry (31:30)

by HoosYourDaddy
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5446275/1/It-Could-Only-Happen-to-Harry

I Live in a Tiny Boring Town with a Famous Haunted House (1:17:57) by Spaghetti_Mercury
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/odwtco/i_live_in_a_tiny_boring_town_with_a_famous/

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