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Friends Missing Friends
Hannah Rumsey
83 episodes
6 days ago
Host Hannah Rumsey talks with those who have experienced the death of friends, grief experts, and more, to normalize the complex grief of losing a friend in a world that often doesn’t understand. Together we can cherish and remember the friends we miss.
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Relationships
Society & Culture
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All content for Friends Missing Friends is the property of Hannah Rumsey and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Host Hannah Rumsey talks with those who have experienced the death of friends, grief experts, and more, to normalize the complex grief of losing a friend in a world that often doesn’t understand. Together we can cherish and remember the friends we miss.
Show more...
Relationships
Society & Culture
Episodes (20/83)
Friends Missing Friends
83. Announcing the Friends Missing Friends Collective: a new community for friend-loss grievers

I’m so excited to announce a new offering!! It is the Friends Missing Friends Collective, a loving and supportive community for friend-loss grievers.

I have found, time and time again, how we friend-loss grievers desire community where we can meet and gather with others who are also grieving friends. How we need a space where we can feel seen, heard, and understood.

So, I wanted to create a friend-loss community via an affordable monthly membership—so folks can join anytime and stay as long as they need.

 

Membership includes:

  • 2 virtual grief groups a month
  • A one-on-one session
  • A digital resource library
  • A Private Discord Server (so you can chat with other friend-loss grievers any time!)


SPECIAL OFFER: If you email me or fill out the interest form before December 31st, I will give you the special lifetime “Founding Friends” price of $12/month—because you will be a Founding member! After launch, the general price will be $20.

All you have to do to hold your spot is:

  • Email me at friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com
  • OR, fill out an interest form at friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup


Y’ALL I’m so excited!! Fireworks went off inside me when I decided to move forward with this – this can grow into something truly beautiful, I just know it.

Because when we come together—healing happens.

 

RESOURCES:

Grief Groups:

Register your interest for the Friends Missing Friends Collective and get 2 virtual grief groups a month: friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup


Memorial Books:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

 

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

 

Show more...
3 weeks ago
6 minutes 44 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
82. Reclaiming a Joyful, Meaningful Life after Loss: with Tara Accardo

In today's episode, I chat with Tara Accardo—a Grief & Transformational Life coach and the host of the podcast Life With Grief—about finding a joyful, fulfilling, and meaningful life again after loss.

Grief expert David Kessler describes this as the “sixth stage of grief” in his book Finding Meaning. Now to be crystal clear: this is NOT referring to finding meaning in the death or horrific event, it’s referring to finding meaning in your life after the loss.

“Finding meaning” is different for everyone. It might involve completely changing your life; it might be folded into small but significant moments. For many people, it’s when we try to answer the question “what now?” after a loved one’s death. Tara and I talk about this, and much more, including:

  • Finding solace and healing in micro-moments
  • How the grieving process cannot be rushed
  • Reclaiming power over your life
  • Coping during acute grief
  • Being curious and giving yourself grace


QUOTES:

“We are truly so much more in charge of our healing and our coping than we think we are…we are in charge of how we grieve, how we cope, our happiness, what our day to day looks like; there is so much that is actually within our power.” –Tara

“If you look at it from a place of curiosity, you’re giving yourself much more grace.” –Tara

“From personal experience, that ‘what now’ can be so overwhelming. And it’s ever evolving, I feel like I’ve gone through several ‘what nows’…” –Hannah

 “There’s a whole life now, that you have to ‘figure out’ without that person.” –Tara

“The idea of continuing a relationship with them even after they died…for years I was like, ‘oh the friendship was over,’ after my friend died. But then I’m like, wait I can keep this friendship going somehow. And the ‘how’ is the journey, figuring out how to do that. That is also folded into the finding meaning and finding new purpose.” –Hannah

“After a loss that rocks your world; it's like your life was thishouse of cards, and it all falls, and you have to build an entirely new house of cards.” –Hannah

“I feel like a lot of people want to rush the grief, they just want to feel some peace and just not hurt so bad… it can’t be rushed, but it can certainly be helped along.” –Tara

 

MORE ABOUT TARA:

Tara Accardo (she/her) is a Grief and Transformational life Coach and host of the Life With Grief Podcast. After losing her parents to cancer within six months of each other, her journey of grieving led her to create Losses Become Gains—a community for fellow grievers that serves tools, inspiration, and guidance on how to navigate grief, loss, and navigating life with both in tow. Through her podcast, one-on-one coaching and other digital resources, Tara’s passion and calling to support fellow grievers runs deep!

 

RESOURCES:

Connect with Tara:

IG: @lossesbecomegains

IG and TikTok: @lifewithgriefpodcast

Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/

Life with Grief podcast

The book Tara recommended: The Grieving Brain, by Mary-Frances O’Connor

Grief Groups:

Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Memorial Books:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get$50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

 

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

Show more...
1 month ago
46 minutes 12 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
81. Grief Note: How I Untangled a Toxic Belief

In today’s Grief Note episode I talk about a time when I untangled a toxic belief—or story—I was holding related to my friend Lauren’s death.

It’s not uncommon for us to create stories around our loss. David Kessler talks about how when we create a story “that is not true and is not helpful,” we can “get stuck in the narrative.” In other words, stories can complicate our grief.

There are a million different stories we may tell ourselves around a loss. Such as, “it’s my fault they died,” “I was a bad friend/daughter/partner/parent because _____,” “I will never be happy again,” and on and on and on.

I found that I was able to untangle my story—which had become a knot in my heart—by writing about it. By switching perspectives, I was able to recognize that 1.) my story wasn’t true or helpful, and 2.) I had the power to stop believing it.

 

RESOURCES:

Grief Groups:

Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Memorial Books:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get$50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

 

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

Show more...
2 months ago
11 minutes 1 second

Friends Missing Friends
80. The Myth of Emotional Severance: 2 Girls With Grief

In today's episode, I chat with Rachel Dwyer and Kendel Rogers—the co-hosts of the podcast 2 Girls with Grief about integrating grief into your life, rather than emotionally severing.

What do we mean by integrate? We mean rather than shoving the grief aside, pretending it doesn’t exist, and putting on a mask to the world—we embrace the grief, feel it fully, and show the world our WHOLE selves.

We make comparisons to the show Severance (don’t worry, no spoilers!), and how it is a perfect metaphor for the idea of emotional severance as we grieve. All three of us used to emotionally sever, and through finding community, digging deep into our emotions, and rewriting our stories, we integrated grief into our life and now feel much more whole.  


QUOTES:

“I used to see my grief as a dark shadow that followed me and trying to like shove it away and put it in the corner and pretend it wasn’t there. And now I’ve learned how to incorporate it into me, because it’s what has happened.” – Kendel

“Because grief is so misunderstood, I misunderstood my own grief. I didn’t know what to feel and I felt so lost and sad, but it just seemed like you’re supposed to be over it and you’re supposed to move on from it…I just felt like I was in 2 different worlds: I portrayed myself as fine, but was crying at night or just really sad. And it was a really weird feeling of having two lives.” – Rachel

"Grievers still deserve a happy life and grievers still deserve joy." – Kendel

“I thought getting up every day and not staying in bed all day,was me doing everything. No one would look at me and be like ‘she’s depressed’… So in my head I’m like, I’m doing fine…it took a while, and it wasn’t until last year that I was like ‘I’m going to try something different.’” – Rachel

“It's almost like now I'm in this walk with my grief. I'm not running from it. I'm not hiding from it.” – Kendel

“How can I experience real joy WITH grief, and not separately? Because before it was always like, I’m happy but my grief is separate. But it’s like, no it’s all together, and how do I make that make sense to me in this world?” – Rachel

“If you’re going to try to outrun your grief, it will come back. You can’t hide from it, you can’t shove it away in a box, we’ve tried that and you can learn from us.” – Kendel


MORE ABOUT RACHEL AND KENDEL:

Rachel Dwyer is based in San Francisco and Co-hosts the 2 Girls with Grief Podcast & the Griefy Girls Book Club with Kendel Rogers.

Kendel Rogers is one half of the 2 Girls with Grief podcast & the Griefy Girls Book Club. After losing her father in 2020, she wanted to have more in depth conversations about death and grief. Along with destigmatizing the taboo around death and grief, she volunteers with The Warm Place, a grief support center for children in Fort Worth, TX.


RESOURCES:

Connect with 2 Girls with Grief:

IG: @racheldwyerinsf / @2girlswithgriefpod / @griefygirlsbookclub

TikTok: @racheldwyerinsf / @2girlswithgriefpod

Grief Groups:

Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Memorial Books:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

 

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

Show more...
2 months ago
1 hour 1 minute 31 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
79. Yoga Philosophies and Grief: with Des Mathews

In today's episode, I chat with guest Des Mathews (they them), a Yoga Guide and Grief & Death Doula, about the intersections between yoga philosophies and grief.

Key takeaways:

  • the role of Ahimsa (non-harm, one of the 5 Yamas) in self-compassion during grief
  • surrendering to emotions with Ishvaraparidhana (divine surrender, one of the 5 Niyamas)
  • Supporting somatic healing and nervous system regulation with Asana (the movements and poses)
  • Cultural differences in grieving
  • friend-loss grief
  • how capitalism has contributed to a society that devalues friendships
  • and more!

 

QUOTES:

“…feelings might come up and it’s completely normal in our journey with grief, and with that I recommend more gentle yoga or restorative practices.”

“yoga can be used as a resource for calming our nervous system.”

“there’s no timeline for our grief, and it’s very cyclical. When we can come to that place of acceptance, it goes back to the compassion piece where we’re able to give ourselves and others more grace.”

 “Traditionally yoga was seen as a practice to end suffering and cause liberation, cause freedom.”

 “You're only allowed a certain amount of days off if your mom dies or your partner dies, but what about your best friend? Your best friend could have been your life partner,right? Society just doesn't seem to care as much about that. And again, that goes into the whole diminishing of it, which makes us feel like we're kind of gaslighting ourselves in a way. Like, did this person even exist? Because it's not recognized, people aren't showing me that it matters.”


MORE ABOUT DES:

Des is a Queer, South East Asian trauma-informed Yoga Guide and Grief and Death Doula who is a settler on Treaty 20 and the Williams Treaties in Nogojiwanong-Peterborough, Ontario. They host yoga practices, grief circles, and workshops in person and virtually. They are intentional about where they show up and lead with values of generosity, interdependence, compassion, honesty, and authenticity.


RESOURCES:

Connect with Des:

IG: @death.and.yoga

Email: des.doesyoga@gmail.com

Des’s recommendation to dive deeper into yoga: SusannaBarkataki at https://www.susannabarkataki.com/

Grief Groups:

Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Lifebooks:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get$50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

 

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

Show more...
3 months ago
28 minutes 16 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
78. Grief Note: feeling stuck in a liminal space

In today’s Grief Note episode I share my thoughts about liminal space – a term I read about in the book “The Art of Holding Space” by Heather Plett.

 

In the book, Heather Plett describes liminal space as: “a period in which something—social hierarchy, culture, belief, tradition, identity, etc.—has been dissolved and the new thing has not yet emerged to take its place.” It’s “strange, vast, and sometimes uncomfortable, a space full of complex and often overlapping emotions.”

 

When I read all that I thought, welp. Crap. That’s definitely what I’m in the midst of right now. 

 

So. In this Grief Note, I talk about it! Because when you feel lost, I figure the best thing you can do is voice your lost-nessout loud. After all, liminal space is very intertwined with grief.

 

RESOURCES:

The Art of Holding Space by Heather Plett

Grief Groups:Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Lifebooks: Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/


GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

Show more...
4 months ago
11 minutes 42 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
77. Finding New Purpose after Traumatic Loss: with Brendan Shaw

In today's episode, I chat with guest Brendan Shaw about navigating the many complex layers of tragedy and grief, and finding new purpose in life, after a traumatic loss. Since the 2022 murder of his brother, Philip, Brendan has been using storytelling, social media, and community work to process his own grief and help others feel less alone in theirs.

We discuss:

  • Processing his feelings and thoughts through social media, and how his videos have resonated with millions of strangers around the world
  • Exploring healing through small shifts: even 1% at a time
  • Finding purpose in life again after a traumatic loss
  • Dealing with the broken legal system
  • And more



QUOTES:

“…even a small shift in mindset can make a huge difference moving forward for somebody. If through this pain I’m experiencing on a daily basis I can give any kind of insight to somebody who’s hurting also, I don’t know any better purpose.”


“Philip was objectively one of the best people you would have ever known. There wasn’t a single person who didn’t absolutely love him. He was charming and funny and witty. He had a boyish, childish playfulness to him…sweet and funny and real and knew how to deliver a stupid corny dad joke at the right time…he’s just the best.”


“When you lose someone really important to you, all of the sudden time takes on a completely different meaning. A day can feel like forever, but then you wake up and you’re like how am I three years into this? I haven’t seen my brother in three years? That’s not possible. He’s right at the forefront of my mind.”

 

“When you’ve gone through those super low lows, where you just feel like you’re about to die of sadness…but then somehow, you did get out of it…once you do that enough times, you have that repetition – now you have the muscle built where you can maybe start to step outside it and recognize when you’re in the moment and go ‘okay, I have been here before. I’ve also gotten out of this before, and I know that it will happen.’”

 

MORE ABOUT BRENDAN:

Brendan is the founder of The Phil With Love Foundation, a nonprofit created in Philip’s memory, and creates content as "BrendanShawGrief" on social media that speaks to the often invisible, long-term impact of loss. Through honest conversation and a willingness to share what most people shy away from, Brendan attempts to brings comfort, validation, and connection to anyone walking through life with grief.


RESOURCES:

Connect with Brendan:

IG, Tiktok: @BrendanShawGrief

Website: BrendanShawGrief.com

Grief Groups:

Interested in joining a friend-losspeer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Lifebooks:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get$50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

 

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

Show more...
5 months ago
57 minutes 59 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
76. Remembering Poppy Chancellor: with The Grief Gang's Amber Jeffrey

In today's episode, guest Amber Jeffrey shares stories about her beloved friend Poppy Chancellor, who died in September of 2023. The two of them met through their grief work in 2019 – Amber with The Grief Gang, and Poppy with The GriefCase – and what followed was a deep, loving friendship and creative partnership.


QUOTES:

“That’s a real aspect of friendship loss that maybe isn’t spoken about is how, when you choose people to be in your life and you actively build a friendship – and for that to die, for them to die – is catastrophic. Our friends are the foundations in our lives.”

“It’s so difficult to explain her, because she was just so one ofone...to try and do that justice, to try and tell people about her, just felt like I was always failing.”

“We straightaway realized we had the commonalities of our passion for grief. As we got to know each other, we really enjoyed each other outside of grief...like our shared love of music, or just silliness...we could just chew the fat about anything, and we just had a lot of fun.”

“The grief of losing her is just insurmountable...Poppy cracked my world right open. She was technicolor.”

 

MORE ABOUT AMBER:

Amber Jeffrey is a celebrated podcast host, mentor and community facilitator. Her work & podcast, The Grief Gang, specialises in breaking down the stigma around the topic that is grief one conversation at a time. By sharing her own experiences of loss as well as the stories of others on both her show and online platforms.

Through Amber’s passionate voice she has gone on to deliver talks & panel discussions at the University of Cambridge, Oxford, Westminster for the UK commission on bereavement and many other corporate entities. The podcast has gained traction in its life span of 5 years and has been recognised and amplified by many news & media outlets such as The BBC, Vogue, Women’s health, The Guardian and many more. With interviews on Woman’s hour, Channel 5 & BBC 1Xtra, Amber is no stranger to being behind the mic and delivering compelling, insightful and humorous interviews on the topic of grief.

 

RESOURCES:

Connect with Amber:

IG, Tiktok, Facebook: The Grief Gang

Website: www.thegriefgang.com

Grief Groups:

Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Lifebooks:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get$50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

 

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

Show more...
5 months ago
1 hour 2 minutes 23 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
75. Grief notes: creative blocks & continuing my friendship with Lauren

Today’s episode is a little different: I share my thoughts on various grief topics – while taking a walk! I was inspired by Amber Jeffrey’s recent episode on her awesome podcast The Grief Gang, and wanted to give it a try (all credit goes to her for the idea!). Think of it as a voice note from a friend :)

I’ll still continue to do interviews on the pod, but will also have these Grief Notes every once in a while (especially now that summer is coming to Chicago!)

 

In this Grief Note, I muse about:

  • Creative blocks I’m having with my memoir
  • Continuing my friendship with Lauren
  • My desire for community
  • And more!

 

RESOURCES:

Grief Groups: Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Lifebooks: Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/


GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

Show more...
5 months ago
9 minutes 44 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
74. Red Bird: Honoring her Mother’s Legacy, with Diandra Ford-Wing

Just a heads up: today's episode discusses mother-loss. If that's activating or upsetting, please take care of yourself. David Kessler has great resources for mother-loss grief at mothersdaygrief.com.

In today's episode, I chat with Diandra Ford-Wing, a dynamic and innovative Sales Director whose profound journey through grief ignited her passion for storytelling. After the sudden loss of her mother, Diandra made the courageous decision to pause her thriving career, allowing herself the space to heal and reflect. This transformative experience ultimately inspired her debut novel, "Red Bird," a heartfelt exploration of loss and resilience. 

 

Diandra and I chat about:

  • How we all express and experience grief differently
  • Using writing as a tool for processing grief
  • Signs from our loved ones
  • Honoring our loved ones’ legacies
  • And more!


RESOURCES:

Mother-loss Resources:

mothersdaygrief.com


Connect with Diandra:

IG: www.instagram.com/diandrafordwing

Website: booksbydiandra.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/diandrafordwing


Grief Groups: If you’re interested in being a part of avirtual peer support friend-loss group, fill out the interest form at ⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup

 

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!


Email: friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

 

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

Show more...
6 months ago
36 minutes 32 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
73. Sisterhood Behind Bars: Poems from Prison with Toby Dorr

Today I chat with Toby Dorr, author of Living with Conviction and You Are Not Your Worst Mistake: Poems From Prison. Toby is a speaker and advocate for second chances and criminal justice reform. If you haven’t already, check out my other episode with Toby (18. Living With Conviction) – you don’t want to miss it! In this episode, Toby and I talk about her poetry book You Are Not Your Worst Mistake, and the unexpected sisterhood and lifelong friendships that she experienced while behind bars.  

 

Toby and I chat about:

  • The power of stories and poetry
  • The importance of sisterhood and true friendship
  • Poems from her book
  • Self-acceptance
  • And more!

 

Resources:

To get in touch with Toby or learn more about her, check out her websites and podcast!

Websites: https://tobydorr.com/

https://2dorrsdown.com/

⁠https://fiercepublications.com/⁠

⁠https://theunleashedseries.com/

Check out her journals here: https://fiercegracemovement.org/

Podcast: Fierce Conversations with Toby

 

Get in touch:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s SO appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

 

Grief Groups: If you’re interested in being a part of a virtual peer support friend-loss group, fill out the interest form at friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup

 

Email: friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends

Leave a VM at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

 

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so. Thanks y’all! Sending you love!).

Show more...
6 months ago
41 minutes 55 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
72. Unlearning Society’s Toxic Views on Grief: with Ken Barringer

Today I chat with Ken Barringer, a licensed mental health counselor who provides individual and group counseling support to grievers as well as delivering training and consultation to schools, businesses and organizations following a loss. Ken is an adjunct faculty member at Lesley University in Cambridge Mass where he designed and teaches a course in grief. Additionally he produces a monthly newsletter and hosts the podcast Grief in Brief.

 

Ken and I chat about:

  • The difference between empathy and compassion
  • How crucial it is to ACKNOWLEDGE someone’s grief
  • How grief can manifest in any or all of the 5planes: emotional, physical, cognitive, behavioral, and spiritual
  • Grief and attachment
  • How to respond with compassion to someone who isgrieving
  • How grief evolves over time
  • Self-compassion
  • How grief is portrayed in the media
  • And more!

 

Resources:

To get in touch with Ken or learn more about him, check out his website and podcast!

Website: www.healingforgriefandloss.com

Podcast: Grief in Brief

 

Get in touch:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

 

Grief Groups: If you’re interested in being a part of a virtualpeer support friend-loss group, fill out the interest form at friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup

 

Email: friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends

Leave a VM at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

 

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share your voice clip on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so. Thanks y’all! Sending you love!).

Show more...
7 months ago
45 minutes 6 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
71. Update on My Grief Journey: True-Crime, Rage, and Justice

Hi friends! Today’s episode is quite different. Rather than an interview, this is me giving you a real-time update of my grief journey right after hearing some very important news about the man responsible for my friend Lauren’s death. This is sort of a Part 2 to episode 68 (My friend’s death is part of a True Crime. Can I talk about it?), though you don’t have to listen to that one for this one to make sense. I go into the crime in a bit more detail in this episode, so it could be triggering or upsetting.

 

TRIGGER WARNING: sexual assault and rape.

 

Today I talk about:

  • Gratuitous versus conscientious true crime
  • The pursuit of justice
  • The complexity of grief intertwined with rage
  • Forgiveness is a personal journey
  • Finding hope in justice
  • What happens after justice? Where do I put my grief?  

 

Resources:

https://grief.com/resources/

If you or anyone you know is struggling, you can also reach out to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, 988.

 

Get in touch:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

 

If you’re interested in being a part of a friend-loss grief group, fill out the interest form at friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup

 

Email: friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends

Leave a VM at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. I will respond! (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so. Thanks y’all! Sending you love)

Show more...
8 months ago
19 minutes 42 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
70. Friend-Loss is a Disenfranchised Grief: with Rebecca Feinglos

Today I chat with Rebecca Feinglos, grief expert and founder of Grieve Leave. Rebecca is a certified grief support specialist, startup founder, and former state and local policy advisor. Rebecca founded Grieve Leave in 2021 as a way to document her experience on a year-long grief sabbatical, and process her own grief and loss— she lost her mother in her teens, her father suddenly in 2020, and her marriage in a drawn-out divorce. Grieve Leave has grown into a global community of 30,000 with online reach well into the millions that provides tangible takeaways, resources, and a healthy dose of humor, creating an entire movement around taking intentional time to grieve.

 

Rebecca and I chat about:

  • How friend-loss is a disenfranchised grief, and how that affects our grieving process
  • Rebecca’s dear friend Courtney, who died 3 weeks before recording this episode – the complexity of the grief, Courtney’s celebration of life, and more
  • The state of bereavement leave in workplaces (spoiler alert: it’s not great), and how it could be better
  • If you’re unsure whether or not you should attend the funeral – attend the funeral!
  • Grief is not logical
  • The limit to grief (and love) do not exist!
  • How grief can coexist with joy
  • And more!

 

Resources:

To get in touch with Rebecca or learn more about her, check out her website, podcast, and socials!

Website: Grieveleave.com

Podcast: Grief'd Up The Podcast

Socials: @grieveleave

 

Rebecca’s book recommendation:

Grief is Love by Marisa Renee Lee

 

Some of my fave quotes from this episode:

“Grief will suffocate you if you don't make room for it.”

“We need more grief-informed workplaces.”

“Grief and love are totally intertwined.”

“Always go to the funeral.”

“Grief isn't logical.”

“Your grief is valid, no matter the relationship.”

“The limit to grief does not exist.” (catch the Mean Girls reference here?)

“A life well lived is full of grief.”

“You have built close relationships with people if you are grieving.”

“The grief that we feel is totally parallel to the amount of joy we’ve experienced in our lives.”

 

Get in touch:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

 

If you’re interested in being a part of a friend-grief group, fill out the interest form at friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup

 

Email: friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends

Leave a VM at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

 

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. I will respond! (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so. Thanks y’all! Sending you love!).

Show more...
9 months ago
1 hour 5 minutes 42 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
69. The History and Evolution of Female Friendships

Today’s episode is all about friendships. I talk to my guest Sydney about the book “Text Me When You Get Home: The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship” by Kayleen Schaefer. This book includes history, sociological perspectives, research, and more, about how female friendships have evolved and changed over the years. (Surprise surprise, the Patriarchy has impacted how female friendships have been treated throughout history. So, yeah -- some of the history might make you mad…)

Sydney and I chat about:

  • How friendships have been valued differently over the years
  • The “tend and befriend” response to stress
  • How there’s so much focus on one friend or partner being your “everything”
  • How friendships are portrayed in the media
  • How throughout history, classical philosophers and religious leaders told women to not befriend or trust other women (ugh!!)
  • And more!

 

 Resources:

Read “Text Me When You Get Home” by Kayleen Schaefer: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35268117-text-me-when-you-get-home


Get in touch:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

If you’re interested in being a part of a friend-loss grief group, fill out the interest form at friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup

 

Email: friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends

Leave a VM at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

 

Feel free to reach out by email or VM. I will respond! (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so. Thanks y’all!).

Show more...
11 months ago
37 minutes 50 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
68. My Friend’s Death is Part of a True Crime. Can I Talk About it?

Today it’s just me, thinking out loud about something I’ve been grappling with for a while: if my friend died in a situation that is now a True Crime, can I talk about it?

I speak about this struggle, and also what I learned in Lilly Dancyger's essay collection "First Love" about how to engage in conscientious, rather than gratuitous, True-Crime.


Resources:

Read “The Hot One” by Carolyn Murnick: https://www.carolynmurnick.com/the-hot-one

Read “First Love” by Lilly Dancyger: https://www.lillydancyger.com/books

 

Get in touch:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

If you’re interested in being a part of a friend-grief group, fill out the interest form at friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup

 

Email: friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends

Leave a VM at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

 

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. I will respond! (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so. Thanks y’all!).

Show more...
1 year ago
12 minutes 5 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
67. Grieving a Friend You’re Disconnected From

Today we’re hearing from Ariel, a listener who shares her story of grieving a friend she was disconnected from at the time of their death. It’s so important to talk about this, and I don’t think we talk about it enough.

Thank you so much, Ariel, for reaching out and sharing your story.

 

Resources:

If you’re interested in being a part of a friend-grief group, fill out the interest form at friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup

 

Get in touch:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends

Leave a VM at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

 

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. I will respond! (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so. Thanks y’all!).

Show more...
1 year ago
11 minutes 41 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
66. Grieving a Friend Who Betrayed You

How do you process your grief when an ex-friend has passed away?

Today I talk to Alex Kuisis about the complicated and messy grief that can come after an ex-friend’s death – in her case, the death of a friend who had majorly betrayed her—falsely accusing her of 7 felonies she did not commit (which she details in her memoir Truth Matters, Love Wins).

 

Alex describes the complex tangle of feelings that came with this kind of loss, and how she chooses to focus on the happy memories, rather than the bad. We also talk about signs from loved ones who have passed, deciding how we want to remember someone, assigning meaning in our life, and more.

I want to mention too, that grieving a former friend/ex friend/distanced friend, whatever you want to call it—can look a million different ways. Alex’s experience might be very different from yours—and both are valid. We all grieve in different colors and shades. It’s the beauty of the universality and also the complexity of the human experience.

If you haven’t already, listen to my other episode with Alex (Episode 5: My Best Friend Katie). You can learn more about Alex at www.goaskalex.org

 

Resources:

Get your copy of Alex Kuisis’ book Truth Matters, Love Wins at https://www.goaskalex.org/truthmatterslovewins.html

 

Get in touch:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!


Email: friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends

Leave a VM at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

 

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. I will respond!

Show more...
1 year ago
46 minutes 22 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
65. How to be a Grief Ally

So you’ve sent flowers and cards to the bereaved, and attended the funeral. Now what?

If you’ve ever wondered how to support your loved ones who are grieving – far beyond the initial weeks of grief – you don’t want to miss this episode. My conversation today is with author and psychotherapist Aly Bird about her book Grief Ally, which teaches us how to support the bereaved.

 

We talk about:

  • Her book Grief Ally and how to support the bereaved
  • How to use love languages in your support
  • Supporting the bereaved WILL involve making mistakes and that’s okay!
  • Secondary losses
  • And more

 

Aly Bird is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) who is changing the way our culture recognizes and supports those who are grieving. Aly is the author of Grief Ally: Helping People You Love to Cope with Death, Loss, and Grief.

Beyond writing, Aly offers virtual therapy and coaching to youth and adults in advance of death or after as well as supporting individuals who are actively dying themselves. Aly is also a speaker who is passionate about teaching beginners that grief is unique to every individual, natural to being a human being, and deserving of more attention than is usually given in the world today.

 

To learn more about Aly, visit www.alybird.com

Connect with Aly on social media @thealybird

Join her Facebook Group Grief Ally Nation: https://www.facebook.com/groups/880590376440855/

 

Resources:

Get your copy of Aly Bird’s book Grief Ally at https://alybird.com/book/

 

Get in touch:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review —it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!


Email: friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends

If you have a question, want to reach out, or want to share a story with the podcast listeners, leave a VM at our google voice number: 312-291-1781

Show more...
1 year ago
44 minutes 30 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
64. Live Life with Death in Mind: Words of Wisdom from an End of Life Doula

Today I talk to Jenna Golias, the founder of The Light Hereafter. She is a Registered Nurse, End of Life Doula, Grief Educator, and Energy Practitioner. Her mission is to not only change how we provide end of life care, but to create a world where we no longer fear the end of it. Providing mind, body, and soul support at the end of life, she is dedicated to making the transition one of comfort and peace. 

You can learn more about Jenna here:

IG: @thelighthereafter

Website: https://www.thelighthereafter.com/


On today's episode, Jenna and I talk about the work she does as an End of Life Doula (which is another word for Death Doula), how our society deals with grief, how grief has affected how we approach life, and so much more.

We also talk about:

  • how our attachment style affects our grief
  • how regularly thinking about death and mortality can increase happiness
  • living in the present moment
  • what our End of Life plans would be
  • and more!

 

Resources:

Find out more about End of Life Doulas here: https://inelda.org/

Find an End of Life Doula near you: https://inelda.org/find-a-doula/

 

Get in touch:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

 

You can send in your questions to friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com, send a voice clip on the Spotify for Podcasts page https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends, and follow us on IG @friendsmissingfriends. For more information, you can visit our website: friendsmissingfriends.com.

Show more...
1 year ago
53 minutes 13 seconds

Friends Missing Friends
Host Hannah Rumsey talks with those who have experienced the death of friends, grief experts, and more, to normalize the complex grief of losing a friend in a world that often doesn’t understand. Together we can cherish and remember the friends we miss.