In this episode, we open Season Two of The Cave and the Fire with a sacred story of grief, love, and letting go.

Jeffrey Batstone joins host Ned Abenroth to reflect on the passing of his mother—and how her death became a deeply embodied experience of ceremony, beauty, and presence. From washing and anointing her body to laying her in flowers and witnessing her cremation, Jeffrey shares how his family chose to meet death not with distance, but with reverence.

Together, they explore:
• How ritual makes space for grief, presence, and praise
• What it means to honor the body as sacred, even in death
• Why ceremony doesn’t need to be scripted to be holy
• How Illuman’s journey with masculine spirituality opens us to deeper thresholds

There are no lessons in this episode—no analysis or instruction. Just one man’s tender story, told around the fire.

🔸 A story of loss, love, and the quiet beauty of ritual
🔸 An invitation to let your own grief become ceremony

Learn more about Illuman and our work: ⁠https://illuman.org⁠
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Content Warning. The following program covers sensitive subjects including suicidal ideation and self harm. Listener discretion is advised.

In this raw and deeply moving episode, Dean—an Illuman brother, father, and 12-step leader—shares the story of his long road from trauma, addiction, and abandonment to healing, sobriety, and sacred presence.

With honesty and depth, Dean opens up about:

• The early wound of feeling unlovable and unseen

• Years of living on the streets and the survival culture he found there

• His descent into addiction—and the unexpected ways that voice, wilderness, and ravens led him toward healing

• The power of the Men’s Rites of Passage in breaking open his heart

• Why inner work is sometimes harder than three years in the wild

• The importance of connection, community, and contemplative presence in recovery

This conversation holds both the brutal realities of life on the margins and the sacred invitations that arise when we finally stop running. Dean reminds us: the pain we do not transform, we will transmit. But when we do the work—real work—we begin to transmit light.

🔸 A story of surrender, sobriety, and sacred masculinity.
🔸 An invitation to listen, grieve, and become more fully alive.

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Learn more about Illuman and our work: https://illuman.org
Explore the Illuman 12-Step Circle: https://www.illuman.org/online-programs
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In this powerful and tender conversation, Markku Kostamo—a nonprofit leader, mental health advocate, and Illuman brother from British Columbia—shares his journey through mental illness, grief, and recovery, and how the Men’s Rites of Passage offered him a path toward deeper healing and belovedness.

With host Ned Abenroth, Markku reflects on:
• Living with bipolar disorder and the layered work of recovery

• Discovering his core wound and the healing power of ritual• The unspoken grief many men carry—and how it becomes sacred

• Why nature, brotherhood, and descent are essential to the masculine path

• How ancestral trauma and mental health are woven through our stories

With honesty, grace, and grounded insight, Markku invites us into a spacious conversation about what it means to be fully human, fully wounded, and fully loved.

🔸 A story of descent, mental health, and the sacred masculine.

🔸 An invitation to show up with your whole self—and be held.

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Learn more about Illuman and our work: ⁠https://illuman.org
Subscribe to stay rooted in the fire.

#TheCaveAndTheFire #MensWork #MasculineSpirituality #MentalHealth #SacredMasculine #Grief #Belovedness #MensRites #Recovery #Council #JourneyOfIllumination #BipolarDisorder #HealingInCommunity #InnerWorkThatMatters

In this conversation, T. Michael Rock, a pastor, community builder, and leader from the Twin Cities, shares his journey from performing to embracing vulnerability and authenticity. T. Michael reflects on his path of self-discovery, the lessons learned through the Men’s Rites of Passage, and the deep healing he found within the Illuman community.

Together with host Ned Abenroth, T. Michael explores:

• The evolution of masculinity and the ongoing cultural conversation around it

• The power of showing up for others in community and the profound effect of repeated commitment

• How embracing both masculine and feminine energies can create a more integrated self

• The journey of love, restoration, and grace in the context of personal growth and masculinity

Join T. Michael as he shares how a life of service, love, and authentic connection has shaped him, and how these principles are guiding a new generation of men toward wholeness.

🔸 A story of healing, vulnerability, and the beauty of masculine love.
🔸 An invitation to embrace your full self and show up, just as you are.

#Illuman #MasculineSpirituality #MensWork #Restoration #Grace #Belovedness #Authenticity #MensRites #Healing #InnerWorkThatMatters #JourneyOfIllumination

What does it mean to be a man shaped by both power and tenderness?

In this wide-ranging and deeply personal conversation, Brazilian-born theologian Gustavo Santos shares his journey from the boardrooms of São Paulo to the forests of British Columbia—and from performative success to a deeper encounter with the Divine.

Together, Gustavo and host Ned Abenroth explore:
• The cultural shape of masculinity in Brazil and North America
• The healing power of Council and the Men’s Rites of Passage
• How ancestral wounds and blessings shape identity
• What it means to lead with “a strong kindness”

With candor and grace, Gustavo reflects on finding a home in his own story, and discovering that belonging isn’t earned—it’s inherited.

🔸 A story of migration, masculinity, and mystery.
🔸 An invitation to drop the masks and show up, just as you are.

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Learn more about Illuman and our work: https://illuman.org
Subscribe to stay rooted in the fire.

#TheCaveAndTheFire #MensWork #Illuman #Belovedness #InnerWorkThatMatters #MasculineSpirituality #Ancestry #Council #MensRites #JourneyOfIllumination

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In this moving conversation, we sit down with Matthew Lyda—a brother within the Illuman community whose fierce tenderness and grounded presence invite others into deeper authenticity. At just 39, Matthew brings a rare self-awareness, offering reflections on his Men’s Rites of Passage, the unspoken grief many young men carry, and the sacred call to heal.

Together, we explore the contours of masculinity today—its distortions and its potential. From flaccid strength to the archetypal boundaries of Gandalf, from deep male friendship to interfaith wonder, Matthew reflects on what it means to live from belovedness in a fractured world. We also delve into how the Journey of Illumination, Council Circles, and Illuman’s interspiritual community have shaped his path and leadership.

Whether you’re a seasoned elder or a young man awakening to your own story, this episode is a soulful offering of grief, play, presence, and hope. Tune in to hear how the sacred masculine is not about dominance or denial, but about integration, service, and love.

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 These are crazy times, and so much of what we assumed we knew seems to be up for grabs. In the midst of it all, men are struggling. From one side, there's a lot of anger, even hatred of men, which perhaps is understandable, but isn't helping anything. And from the other side, what it means to be a man is taking a huge step back to authoritarian ways of being.

The generative masculinity we saw in patriarchs such as Martin Luther King, Desmond Tutu, Jackie Robinson, Lincoln, Washington, Merton, Einstein, Thich Nhat Hanh, Gandhi, Francis, Jesus, those kinds of men seem in short supply today. And their brands of masculinity would be questioned by today's male role models who emphasize domination as the quintessential quality of manhood.

But in the midst of this, there are islands of sanity. Illuman is one such place. Illuman is a global community of men who are courageously forging more generative ways of being men. We might never read their names in the news, but these anonymous heroes are the kinds of men the world needs in a time such as this.

Join me as I talk with remarkable guys. Men from Russia, Brazil, India, Canada, Central America, Europe, and the U. S. Men from the Bible Belt to the left coast. Young and old. Of multiple religious and ethnic backgrounds. Men. Who are all stepping deeper into life in a way that blesses and sustains life for everybody else.

What is it about this community, what makes Illuman a place that man after man finds so enlivening? My name is Ned. Join me.