In this honest conversation, Carl and Laura Lentz rip open the facade of "perfect marriages" to expose the unspoken epidemic: couples who love each other but can't stand being in the same room. Drawing from their own marriage reconstruction after losing everything publicly, they reveal why "liking" your spouse is actually harder—and more important—than loving them. Carl shares the moment five years ago when Laura looked him in the eye and said "I hate you right now," while Laura opens up about how they went from tit-for-tat scorekeeping to becoming best friends who can't wait to get home to each other. They expose the comfortable lie that love alone keeps marriages together, when the brutal truth is: without "like," you're just roommates with rings. From the Ben Franklin marriage hack that rewires your brain to like your spouse again, to why Carl leaves hats scattered across the house like breadcrumbs and Laura just stopped caring, this episode demolishes the Instagram marriage fantasy. They reveal why successful couples make "reasonable concessions" (translation: accepting your spouse's annoying traits because you actually like them), how doing favors for someone literally changes your brain chemistry to like them more, and why Carl starts every single day texting Laura before checking anything else. The frame that changed everything: Love is a commitment you make once. Like is a choice you make daily. And if you're sitting there thinking "I love my spouse but..." while your partner's jokes don't make you laugh anymore and their presence feels like work, this conversation reveals the exact path back to actually enjoying the person you're building a life with. Warning: This episode will challenge couples who've accepted mediocrity as "just how marriage is" and may trigger those who use love as an excuse to avoid the harder work of actually liking their spouse. --- Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ --- CHAPTERS: 00:00 - "I Love You But I Don't Like You Right Now" 00:27 - Love Is Easy, Like Takes Work 01:14 - You Can't Fall Out of Love (You Just Stopped Thinking) 02:26 - The Week Everything Fell Apart 03:29 - Why Liking Each Other Saved Our Marriage 04:04 - From Fault-Finding to Beauty-Finding Glasses 10:00 - We're A Team: The Gift of Different Strengths 13:01 - Making Reasonable Concessions (Carl's Hat Trail) 16:49 - The Ben Franklin Marriage Hack 19:56 - Our Actions Shape Our Feelings 21:00 - Do Nice Things to Like Them (Not the Other Way Around) 23:02 - Laura's Text Reminders to Encourage Carl 25:03 - Carl's Daily Morning Text Ritual 26:20 - What Have I Done For Her Lately? 27:01 - Compassionate Curiosity Builds Connection 28:02 - Rupture, Repair, Build Cycle 30:38 - The Like Is What Makes Marriage Fun 31:43 - What Might I Discover About You Today? See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Have you ever looked at your relationship or your spouse and quietly wondered, did I settle? Most people think settling means picking the wrong person, but it usually means somebody has stopped growing. In this episode of Lights On, we make the case that settling starts in the mirror, not your marriage. We explore what settling really means, how to avoid it, and how to reignite the spark in your relationship. We discuss the importance of self-growth, curiosity, and novelty in keeping love alive. We also share practical challenges to help you and your partner reconnect and grow together. Featuring: Carl Lentz https://instagram.com/carllentz Laura Lentz https://instagram.com/lauralentz Chapters: 00:00 - Introduction: Did I Settle? 01:28 - The Danger of Unspoken Thoughts 03:05 - Do Women Settle More Than Men? 04:47 - Have You Stopped Surprising Each Other? 06:28 - Are You Being the Right Person? 07:30 - The 5-to-1 Ratio for a Thriving Relationship 09:03 - The Myth of the Perfect Partner 11:53 - The Importance of Novelty and Shared Goals 13:55 - The Power of Commitment 16:12 - What Settling Really Means 17:27 - Self-Care and its Impact on Your Relationship 21:30 - Did You Settle on You? 24:10 - Why Men Cheat: The Trap of Novelty 26:29 - The Four Horsemen of a Failing Marriage 28:01 - The Power of Micro-Surprises 32:35 - Redefining Intimacy 34:20 - How to Rebuild Intimacy 36:31 - Putting Your Marriage First 39:06 - Challenge 1: Consistent and Concrete Connection 41:21 - Challenge 2: Novelty Exploration A huge thank you for tuning in to Lights On. We believe that when you grow, your love grows. And when you shrink, love suffocates. Keep your lights on. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when one of the most influential pastors in America falls from grace? And what does redemption look like on the other side of scandal? As lead pastor of Hillsong Church NYC, I preached to thousands every Sunday, counseled celebrities and athletes, and became the face of a new generation of church leadership. Then, in November 2020, everything came crashing down. I was fired from Hillsong Church following revelations of moral failures and breaches of trust. What followed was a media firestorm—tabloid headlines, public shame, and the dismantling of everything I'd built over two decades of ministry. My marriage was on the brink. My reputation was destroyed. My calling was questioned. But this isn't just a story about a fall. It's a story about what comes after. In this conversation, I'm sitting down with my wife Laura, and our friends Mike and Natalie Todd from Transformation Church, to talk about everything. The scandal. The restoration process. The accountability. The pain our family endured. The friends who stayed. The critics who won't forgive. And the biggest question: Should I return to ministry? We're not avoiding the hard questions. We're talking about disqualification, forgiveness, celebrity pastor culture, what real restoration looks like, and whether someone who failed publicly can lead again. This is raw, unfiltered, and honest. Whether you believe in second chances or think some lines can't be uncrossed, this conversation matters. Because at the end of the day, we all mess up. The question is: what happens next? — — Featuring: Mike Todd https://instagram.com/iammiketodd Natalie Todd https://instagram.com/natalietodd Carl Lentz https://instagram.com/carllentz Laura Lentz https://instagram.com/lauralentz — Chapters: 00:00 - Introduction: First Time on Stage in 5 Years 04:10 - The Importance of Friends in the Fire 09:03 - The Night Everything Changed 14:30 - Why Mike & Natalie Stepped In When Everyone Else Left 24:20 - Laura Speaks: Walking Through Public Scandal 32:40 - The Biggest Mistakes We Made & What We'd Change 37:10 - How We Rebuilt Our Marriage After Everything Fell Apart 41:25 - The Celebrity Pastor Problem Nobody Talks About 45:30 - Lessons From the Fire: What We Learned in the Darkness 49:15 - Don't Wait Until Everything's Burning Down 52:56 - Be the Church Outside the Building 54:33 - When Friends Saved Mike: The Spit Hit the Fan Story 58:23 - Final Prayer: Friends Who Step Into the Fire — A huge thank you to Mike and Natalie Todd for creating the space for this conversation. Their friendship, grace, and willingness to step into the fire with us has been one of the greatest gifts of our lives. This is what real friendship looks like. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Want to submit questions? Email us at hello@carlandlaura.com! In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz sit down with 24-year-old Phoebe Enterman, founder of Plana - the app that's quietly solving America's adoption crisis. Moving from Brisbane, Australia to Las Vegas with nothing but conviction, Phoebe reveals the shocking truth: while 2 million couples desperately wait to adopt, less than 1% of unplanned pregnancies result in adoption. She exposes how both Planned Parenthood's structure and the pro-life movement's judgment have failed women who need real help, not politics. Laura and Phoebe dive deep into the reality facing women with unplanned pregnancies - from the 65% of Christian women who hide pregnancies from their church out of fear, to the Harvard study showing 80% of women reconsider abortion when fathers stay present. They demolish the myth that adoption isn't chosen due to lack of families (there are 36 waiting families for every adoptable infant) and reveal the real problem: women don't know adoption is even an option in the digital age. From Phoebe's personal story of why her grandmother's teenage pregnancy drives her mission, to Carl's explosive take on Christians who picket abortion clinics but won't pay a single mother's rent, this conversation transcends the tired abortion debate. They unveil how Plana's beautiful, wellness-focused app is replacing crisis-branded shame with actual solutions - connecting women to families, resources, education, and support all in one place. Warning: This episode challenges both pro-life advocates who stop caring after birth and pro-choice supporters who only offer one choice. If you're more invested in your political stance than actually helping women and babies, this conversation will make you uncomfortable. Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/  Supported by Plana - https://plana.org/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Opening: Beyond Politics to Real Solutions 04:20 - Meet Phoebe: Why a 24-Year-Old Left Australia for This Mission 08:26 - The Personal Story Behind Plana 12:07 - Carl's "What's Your Name?" Moment on The View 15:36 - Inside an Unplanned Pregnancy: What Women Really Face 22:51 - The Church Problem: 65% Hide in Shame 27:05 - The Adoption Mystery: Less Than 1% When Millions Wait 32:16 - Why Adoption Lost to Better Marketing 38:59 - How Plana Works: The App Tour 43:15 - Planned Parenthood's Business Model vs. Plana's Approach 48:33 - The Father Factor: 80% Reconsider When Men Stay 52:40 - A Call to Churches: Beyond Voting to Action 57:14 - How to Support: The $9 Movement See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When your husband's family enables his affair and makes you the villain, the betrayal cuts twice as deep. In this raw and essential episode, Carl and Laura Lentz tackle one of the most painful questions they've received: what do you do when your in-laws collude with the affair partner, feed them information, and blame you for the infidelity? Drawing from their own experience of distancing from family during recovery and counseling countless couples through ministry betrayal, they reveal why you don't owe anyone access to you during healing, how to take control of your narrative when everyone's telling a different story, and the exact boundaries you need to protect your recovery. Laura opens up about why they separated from Carl's family (not due to collusion, but for space to make decisions without outside opinions), while Carl exposes the insane pressure to control narratives in ministry contexts. They break down the brutal truth: if you're trying to help your in-laws grieve while you're still bleeding from betrayal, you're abandoning yourself. From wives being vilified by their husband's entire family to mothers developing relationships with affair partners, this conversation reveals why collusion is so common in ministry marriages and what to do about it. Plus: why Christian couples should stop being embarrassed about sex therapy, the difference between "fine" and "thrilling" intimacy, and how religious trauma keeps couples from having honest conversations about their sex lives. Whether you're the betrayed spouse dealing with toxic in-laws, trying to figure out if you should cut off family members who enabled infidelity, or wondering how to heal when everyone's against you, this episode gives you permission to disconnect from false narratives and reconnect with who you really are. Warning: This conversation challenges the evangelical pressure to "keep the peace" with family at all costs and may trigger those who've built their identity on being the peacemaker instead of protecting their own healing. Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ CHAPTERS: 00:00:00 - Lights On: Introduction and Birthday Banter 00:02:22 - Sex Therapy for Christian Couples: Breaking the Taboo 00:08:34 - Letters from Our Readers Introduction 00:09:31 - Today's Topics: Family Collusion After Infidelity 00:09:55 - Defining Collusion: What It Means 00:11:05 - Reading the Listener Letter: Mother-in-Law Enabled the Affair 00:13:18 - Laura's Story: Why We Distanced from Carl's Family 00:14:28 - Ministry Betrayal: Narrative Control is Insane 00:19:40 - Step 1: Change Your Position - You Don't Owe Anyone Access 00:20:20 - Forgiveness Does Not Mean Friendship 00:21:14 - Secure Safety First Before Any Reintegration 00:22:39 - Require Full Disclosure, Not Drip Disclosure 00:26:24 - You Get to Define All the Relationships 00:27:18 - Family Boundary Contract with Clear Repair Requirements 00:33:36 - Picking the Right Therapist: Why Betrayal Trauma Specialists Matter 00:35:56 - Step 4: Your Husband Needs to Step Up and Set the Story Straight 00:37:01 - When a Man Gets Married, He Starts His Own Family 00:39:27 - Protecting Your Children: Who Gets to Tell Them What Happened 00:42:16 - Integrity Example: The Phone Call Story 00:43:54 - Disconnecting from False Narratives About Yourself 00:45:15 - Final Thoughts: Take Control Back One Step at a Time See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this urgent wake-up call, Carl and Laura Lentz expose the silent epidemic destroying modern life: consumption addiction. Drawing from their own dramatic reconstruction after public crisis and counseling countless people stuck in endless scrolling, they reveal why being the last to know current events is actually a power move, how "mental obesity" is filling your mind with garbage you don't need, and why your brain's unemployment is forcing it to find the worst possible jobs. Carl shares why he lost an hour to a Nicholas Cage conspiracy theory and immediately knew something was wrong, while Laura opens up about blocking all consumption just to survive her darkest season. They break down the brutal truth: if you're busy consuming, you're avoiding creating your actual life. From couples escaping each other through ESPN and Pinterest to parents teaching their kids that presence means distraction, this episode exposes why creation is the only path to peace. They reveal the frame that changed everything: remove 30% of what you consume and watch your life transform. Whether you're a Karen policing hiking trails because you have nothing else going on, a virtue signaler who cares about issues for exactly one post, or someone comparing your life to people you don't even like, this conversation reveals why that phone in your hand might be the very thing keeping you stuck. Warning: This episode challenges the cultural addiction to having opinions on everything and may trigger those who've built their entire identity on commentary instead of creation. ---- Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ ---- CHAPTERS: 00:00 - The Quiet Revolution: Creation Over Consumption 01:42 - Why We're Always the Last to Know 03:04 - Mental Obesity Is Real 04:45 - Give Your Brain a Job or It Finds the Worst One 08:01 - Sobriety Isn't the Goal, Building Life Is 10:44 - Why Successful People Never Know What's Happening 13:19 - The Orchestra Story: Build Something Undeniable 15:01 - When Your Hands Are Free, Your Mind Fills It 18:29 - 77% of You Are Consuming Passively 21:08 - Identity Shift: Stop Being Who You Observe 24:57 - The IKEA Effect and Creation Reward 27:52 - Three Signs You're Over-Consuming 31:43 - Nobody Doing Better Than You Will Hate You 34:45 - Create Before You Consume Rule 37:27 - The Parent Phone Problem 40:03 - Collaborate With Your Spouse on Something Creative 42:43 - Carl's Rehab Painting Breakdown See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this crucial episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz provide a survival guide for women navigating the aftermath of betrayal. Drawing from their reconstruction journey and counseling hundreds of couples, they reveal the six essential steps every betrayed spouse needs to take immediately after discovering infidelity. Laura shares her own early choices - from refusing to weaponize shame despite having every right to, to her intensive identity work at OnSite that revealed she'd lost herself long before the affair. They expose the dangerous trap of trying to police your spouse's recovery while ignoring your own healing, why poorly trained therapists can do more harm than good, and the power move of creating firm boundaries with real consequences. From why separation isn't punishment but protection for your nervous system, to the surprising statistic that shame-based communication cuts reconciliation rates by 50%, this episode is required listening for any woman asking "What now?" after betrayal. Whether you're deciding to stay or go, these six steps ensure you're making that choice from strength, not trauma. Warning: This episode challenges the common advice to "just forgive and move on" and may trigger those invested in remaining victims of their circumstances. ---- Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ ---- Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ ---- CHAPTERS: 00:00 - What Every Betrayed Woman Needs To Know 01:10 - Our Email: hello@carlandlaura.com 03:12 - What She CAN'T Do (Stop Being A Shame Dealer) 05:22 - "Shame Corrodes The Part That Believes We Can Change" 08:06 - Why Shame Cuts Recovery Success By 50% 09:56 - Step 1: Get The RIGHT Therapist (Not All Are Equal) 11:12 - Warning: Bad Therapists Can Make Things Worse 16:45 - God Behind Bars Partnership 17:23 - Step 2: Create Separation For Your Nervous System 19:30 - "Safety Must Precede Intimacy" 22:51 - Step 3: Clear Expectations & Boundaries 27:26 - Step 4: Be Firm On Consequences 33:22 - Step 5: Invite Trusted Eyes & Ears 38:21 - Plana.org Partnership 38:59 - Step 6: Work On Yourself (The Game-Changer) 39:52 - "The Betrayed Partner Rebuilds Identity" 42:30 - Your Action Plan: Tangible Next Steps See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this raw and essential episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz delivers the uncomfortable truths every man needs to hear after betraying his marriage. Drawing from his own journey through infidelity and the reconstruction of his marriage with Laura, Carl breaks down the exact roadmap that works - and exposes what doesn't. From why you should embrace lie detector tests to the power of having zero secrets, zero private conversations, and zero contact with anyone who threatens your marriage, this episode is a masterclass in accountability. Carl reveals why forgiveness took Laura three years to give (and why he didn't need it to do the work), the 24-hour grace period they instituted for catching lies, and why your response to her triggers determines everything. He shares the canned response that saved him: "I hear you, I'm sorry, I'm not going anywhere." Whether you're dealing with a full disclosure, learning patience proportional to your years of deception, or understanding why "water under the bridge" is permanently off limits, this episode provides the blueprint for men serious about redemption. Warning: This episode will challenge men who want reconciliation without radical transparency and may trigger those still hiding behind privacy in marriage. Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/  Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ Chapters: 00:00 - Intro 00:49 - The Question Every Betrayer Asks 03:18 - What You CAN'T Do (Force, Heal, Convince) 05:44 - You're Not Looking For Forgiveness 08:01 - Laura: "It Took Me 3 Years To Forgive" 09:32 - The Full Disclosure Requirement 12:39 - Step 1: Be Honest About Everything 16:39 - The 24-Hour Grace Period For Lies 19:03 - Step 2: Zero Contact With The Qualifier 22:54 - God Behind Bars Partnership 28:41 - Step 3: No Private Conversations Ever 32:39 - Step 4: Patience With The Past (18-36 Months) 36:27 - Step 5: Extreme Grace When She's Triggered 39:55 - "I Hear You, I'm Sorry, I'm Not Going Anywhere" 42:07 - Plana.org Partnership 42:52 - Step 6: Live With Zero Secrets 49:27 - Why Lie Detectors Are Your Friend See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this brutally honest episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz expose the one factor sabotaging most couples' healing from infidelity: alcohol. Drawing from their own reconstruction journey and counseling countless couples through betrayal, they reveal why drinking delays recovery, blocks the exact brain functions needed to rebuild trust, and turns an already burning house into an inferno. Carl shares why he hasn't had a drink in over 2 years after realizing alcohol was filling the same void his addictions once did, while Laura opens up about how drinking amplified her triggers and suspicions. They break down the science: how alcohol reduces frontal lobe function (killing empathy and self-control), activates fight mode in your amygdala (making everything a threat), and blocks oxytocin (the bonding hormone you desperately need). From couples throwing punches after two drinks to the betrayed spouse pouring gasoline on their own fire, this episode exposes why any couple keeping alcohol in the picture struggles significantly more. Whether you're the betrayer numbing guilt or the betrayed drowning pain, this conversation reveals why that glass of wine might be the very thing keeping you stuck. Warning: This episode challenges the cultural norm that alcohol helps you "loosen up" and may trigger those committed to avoiding the real work of healing. ---- Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ ---- Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ ---- CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Why Alcohol Makes Healing Impossible 03:16 - The Truth: Betrayal Pain Never Fully Goes Away 05:47 - Why Couples Who Drink Struggle MORE 10:15 - Trading One Addiction For Another 14:36 - "I Lost Everything - Don't Take My Wine!" 21:47 - We Found ZERO Studies Showing Alcohol Helps 23:43 - Your Brain On Alcohol: The 3 Effects 24:44 - God Behind Bars Partnership 29:15 - When Drinking Leads To Physical Fights 35:34 - "Sit In Your Sh*t" - Rehab Wisdom 40:08 - "Alcohol Doesn't Help You Feel, It Helps You Rehearse" 43:51 - Plana.org Partnership 49:07 - Laura's Message To Women In Pain See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this brutally honest episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz sit down with James Sexton, one of America's most renowned divorce attorneys, for a conversation that could save your marriage. After 25 years representing high-profile divorces, James reveals the three guaranteed ways men destroy their marriages - and why 56% of all marriages end in his office. This isn't your typical relationship advice; it's a masterclass in reverse psychology from someone who's seen thousands of marriages collapse. James breaks down the death spiral that leads couples from "I do" to "I'm done," the shocking statistic that 86% of divorced people remarry within 5 years, and why most people love their choices more than their children. From the simple act of "seeing" your spouse to the dangerous habit of keeping score, this conversation exposes the patterns that predict divorce with startling accuracy. Whether you're newlyweds, struggling in your marriage, or simply want to understand what really makes relationships work, this episode delivers hard truths wrapped in hope. Carl and Laura share their own journey through infidelity and recovery, while James provides the roadmap to avoid becoming another statistic. Warning: This episode contains frank discussions about marriage failure, infidelity, and the kind of honest conversations most couples never have about what it really takes to stay together. Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ Follow James at: https://www.instagram.com/nycdivorcelawyer/ Supported by God Behind Bars - https://godbehindbars.com Supported by Plana - https://plana.org/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 - INTRO 02:08 - The Shocking Marriage Statistics Nobody Talks About 11:25 - The 3 Marriage Killers Every Couple Does 20:10 - God Behind Bars Partnership 20:47 - Stop Seeing Your Wife: The First Marriage Destroyer 26:41 - Frame Everything Critically: The Communication Killer 34:55 - Keep Score: The Transactional Marriage Trap 40:25 - Plana.org Partnership 41:06 - The Death Spiral: How Marriages Collapse Slowly, Then All at Once 49:23 - When Do You Feel Most Loved? Laura's Answer Will Surprise You 57:38 - Marriage as Ecosystem: Why It's Not About Fairness 1:04:50 - Who Gets Screwed Most in Divorce? The Uncomfortable Truth 1:09:32 - Rolling Your Eyes: The Silent Marriage Killer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this powerful episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz expose the brutal reality of living under constant criticism and reveal the mental framework that saved their sanity. For the first time, they share why they almost didn't start this podcast – paralyzed by fear of opinions – and how one harsh comment from a stranger about their vacation nearly derailed their confidence. Laura opens up about her unshakeable ability to see past cruel comments to the pain behind them, while Carl admits to DMing his haters (and why he stopped). They discuss the shocking science that your brain processes criticism like physical pain, why it takes 5 positive interactions to heal from 1 insult, and the "Access to Influence Filter" that changed everything. From the MLB player who wept on the field after an insult about his deceased mother to JK Rowling's 12 rejections before Harry Potter, this conversation reveals how the wrong feedback can imprison you while the right feedback can launch your destiny. Whether you're drowning in family criticism, paralyzed by social media comments, or trying to protect your kids from a harsh world, this episode offers the exact tools to stay soft-hearted without being destroyed. ---- Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ ---- Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ ---- CHAPTERS: 00:00 - The Science: Your Brain Treats Criticism Like Physical Pain 06:52 - Why We Almost Didn't Start This Podcast (Fear of Opinions) 10:21 - The Vacation Photo That Triggered 1000 Critics 15:31 - God Behind Bars Partnership 16:08 - "You're Not Soft, You're Human" - The MLB Player Who Broke Down 19:27 - The 5-to-1 Rule: Why Criticism Hits Harder Than Praise 24:15 - Laura's Superpower: Seeing Past Comments to Pain 29:33 - Plana.org: Help for the Unexpected 30:14 - The Access to Influence Filter (5 Questions That Changed Everything) 35:48 - JK Rowling's 12 Rejections & Pharrell's "Happy" Almost Never Happened 40:22 - "Don't Prepare Kids for YOUR Negative World" - The Parenting Truth 45:36 - Why Carl Used to DM His Haters (And What Made Him Stop) 50:18 - Building Boundaries: You Don't Have to Drink Every Opinion Offered 53:41 - The Final Truth: Critics in the Stands vs Players on the Field See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this raw and unprecedented episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down for an exclusive interview with Blaine Bartel, a former megachurch pastor who built one of America's largest youth ministries before losing everything due to a 23-year secret addiction. For the first time, Blaine opens up about the moment his double life was completely exposed, the "terrifying grace" that shattered his world in 24 hours, and the brutal honesty required to rebuild from absolute rock bottom. They discuss everything from the difference between recovery and resurrection, why churches abandon fallen pastors, and the uncomfortable truths about what really happens when ministry success collides with hidden shame. From the shock of losing his marriage and ministry to discovering what true freedom actually looks like, this conversation reveals how one man died to everything he was and found life again. Whether you're struggling with addiction, wondering if restoration is possible, or simply curious about what real redemption looks like, this interview offers hope without sugarcoating the cost. Warning: This episode contains discussions about sexual addiction, ministry failure, and the kind of honest conversations most people never have. --- Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Blaine at: https://blainebartell.com/ --- Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ --- CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Blaine's Background: From Ministry Success to 23-Year Secret 03:33 - "God Issued a Warrant for My Soul" - Complete Exposure in 24 Hours 05:09 - "You'll Never Get Free" - The Doctor's Devastating Prediction 06:45 - Recovery vs Resurrection: The Moment Everything Changed 08:20 - "Jesus Makes Dead People Alive" - True Heart Transformation 10:45 - Death Before Resurrection: Why the Cross Comes First 12:43 - Why Pastors Fall So Hard and the Problem of Quick Comebacks 17:34 - GOD BEHIND BARS PARTNERSHIP 18:18 - The Loneliest Moment: When Everyone Cuts You Off 24:28 - Carl's Story: Being Completely Shunned by Hillsong Church 30:41 - Why Churches Choose Brand Protection Over Restoration 36:14 - The Day They Finally Lifted Their Heads Again 39:16 - PLANA.ORG PARTNERSHIP 40:16 - Jesus Washing Feet: The Vision That Changed Everything 43:37 - Understanding Addiction: The Three Greatest Fears of Every Man 48:31 - Brain Chemistry vs Willpower: Why "Moral Failure" Misses the Point 52:38 - Sacred Rituals: Bridging the Gap Between Inspiration and Transformation 59:15 - Vision for the Man vs Vision for the Career: What Really Matters 1:02:48 - How to Safeguard Your Life: Full-Throated Confession and Community See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this powerful episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz share the three hard truths that saved their marriage and changed their lives. From owning 99% of your problems to confronting emotional illiteracy and the dangers of comfort, they dive deep into the inner work required for real transformation. With raw honesty, they unpack toxic mindsets, spiritual shortcuts, and why men must learn to name their emotions. If you're tired of excuses and ready for real change, this episode is your wake-up call.

In this raw and unprecedented episode of Lights On, Carl Lentz sits down for an exclusive interview with his wife Laura – the woman who chose to stay when 99.9% of people said she should leave. For the first time, Laura opens up about the moment that made her stay, the day-by-day survival strategy that saved their marriage, and the brutal honesty required to rebuild after betrayal. They discuss everything from losing their entire friend group to why Laura went to therapy for Carl's mistakes, and the uncomfortable truths about what really happens in intimate moments after infidelity. From the shock of discovering a hidden life to Christmas alone while Carl was in rehab, this conversation reveals how two people rebuilt from ground zero. Whether you're navigating betrayal, wondering if trust can be restored, or simply curious about what real redemption looks like, this interview offers hope without sugarcoating the cost. Warning: This episode contains discussions about infidelity, trauma, and the kind of honest conversations most couples never have. Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ CHAPTERS: 00:00 - "Why Didn't You Walk Out On Me?" The Opening Question 02:02 - The Phone Call That Changed Everything: Carl's Childhood Trauma Revealed 05:04 - "One Day at a Time" - The Marriage Contract That Saved Us 09:01 - When Laura Reads the DMs (And Why Carl Has to Leave) 10:47 - The Brad Pitt Test: Would She Have Left? 11:53 - God Behind Bars Partnership 12:30 - Losing Our Church: The Friends Who Never Called 15:31 - How Laura Relearned Her Intuition After Betrayal 17:01 - The Beach Conversation That Sent Carl to Rehab 18:49 - Christmas Alone: When Healing Meant Separation 20:55 - "Laura Must Have Known" - Addressing the Cheap Shots 24:41 - Why "Biblical" Advice Almost Destroyed Us 30:13 - Plana.org: Help for the Unexpected 30:54 - The Friends We Lost (And Why It Feels Good Now) 38:42 - "Do You Worry I'll Cheat Again?" The Hard Question 42:11 - What She Really Thinks During Romantic Moments 45:23 - Euphoric Recall: The Addiction Truth Nobody Talks About 48:27 - Why Brutal Honesty Builds More Trust Than Perfect Answers 50:22 - The People Who Judge the Loudest Hide the Most 53:29 - Open Marriages, Honesty & Why Context Matters See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this deeply personal episode of Lights On, a father sits down with his wife Laura and daughter to reveal the unconventional family culture that has their kids choosing couch time over parties. They dive into the "corny" traditions that actually work, why confrontation leads to clarity, and how making awkward topics conversational changed everything. From discussing porn at the dinner table to the "no snitch" rule they completely reject, this family shares raw insights on raising emotionally intelligent kids who actually want to be home. Whether you're struggling to connect with your teenagers or wondering why family dinners matter, this conversation offers practical wisdom mixed with laugh-out-loud moments and surprising tears. Warning: This episode might challenge everything you think you know about "appropriate" family conversations. 00:00 - Family Culture & Why Our Kids Choose Us Over Parties (Intro) 00:53 - Summer Jobs, Stripper Poles & Love Island Drama 04:30 - The Father's Day Dinner That Changed Everything 11:10 - Why "Corny" Family Traditions Actually Work 20:47 - How Close Families Can Be Annoying (The Warning) 21:47 - God Behind Bars Partnership 22:23 - Confrontation Creates Clarity: Our Family Rules 31:02 - The Power of Family Dinners (Harvard Study) 40:30 - Breaking the "No Snitch" Culture 44:41 - Plana.org: Help for the Unexpected 45:23 - Why We Talk About P*rn at the Dinner Table Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/ Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/ Supported by God Behind Bars https://godbehindbars.com Supported by Plana https://plana.org/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Carl and Laura Lentz share what healing really looks like after 4.5 years of therapy. They discuss how growth involves failure, conflict, and consistency, and why outside support is key. This episode offers an honest look at how lasting change comes not from perfection, but from committing to the hard work of transformation.

In this episode, Carl and Laura Lentz reveal the 3-stage healing framework that saved their marriage after infidelity and public scandal. Discover why most people never truly heal from breakdown because they skip the discovery phase, try to heal while sprinting through life, and focus on cleaning up "leaves" instead of healing the root system. Carl shares his transformative experience at Onsite therapy and why being sorry you got caught is completely different from being sorry you made destructive choices. Laura breaks down why 60-75% of couples survive infidelity when they commit to intentional repair work and how removing shame from broken commitments becomes the key to rebuilding trust. This isn't about saving face - it's about transforming the person you're becoming so you never have to repeat these patterns again. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, executive coach Janet Breitenbach reveals the integrity framework that's transforming high performers and why most people unknowingly sabotage their success. Discover the shocking difference between moral integrity and workability integrity, and learn why doing what you say you're going to do by when you say you're going to do it is the secret to unlocking your potential. Janet breaks down the survival needs keeping you stuck (look good, feel good, be right, be in control) and introduces the game-changing "Be, Do, Have" framework that flips traditional goal-setting on its head. Carl shares vulnerable stories about his own integrity struggles in ministry and how this work radically transformed his leadership. This isn't theory - it's battle-tested wisdom that will help you stop playing small and start creating the life you actually want. Follow Janet at: https://www.instagram.com/janet.breitenbach/ Learn more about Novus Global: https://novus.global  Take the Accomplish the Impossible Assessment: mpassessment.scoreapp.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz dive deep into what it really means to listen. From miscommunication in marriage to growing through silence, they share personal stories about learning to hear each other—without judgment, defense, or distraction. If you’ve ever struggled to truly listen—or felt unheard—this one’s for you. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Carl and Laura Lentz break down the hidden patterns that sabotage relationships and share the key questions every couple should ask before committing.