To work with me personally please visit getclarity.co.za In this episode of Fresh Perspective, Francois explores one of the most common and quietest struggles many of us face: being relentlessly hard on ourselves. Beneath the surface of high standards and self-discipline often lies fear, fear of failure, rejection, or not being enough. Francois unpacks how the inner judge masquerades as responsibility but is really emotional avoidance in disguise. Drawing from his coaching work and psychology research, he guides listeners through understanding the difference between the Judge and the Coach within, one condemns, the other instructs. You will learn how to shift from self-punishment to self-leadership, how to identify the beliefs that keep your worth conditional, and how to respond to mistakes with clarity rather than cruelty. Through the story of kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, this episode offers a reminder that our cracks do not disqualify us; they reveal where the light gets in. If you have ever felt trapped by your own high expectations or inner criticism, this conversation will help you lay down the whip and pick up the tools of awareness, compassion, and self-trust.

For more resources.In this episode of Fresh Perspective, we take a closer look at one of the most subtle traps of modern life — the feeling of progress that comes from staying busy. Francois explores how our endless checklists, colour-coded calendars, and constant activity can quietly become a form of productive avoidance. We tick every box, respond to every email, keep the engine running — yet deep down, we sense we’re circling the same place. Through simple language and thoughtful reflection, this episode unpacks: Why we confuse movement with progress. How busyness keeps us safe from facing deeper fears. The emotional comfort we get from doing what we already know. How to recognise when your checklist has become a hiding place. A simple daily question to help you shift from “busy” to “brave.” You’ll hear why the checklist isn’t the enemy — it’s the mirror. And how, when we see it clearly, it can reveal what truly matters most. If you’ve ever ended a full day wondering why all your effort still feels empty, this episode will help you pause, breathe, and find direction beyond the boxes. Because real growth doesn’t happen when the list is finished — it happens when you start what’s not on it.

To work with me: Book a Private Consultation or take a Complimentary assessment.   This episode explains that the uncomfortable emotions we avoid are doorways to the breakthroughs we want. It distinguishes three ways we engage with feelings — intellectualizing, intuiting, and instinctual sensations — and shows how overthinking keeps us stuck. Practical advice: pause when you notice anxiety or tension, allow the feeling to intensify and fully feel it until it passes. Doing so lifts the heaviness, restores presence, and helps you function and connect more fully in life.

If you like this kind of content take my complimentary assessment to find ways to unlock more of your potential.

For a Complimentary Life Coaching Assessment click here. In this episode of Fresh Perspective, we explore the profound concept of freedom and its intrinsic connection to the present moment. Through insights from Viktor Frankl and Krishnamurti, we discover how freedom is not something to be achieved in the future, but an inner liberation available in the now. By facing the present moment and not being trapped in thoughts of the past or anxieties about the future, we can experience true freedom. Embrace the power of now to break free from invisible constraints and live a life filled with love, joy, and conscious choices.getclarity.co.za

Visit getclarity.co.za for more resources. In this episode of Fresh Perspective, we continue exploring our most important relationship, our relationship with time. After looking at love in the last episode, today’s focus is on joy. But not the shallow joy of distractions or quick fixes. The deep, soul-filling joy that can only be experienced in the present moment. We explore the paradox that the path to joy is often unfamiliar and uncomfortable. By avoiding difficult emotions like sorrow, anger, or fear, we unknowingly avoid joy as well. Drawing on the words of Brené Brown, Kahlil Gibran, and the wisdom of scripture, this episode unpacks how grief, struggle, and emotional honesty carve out the space within us to hold more joy. With personal reflections and gentle guidance, this conversation invites you to stop numbing and start feeling. Because when we embrace the whole emotional landscape of time, even the hard parts, we expand our capacity to encounter joy in its fullest, most transformative form. Join me for The Unfamiliar and Uncomfortable Path Towards Deep Joy and discover how embracing sorrow and struggle can open you to the deep joy you were made for.

If you ever need my help, simply go to getclarity.co.zaIn this episode of Fresh Perspective, we delve deeper into the idea that our relationship with time is our most important relationship. We explore how being present in the moment allows us to experience powerful human states like love, joy, and freedom. The episode discusses how fear of intimacy with the present moment often leads us to dwell on the past or worry about the future, which prevents us from fully engaging with life. The importance of cherishing the present moment, regardless of whether it is painful or pleasant, is emphasized as a way to truly connect with reality and ourselves. Join us next week as we take a closer look at the states of joy and freedom. Much love Francois

To unlock more of your potential go to: getclarity.co.za   In this episode of Fresh Perspective, we explore the concept of the most important relationship in your life and discuss why it might not be what you initially think. Join us as we embark on a journey to understand the significance of your relationship with time. This topic is part of an ongoing process of writing a new book, delving deeper into how our interaction with time affects all other aspects of our lives—from marriage and parenting to personal growth and spirituality. We discuss the three ways we can 'dance' with time: spending, wasting, and investing it, and how recognizing and valuing time can transform your overall quality of life. Learn how to move in harmony with time to bring more clarity, meaning, and balance to your daily routines. Remember, if you change your mind, you can transform your life. Join me next time for more fresh perspectives. Bye!

In this episode of Fresh Perspective, we delve into the profound impact of the inner voice on shaping identity. Your inner dialogue, whether subtle or striking, sculpts your sense of self over time. We explore how repeated thoughts form beliefs that can limit, justify, or empower you. Learn how to distinguish between these voices and beliefs, and discover practical tools to redirect your inner current toward a more intentional identity. Through reflection and strategic questioning, you can challenge old patterns and cultivate empowering beliefs for personal growth and transformation.If you ever need my help... simply visit getclarity.co.za

— — —🇿🇦 SAFFA-EXCLUSIVE OFFER 🇿🇦 If you're a South African anywhere in the world, get free courses on personal development and relationships as well as access to community-exclusive webinars and events. ➡️ Click here to join or find out more. — — —   I developed The Tree of Clarity to help the Questers create radical, lasting transformation in their lives. Learn about the old and new belief systems, understand the role of emotions as clues, how to rewrite the voices of the cheerleader and judge with the voice of the coach, and empower yourself to show up as a better version of yourself, more often and for longer. — — — — —   Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #treeofclarity #clarity #empowering #transformation #mindsettraining #mindset

— — —🇿🇦 SAFFA-EXCLUSIVE OFFER 🇿🇦 If you're a South African anywhere in the world, get free courses on personal development and relationships as well as access to community-exclusive webinars and events. ➡️ Click here to join or find out more. — — —   Labelling your emotions empowers you to do something about them. Dr Mareitjie Smit introduces us to the concept of 'languishing,' the state between flourishing and depression, and the importance of balancing 'doing' and 'being' to combat it. Discover practical tips and small actions that can bring joy and purpose back into your life. We also discuss the impact of internal voices, like the judge and the cheerleader, on our emotional wellbeing, and how to train the voice of the coach instead. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication.   Dr. Marietjie Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more about me and the work I do, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #wellbeing #mentalhealth #selfcare #personaldevelopment #mindfulness #emotionalintelligence #growthmindset #innerpeace

— — —🇿🇦 SAFFA-EXCLUSIVE OFFER 🇿🇦 If you're a South African anywhere in the world, get free courses on personal development and relationships as well as access to community-exclusive webinars and events. ➡️ Click here to join or find out more. — — —   Hear from three Questers how the Clarity Quest helped them find clarity, courage, and accountability, transforming their lives and relationships.   The Clarity Quest program is designed to help you get unstuck and find direction and purpose through structured steps, mentorship, and a supportive community, with mindset training and personal guidance and coaching from me.   If you want to join the next Clarity Quest, sign up here: https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/clarity-quest-open-day — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaltransformation #mindsetshift #growthmindset #selfimprovement #findyourpurpose #overcomeobstacles #empowerment #lifedirection

— — —🇿🇦 SAFFA-EXCLUSIVE OFFER 🇿🇦 If you're a South African anywhere in the world, get free courses on personal development and relationships as well as access to community-exclusive webinars and events. ➡️ Click here to join or find out more. — — —   If you're not using conflict to grow your relationship, you're missing out. Learn how to peel back the layers of communication in your relationship from the superficial to the deeply personal, and discover how conflicts aren't just obstacles but opportunities to understand your needs, express your feelings, and grow closer to your partner. This episode offers practical advice on navigating disagreements with empathy and insight, turning potential rifts into moments of connection. If you're ready to change how you see and handle conflict, this guide is for you. (No, I didn't regrow my hair — this is one from the vault.) — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation. #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #communication #conflict #personaldevelopment #relationshipgoals #communicationiskey #growtogether #deepconnections #conflictresolution #empathyinlove #personalgrowth #understandinglove

— — —🇿🇦 SAFFA-EXCLUSIVE OFFER 🇿🇦 If you're a South African anywhere in the world, get free courses on personal development and relationships as well as access to community-exclusive webinars and events. ➡️ Click here to join or find out more. — — —   "Do you care?" That has become the most important question for me whenever I'm prepping for a coaching session. Join Dr Maritjie Smit and I as we unpack coaching, what drives us to do it and the most powerful tools we use to help people grow. — — — — — Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #coachingjourney #growthmindset #selfdiscovery #learningjourney, #transformation #coachingtips #mindsetshift #unlockpotential #questions #curiosity

— — —🇿🇦 SAFFA-EXCLUSIVE OFFER 🇿🇦 If you're a South African anywhere in the world, get free courses on personal development and relationships as well as access to community-exclusive webinars and events. ➡️ Click here to join or find out more. — — —   Getting what you want in your relationship isn't always easy, but it is simple. Just ask.   In this Unpacking episode, Dr Marietjie Smit and I delve into what it means to understand your needs, articulate them to your partner and the massive impact it can have on your happiness. We cover topics ranging from identifying your own needs and the art of effective communication with your partner, to teaching your partner how to meet your needs and the impact of past experiences on our current relationships. We also look at the power of taking personal responsibility in healing and growing within relationships, how your unspoken needs can manifest as baggage in a relationship and the dynamics of asking for help from a partner and the vulnerability involved. — — — — — Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #relationshipinsights #understandingneeds #effectivecommunication #deepconnections #selfawarenessjourney #partnershipgoals #relationshipadvice #emotionalintelligence #personalgrowth #healthyrelationships

— — —🇿🇦 SAFFA-EXCLUSIVE OFFER 🇿🇦 If you're a South African anywhere in the world, get free courses on personal development and relationships as well as access to community-exclusive webinars and events. ➡️ Click here to join or find out more. — — —   My goal is to help my clients achieve radical, lasting transformation. This principle is one of the most important and misunderstood practices for getting unstuck that, when correctly applied, will completely change your life. (That isn't hyperbole — many of my clients have shared stories of radical transformation after implementing it in their own lives.) I also share the three steps you need to take to get what you want, the transformative role of structure and discipline as expressions of self-love and empowerment, and why intentionality is the key to unlocking all of the above. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #SelfImprovement #PersonalGrowth #HealthySelfishness #SelfSacrifice #Empowerment #LifeGoals #MindsetShift #SelfDiscovery #IntentionalLiving #selffulfillment #selfishness

— — —🇿🇦 SAFFA-EXCLUSIVE OFFER 🇿🇦 If you're a South African anywhere in the world, get free courses on personal development and relationships as well as access to community-exclusive webinars and events. ➡️ Click here to join or find out more. — — —   When someone irritates you or you are in a conflict situation, the temptation to blame others is strong. In this Unpacking episode Dr Marietjie Smit and I look at how to turn those conflict situations into wins for you by being curious. We also discuss why taking responsibility is so much more powerful than pointing fingers, the three voices in your head and how developing your inner coach can help you rewrite limiting narratives that keep you stuck. — — — — — Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #beliefs #responsibility #control #influence #innernarritive #limitingbeliefs #blame #yourstory

— — —🇿🇦 SAFFA-EXCLUSIVE OFFER 🇿🇦 If you're a South African anywhere in the world, get free courses on personal development and relationships as well as access to community-exclusive webinars and events. ➡️ Click here to join or find out more. — — —   Where does your responsibility for others' behaviour end? And how can you take charge of what you CAN control? Join Dr. Smit and I as we discuss the underappreciated power of responsibility and how you can always know what you should try to control. We also discuss the "clarity tree" for parsing personal responsibility, how much responsibility we should take for our children — stopping by my two parenting mantras on the way — and how focusing on controlling the right things will lead to much better results than gambling your energy away on the wrong things. — — — — — Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit https://www.getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #beliefs #responsibility #control #influence #parenting #claritree #treeofclarity

— — —🇿🇦 SAFFA-EXCLUSIVE OFFER 🇿🇦 If you're a South African anywhere in the world, get free courses on personal development and relationships as well as access to community-exclusive webinars and events. ➡️ Click here to join or find out more. — — —   Labelling your beliefs as good or bad is surprisingly unhelpful. In this conversation with Dr. Marietjie Smit, we look at a more useful approach to your beliefs that empowers you. Discover how to figure out your emotional goals, take responsibility for your growth and get out of negative emotional spaces, even if nothing changes about the situation you are in. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation. #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #beliefs #binaryoptions #perspective #mindset #goalsetting #repetition

— — —🇿🇦 SAFFA-EXCLUSIVE OFFER 🇿🇦 If you're a South African anywhere in the world, get free courses on personal development and relationships as well as access to community-exclusive webinars and events. ➡️ Click here to join or find out more. — — —   What's the difference between the pain that ruins you and the pain that grows you? In this episode, I chat with Dr Marietjie Smit about the difference between "slow pain" that needs healing and "grow pain" that you need to become the person you want to be. Discover what slow pain is trying to tell you, how to respond to it properly, and why simply waiting for time to heal old wounds doesn't work. We also get into how unresolved pain can hurt your closest relationships through projection and transference, and the key differences between therapy and coaching in moving you forward. Dr. Smit is the founder of the Reconstruct Community (an obesity and bariatric advocacy group), completed her PhD in Business Management (Entrepreneurship) at 41 and is a fan of lifelong learning. — — — — — Francois Esterhuizen is a life coach who helps professionals get unstuck and gain momentum, and a relationship counsellor with decades of experience who specialises in conflict and communication. Visit getclarity.co.za to find out more, join a webinar or book a free consultation.   #freshperspective #lifecoaching #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #slowpain #growthpain #emotionalhealing #innerhealing #childhoodwounds #projection #transference #therapy #coaching #perspective #motivation #relationships