In which we face the end of days… TikTok says it’s the Rapture today, and when the gals heard that, they knew it was their duty to chime in. But what are the steps of the Rapture? Who even in society is Christ/the Antichrist? Will there be any surprises with who gets sucked up? What was Jesus’ body like?
Plus, the Jimmy Kimmel saga, our post-apocalypse plans, and dragon-therapy for frigid people. This one’s uncut— we only have so much time left.
In which we drop the ball. Blumhouse is back at it again with a new thriller movie that asks a compelling and prescient question: would you kill your app date? What’s the big deal anyway? How much can you even care about a first date? On the other hand, what if he’s super good at texting?
Plus, Irish racism, some really tempting spam texts, and a mini happenstance on the movie Night Swim. In our predictions segment, Jyo has some ideas about AI boyfriends while Sam intuits the future of her pilates class. We end, as always, with a denouement with tips for home improvement and philosophizing on Trader Joe’s snacks.
In which it's oil in a day's work (thank you to puns.co for this pun)!! Today we're talking about Paul Thomas Anderson, his other movies, and his love life. But wait, is this the one with Javier Bardem in a bob? Is the Boogie Nights famous penis big enough? What if our podcast was number 2 or 3 on the New York Times 100 best movies list? That would be cool :D
Plus, Jyo recounts the shocking plot of The Brutalist, some really good DDL/BBL wordplay, and a board game hot take. Then, in our predictions segment, we unpack how Sam's last one was literally already proven wrong, and then Jyo's is immediately proven right. We end with a denouement that's more of a cliffhanger. Oil's well that ends well!
In which we did not do the reading. It's Shakespeare summer school, and on the syllabus are four of ole Willy's most esteemed works: Othello, The Tempest, As You Like It, and Macbeth. And as usual we have a lot of questions. Who did Sam play in her high school Shakespeare productions? What even happens in "The Boy Who Cried Wolf?" And finally, who ends class, the teacher or the bell?
Aside from guessing the plot of these literary masterpieces, we're unveiling our new pop culture philosophy/cultural movement/manifesto... DON'T WATCH IT. Don't go to the movies, don't watch TV, don't even listen to this podcast if you don't want to. We're not saying don't engage with art, we're saying don't feed the Hollywood machine✌️☮️💖
Plus, a recap of our first ever business call, Love Island except it's Hate Island, and our predictions for the return of tricorn hats and street urchins. We end with a brand new, extra-boring segment, the Denouement, that'll put you right to sleep. Sweet dreams, Stancers 😌
In which we are super on topic. Recorded a few months back after the White Lotus season 3 finale, we come at you today with a summer ep exploring our ideas for season 4. Can Mike White do it again? But where this time? How did his recent real life trip to Colombia go? And how can he one-up the incest storyline?
Plus, the gals come up with a bunch of creative vacay-style murders, surprise themselves by inviting Patrick Schwarzenegger on the pod, and argue for a summer and winter White Lotus release schedule. Then in their famous segment predictions, Jyo sounds off on who's going to space, and Sam posits that ocean beings and outer space beings are in communication with each other.
In which we are Megan (makin’) a lot of sense… Guys, she’s back, and she’s taller than ever. It’s Megan’s world and we’re all just living in it. This week, we give our best guesses on what the Megan sequel should be, and then watch the trailer live to see if we were right. And as usual, we learn that using your imagination is better than actually watching movies.
But first, which one of the girls is recording this while wearing wet socks? Can AI travel by email? Shouldn’t Megan turn herself into a shark/rocket? Why won’t Hollywood ever give us what we want (Megan dancing for two hours straight)??
Plus, we finally talk about The Orphan, tips for short kings on height-maxxing, and why women should be in charge of the world.
We end with our world-famous prediction segment with Jyo’s prophecy for the robot apocalypse and Sam’s theory that actually everything is about to be awesome. Spring break forever! Stay slaying, y’all.
In which we animay know a thing or two… After our victorious episode on Flow, the gals are finally tackling anime, starting with Naruto. And? They're taking the assignment seriously, by running and dressing the part, though ultimately they’re left with more questions than answers.
Does Jyo eff with anime guys on dating apps? Why was Yugioh allowed to change from being a small child to a sexy adult man? What is Naruto doing for 200+ episodes? Is there a guy named Sasuke in it? Is ninja fighting more equivalent to football or war?
Sam gets emotional about the Naruto reveal, Jyo has nothing bad to say about Sasuke, and both gals hate Naruto's teen dad. Plus, Jyo accuses Naruto's mom of cheating, makes a crazy prediction about Japan and the gal's finally discuss The Accountant 2.
Does Ben Affleck have a nine tail phoenix inside him? Either way, the gals invite him to the couch.
In which we are purr-fect guessers… This episode, we’re wearing cat ears and giving our stance on the brand new Oscar winner for best animated feature. But let's be real, what is a silent cat going to do for 2 hours? Can dogs and cats really be friends? Which animal character is most likely to die in this movie (the capybara, duh)?
Plus, a dark beta fish story, how to sneak frogs into Hawaii, and why Sam shouldn't be a boy mom. We end with our predictions for the fabrics of the future, climate change solutions, and a much needed breakfast update.
In which we are hard-boiled eggs-perts... with special guest, We Improv founder Jake Jabbour!! In this one, we're threatening Jake with gotcha-journalism on topics such as running for office, Jay-Z and Beyonce, physical media, and Funko Pops (we hate those here).
Have any of us seen a movie this old? Is the Maltese Falcon a bird, a person, or just a MacGuffin? How many times will we bring up Mission Impossible this episode?
Plus, a Tiger King life update, lawn sign liberals, and an incendiary prediction about the future of indie improv.
In which we rise from the dead…Just like a sexy vampire, Happenstance is back, baby. In the season 3 premiere, the gals guess what happens in Sinners and ask some big, fundamental questions: Can a movie even be good anymore? Would you eat a gin-soaked raisin? Is it important that one of the Michael B. Jordans on the poster is wearing a hat?
First, Sam shares some personal Mississippi history, then the gals give a Jamie Foxx update and kick around the famous phenomena where relatives who’ve never met accidentally hook up.
Finally, they predict who will be the next Pope, and sound off on the cardinal contenders.
In which we’re back with an extra-long special episode for 4/20 Easter! On this blessed Sunday, we’re celebrating Hemp Fest 2025 by talking about four classic stoner movies: Cheech & Chong’s Up in Smoke, Harold & Kumar, How High, and Smiley Face. We’re plugged into the Matrix for this one and asking some big questions. Does Elon Musk even inhale? Is White Castle even a real place? Are we all gonna need toiletries dealers soon? When are we gonna get an old lady, “80 for Brady” style weed movie?
Plus, the against-God return of the prehistoric dire wolf, the fate of Chris Pratt’s chihuahua, and the differences between male and female stoner culture.
Peace and luv y’all, and see you soon for Season 3!
In which we Knows-feratu. In preparation for 2025, the Year of Bald, we are hairless all over, and it’s making us smarter and full of ideas. And just like real estate mogul Count Orlock himself, we’re covering a lot of ground in this one.
Like, what kind of guy does Jyo keep dating? Does the Home Depot skeleton imply the existence of Biblical angels? What does owning a cyber truck say about your body count? Is Lily Rose Depp going to win an Oscar? (Yes.)
Plus, our predictions for the first big news story of 2025, a retrospective on the first Twilight film, and the ultimate classification system for men.
Thank you all for listening! We appreciate your support. This is our last episode of the season, but Happenstance will be back in March, for Season 3...Hark!
In which we put the if in Spotify Wrapped and the más in Christmas...by giving our happenstances on every Christmas movie ever!!! Kicking off, we cover the emergence of Spotify Wrapped as its own winter holiday and the futility of holding corporations to artistic standards. Then, we review the pod's Spotify Creator Wrapped LIVE and learn that Happenstance is part of the Manosphere??
Next, we get into some semi-rapid fire happenstances for listener-submitted Christmas movies, including Red One, Krampus, Carry On on Netflix, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, and —duh— Megalopolis.
Would the Grinch do well in Calabasas? Can Gandalf go through TSA? Are people hanging dong at Christmas?
Finally, we Wrap up with our new segment, Predictions and make some guesses for 2025. Jyotsna thinks it’s gonna change us and you in ways you couldn’t imagine. Sam think Donald Trump is gonna try desperately to engage with the pop girlies (Chapel Roan, Sabrina Carpenter, etc.)...and? It’s gonna get bitchy.
In which we do an Oz-some job!!! This episode is all about the pop culture phenomenon on everyone’s minds, the marketing push taking over social media, the one thing that can get all of America to tune in… Hawk Tuah! JK, we talk about the new Wicked movie too. So, is Elphaba-green a continuation of brat summer? How is Ariana Grande really doing? And tbh, can we all agree that we NEED Hawk Tuah right now?
Plus, some sordid details from the Wicked book, updates on Kermit’s dating life, and Sam’s beautiful relationship with her dog.
(We had technical issues with the framing on this video, but stick around to the end to see Sam’s Princess Peach outfit… and if you have no idea what this is referring to, check out our YouTube channel!)
In which we meander the stream of consciousness (this makes sense if you listen to the episode...) Featuring special guest, comedian, restauranteur and Joker type guy, Danny Tee!
Yes, it's Halloween Eve, but it's also the day after Joker 2 dropped on streaming. And this ep is giving folie à trois. We cover male workplace sexual harassment, what Sam has in common with JD Vance, and The Day Danny Tee Wore a Dry-Fit Polo (and received community derision.) But, what is Danny Tee's ethnicity? Does he know what this podcast is about? And how much Cloud storage has he devoted to hole pics?
Plus, prospecting for gold as a source of extra income, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and Mark Zuckerberg's f*ckboy makeover. This episode brought to you by SOLARSOLUTIONSPRO.COM.
In which we eat crow...with special guest Chrystale Davis!!! Improviser, spooky things expert, and mother to Norman Bates (her small, White dog.) It's the Halloween ep, and we're addressing all the scariest topics, from true crime to phone scams to admitting you've never seen a classic film. But does the Crow do his own makeup? Has Bigfoot ever killed anyone? Why are twins so creepy?
Plus, woman v. bird, Ernie Hudson's rocking geriatric bod, and an extremely sought after seasonal artifact from Target.
In which we interview special correspondent, 60+ man and Bachelor watcher, Joe Gibson, aka Sam's Dad...What was his Happenstance going into the first episode? Were ~any of the men up to standard? Do old people hook up on the first date?
Plus, we review the first episode of the season, covering our old crushes, Charles L., and an argument for Bachelor in Hospice.
In which we feel Burton-ed by franchise reboots… with special guests, Little Treat!!! (Clown and streaming duo @heyKipp and @ezonlinebanking)
The hosts are sharing a mic in this one, and everyone’s sharing their hot takes on Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (yes...we watched it!) But first, are the Teletubbies a natural evolution of humanity? How would we wanna die in a Tim Burton way? And most importantly, would Beetlejuice and Sonic the Hedgehog get along?
Plus, bff chain shopping, Katy Perry’s whole deal, and why it's important to wake up with a smile 😀
In which we (betel)guese what happens in Beetlejuice...with special guest, clown, streamer, and friend, heyKipp!
Welcome to a formerly LIVE episode of Happenstance! Kipp got the gals on Twitch just in time for Halloween Summer and Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (why not BeetleTwose?) In this one, we cover everything from color theory to storing stuff in tanks. What did Kipp recently burn on the grill? What's everybody gonna be for Halloween? Which parent does Kipp think should get custody of Bluey? Is Beetlejuice allowed to be like that?
Plus, the rule of threes, the next big injectable and cringe white people passions.
We'll be back on Twitch for a livestream reveal of what really happens in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Tune in here on Thursday 9/12.
And check out heyKipp's Streamer Smackdown show in San Diego on 9/20! Tickets available here.
In which we don't give a knuck, tu vois? We didn't think we could do an hour on each of these, but here we are. In this one, we cover a wider range of topics than Emily and Knuckles, even—from truck nuts and woman wish fulfillment, to treating everybody with respect no matter how they look. But, do nudists wear shoes? Does Knuckles drink? F*ck? Gamble? How many accessories did Coco Chanel say you should take off?
Plus, the future of media as we know it, being more like Emily, and the Wayfair human trafficking conspiracy.