Talking about flirting and creepiness with men can be challenging sometimes. I’ve heard folks literally say you can’t even flirt anymore because it could lead to negative consequences. Today, I’m going to chat about the difference between flirting and creepiness. Spoilers: it’s all about the dynamic between two people, not about what one person is communicating.
Our guest today is Andre Lazarus, an Intimacy and Sex coach, a Surrogate Partner, and a Sacred Intimate with over 10 years of experience in non monogamy. His new project is the Open to More: How to Navigate Consensual Non-monogamy course at https://coming-closer.com/. You can find him @comingcloserwithandre on social media. Now let’s talk about fragility, defensiveness, and creepiness - and best of all, how to do your best to avoid them and channel accountability, consent, and nurturance here on Intimate Interactions.
Today I’m interviewing Roy Biancalana, a 62 year old white guy who was once a TV analyst from Florida. I know you’re probably not sure where this is going - usually when someone says man from Florida, you’re expecting to to be like a “man from Alberta” story but bigger, crazier, Americaner. In this case, I’m interviewing a Chicago-based relationship coach of 15 years who self-describes as having made almost every relationship mistake a cis heterosexual man can make.
This episode we’ll get to know each other a little and talk about accountability.
Site: https://coachingwithroy.com/
Book: Relationship Bootcamp
Podcast: The Attracting, Lasting Love Podcast
Mahima is back to talk about daily practices and consistency. Many of us say we want to be disciplined, but she uses the word “blissiplined” in that discipline need not be an onerous task or strife. She’ll discuss the importance of a community and the culture they embody and model for you. We’ll touch on the importance of play in making daily practices compelling. Finally, content warning for the word “tribe” to mean a small community of non indigneous people forming close relationships.
Resources
Simon Sinec - Start with Why
It won't change unless you do
Done w feeling busy with this story
Atomic habits
The obstacle is the way
Grit by Duckworth
Keep Sharp by Sanjay Gupta
Psilocybin containing mushrooms are increasingly in research publications these days. In February 2022, Johns Hopkins published a follow up study suggesting the anti-depressant effects of psilocybin-assisted psychotherapy for those with Major Depressive Disorder may last at least a year for some patients, see show notes for the study.
Today we’ll be talking with Susannah Rose Stokes about metamorphosis and transformation. Our conversation will wander from sacred sexuality to church culture, from bdsm culture and brat identities back to sexuality and threesomes. And of course, we’ll talk about mushrooms from microdoses to hero doses. I’ll even share a recent mishap involving my first experience with Costa Rican mushrooms. Enjoy.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/02698811211073759
https://www.instagram.com/susannahroses/?hl=en
https://www.linkedin.com/in/golden-rule-leadership
https://opentomore.mykajabi.com/ (Open to More course)
Today we’re talking with Andre Lazarus, an Intimacy and Sex coach with over 10 years of experience in non monogamy. His new project is the Open to More: How to Navigate Consensual Non-monogamy course at https://coming-closer.com/. You can find him @comingcloserwithandre on social media. Now, let’s chat about intimate things we can do with our partners that don’t involve penetration. For those of you who love penetration, note that these exercises might improve intimacy and through that, improve the quality of the penetrative sex you have later on. Your mileage may vary, but either way good luck!
Resources
We talk about indie intimacy po0rn and I refer to https://Afourchamberedheart.com
Robin Beatch, the Sex Positive, Lifestyle Inclusive Talk Radio host from SPLIT Radio will join us today. You can follow Robin @sexwithrobin on instagram. Robin is a queer, non monogamous sex educator, coach, consultant, former stripper, former nurse, pro domme, and parent of two. Juniper, my only ever one night stand, is also back to add her positive, fun self to the mix.
Never Have I Ever is a party game where we try to find things we haven’t done that the others have done.
Today we’ll be talking about shitting our pants, recording ourselves having sex, and faking orgasms. You can find the audio recordings of people getting off here at Sounds of Pleasure dot Tumblr dot com.
Mahima is back, the woman who grew up in apartheid Zimbabwe and now introduces herself as Europe’s number one self mastry expert. Today we’ll talk about her journey through love and intimacy from 26 where she meets a new man precipitating a spiritual awakening. We talk about dancing with shadow energy for your whole life and giving much less of a fuck since turning 21. Content warnings for body image and weight loss. Don’t worry, we’ll end on a body positive note and giving far less of a fuck.
Today we’re talking about sexual surrogacy: what is it, who does it, how does it work, and is it sex work. Andre Lazarus, a Surrogate Partner and Sacred Intimate himself with over 10 years of experience in non monogamy, joins us to give us the goods. His new project is the Open to More: How to Navigate Consensual Non-monogamy course at https://coming-closer.com/. You can find him @comingcloserwithandre on social media.
Resources
IPSA (International Professional Surrogacy Association)
We’re back with At Least Twice Have I Ever with Melody Anne from Erotic Education with Melody Anne, and Ms. Sara Blaze, a woman of many identities from mom to conference organizer to dominatrix.
Twice Have I Ever is a party game where we try to pick something we’ve done at least twice that the others have not done.
Today, we’ll talk about being choked out during sex, recording porn, having group sex, and lots more!
Sacred Sexuality is a simple idea and sometimes a convoluted topic. Susannah Rose is back today to talk about how intimacy and relationships are shaped by our culture and origin story: monogamy, religion, military service, bdsm, and lots more. We’ll talk a bit about unicorn fostering, distinguish between bottoms and subs in bdsm, and talk about designing relationships. It’s going to be fun!
https://www.instagram.com/susannahroses/?hl=en
https://www.linkedin.com/in/golden-rule-leadership
https://opentomore.mykajabi.com/ (Open to More course)
I’m excited to introduce my guest today, Mahima. She grew up in apartheid zimbabwe, married a swiss man at 21, divorced at 22, and is focused on cultivating peace, connection to self, to soul, and to sexual expression. Content warning for abuse, racism, body image, weight loss, self loathing, and apartheid. If I had to sum Mahima up in two words, it would be “love yourself.” Let’s go to the session.
Robin Beatch, the Sex Positive, Lifestyle Inclusive Talk Radio host from SPLIT Radio will join us today. You can follow Robin @sexwithrobin on instagram. Robin is a queer, non monogamous sex educator, coach, consultant, former stripper, former nurse, pro domme, and parent of two. Juniper, my only ever one night stand, is also back to add her positive, fun self to the mix.
Never Have I Ever is a party game where we try to find things we haven’t done that the others have done.
Today we’ll be talking about fisting someone, having sex with someone twice your age, and having sex in a bathroom.
Today we’re talking about expectations around strength, support, and staying composed. Join myself and Andre Lazarus as we chat about open communication, masculinity, and non monogamy. Andre is an Intimacy and Sex coach, a Surrogate Partner, and a Sacred Intimate with over 10 years of experience in non monogamy. His new project is the Open to More: How to Navigate Consensual Non-monogamy course at https://coming-closer.com/. You can find him @coming closerwithandre on social media.
Susannah Rose is with us today to chat about intimacy. An interesting twist today is that she’s completed combat tours in Afghanistan and I convinced her to talk a bit about the stresses she experienced while serving and the way intimacy functions in military hierarchy both between officers and among ranks. Content warnings: the 2012 Bastion Leatherneck attack comes up as well as some discussion of misogyny. It’s a special session today with Susannah Rose. Enjoy!
We’re back with Would You Rather. Our panel today is Melody Anne from Erotic Education with Melody Anne, and Ms. Sara Blaze, a woman of many identities from mom to conference organizer to dominatrix.
Would You Rather is a party game where we ask the other players to choose between two highly desirable or two highly undesirable outcomes or sometimes just between two really different outcomes to get to know each other better.
Today, we’ll ask if we’d rather face a robot or zombie apocalypse, eat a beloved pet or get eaten by said pet, and lots more! Enjoy!
Today we talk about internalised judgement and internalised patriarchy. We talk about divorce and blame. We circle back to Yin and Yang and all things containing their opposites. True receiving is discussed as considering the whole person meaning you must also be receptive to yourself receiving. We talk about pain and pleasure in the context of Yin and Yang.
Content warnings for trauma, crisis, gender binary stuff, heterosexual stuff, and I suppose woo in the form of traditional chinese medicine. If you’re science-minded, I encourage you to try listening to woo content as reasoning behind why something works based in allegory or metaphor rather than empirical reasoning. Not my usual content but I appreciate being outside of my comfort zone and stretching to think in ways I don’t usually choose.
Check out Winnie’s free community, paid course, and shadow work book at https://mindfulhealingheart.com. Now let’s go to the session with Winnie here on Intimate Interactions.
Dr. Joli Hamilton is back yet again to share her wisdom. Today we’ll be talking about plastic psyches and healing attachment injury. She talks about why she studies jealousy how she does. We do a quick call in about sex vs gender language and talk about why she labels her research how she does.
You can check out Dr. Hamilton’s TedX talk or visit https://jolihamilton.com for more.
We’re back with Never Have I Ever with Melody Anne from Erotic Education with Melody Anne, and Ms. Sara Blaze, a woman of many identities from mom to conference organizer to dominatrix.
Never Have I Ever is a party game where we try to find things we haven’t done that the others have done.
Today, we’ll ask about hook ups, sex while wearing a mask, and much more!
Alexandra Harbushka is back! After creating the Life with Herpes community to help anyone from suffering the way she did for any longer than absolutely necessary, she went on to create herpes wellness products and to offer 1-on-1 coaching for folks newly positive with herpes. Here we talk about meaningful steps for destigmatizing herpes infection such as how to prevent outbreaks. For more, check out Alexandra’s site, lifewithherpes.com.
Again, as a side note, there are always medical exceptions where any infection can be particularly severe or painful. While these are the exception and not the rule, it’s important we don’t erase the real suffering that some herpes sufferers experience even if they are not the norm. There are also treatments now like valcyclovir for those with frequent outbreaks to reduce outbreaks, pain, and transmission. Now let’s get into the content with Alexandra Harbushka here on Intimate Interactions.
What is self resourcing? Who has an easier time with compersion? Does your community moralize compersion or shame jealousy? Is it healthy to have banned emotions that you can’t talk about in your relationship?
You probably know most of these answers, but what about strategies? Dr. Joli Hamilton suggests practising compersion and managing jealousy on smaller, easier situations and then working up to harder ones. I’m always happy to have Dr. Hamilton on the show. I love her content and can’t wait to share more of it with you here on Intimate Interactions.