Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Matthew 10:24-5  The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord. It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord. So what does this mean? Who is He? What about Him are we to be like?  We cant be: Son of God, Saviour of World, Ruler of Heaven & Earth, Messiah, King, Judge, Creator....So how CAN we be "as him?"   We are to be caregivers  If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household? He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. But He also warns in 37-38: He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. Caregiving is Christianity. Turning other cheek. Loving enemies. Praying for those who have missed you. Giving 2nd coat/level of effort. Rejoice with those who rejoice Caregiving is a reflection of the gospel. - life - hope  - truth - value The world (culture) cares nothing of these things. The gospel provides you were created in the image of God, though in great need that you cannot meet, but must be met by sacrificial love from outside.  Your value is established in your life, but the truth is that you need help from outside to live as you were intended to live. You are body and you are spirit. Your body fails, your spirit will live forever. The ultimate goal of caregiving is the spiritual well-being of your care receiver. Second is the overall quality of life that we can provide within the context of other challenges and resource limitations. This is a shadow or taste of something greater.  Knowing someone cares (however imperfectly) takes the care receiver beyond despair. Our care and demonstrated love serves as an anchor of their soul of their own value.  That life is worth living, and it is greater than what I am going through at present. Caregiving:  love God, love others greater than yourself If you have done it unto least of these, youve done it unto me Well done, good and faithful servant J127 vs J215--doing vs talking only, real faith vs non The first will be last, the greatest the servant of all He took a cup and washed their feet His sandals I am not worthy to unlatch

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) The hardest thing to do in life is to remember God. He is gone like the morning dew in the desert of Yuma. He vanishes on way up, on way down, and in busy-ness in between. When is the last time you thought about God, for, say, more than 15-seconds straight?  What is is about caregiving that causes us to forget Him even more? Well, everything about caregiving causes us to forget Him.  A cure is Psalm 48. In it we are told we can study Him, see Him, hear Him, and experience Him--that we might then share Him with the generation that follows behind. This, I think, is key to remembering God in our daily caregiving. Experience Him, then Share Him--THEN you will remember Him. You dont learn, then do--you do, then learn. Try it!      

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Rejoice that God has given you this hard work, and He has qualified you for it.  Rejoice that His works are eternal, and your work is absorbed within His own.  Rejoice that crowns await you, fashioned by His hands to fit your head perfectly.  Rejoice your care receiver is alive, and you are here, responsible--serving.  Rejoice your kids see your example, and no one around you can argue against your silent testimony. Instead, they honor and are provoked by you to do their own good works.  Rejoice that our verbs go with us into heaven, like when we give, love, serve, care, help, assist, teach, guide, protect, schedule, cook, clean, plan, do, etc.  Please share your own joys with me at info@helping.mom 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Questions every caregiver asks vs ONE we should ask  How long is it going to last?  What is the impact of this upon me—my ____?  What changes do I need to make to ___?  Do we have enough money?  Can I do this? What if my CR ___falls, gets sick, vomits, loses mind, gets worse, becomes violent? Am I going to have to change her diapers? (Or other awful fear)  HOW awful (not is) is this going to be?  Will anyone help me?   Will we have to put into nursing home?  How do govt programs & insurance work?  Where do I go for help?  Who do I ask? Should I tell my friends? Kids?  Will my mom suffer dementia?  Why me?  Why is this so difficult? Can any good come out of this? What if i die first?  Can I do this? SEV  times  The BEST question we can ask instead: What should I do today, right now, to maximize the quality of life for my CR--within the context of all other factors?  Please share your ideas to Info@helping.mom

My take as Army Vet/caregiver: Charlie Kirk was a Cultural Caregiver to our nation, strengthening minds & hearts through speech, reason, & debate. He is why we have the 1st Amendment in our Constitution. He was murdered for his faith in Jesus Christ, and for taking the “leaven” of faith serious in his life & work. Let us as caregivers to our own loved ones serve them today in peace and hope and love—in light of the timelessness of eternity. 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Matthew 8: 5-10 Elements of US Army (indeed, of all US Military) is same as our Caregiving: MISSION  RECON SITREP RISK  PLAN OPORD COMMS Hooah!  Send ideas to Info@helping.mom

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Make sure you Listen to end on this podcast.  4 Mental Images of Sameness dominate our thinking: Groundhog Day Movie, Prison Cells, Chinese Water Torture, and Mouse Wheels. But let us examine these more closely.  Is it sameness we dislike so much, or something deeper?  Whatever it is, really, how can we combat it?  Please listen and share your thoughts today, at info@helping.mom 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) It’s interesting that Jesus tells us to pray. To work, yes. But to pray, why? He equates working and praying as synonymous, with no distinction to be drawn between them.  Like 2 wings on same plane. Yet we tend to gravitate toward one extreme or other.

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) This week I received a great compliment from a current customer, who said to me he hopes I keep doing what I am doing for others, so that when his kids get older I can help them too. This is nice to hear.  Tabitha was a caregiver through her acts of “good works” and Almsgiving. She was also a widow. What work(s) will survive your passing? What will you leave behind that others will be able to handle, and point to, as something unique that YOU contributed to this world? There is still time, if you havent thought this trough. Tabitha left behind works personal and real, which helped others and provided for herself, things others could put in their hand as proof of the meaning of her life. When I was in Army Basic Training a drill sergeant asked a private next to me, actually he yelled it at full-lung, "Private, HOW DO YOU JUSTIFY YOUR EXISTENCE?!?!?" Friends, how do you justify your's? What works will you be crowned for in glory?  Tabitha was rich in good works combining her head, heart and hands. 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Today I share such helpful advice from caregivers given to another caregiver who's son just passed from Sepsis, a horrible medical condition.  Share your own stories with me at Info@helping.mom Please pray for this dear, grieving mother.  

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) 7 Things you can do GREAT as caregiver that require NO talent,skill or experience. 1. Being present, I’m Here (posters of GIs on walls at Dachau)  2. Making Effort, doing something to help. The way people can do it for years is because it is so gradual. Same as serving a prison sentence. Or getting through school. 3. Having Positive Attitude, thinking on bright side. Focu on what I can do, not should have done. Not my failures but fact you are today. I get stuff from store. I emptied a closet. Paid all bills. 4. Learning from Mistakes, then not repeating. There IS a dumb question in life—in fact 3 of them: one you don’t res to ask because you can figure it out; the one you’ve asked already; asking your boss to repeat himself because you’re not listening.  5. Figuring things out, thinking way through 6. Anticipating next need, with preparation. Alabama: the next right thing. 7. Tough skin. Resolve. Stamina. Hatred of losing. Desire to win. Not be beaten. Faith. Hope. At some point they’re all the same. Having Strong Work Ethic, make it through day Please send your ideas to info@helping.mom 

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Do you have Feeding lips or Bleeding lips? Heart-Tongue Corridor of the Caregiver Proverbs 10:21: "The lips of the righteous feed many." I am a hypocrite! I promise you--I violate every thing I am going to share with you today. But I am reminded, that tho we stumble, we do not fall. Today several Verses on the Heart-Tongue relationship of Caregiver, with very little explanation. To quote Aerosmith, I am going to “Let the music do the talking,” or, here, the Bible. Of all people in world, the caregiver has the most right to be cynical, snappy, crabby and angry. Churlish Caregivers you could call us all for all of us have complained, griped, hated it, kicked against it like Paul did pricks. We are all grumbly bears. Reasons are many: On avg we donate for free 26 hrs/week; we pay out of pocket $8K/yr. 25% of us also take care of our own kids at same time. We feel bad ourselves. We did not plan for this, or prepare for it. We are not ready, qualified or motivated. No one is helping us. This decision may have cost us our family, our career, our happiness and our peace of mind. We are at our worse, taking care of someone at their worse who does not appreciate us or want us. No one in our society places much value on families to care for elders. Our kids never see us, or, like 10% of all teens in our country, they caregive with us.I read story this week of family who planned funeral of their old mother, and noticed few came to her wake or funeral. Then as soon as the graveside service was over, they drove to their mother’s house to find it completely ransacked by siblings and family members who had not gone to her funeral. Quate: “While all will fight for grandma’s money, no one will fight to take care of her.”  It all seems negative and only getting worse. But the Bible can help. Remember the purpose of the word is to correct and instruct in right uses.Out of heart mouth speaks (Jer 17:9), AND brain thinks! The heart has 40,000 neurons and sends more messages to brain than brain sends to heart. From heart comes emotion, awareness, response, maybe even reason. Bible declares the heart is  spiritually deceitfully wicked, and past finding out (Jer 17:9). Out of it flows 7 evils, says Jesus (Mt 15:19). And, “out of it the mouth speaks” (Matt 12:34). James says the tongue is a rudder which tho small controls the huge ship of our whole life and destiny (James 3:4). You’ve never gotten in trouble by things you didn’t say!!! It is set on fire from hell (James 3:6). We praise God and curse man with it (James 3:9). What is down in the well, comes up in the bucket. Particularly when no one is looking, and when money or stress of falling is at hand. To make matters totally worse, we will give an account for every idle word that proceeds out of our heart-mouth (Mt 12:36). If we will be judged by every silly word we have said, or words unnecessary, imagine what we face for everything hateful we absolutely meant to say!  Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8), and; a soft answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). I proved this verse this past SAT when I took mom out to eat breakfast. Her first word, in parking lot, before getting out of vehicle, “And, he brings me HERE.” Paul says, as much as lies within you, live in peace with all men (Romans 12:18). He continues (Eph 4:29), let that which comes from your mouth be good, edifying, and minister grace to the hearer.BLUF: 1) The quickest way to restore relationship, and redeem your reputation, is “I’m sorry.” 2) The lips of the righteous feed (Pro 10:21).3) The words of the righteous build the other person by speaking grace into their lives (Eph 4:29). We speak life, says TobyMac. 4) “Speak the truth in love”

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) 5 “Highs” of caregiving: High agency. High confidence. High learning.. High heart. High hope.

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Building the Mindset of a Caregiver (Jude 20-21) Begin with stories of Dave, Ron & Frank Building mindset of caregiver requires 4 things: building, praying, keeping & looking, i.e., Effort, Prayer, Resolve, Anticipation Jude:Half-brother of Jesus Not disciple during lifetime of Jesus Like brother James, not entrusted with mother’s care at cross Like James, now believer, extremely practical on what is-is not saving faith Jude 20-21...

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) What to do when mom dies. 10-point outline. Each bullet point is a podcast. 1 Communicate out. Task helper 2 Plan short term where bury, type casket, funeral home, speaker, meal, flowers, media outlet / social media 3 Secure pets, mail, trash, fridge, utilities 4 Get death certificate x 25 cert copies. Digitize it. Email/save to yourself. 5 Get cash soon. Long process. 6 Find Will, Open Estate. Collect debts...

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Abraham, Adam, Jesus & You as caregiver Abraham as caregiver. Romans 4:21. Persuaded, he performed. He stepped—& bred! Jesus: Go & make disciples. Adam: Go and tend garden. Go and name animals. Moses: Go and tell Pharaoh. David: Go and take food to your brothers. Persuaded by the promise (god with him), he performed. 3 Ps: persuaded, promise. Perform. Fully persuaded in what god promised, he performed. He stepped—and bre...

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Intro: Tragic true story of noncommunicative octogenarian man thought for years to be incontinent--who wasnt To be right is to be alone, and sometimes to be very, very wrong. 4 Things we must be right about in CG: Safety & Security of CR Cash Flow (nonpaid bills are lurking snakes)--IU Health as example Medical State as of right now: appts, meds, conditions, supplies, RX, TX, DX, What is next…what if… But what does it mean “right?” One Be...

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Countercultural Caregiving. Romans 1:1 Catch: Caregiving in America today is as countercultural as Christianity was in Jerusalem in day of Jesus, and in Rome in days of Paul. Christianity began in Jerusalem: Temple, Law, Priests, Passover, Arrest, Trial, Crucifixion, Resurrection, All disciples Jews there, Missions began here, First Sermon: Pentecost (5000 saved from 10+ diff regions of world), Persecution began in Jerusalem when Herod killed James, Firs...

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) What makes us crappy listeners? God gave us 2 ears & 1 mouth,, that we would listen 2X more than we talk. So what went wrong? The thing we need the most of, we do the least. Broadly speaking sociolinguists identify 3 broad barriers to effective listening: Internal barriers—daydreaming, ignorance, hearing problems, tired, ADD, jumping to conclusions, personal attacks, listening to speak instead of listening to receive. Externa...

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) Pouring your heart out as Caregiver Mt 26:6-13 An unknown woman enters a room of religious men. What she does inside is memorialized in the Bible. Not her name, but what she does--meaning we too can be memorialized by our actions. Jesus’ teaching ministry is finished. His healings and miracles are done. He made clear he will die by crucifixion. The number of days he has left on earth is low single digits. His disciples still are unaware of th...