There’s a kind of love that makes you feel seen—and another kind that makes you want to hide.This episode is about that second kind.The one that sees through your armor, the one that knows when you’re pretending to be okay. The kind that doesn’t look away.When we say we want intimacy, what we often mean is: we want to be known, but not too much.Because to be seen fully is to stand without defense—to let someone witness the parts of you that aren’t edited or eloquent. It’s terrifying because it asks for surrender, not performance.This is a reflection on love, safety, and the nervous system.On how we build our identity around being composed, only to find that love wants the trembling version instead.It’s about learning to unclench, one truth at a time—to let connection become the place where healing begins.🎙️ Topics: Vulnerability, Intimacy, Emotional Healing, Love, Fear, Psychology, Spiritual Growth🎧 Listen when: you’re overthinking love, when you’re scared of being known, or when you need to remember that tenderness isn’t weakness.If you want some stuff to read stop by www.idiotmystic.com or if you're looking for an actual conversation about things join our Discord. ( https://discord.gg/dXKjhZrZmM )

People are usually surprised when I tell them that many of my clients are witches.

They wait for a punchline, a warning—something to make it safer to believe.

But it’s true.

From the rural Midwest to the deserts of Arizona to the temples and backstreets of Thailand, witchcraft has crossed my path more times than I can count.

I’m a Muslim, a meditation teacher, and a counselor.

I never sought these encounters ( maybe I did? ), but they found me anyway.

And somewhere between psychology and the unseen, I learned that what most people call “magic” often begins as pain, longing, and the need to be seen.

This episode isn’t about proving or disproving witchcraft. It’s about the people who practice it—and the human stories behind the spells.

The women ( and everyone ) reclaiming power after silence. The seekers trying to speak with something that listens back.

And the thin veil between healing and harm that I’ve had to walk for years.

Faith is its own armor, and I’ve learned that surrender protects better than fear.

Whether you call it energy, the unseen, or the Creator—the truth moves through all of it.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to sit across from someone who swears they’ve seen the other side… this is me trying to tell that story.

If...yes another if, you're looking for somethign to read check out www.idiotmystic.com and for soundbaths that I can't upload here, there's always the YouTube channel.

I hope you're well.

There’s a kind of pain that doesn’t scream.It hums quietly beneath the surface of your days — a dull ache that appears when you see love expressed in the world but not yet reflected in your own life.This isn’t emptiness.It’s remembering love — the love you were built for, the love that still lives inside you.In this reflection, we explore what mystic writer Mirabai Starr calls holy longing — the deep ache that comes from remembering something infinite while living in a finite world.It’s the ache of being full of love in a world that doesn’t always know what to do with it.You are not broken for wanting love.You are remembering it.The pain in your chest is proof of depth — the sign of a heart still awake, still capable of reverence.themes:– longing as memory of love– the sacred side of sensitivity– how pain becomes prayer– emotional depth as spiritual intelligence🎧 listen when:– you miss someone or something you can’t name– you feel “too sensitive” for the modern world– you want to remember that your ache is holy, not hopeless📖 “To be awake is to ache. The ache isn’t a flaw — it’s the soul remembering what it’s made of.”

I never set out to be a counselor for the strange and unexplainable...but as I taught meditation, continued my psychology education and opened myself to counseling work, a pattern formed. People didn’t just bring stress or heartbreak. They brought UFO sightings, shadow figures in doorways, mantis beings in dreams, voices with no bodies, premonitions that came true.These weren’t “fringe” people. They were parents, professionals, students. And they weren’t looking for someone to prove or disprove their stories... they were looking for someone who wouldn’t laugh. Someone to listen.This video is about what it’s like to sit with experiencers. How hearing enough of these stories softens your categories of science, spirituality, and psychology. How history is full of experiencers, in the form of shamans, saints, mystics, who had ritual frameworks to hold their visions, while today’s experiencers drift without containers.I talk about sleep paralysis, archetypes, Carl Jung, mantis beings, grays, and shadow people but mostly I talk about the power of witnessing without judgment. Because empathy can sometimes dissolve shame faster than explanation.It’s also about me...ewww I know and how listening to these stories has reshaped my own sense of reality. Certainty is brittle. Mystery is fertile. And maybe, in witnessing others, we start to touch a truth that doesn’t need proof to be felt.If you want to talk about your experiences...or really anything else, you're welcome to stop by our Discord server.https://discord.gg/dXKjhZrZmMOr if you prefer my unsolicited rants in written form, there is a blog on www.idiotmystic.com and a contact form. I'll warn you though...there are typos. If you made it to the end of this...I truly hope you're well, should I have said that at the start?

Some obsessions look ordinary from the outside.

But inside?

They’re ritual, tether, even sacrament.

I’ve watched creatives, dreamers, physicists, singers, and everyday workers treat dried mangoes not as snacks but as sacred companions...a kind of chewable sunlight that holds them steady between chaos and infinity.

For some, it was survival.

For others, rebellion.

For one physicist, it was the only thing that kept him human while his mind touched the divine.

This isn’t really about mangoes.

It’s about hunger, ritual, devotion, and the strange ways people anchor themselves to meaning.

Sometimes fascination doesn’t need comprehension. Sometimes mystery is enough.

If you like reading or want to reach out, there's a kind of blog on www.idiotmystic.com.

What if the strange lights in the sky aren't just a modern mystery, but the oldest one we know?This is the story of UFOs, not just as flying saucers or Pentagon footage, but as a phenomenon that’s haunted human history since the first time we looked up and wondered.From ancient Sumerian tablets and Ezekiel’s wheel, to World War II foo fighters, Project Blue Book, modern Navy encounters, and whistleblower testimony in Congress, this documentary ( lol...is that what this is? ) tries to put together centuries of sightings, belief, and official secrecy.Vimanas, chariots of fire, ghost rockets, alien abductions, Tic Tacs, metamaterials, memory metals...it’s all touched on here.This isn’t about belief. It’s about what’s been seen, measured, recorded, and sometimes hidden.Whether you think they’re disinformation, extraterrestrial, interdimensional, psychological, or spiritual...the mystery is real.👽 Support the Idiot Mystic project by sharing this video with someone who still believes we’re alone or reaching out through the website https://idiotmystic.com or our Discord server. ( https://discord.gg/dXKjhZrZmM )

Welcome to the descent. ( maybe welcome back if you're here again somehow ) In this episode ( I'm getting comfortable calling these episodes again ), we pull back the velvet curtain ( I don't know why I thought that would be cool to say...I said it in the video too...so cringe ) on Project Monarch, the alleged ( love that word ) mind control program said to have shaped Hollywood, pop culture, and perhaps even your daily life. We trace its roots through MKUltra, explore the use of trauma-based programming, and decode the eerie symbols hiding in plain sight, from butterflies to shattered mirrors, from glitching celebrities to cryptic performances.But this isn’t just about conspiracy. And it’s definitely not just entertainment.I try to talk about conspiracies, meditation, breathwork, and therapy because the truth isn’t isolated. It overlaps. It permeates. If you can understand the hidden nature of one thing, you can begin to sense the hidden nature of everything.There are vast oceans of divinely occulted knowledge, buried just beneath the surface of daily life, waiting to be unlocked. But the key isn’t panic, or paranoia. It’s discernment. Stillness. And the courage to follow the right path, even when it looks nothing like what you expected.The truth is layered, symbolic, and strange.But you’re not alone.Let’s explore it together.Okay, that ending was a little to airy...if you want to talk though, do stop by the Discord. ( link on Youtube...come find me! ) Also there's a blog on the website www.idiotmystic.com , I write stuff there.

I seem to have really gone off the deep when you look at the kind of videos I'm making...but I'm a good swimmer.Look, no human-made system is ever going to outdo the system, the one that governs everything: time, action, consequence, life itself. But that doesn’t stop people from trying. Every self-help guru, productivity hacker, and business coach is out here selling you the system. The one that promises success, clarity, and maybe abs if you just follow it exactly.But here’s what I think the truth is : they didn’t follow a system. They stumbled, stole, remixed, and tweaked their way to something that worked, then they repackaged it to sell to you.This mini-rant is about breaking out of the cycle of dependency on other people’s blueprints and learning how to build your own. Because real system-building isn’t a five-step formula; it’s messy, chaotic, and, most importantly, yours. So if you're tired of searching for the answer and ready to start asking better questions, this might be something you want to watch.If you want to interact more...because we can do that, check out the blog on www.idiotmystic.com, find us on your favorite social platform ( IG, Tik Tok ) or come talk to us on the Discord app where someone is being a person, 24/7. ( https://discord.gg/dXKjhZrZmM )

Did you know you already possess a secret superpower? It’s called metacognition...the incredible ability to think about your own thinking.Explaining metacognition might sound simple, but in my experience facilitating over 1,000 hours of meditation for clients, it's consistently the most life-changing technique I’ve encountered.In this episode ( if that is what these are ) , I try to get as deep as I can in 7 minutes, into what metacognition really is, why it’s your mind’s ultimate hidden skill, and how mastering it can genuinely transform your life.Imagine stepping outside your mind, looking back, and finally seeing exactly why you keep replaying awkward conversations, procrastinating, or spiraling into anxiety. Understanding metacognition lets you do just that, giving you the tools to shift negative patterns, enhance your learning, and make clearer, wiser decisions every single day.You could think of this as your friendly guide to unlocking the hidden superpower you didn't know you had. Grab your headphones, relax into a liminal vaporwave atmosphere, and let's gently explore the fascinating landscape of your own mind.I know it sounds dumb...to think about how you think.But try it.

Hey there, conspiracy enthusiasts and truth-seekers...wait a minute, is that why you're here?Sorry I've been filling the channel and internet with sound baths for the last month. I kind of just go by what I'm feeling.But I think I've figured out a way to talk about the stuff I want to talk about, even if it's just for a few minutes.Those 40 minute videos were taking too long to make and my sped up brain prefers to tell you everything I know, as soon as possible, so you can tell me everything you know as soon as possible. ( yes...I tend to sound this juvenile whenever I'm exicited ) But yeah...buckle up ( because seat belts still have buckles...at least some things stay the same ) because we're about to take a wild ride through the twisted corridors of MK Ultra, where the CIA played mad scientist with our brains.

And I know I'm making it sound a little lighter than it is...but sometimes you have to do certain things, to be able to talk about certain other things. Imagine a bunch of suit-wearing spooks trying to create real-life Jason Bournes ( super soldier type people but not Captain America style ), only to end up with a generation of TikTok addicts. Coincidence? I think not! From LSD-laced brothels to hypnotized assassins, MK Ultra was the OG of "let's see what happens if we push this button".But what if MK Ultra never really ended? What if it just traded in its lab coat for a hoodie and started coding social media algorithms? Now, I know what you're thinking: "This guy's been microdosing too much." Astaghfirullah. But hear me out! ( READ...I GET IT...this is reading ) Everything is connected. From the CIA's secret LSD parties to your aunt's obsession with cat memes – it's all part of the sci-fi tv show that is our REAL LIFE.So, put on your tinfoil hats (they're very fashionable this season) and join me as we connect dots so far apart they're practically in different galaxies. Because sometimes, the craziest connections yield the most mind-bending revelations. CONNECT THE DOTS.And hey, if you want to dive deeper ( people love saying deep dive but the depths of the ocean are SCARY ) into this rabbit hole or chat about other weird stuff that makes your brain do somersaults, hit us up ( ew...that sounded so lame ) at www.idiotmystic.com.

Or better yet, join our 24/7 discord of well intentioned weirdos at https://discord.gg/dXKjhZrZmM.Remember, in a world of MK Ultra, be an MK Awesome! ( idk what's wrong with me...)

Welcome to 2025, where we’re kicking off the year with...this. A video. A ramble. A cry into the void of the internet. Once upon a time, making videos was just about putting something out there because it felt right. Now it’s all, Is the title clickbait enough? Does the thumbnail have text? But not too much text? Should I slap a face on it so people will trust me?And speaking of thumbnails—yeah, this one’s a joke...in case you were concerned.The internet is chaos, and honestly, so is this video.In between thumbnail philosophy and existential spiraling, I remembered I need to pay rent (shoutout to adulting), reflected on how the tide sometimes takes over your ship (deep, right?), and tried to figure out why any of this matters. Maybe it doesn’t. But maybe it does.If this video made you laugh, think, or just helped you avoid whatever you’re putting off, thanks for letting me be part of your day. Welcome to the wild ride that is 2025. Let’s see where the tide takes us. 🍋Two years till the alien invasion apparently?

Someone asked me the other day, quite beligerently ( but at my asking ), "WHAT IS YOUR CHANNEL EVEN ABOUT?!?!".I didn't really know how to explain it.He said I need to focus my niche more.I need to tighten up my thumbnails.Maybe have multiple channels.Like I said in of the other descriptions recently, I don't even know what a video is anymore.I don't know if it's just me saying what I want to say to someone who wants to hear or see it.Now it's a thumbnail and a title and what time I release it.But I don't think that is something I can participate in very well.I enjoy variation where it is healthy.I enjoy trying different things.Because that's how the human being is designed.Repetition in some things, variance in others.I'll show up and make something for you because some of you enjoy it.And our conversations are crazy and wonderful.Sometimes, unexpected friendships are even formed.But I can't really explain what I'm doing here or what this is.If I could, it wouldn't be a journey...probably something more like a quest.Think of this channel like a walk in the forest...except, you don't have to go home at the end.We're just walking around, taking it in. I hope you've been well since our last one way conversation in this description box.Feel free to reach out, either through www.idiotmystic.com or the Discord app, where there's something weird going on 24/7.

*This was recording in 2024 but uploaded in 2025 because...well I'm mostly focused on YouTube now as I can upload everything there easier. Sorry and I hope to see you there...or on the Discord app. *

So, we’re back playing Webfishing, where you cast digital lines into the weirdest corners of the internet while contemplating life’s deepest mysteries...and also socks.I know you don't really expect gaming videos from me, but I don't know what I expect from me here.Let's just try to get through this together.Some questionable highlgiths include:

🎓 Flexing my all-A’s final win (Internet achievement unlocked).

🎣 The mystery of “Grincher” — like a Webfishing Herobrine, but less helpful.

☕ Cold coffee life decisions (with too much creamer, apologies to my Dad).

🧦 An unprompted ( isn't everything I do here unprompted? ) ode to socks — summer socks, slipper socks, socks and Crocs (yup)Somehow, this session became a backseat-philosopher kind of hangout where I wonder if you’re wearing socks, eating Cheetos, or thinking about life after death. We barely cover geopolitics, metaphysics, digital nostalgia, and whether buying a $25 Xbox gift card is a scam (it really seems like one).It’s weird, cozy, and kind of like a long, rambling letter from a friend who might be slightly sleep-deprived but means well. Take a breath, fish the web, and let’s wonder about stuff together.I won't ask you to like and subscribe...but comment and just tell me what you ate for breakfast. Seriously, I need to know. 🎣🧦💫Emojis are still the best...even in 2024.

Welcome to the Cozy Library in My Head. It's the same place that lofi playlist video was at.The Mind Palace.It’s snowing outside (well, not really, but let’s pretend). I really seem like I've lost my mind haven't I?A video a day?So you can relax?I think it's a good idea.I’m sitting here in warm socks, recording this meditation for you. If I sound like I’m falling asleep, I probably did ...I might’ve ( did ) even edited out some dead air where I drifted off. At least you know it "works".This isn’t just a holiday meditation ( kind of because of when I'm uploading it ) but you could find this video next summer, or in ten years, assuming YouTube is still a thing (a weird thought, right?). But right now, we’re here to breathe together.What to Expect:Simple Breathing Practice: In through the nose, hold, out through the mouth — repeat until life feels a little softer.Relaxed, Real Vibes: No overly polished, “perfect” meditation voice here — just a cozy space to be yourself.Mindful Escape: Imagine snow outside, the warmth of a quiet library, and the feeling of finally slowing down. Let’s Breathe Together:Find a comfy spot (lying down, sitting up — standing if you’re bold).Close your eyes… or keep them open.Breathe in deeply… hold… and let it out slowly.No rush. No pressure.We’re aiming for more than ten deep breaths, something most people don’t make time for. If you stay with me ‘til the end, thank you — and if you’re just here for a moment, I hope it helps anyway.It's been nice hearing from so many of you lately. Keep stopping by the Discord app ( link in bio ) if you get a chance or reach out through the comments or website ( www.idiotmystic.com ).

FOR ALL THE CONTENT go to our YouTube channel...I can't post things that are audio only through Spotify for podcasts.

I don’t know why I make these videos... maybe I’m just some kind of emotional hoarder. You ever get hit by that weirdly intense 5PM light and suddenly remember stuff you didn’t even know you were missing? Like the last time all your friends hung out… or when cartoons still felt like magic (before life hit you with “bills” and “responsibilities”). This is a monologue ( I think that's what this is called ) about those “last times” we didn’t see coming ,when “GTG, dinner” turned into “sorry, been busy lately.” It’s cheesy, it’s dramatic, and yeah, maybe a little too real. Watch it, feel things, and maybe text that friend you’ve been “meaning to catch up with.”

PLEASE stop by the YouTube where we have ALL Idiot Mystic content including probably 100 hours of Sound Baths for you to relax and meditate to. :)

Okay, so I honestly didn't ever think I'd get this weird. Like I knew I was strange, but sharing this has been cathartic. I do voices all the time. For my son, for jokes, for family...it's just something I've always done. Fictional characters have also always been a part of my life...sometimes they seem to take on a life of their own. Lemon Tart is one of those guys. I hope you're doing well and that we talk soon. Reach out through www.idiotmystic.com or the Discord app.

* NOTE ( eww ) : ALL EPISODES ARE ON YOUTUBE...I can't upload soundbaths and episodes that are mostly sounds and not talking on Spotify or Apple Podcasts *

I'll still upload what I can here. ( IM is better with video to be honest )

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🎣 Playing Webfishing again, solo again—it’s finals week, and life is a little hectic.

Between catching fish and figuring out how to put them in the aquarium, I talk about college, late-in-life student experiences, meditation, and even a bit of holiday movies. It’s a mix of casual reflections: what it means to pause and breathe, the weirdness of Saturnalia ( well I really don't get into but that's what Christmas is ), and how I seem to have an anchor in my life. Plus, a bit of fun trying to make my cat look less creepy. If you’re into relaxed, idiot rants and games you can play in the background, stick around.

Stick around has always felt like a wierd thing to say, you don't have to stick.

You can just breathe and be here. You can reach out through www.idiotmystic.com or the Discord App.🐟👾

Today, I finally sat down to play Webfishing—a cozy, retro-inspired game where you fish as an anthropomorph in a surreal world. Shoutout to Drew (yes, I have friends) for gifting me the game and to the people gently pushing me to play it. This isn’t just a gameplay video—it’s a window into my slightly anxious, often reflective brain. I’m trying to balance making meditations and sound baths with letting people get to know me better. I also managed to escape a death loop, jump on some mushrooms, and put fish in an aquarium (after way too much trial and error). Fake fishing as a creepy looking cat turned out to be strangely compelling, even if I’m still figuring out how to enjoy gaming without guilt. If you’ve ever felt too anxious to play a video game, or just want to relax with some low-pressure gameplay, come hang out. Let’s see where the digital waters take us. And hey, if you’ve made it this far, try a deep breath—inhale through your nose, hold it, and let it out slowly. 🎣 Webfishing might be fake fishing, but it’s real progress for me. Maybe we’ll fish the web together next time. p.s. Soundbaths and meditations are ONLY on YouTube because Spotify Podcasts doesn't allow distribution of podcasts that are audio only with no talking.

So come stop by the YouTube for the full Idiot Mystic experience. ( whatever that means )

"Who am I, really?" It's a question that’s both simple and complicated, and today, I'm journaling my way through it. In this quick reflection, I scribble down thoughts on identity, purpose, and the roles we play in life – father, student, coffee lover – and wonder if there's more to us than the labels we wear. As I write, I ask: Who is this "I" that I keep referring to? Is it just the part of me that has a cold right now, or something deeper? And if you ask yourself the same question, what comes to mind? I figured I'd bring you along on this weekend journaling session as I explore these questions, unfiltered and a bit scattered, because sometimes the simplest writing sessions spark the biggest questions. So, who are you, really? It's nice that you're here by the way, I hope you're doing okay. Good even.

When was the last time you sat with yourself...like really, truly sat with everything you are and everything you've been through? In this video, I think I made some kind of 90s-inspired meditation, a nostalgic journey that touches the deepest parts of your soul and brings you back to the moments that shaped you. Remember the kid who believed in magic, who saw the world as a canvas filled with possibility? The teenager who felt everything so deeply that it hurt? And now, here you are, carrying stories and memories, both beautiful and painful, that you never asked for but have grown into. This meditation reflects on those chapters, especially the moments when you learned that life doesn’t always go as expected,when growing up meant carrying things you never thought you’d have to. Through gentle visuals and a super cool ( at least to me ) soundtrack, let this experience guide you to the quiet resilience that’s kept you moving forward, the strength that’s allowed you to keep breathing, keep feeling, and keep finding beauty in the small things. Dust in the sunlight. Coffee swirling in the morning. The softness in your heart despite every ache it’s felt. Who are you, really? Beyond the face you show the world, beyond the person others expect you to be? This meditation is about sitting with that person, dancing with your shadows, finding acceptance in your story, and discovering a quiet beauty within every scar, every laugh, and every tear. This isn’t what we usually do, but it’s a moment to pause, reflect, and remember: you’re still here, still writing your story, still learning to love the parts of yourself you once thought were unlovable. Press play and join us on this journey down memory lane. You’re not alone in it, and your story is far from over. Come talk to me and everyone else on the Discord app ( https://discord.gg/dXKjhZrZmM ) or check out www.idiotmystic.com.