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Grief Stories
Grief Stories
67 episodes
6 months ago
Maureen Pollard interviews Monique about her experience of losing her twin to cancer; how hard it was to come to terms with what was happening to her sister's body while watching her deteriorate and how that trauma stayed with her. "It took years after her death for me - I understand that rumination is part of your brain processing, you can't process everything at once so you ruminate, your brain is just.. trying to just let you digest what's just happened to you. Post traumatic stress and survivor guilt, and of course being a twin and wondering.. I had never been alone before ... the bond that we had was so close, that even though we weren't always together, the nakedness that I felt - and I will use this phrase for your viewers, 'singleton' which is something I learned post-her death from other twins." Monique recommends to anyone who knows a twin or has experienced early twin loss to find support at https://twinlesstwins.org. They also discuss Monique's digital memoir project, "With Every Brush Stroke" which you can check out here: https://www.witheverybrushstroke.com
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Society & Culture
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Maureen Pollard interviews Monique about her experience of losing her twin to cancer; how hard it was to come to terms with what was happening to her sister's body while watching her deteriorate and how that trauma stayed with her. "It took years after her death for me - I understand that rumination is part of your brain processing, you can't process everything at once so you ruminate, your brain is just.. trying to just let you digest what's just happened to you. Post traumatic stress and survivor guilt, and of course being a twin and wondering.. I had never been alone before ... the bond that we had was so close, that even though we weren't always together, the nakedness that I felt - and I will use this phrase for your viewers, 'singleton' which is something I learned post-her death from other twins." Monique recommends to anyone who knows a twin or has experienced early twin loss to find support at https://twinlesstwins.org. They also discuss Monique's digital memoir project, "With Every Brush Stroke" which you can check out here: https://www.witheverybrushstroke.com
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Society & Culture
Episodes (20/67)
Grief Stories
Losing a Twin to Cancer - Monique
Maureen Pollard interviews Monique about her experience of losing her twin to cancer; how hard it was to come to terms with what was happening to her sister's body while watching her deteriorate and how that trauma stayed with her. "It took years after her death for me - I understand that rumination is part of your brain processing, you can't process everything at once so you ruminate, your brain is just.. trying to just let you digest what's just happened to you. Post traumatic stress and survivor guilt, and of course being a twin and wondering.. I had never been alone before ... the bond that we had was so close, that even though we weren't always together, the nakedness that I felt - and I will use this phrase for your viewers, 'singleton' which is something I learned post-her death from other twins." Monique recommends to anyone who knows a twin or has experienced early twin loss to find support at https://twinlesstwins.org. They also discuss Monique's digital memoir project, "With Every Brush Stroke" which you can check out here: https://www.witheverybrushstroke.com
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1 year ago
40 minutes 50 seconds

Grief Stories
Missy McLean (Registered Social Worker, Community Organizer) on Community Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Missy McLean, a Registered Social Worker and Community Organizer who works with people impacted by the toxic drug crisis, homelessness and poverty. They discuss the idea of 'Community Grief'. "When someone dies from a toxic drug poisoning, it hits people who use drugs really hard because we know that in this moment, the way the toxic drug supply is, that it's like russian roulette every time folks are using to a certain degree .. it's really, it's a marginalized grief ... like a disenfranchised grief. And so I was thinking, like, wow if we were in this space and this was a group of students let's say, and they had lost one of their piers, we would see the parachuting in of grief counselors, of crisis workers, of people to wrap around these students and to acknowledge their loss and sit with them in their pain and work with them on strategies to process their grief and how they're going to cope with this loss and all of these things. And you know how many crisis workers and grief counselors were brought to the community centre to sit with the folks who lost their friend? Not one. I've seen that neglect and that disenfranchised grief play out in a lot of different ways in our communities, especially working with folks who use drugs - who use criminalized drugs I should say - and who are experiencing homelessness; where they lose someone who was so close to them, right, because a lot of the folks when they are street involved and when they are using criminalized drugs, they are each other's family. They are each others network of support and survival, and so those losses, they cut deep but they're not recognized in the same way."
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1 year ago
37 minutes 36 seconds

Grief Stories
Emily Wisser (Founder of The Grief Collective) on Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Emily Wisser, Founder of The Grief Collective, about her experiences with grief. Emily lost her father to cancer when she was 19, and she discusses the contrast between enjoying being away at college for the first time, while at home her father was battling brain cancer and how isolating that felt for her. She talks about the ways the sadness stood out in her grief experience when she moved back home years after he passed, being in the place where her memories of him lived. They also discuss how therapy, as well as an art class helped her to heal. "Having that time, a few times a week, to just quiet your mind and sit down with some charcoal or some ink and a big sheet of paper, it was, I think, really therapeutic to me. Especially when I was, you know, really confronting some of that anxiety, it did help me have moments where I was able to just get in touch with more of that sense of calm."
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1 year ago
38 minutes 28 seconds

Grief Stories
Losing a Husband to Cancer - Vicky
Maureen Pollard interviews Vicky about losing her husband to myeloma, after surviving prostate and bladder cancer. They discuss the challenge of not having a cancer clinic where they lived, meaning they had to for drive hours back and forth for treatment. They spent so much money on hotels that they ended up having to leave their home and move closer to the clinic, adding an additional struggle of maneuvering their new apartment stairs in his state of illness. She talks about how her physical and mental health was affected as his health deteriorated, but she could still only see him with love and hope. "He's in the hospital and, this is before he died, and I stopped eating when he stopped eating. I lost 30 pounds, I wouldn't even get up to go seek water, all I could do was hold his hands and break down. And, he was so strong you know ... He wasn't getting better and I did not see that. I look at pictures now and I see how ill he was, but it's true when you look at someone through the eyes of love you don't see the illness, all you see is that beautiful face that you adore. My husband was everything to me, I mean our story was a love story." They also discuss how her friend Karen took her in after she lost everything (her home, her husband, and her own will to live) and how the Universe brought her a new friend who understood what she was going through. Both of these women lifted her up and helped her through the darkest time in her life, as did a song that her husband wrote while he was sick which you can listen to here (performed by John Sharkey): http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1715659192?ls=1&app=itunes
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1 year ago
42 minutes 50 seconds

Grief Stories
Losing a Son to Cancer - Betsy (Part 2)
Maureen Pollard once again interviews Betsy about losing her adopted son to cancer. In part 2 of this discussion, Betsy continues to talk about the way that expressive arts was helpful both in the end of her son's life, as well as in Betsy's own grief. "All through the 4 years that he was dealing with cancer, each day I began to realize more and more he really had some artistic talent. But he also just drew strength. I used to call it 'The Beautiful Distraction' because he was such a traumatized young man in many ways, and to have something to keep his mind off a procedure he was about to have - it could be a simple blood draw, it could be a major amputation - but to keep his hands moving, building, painting, sketching and drawing was important every step of the way, all the way through to his death." You can listen to Part 1 here: https://soundcloud.com/griefstories/79-betsy-fisher/
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1 year ago
33 minutes 19 seconds

Grief Stories
Losing a Son to Cancer - Betsy (Part 1)
Maureen Pollard interviews Betsy about losing her adopted son to cancer on Mother's Day weekend. They discuss the grief and loss her son had already been through in his young life, and how powerful and beautiful it was for him to then have Betsy by his side, supporting him through his cancer journey and loving him at the end of his life. Betsy talks about how much expressive arts and creativity helped him, and how talented he was: "So many things that he [drew] were those kinds of expressions of what he was feeling scared about, but also very joyful things that would get hung around our room ... We would hang his artwork off IV poles and on the backs of calendars and things on the wall just as kind of proof of life that we were existing and that he was flourishing in a strange way, even in a hospital setting he was creating and living." They also discuss the challenges of anticipatory grief that shifts into grief of loss, how Betsy struggled with her identity being a single woman who adopted and then lost a child, and how talking about him and sharing his story has helped her to feel purpose and identity confirmation.
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1 year ago
31 minutes 50 seconds

Grief Stories
Tracee Dunblazier (Spiritual Empath, Author) on Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Tracee Dunblazier, a Spiritual Empath, Shaman and award-winning Author of 'Transformative Grief: An Ancient Ritual of Healing for Modern Times' about every day grief. They discuss the importance of dedicated grieving time, of spending time with your grief, whatever you are grieving. Tracee talks about how there is every day grief: "Grief is not just about loss. We experience transitions on a daily basis, our need and ability to pivot in a situation. The coffee machine broke and now I have to go out and get coffee, because I have to have coffee, right? So we have these parameters in our life and sometimes we are required to pivot from the habits that we've created and that causes an emotional transition which is grief. So when you can recognize that, recognize that during your day you can have 20 of those, and that that builds up, so if you will give yourself a 5 minute inventory at the end of the evening or before you go to bed to really sit and breathe and recognize all the times you had to transition during your day.. give yourself the opportunity to release that energy and process how you dealt with it." Check out Tracee's book here: http://www.amazon.com/Transformative-Grief-Ancient-Ritual-Healing
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1 year ago
39 minutes 11 seconds

Grief Stories
Kailey Bradley (Counselor) on Infertility Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Kailey Bradley, a licensed professional Counselor in the state of Ohio, who specializes in grief therapy. They discuss a different type of grief - one that stems from infertility and chronic illness. Kailey talks about how she has had to grieve her life, and her future as she once imagined it, after being diagnosed with infertility as well as a chronic illness and an immune deficiency. She talks about how there are always new moments of coming to terms with her infertility, like when she became an aunt for example. She also discusses the challenges of navigating the pandemic with an immune deficiency, and how these experiences have impacted her spirituality. "Illness.. totally.. the maps that I had about how the world operated before navigating illness just didn't work anymore, so at that point I think you have these shattered assumptions and you piece together a new kind of paradigm or schema, and it's very painful work. But I'm grateful for that work, and I think my spirituality is much more mature and more nuanced and more grey now than it ever has been."
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1 year ago
27 minutes 7 seconds

Grief Stories
Losing a Wife to Leukemia - Jarie
Maureen Pollard interviews Jarie, author of 'Ride or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, a Husband's Memoir' about losing this wife to leukemia and the challenges of becoming her caretaker as newlyweds, her diagnosis coming a little over a year after they married. "You get swallowed by it, you lose yourself ... that was something that didn't happen overnight and I didn't realize, but I wasn't me anymore. I was Jane's husband, I was her caregiver, I was Captain Team Jane for lack of a better word. You lose a little bit of your humanity and not because - your sick spouse obviously doesn't want that to happen - but by necessity, and by just the sheer weight of the situation. People are going to ask how she's doing before they're going to ask how you're doing, which is totally natural." They also discuss the conflicting feelings of hope vs anticipatory grief you balance as a caretaker and partner, as well as the way this experience taught Jarie that every day is precious. Check out Jarie's Memoir here: www.amazon.com/Ride-Die-Through-Tragedy-Husbands/dp/1684632102
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1 year ago
43 minutes 9 seconds

Grief Stories
Tahmeed & Jadine (Journalists) on Campus Suicide and Communal Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Tahmeed and Jadine, Toronto-based Journalists involved in research about communal grief after suicide on University campuses. They discuss their key findings, such as how loneliness is linked to mental and physical health challenges, therefore people who are emotionally supported in grief tend to do and feel better. They also talk about the shared experience and shared struggle of a mental health crisis that students on campus experience when someone dies by suicide. "Bereavement by suicide is a specific type of bereavement that's different from a lot of other types of grief, and it comes with its own unique challenges that sort of shape what psychologists call that grief trajectory, the changing emotional experiences of grief as the days and years go by."
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1 year ago
43 minutes 48 seconds

Grief Stories
Losing Both Parents to Cancer - Ellanne
Maureen Pollard interviews Ellanne Thomson about losing both of her parents, in the span of 7 months, to cancer. They discuss how her mother was diagnosed with Lymphoma back in 2017, before then being terminally diagnosed with multiple brain tumors in 2021, giving a timeframe for her passing. "There were many many challenges as you can imagine. The biggest challenge with my mom, going through that and getting the terminal diagnosis, the biggest challenge was - and I now know it's called Anticipatory Grief - where you know this is coming but you're trying to be present because you know you have a limited time, but it's just chaos... well, in my mind it was just chaos for those couple of months in between finding out the diagnosis, finding out she had 3-6 months to live and then actually only having 2 months with her. That was a real blessing to have those 2 months, and I'm very very thankful and grateful for that, but a big challenge to walk into that every day and know there's an expiration date." Ellanne also talks about the challenge of not being able to be that present with her father, who was in Australia when he was diagnosed with lung cancer, and how an infection he picked up during chemo caused him to pass far sooner than expected. They also discuss how finding support, finding "her people" and joining a grief group helped her immensely.
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2 years ago
28 minutes 44 seconds

Grief Stories
Kim Libertini (Co-Founder of The Goodgrief App) on Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Kim Libertini, Co-Founder of The Goodgrief App - The Social Network for Loss, about her experience of compound grief, and the inability to connect in grief groups and individual therapy until she met an important friend with whom she created this App in order to help others going through the same disconnect. The Goodgrief App is a social network where grieving people can privately connect, chat, and support each other in finding a new normal. It’s available on iOS, Android and the web. You can learn more here: www.blog.goodgriefapp.com
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2 years ago
20 minutes 50 seconds

Grief Stories
Tara McGuire (Author) on Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Tara McGuire, author of 'Holden After and Before: A Love Letter for a Son Lost to Overdose', about her experience of losing a child to an accidental opioid overdose at the age of twenty-one, and the stages of grief that followed. "[Integration] makes a lot more sense to me than acceptance. Some things are completely unacceptable. But, I think what I have been doing now that you mention that, is integrating Holden's death into the fabric of my life and my family in a way that can coexist. Sometimes we talk about parallel tracks, like you can have this grief track that you're living and you can also have your life track which can have some joy in it, some peace in it, some progress in it, and the grief is still there beside you." Tara's book is referred to as 'a moving meditation on grief: a stunning book that traces Tara McGuire's excavation and documentation of the life path of her son Holden.' and you can find it here: https://taramcguire.com/holden-after-and-before/
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2 years ago
36 minutes 42 seconds

Grief Stories
Holly & Murray (Songwriting for Wellness) on Grief and Music
Maureen Pollard interviews Holly and Murray about a music program that was run for staff at a transitional shelter. This was the pilot for the Songwriting for Wellness program, which has recently launched through Toronto Songwriting School. "One of the most fulfilling developments for us in recent years has been creating songwriting programs for groups of people who have experienced loss or trauma. To formalize the program, Murray Foster has teamed up with social worker Maureen Pollard to create Songwriting for Wellness, providing programs for professionals in high-stress, trauma-exposed workplaces, and workshops for those who have experienced loss or trauma, and those in marginalized groups." You can learn more at songwritingforwellness.ca/
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2 years ago
23 minutes 41 seconds

Grief Stories
Mike Bonikowsky (Community Living Dufferin) on Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Mike Bonikowsky, a caregiver who provides direct support for people living with developmental disabilities, about providing support for individuals with intellectual disabilities who are grieving. "Never underestimate the power of just being physically present with that person ... in times of loss and in times of different kinds of tragedy, the only thing that really mattered was that I was there and I kept showing up."
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2 years ago
32 minutes 18 seconds

Grief Stories
Mitchell Consky (Author) on Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Mitchell Consky, Author of Home Safe: A Memoir of End-of-Life Care during Covid-19, about his experience of losing his father to cancer during the pandemic and how he and his family coped with their grief. "I think most of the time when someone we love is dying, there's still all of the pressures of the outside world, we still have to surrender to the hustle and bustle. But what made this experience so beautiful and surreal and bittersweet was the fact that we really had nowhere else that we needed to be. I'm a journalist, and so I leaned into my journalistic intuitions and I interviewed my dad throughout his decline ... My dad never really told many stories about his past, he lost both of his parents when he was really young and he never really was able to articulate that pain and his grief until he was dying himself. So through exploring his own grief he was also able to ultimately accept his own mortality and it was this incredible experience and all these beautiful bittersweet moments really dove-tailed and punctuated our whole pandemic experience." You can find Mitchell's book here: www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/60442737
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2 years ago
27 minutes

Grief Stories
Mali Munroe (Author, Registered Art Therapist) on Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Mali Munroe, Registered Art Therapist and Author of Acceptance: A Personal Journey of Self Discovery, about her own experience of losing her father to cancer, and about her work in grief and loss with children. "Oftentimes when people go into it they become isolated, they think 'I'm the only person going through this', and people become their own islands of isolation or loss or grief, and where healing happens is where you can meet another person and say 'hey, this is what happened for me' and that person says 'wow you know what, that happened for me, and this is how it's affected me, this is how I dealt with it' and all that." You can visit Mali's website to learn more: www.munroe.life
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2 years ago
39 minutes 58 seconds

Grief Stories
Shannon Ortiz (Clinician and founder of Light After Loss) on Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Shannon Ortiz, a Clinician and founder of Light After Loss at the Hope and Healing Centre about her experiences of loss, grief, and her work in suicide prevention as well as the support for survivors of suicide loss. "Had I not heard those words ['you can heal from trauma'] we probably wouldn't even be sitting here. Those words I needed to hear to kind of flip the switch ... I am not special, I know people get all upset when I say that, I'm not special! Your brain is my brain, and resetting the fight or flight and doing the body-based work in trauma, it works for all of us."
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2 years ago
47 minutes 14 seconds

Grief Stories
Celina Carter (The Reflection Room) on Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Celina Carter about her work with The Reflection Room. The Reflection Room is an installation by a team of researchers from the SE Research Centre and Memorial University of Newfoundland. They are studying whether reflection and storytelling are positive for people who have experienced a death or grief arising from deaths and other kinds of losses including those associated with the COVID-19 pandemic. You can learn more about The Reflection Room at www.thereflectionroom.ca
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2 years ago
37 minutes 3 seconds

Grief Stories
Chantal Fraizinger (Art Therapist) on Grief
Maureen Pollard interviews Chantal Fraizinger, an Art Therapist, about using art to heal grief. "I would say, at least when it came to my graphic novel thesis ... part of that process also included having a just a bit of a feedback form just to see how people resonated with the work that I did and their thoughts, and it was pretty, I want to say profound, just reading the response that people had to my work. A lot of people did say that they were able to also think about their grieving in the moment and just have that moment of resonance with my work, and yeah it becomes that mutual healing space because it's that whole thing of 'you're not alone', somebody else can also understand how you're feeling, and somebody has also been there, and somebody is also going through it, so yeah I would definitely say there is that mutual learning and healing that comes from sharing your art like that."
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3 years ago
23 minutes 47 seconds

Grief Stories
Maureen Pollard interviews Monique about her experience of losing her twin to cancer; how hard it was to come to terms with what was happening to her sister's body while watching her deteriorate and how that trauma stayed with her. "It took years after her death for me - I understand that rumination is part of your brain processing, you can't process everything at once so you ruminate, your brain is just.. trying to just let you digest what's just happened to you. Post traumatic stress and survivor guilt, and of course being a twin and wondering.. I had never been alone before ... the bond that we had was so close, that even though we weren't always together, the nakedness that I felt - and I will use this phrase for your viewers, 'singleton' which is something I learned post-her death from other twins." Monique recommends to anyone who knows a twin or has experienced early twin loss to find support at https://twinlesstwins.org. They also discuss Monique's digital memoir project, "With Every Brush Stroke" which you can check out here: https://www.witheverybrushstroke.com