Have you ever been in the position where you reflect on who you are in a relationship only to realize you don't recognize yourself? This episode will likely, and unfortunately, be relatable to a lot of you. Why is it, how is it that some of us are in relationships where we get lost? How can we get back to who we really are? Debbie Freeman shares her own very personal experience that is sadly all too familiar. But it's also very encouraging.
What beliefs drive you? What beliefs hold you back? Are we always able to recognize them for what they are?
My conversation with Emily Aborn (she's joined me a second time), digs into how we reach the goals we want, which includes working through who we are and walking towards that goal. Why is it so difficult to do that first thing, figure out who we are? As a business owner hosting over a thousand women in her She Built This women's entrepreneurial group she's constantly working on this. She leads by example asking herself the hard questions and working on getting the answers.
Emily also mentioned that she's working with Kasey Mathews. Kasey was a wonderful guest on this podcast. If you want to work through life's challenges, Kasey is a great person to talk with. in fact, Kasey is a great person to talk with anyway. Here's Emily's site. If you're a woman in business or know one, check her out.
Let's face it, sometimes the changes we need to make aren't nearly as difficult as daring to make them. When Kara thought revamping her professional life may be the most difficult thing she'd ever done she soon realized it was going to take more courage and determination than she'd ever have needed.
Now, on the other side of a full-life transformation, she's helping others with their own progress so they don't have to go through what she did. Here's Kara's information
Do you know someone whose story could help others, inspire them, make them laugh? If so, please make the introductions. Let's get them seen.
Two, three, four-generation portraits? Or how about just you, for you?
Emily has been creating most of her life. The project she's displaying now at Labelle Winery in Derry, NH goes beyond pretty pictures. Listen as she discusses the very personal motivation that has prompted her to commit to this years' long endeavor.
It was so easy spending time with her and I'm looking forward to experiencing her work in person. It's available through August 30th. If you know someone who would be touched by this exhibit please, do share.
Much of Karen Kenney's thinking is aligned with my own. And even in areas where we may differ I feel such a depth of respect for her. You're going to hear why her choosing the path she has is incredible, not just for its own sake but for the obstacles that could easily have pushed her in another direction.
This was a fun, moving, touching conversation. Thank you Karen.
We mention a lot of worthwhile information that may be of interest to you. Here are some Karen is passing along:
KK Website: http://karenkenney.com
The Karen Kenney Show Podcast: https://www.karenkenney.com/podcast
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karenkenneylive/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karenkenneylive/
Free Gift - Your Spiritual Team: https://www.karenkenney.com/freebie
And I mentioned the books You Are Not A Rock written by Mark Freeman and Feeling Good by David Burns
Not for the first time, a thank you to Emily Aborn for the connection, the support and way you make it all look so easy.
Every now and then I create my own portraits. I do it so I can remember what it feels like to be uncomfortable and a bit exposed. It allows me to better relate to my clients who, very often feel uncomfortable and exposed.
But I'm taking it a little further. As a follow-up to a number of my clients and guests I've put myself in the position to answer my own question: How do I want to be seen?
That's what this episode is.
At the end one of my clients shares her experience being photographed and honestly talks about her own resistance. I hope this gives you a glimpse into why this question is important to me in both this podcast as well as my portrait work. And at least as importantly, I hope you get a feel for how much I cherish the privilege of creating portraits for my clients.
This is a link to a gallery of a few clients who have shown that breaking the rules of traditional portraits, even for head shots and personal branding just makes sense. If you aren’t a traditional kind of person, why be seen in a traditional way? Whether you're quiet, outgoing, creative, stoic, be seen as you are.
How do you want to be seen?
That doesn't sound terribly appealing, does it? But ask yourself this; how many wonderfully, life-changing experiences have you had that didn't involve work? When I heard Sonya use that term, sit in the fire I immediately went to the refining process. Without that extraordinary heat and pressure the finest gold cannot meet its full potential.
This is the second of two conversations around life with those with narcissistic tendencies (Please click here to listen to that first conversation). As with the first with Tammy Jordan, this conversation does address the real challenges that come from these relationships. However, I also really wanted to get into what is it about those who draw or are drawn to those with these tendencies that can be recognized, and helpful.
I've received a lot of feedback from this conversation, and I'm deeply grateful. At the end of this episode I'm asking for your help with another highly sensitive topic. Please reach out if you're interested in helping.
Here's Sonya's contact information. She wants to help.
I know, this one's going long. Add to that, we're getting into some pretty heavy stuff.
Tammy Jordan was introduced to me through the She Built This network group (Thank you Emily & Erin). I indicated that I was interested in recording a conversation with someone qualified to discuss narcissism and narcissistic personality traits as well as the challenges that come with caring for someone with these characteristics. The request was kind of out of the blue but the response was quick and enthusiastic. Tammy has written a book describing her own experiences both as a child and residual affects as she is herself now a mom.
She readily attributes much of her own growth to various authors; all of the pertinent links are below. Included is a link to the video version of the recording. I will say that as I edited the episode I saw a lot of discomfort in my own reactions. That is not to say to I regret having had the conversation, not at all. But if you want to see me squirm...
There will be another conversation in a couple of weeks with Sonya Lyn following up and taking a look at the individuals who see themselves drawn towards those who exhibit hurtful behavior. It's also kind a of tough episode, but hopeful. I'd like to consider having a round-table discussion with a small group and someone like Tammy or Sonya to field questions. It's clear there are a number of people impacted.
Thank you Tammy. Thank you all who responded to my request. Enjoy.
Video version of our conversation
Tammy's book: Returning to Whole (free first chapter)
Purchase Returning to Whole through Amazon
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine
Tammy's headshot was created by Alexandra Chan
Loss and grief are universal. Working through is individual.
There's never been a generation who have skirted the pain of loss. How do you deal with it? For some the answer is to remove themselves from everything so as to just 'be'. For other, they know they need to be around others. It's no secret that there are damaging coping mechanisms, and they can send us down into a pit. Christopher Booth had found himself in a dark place after the loss of his mother. He gradually recognized the power of music, not erase, but to manage the pain. That's what this conversation is about.
If you'd like to learn more about how he's helping others through all manner of emotional discomfort here's where you can find him:
And by the way, the lead out of this episode gives you a sample of his work.
Amanda applies that principle of looking within to money, but man, isn't that the truth in so many areas? Amanda is only the second person I've met who's built a business around removing money blocks. What are we talking about here? What are money blocks? Do we have control over the income we receive or is it merely - "Want more? Then work more"?
I've been doing work in this area for a little while now, and it's fascinating. I'd be interested in your feedback and insights.
Below are Amanda's links.
Everyone would like to be seen at peace. For those who have struggled with eating disorders, or any disorder, this is quite an accomplishment.
Bulimia. It's certainly not a new trend, but I'll be honest, until I met LaurieAnn I didn't realize it as a problem for women in midlife. I know most of my listeners are women and for you this may be a very sensitive topic. Please don't turn away. Whether you have struggled with an eating disorder or not the dynamics that lead to this kind of behavior are so common.
I really hope you enjoy this conversation. I hope if you feel the need for support you reach out for it. I hope, if you've never experienced this particular pain you'll offer your hand.
Deal with the lows, focus on the highs. Easy enough.
Well, probably not. But wouldn't it be nice if we could.
Lori Baker Schena has designed her life and her practice around believing she can. And she's incorporated it into her coaching; from the entrepreneur to the corporate big-wig.
See how her message touches you.
Here is Lori's LeadHERship Consortium website:
TELEPHONE:
949-415-4940
EMAIL: GetInTouch@LeadHERshipConsortium.com
Self-care. We hear about it, we talk about it, we extol its many virtues. Few of us would tell our friends they shouldn't 'indulge' in rest, or a massage if they needed it. And yet, how often do we struggle with feeling okay to that for ourselves? It's a thing.
Lucy Weed has put herself in front of people, wanting to serve them. First, she worked at Prime Roast, right here in Keene, NH. So it was an easy transition to carry that on in New Orleans. But over time she's recognized the damage the lack of self-care brings. She wants to be seen as kind, for that to be her lasting legacy.
Listen to how she is working along as a brand ambassador for St Germaine Liquor as well as develop her own brand aimed at helping others take for themselves the time, the relaxation, the wellness they need. This one applies to pretty much every woman I know. Enjoy the conversation then reach our to our Keene native, Lucy Weed.
A big nod to Prime Roast Coffee - still serving the community with a smile.
Fight or flight. Are you free of its influence? Does one have to endure an especially severe trauma for their body to be held in a fight or flight state? Think about it; Do you ever feel really relaxed? Have you ever paid attention to your body's state at moments of 'rest'? I will say, after having this conversation with Amy I am far more aware of, sort of the status of my body: shoulders are tighter than I realized; my 'good posture' isn't really as good as I'd thought; my hips are tighter than I'd noticed before. What is that about?
As someone aware of the need for exercise I wouldn't have thought I would learn as much as I did from this conversation. Listen and see if you come away with helpful insights. If so, please share with them. And if you'd like to watch our conversation, here's the link.
We've all had that friend who wouldn't ever tell us we looked ridiculous before we left the house. They're just too nice.
Then there's the 'friend' who never has a good thing to say about how we look
A personal stylist.
Imagine having someone help you shop. I don't mean just go shopping with you. I mean help you find what you feel really great in. And she's really excited to see you feel great. That's her job. She loves it. Here's Jennifer's Facebook so you can have her go shopping with you.
How do you want to be seen? Let me know.
Jennifer's photo was taken by Jenessa MacKenzie
Is anything really possible. Are some adversities just too much to make it through? Listen as Kasey Mathews describes the journey her family faced when her little babe was born at 25 weeks. Then read her book, Preemie
Who does that?! Meg Poor.
There is no lack of resource for life and/or business coaching. That's not to say though that there's an overabundance; each of these coaches have their own way of helping people move forward. It's not just professional experience, it's also personality and personal experience. Meg brings her own life's experience and desire to help others. And she's so fun.
Thank you Emily Aborn for yet another great connection through your She Built This group.
