81. Grief Note: How I Untangled a Toxic Belief

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Friends Missing Friends

Hannah Rumsey

83 episodes

6 days ago

Host Hannah Rumsey talks with those who have experienced the death of friends, grief experts, and more, to normalize the complex grief of losing a friend in a world that often doesn’t understand. Together we can cherish and remember the friends we miss.

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Relationships

Society & Culture

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81. Grief Note: How I Untangled a Toxic Belief

Friends Missing Friends

11 minutes 1 second

2 months ago

81. Grief Note: How I Untangled a Toxic Belief

In today’s Grief Note episode I talk about a time when I untangled a toxic belief—or story—I was holding related to my friend Lauren’s death.

It’s not uncommon for us to create stories around our loss. David Kessler talks about how when we create a story “that is not true and is not helpful,” we can “get stuck in the narrative.” In other words, stories can complicate our grief.

There are a million different stories we may tell ourselves around a loss. Such as, “it’s my fault they died,” “I was a bad friend/daughter/partner/parent because _____,” “I will never be happy again,” and on and on and on.

I found that I was able to untangle my story—which had become a knot in my heart—by writing about it. By switching perspectives, I was able to recognize that 1.) my story wasn’t true or helpful, and 2.) I had the power to stop believing it.

RESOURCES:

Grief Groups:

Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Memorial Books:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get$50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

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