In this conversation, I discusses the complexities of emotional abuse and its long-lasting effects on individuals. I am choosing to emphasize that there are no truly good days in emotionally abusive relationships, as the perceived good days are often manipulated by the abuser to control the victim's feelings and reactions. I explain the difference between emotions and feelings, and how emotional abusers use language and behavior to distort their victims' perceptions of their own feelings, leading to confusion and dependency.
Listener question: My former has turning himself into the victim & it seems to be getting worse as negotiations move forward.
As I share more & more of my personal journey of healing, I see how even the everyday events, the ups and downs of just normal life have been affected by my past. Today, I am telling you a story & discussing the importance of understanding one's reactions and the impact of past experiences on current behaviors. Through an upsetting but non emergency life event, a flood in my basement, I reflect on the lessons I have learned about loss, change, and personal empowerment. The self growth is becoming so much more evident, even in the little things. The importance of making my own decisions, finding strength in adversity, & seeing the reason bad stuff sometimes happens, has given me a confident feeling of both self acceptance & inner peace.
In episode #243 I reminded you that YOU are the one that decides who in your life is healthy for your wellbeing and who may not be so healthy for you. In this episode I take it one more step, let's explore why it is confusing and why your mind becomes clouded when looking at your relationships.
Toxic relationships are complex and because of that you seek validation as you begin recognizing unhealthy behaviors.
Part of the reason you are seeking such validation is because the traits of toxic personalities become "normal" to you as you spend each day within the cycle. Let's jsut take one of the many traits that I teach today and expand on it a bit.
Self-centeredness is a trait of many toxic personalities, and the impact that can have on those around them can lead to low self-worth and compromised emotional health.
I encourages you to reflect on your behavior & patterns too as they may be adaptive to avoid conflict or confrontation within the relationship you are seeking validation for.
If you are wanting to know more, you are in luck, I cover all the toxic traits and how you may have adapted to them within my "Freedom...Me!" Program. Application for this program is on my website found below.
https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/
In this episode, I reflect on my personal journey towards peace and self-acceptance after years of navigating the long term effects of my toxic relationships. I share my experiences of anxiety and stress related to vacations and how my perspective has shifted over time. Through self-awareness and understanding of my past, I now know the importance of prioritizing myself and recognizing the value of my personal growth. My overall mission has always been to educate others on the inner workings of toxic relationships but now, as I have personally learned, it is also about understanding ourselves and how the toxic relationships may have changed us.
Do Not Skip Over this Short Episode!
As you find yourself listening to my podcasts, knowing I've been where you are, be reminded of the one thing we miss in seeking validation of our situations.
This is the most important thing I will teach. It is the most important thing for you to learn, grasp, accept, and act upon if you are seeking inner peace.
In this conversation, I explore the complexities of emotional wiring and how it affects relationships, particularly with toxic personalities. The importance of understanding different personality types to navigate your future decisions effectively is imperative. Your relationship will remain confusing causing self doubt until you know them as well as you know yourself.
Announcing the "You've Got To Be Kidding Me - Validation Session is now open to all who are seeking to find answers to why "they can't just act normal". The validation session, aims to provide clarity and insight for individuals struggling in their relationships, helping them to recognize their worth and make informed decisions about their future.
More information about the Validation Session can be found on my Website: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/
Use VIP Listener's Code at the time of check out for $50 off the 3 hour Validation session. INNITVAL
As I celebrate yet another year of life & reflect on my growth journey, I particularly want to celebrate the understanding and managing my own emotions. In the context of toxic relationships having and owning your own feelings is very difficult to do. The impact of emotional control by others was very significant in my life, even long after the toxic relationship had ended. The full understanding of emotional abuse, and the importance of taking control of one's feelings is true freedom. I cannot emphasize enough the significance of naming your feelings/emotions, setting boundaries, and recognizing your right to emotional freedom.
The conversation serves as a challenge and guide for listeners to reclaim their emotional independence and navigate their feelings authentically.
Visit me at: https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/
See the options for us to work together.!
You have been there, you probably still are. When you get a message you "feel" the need to respond no matter what the message says. You have learned that by responding quickly, in a way they will get what they want you have been able to keep the peace better than if you delay your response or do not respond.
Here are a few tips on knowing if a message even needs a response, & how to respond if it does.
For more information about becoming an exclusive client with guidance through the process of changing the way you interact with them visit my website.
https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/freedom-me-exclusive-private-coaching
A great explanation from one of my exclusive clients.
Welcome to yet another “New Year”
I remember when I was in an unhealthy marriage each time the "New Year" came around and 'Old Year" passed my world became smaller & my outlook became more and more hopeless
All I could see was my life. Ug! It was nothing to reflect on. All the wasted years just scrolling by and me not having a say or remembering any of it. Now I knew I should have been grateful, I should have been able to embrace my "all my blessings". I was just way too deep in it to really know why, I was frustrated because I did not, in the past or presently do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING to change my situation, and frankly I was too exhausted to think about the mountain I would need to climb in order to make a change.
MY VIEW OF THE "F...ING NEW YEAR" HAS CHANGED SIGNIFICANTLY!
If you or someone you know is experiencing emotional, verbal, or mental abuse.... please share my podcast. You may change someone's life.
https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/
No one wakes up one morning and thinks... "That's it, I need a coach!" Rather you wake up and immediately start solving the problems that are already surfacing and its not even 8:00am.
I needed someone to understand and meet me for daily discussions on the problems of the day so I could come away with a solution and a skill that I could use the next time it happened. I would have NEVER thought about hiring a coach, mentor, or guide. Well even though I am a coach, I give you just what I mentioned above, answers and strategies for you to handle today's crisis, and tomorrow's crisis and understand why things are happening that you yourself do not understand.
I did not realize that so many knew about this podcast but did not know about my work. Here is a little insight to what I can offer, and aside from the name, it is NOT coaching, it is listening, solving, and working with you and your unique situation. I did not choose this mission this mission chose me so "selling" does not come easy. One asked me one day, "Why are you not telling EVERYONE what you do? You have paid dearly for the gift you have so get out there and let people know you have it!"
Your goals are not to life a life of peace (well maybe ultimately) your goal is to get through today. That is what I can do for you, leaving you with the ability and skills to do it too. It's about baby steps and stacking them up. It's about one fear at a time and doing it together.
If you are interested in knowing more about Freedom...Me! my exclusive client program, use this link.
https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/freedom-me-exclusive-private-coaching
In my search to find a gratitude practice that fit me and my personality I ran across something I did not realize had been happening. In the years I spent in a toxic relationship I was always positive, people told me so, but was I? Turns out I was using "toxic positivity" to trick myself into being grateful for very very negative things. The article that was most helpful to me in my research was written by Ashley Laderer. HOW TO MAKE A GRATITUDE PRACTICE THAT DOES NOT FEEL LIKE TOXIC POSITIVITY - Stop Looking At The Bright Side. (find article here:
https://www.wondermind.com/article/gratitude-meaning/
Reflecting on this, and knowing how I was altered by survival mode I have been able to see how I was tricking myself and thus altered my reality of how unhealthy the relationship truly was for me. I encourage a healthy and healing gratitude practice for everyone.
The Holidays are not always something to look forward to. Let's discuss the complexities of dealing with toxic personalities during the holiday season. These individuals often seek control, power over others as well as attention, and admiration from others, particularly during a time when the focus is on joy and connection. Here are a few insights into the behaviors you can more than likely expect to see from toxic individuals this holiday season. It is important to understand these dynamics in order to navigate the upcoming weeks. You do not have to take it upon yourself to fix, change or cancel your plans nor your joy in an attempt to appease their inconsistent, unpredictable behaviors.
A big WELCOME BACK, Dr. Heidi reflects on her personal journey both past and present of growth and transformation. Finding she was still at times feeling the long term effects of her past relationship, she plans on moving her business forward emphasizing the importance of authenticity and vulnerability. She shares her surprize realization concerning emotional abuse and the long-term effects it has had on her life. It has opened her eyes and enhanced her commitment to helping others navigate similar challenges. Dr. Heidi introduces her new persona, the Transparent Dr. Heidi, who prioritizes connection and self-care over perfection. She discusses her recent certification in neurosomatic intelligence and how it will enhance her ability to support her clients. She thanks you for your patience as yet another portion of her journey was unfolding.
In this tidbit Dr Heidi shares briefly her personal journey of healing through her training in Neurosomatic Intelligence, which has transformed her understanding of how the long term effects of emotional and psychological abuse has impacted her personal life. Dr. Heidi also announces the closure of her Facebook support group, 'Strength Within,' explaining the reasons behind this decision and emphasizing her commitment to guiding individuals towards healing and freedom.
Dr. Heidi explains how each toxic person is not the same in the level of severity. In the more extreme toxic relationships threats will be different than with a less extreme personality. Focusing on the nature of threats used by toxic individuals to manipulate and control others you must take into account that some will indeed turn into action. She shares personal experiences and insights on how fear and guilt can trap individuals in unhealthy dynamics, emphasizing the importance of recognizing these patterns and seeking support even when fearful. The conversation encourages listeners to evaluate their relationships and understand that they deserve to feel safe and healthy.
A single puzzle piece does not make any sense if it is all by itself.
But when you put that puzzle piece with other pieces things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense it is not until you have all the pieces connected that the bigger picture finally emerges.
One behavior by a toxic person may not make sense to you, but when you put that behavior with others, things begin to fit together and start making a little more sense.
It is my hope to help you connect all of these pieces so the bigger picture of what you are actually dealing with in your relationships begins to emerge.
Toxic tidbits are an addition to my well known podcast Its not normal, it’s toxic.
Toxic tidbits may be my thoughts
Questions from clients or listeners.
Quotes that I find helpful
Any little thing that crosses my path that I believe may be helpful for you on your path.
For additional information on how Dr Heidi supports in freeing yourself from the toxic relationships
in your life, go to :
https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/
You will find all the services she provides to help you move forward no matter where you are right now.
