Has your inbox turned into a dumpster fire of accusatory texts from your abuser?
In this episode, I hand you a step-by-step strategy to shut down the inner emotional chaos without getting dragged into the mud pit with him. It's not just about survival. It's about winning (for YOU!)
What We Cover in This Episode:
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“He doesn’t hit you, so it must not be abuse.” Yeah, no. That tired old line needs to die.
This week, I sat down with Dr. Christine Cocchiola, a powerhouse expert on coercive control, the kind of abuse that doesn’t leave bruises but instead, destroys lives. Christine breaks down how abusers don't need fists to dominate; they weaponize EVERYTHING from the court system, to churches, to your very own kids.
If you’ve ever been dismissed, disbelieved, or labeled “too angry,” this episode is a masterclass in seeing the invisible, calling it what it is, and taking your power back, even if you have to fake it ‘til you make it from the ICU of your life.
What You’ll Learn:
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Christine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is an expert on the experiences of adult and child victims of coercive control. A college professor teaching social work, she received her doctorate in clinical social work from New York University working under the tutelage of Dr. Evan Stark. She presents nationally and internationally on the concept of coercive control with a focus on educating professionals, advocates, and protective parents, on the experiences of children and best intervention strategies for adult and child victims of coercive control/narcissistic abuse. Her Clinician Certification Training is ASWB approved for 14 CE’s. Dr. C is the creator of The Protective Parenting Program, a therapeutic evidence based attachment focused program for parents of children harmed by abusers and the co-author of FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld.
Have you ever felt like life has you wearing a 200-pound emotional backpack labeled “Christian womanhood”? In this episode, I unpack (literally) the toxic beliefs that are holding us back using a metaphorical story about a woman who wants to run, but can’t. Because, surprise! She's lugging around spiritual abuse disguised as Bible truths.
You’ll meet Sarah, a fictional but oh-so-familiar woman who stands at the edge of a running trail, paralyzed by invisible weights. Enter Elena, the wise older woman who helps her go full Marie Kondo on her belief system. You’ll want to tattoo some of Elena’s one-liners on your forearm. (Okay maybe just put them on sticky notes.)
Key Takeaways:
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What if that golden cage you're sitting in was never locked? What if all that “God’s will” rhetoric was just fear cosplaying as holiness? In this episode, I tell you a story, a simple one with birds, bars, and just enough metaphorical mic drops to wake up the part of you that’s been sedated by religious gaslighting. Buckle up, buttercup. It’s time to talk about freedom.
This isn’t just another chirpy motivational talk. It’s a truth-telling, cage-rattling invitation to examine the lies we’ve been fed about safety, love, and obedience, especially in the name of God. You were made to fly, not decorate someone else’s spiritual furniture.
Key Takeaways:
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In this episode, we're taking a look at the classic emotional abuse push-pull cycle that makes us feel like we’re starring in a soap opera we never auditioned for.
This one's for the Christian woman who’s been there, twisting herself into a holy pretzel trying to keep the peace, hold the family together, and love like Jesus while getting emotionally sucker-punched by someone who claims to love her.
What We Cover:
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If you’ve ever second-guessed your sanity, asked Google “Is my husband a narcissist or just an annoying human?” or thought you might be sinning by not cheerfully submitting to your own emotional obliteration, this episode is your wake-up call... with love.
Christian counselor, Kris Reece, is back on the show for part two of our convo about the toxic mind games that keep Christian women stuck, particularly when Jesus is used as the emotional ball-and-chain.
Together, we unravel gaslighting, guilt, spiritual manipulation, emotional immaturity, and why you’re not selfish or sinful for walking away from garbage disguised as godliness.
Key Takeaways:
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Kris Reece is a Christian counselor, author, and speaker who helps believers break free from toxic relationships and codependency biblically and practically. With over 30 years of combined personal and professional experience, Kris has guided thousands through the emotional wreckage left by narcissistic and manipulative relationships. She blends deep biblical truth with real-world strategies to help others reclaim their identity, rebuild confidence, and walk in the freedom Christ offers. Kris is the author of Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip and host of a fast-growing YouTube channel where she equips Christians to set boundaries, overcome manipulation, break trauma bonds, and heal after toxic relationships.
Is it ever okay to walk away from your own mother… or your husband? (Cue the gasps from the peanut gallery clutching their pearls.) If you grew up in church culture, you probably heard that honoring your parents and submitting to your husband meant swallowing abuse with a smile. But guess what? That’s not actually what Jesus had in mind.
In this episode, I sit down with Christian counselor and author Kris Reese (yes, the YouTube powerhouse with over 476,000 subscribers) to dismantle the toxic myths that keep Christian women chained to destructive relationships.
Together, we talk about:
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Kris Reece is a Christian counselor, author, and speaker who helps believers break free from toxic relationships and codependency biblically and practically. With over 30 years of combined personal and professional experience, Kris has guided thousands through the emotional wreckage left by narcissistic and manipulative relationships. She blends deep biblical truth with real-world strategies to help others reclaim their identity, rebuild confidence, and walk in the freedom Christ offers. Kris is the author of Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip and host of a fast-growing YouTube channel where she equips Christians to set boundaries, overcome manipulation, break trauma bonds, and heal after toxic relationships.
You know how sometimes life gives you lemons and then instead of sugar for lemonade, the church hands you a moldy marriage book and says, “Submit harder”? That was my reality. In this episode, I take you back to a hotel room where I was nine months pregnant and seriously questioning if I wanted to keep living.
Instead, I stumbled my way out of despair and into freedom thanks to a stack of books, a laptop, and eventually, the real God (not the mean knock-off version I had been worshiping).
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
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What happens when you grow up in hyper-conservative church culture, marry your Bible camp sweetheart at 20, and then spend decades swimming in a poisoned pond of patriarchy, affairs, gaslighting, and spiritual abuse? Jennie’s story is a real look at what it takes to finally climb out of the muck and into fresh water.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it me? Or is this whole thing just completely bonkers?” then pull up a chair. Jennie’s journey from silent suffering to empowered freedom will resonate with every woman who’s ever been told to “submit more, pray harder, and wear longer skirts” while her husband runs wild and gets a pat on the back from church elders.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
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Some other survivor stories to give you hope: “Military Marriage Abuse: Elizabeth’s Story,” and “Escaping the Man Everyone Admired: Lisa’s Story.”
Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in guilt, shame, and Christian “shoulds” while trying to survive a toxic marriage, a brutal divorce, or the aftermath of both? What if I told you that letting go, accepting reality, and loving yourself isn’t just a cliche, but it can actually change everything?
In this episode of Flying Free, I dive into the “Let Go, Accept, and Love” tool (a.k.a. LAL, because who doesn’t love an acronym?). Plus, you’ll hear how one brave mama used these steps in the middle of a soul-crushing custody battle, and she came out stronger, freer, and a whole lot wiser.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
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Have you ever felt like you're starring in a rerun of your own life? Same arguments. Same heartbreak. Same fake flowers and empty promises. It’s called the abuse cycle, my friend.
In this episode, I dive deep into an exercise that one of our Flying Free members shared in the private forum. She mapped out her relationship’s specific abuse cycle, and what she discovered was pretty important.
Nothing changes when nothing changes. Oof. That one landed.
What you’ll learn:
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Related Resources:
Check out some other related Flying Free Podcast episodes: “Interrupting the Abuse Cycle” and “How to Change Yourself While Still Stuck in an Emotionally Abusive Marriage.”
Ever fallen for someone who looked flawless on paper, but in real life turned out to be your personal nightmare with a Christian smile slapped on top?
In today’s episode, I sit down with Maile, a bright spark in our Flying Free community, who thought she’d landed in God’s will when she married her second husband. Instead, she found herself suffocating under spiritual gaslighting, emotional sabotage, and escalating violence, all hidden behind the shiny veneer of “good Christian marriage.”
This is a real story of what it looks like to wake up, break free, and rebuild your life, even when you’ve already done the divorce thing once before, and the church ladies are clutching their pearls at you for round two.
In this episode:
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Have you ever crawled your way out of an emotionally abusive relationship, finally free, only to be met with cold shoulders, Christian cliques, and confused stares from the very people who should’ve been first in line at your welcome-back party?
Or maybe you’ve thought about getting out, but your instincts all tell you that you’ll lose everyone you love in the process?
In this episode, I answer two listener-submitted questions that go straight to the heart of what so many Christian women wrestle with post-abuse: rejection from family, exclusion in church, and the confusion that comes with trying to be a decent human in the aftermath of emotional trauma.
We talk:
This one’s for every woman who’s been ghosted by her family or made to feel like a spiritual pariah in the church lobby.
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So you’re getting out of your emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage (congratulations, by the way, you’re a hero), and you think the hard part is over? Honey, buckle up. This episode pulls back the curtain on what actually goes down in family court and why women like you and me need to step into the CEO role of our divorce process.
I talk with Amy Polacko, a woman who’s been through it, wrote a book about it, and now helps other women survive it. We cover everything from strategic silence and choosing the right attorney, to the "he’s such a good guy" nonsense that courts just eat up.
Here’s the low-down: You could be framed. Literally. Not metaphorically. Actually framed. So let’s talk about how to not let that happen.
Key Takeaways:
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Amy is a divorce coach and an award-winning journalist who is a domestic abuse survivor. Through her Freedom Warrior coaching business, she has guided hundreds of women out of toxic relationships and empowers women to be the CEO of their divorce. She is a former full-time investigative reporter on television. Amy’s work has been featured in HuffPost, The Washington Post, Newsweek, NBC News, The Independent, New York Observer and Ms. She co-authored the groundbreaking book FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld with Dr. Christine Cocchiola which exposes the gender bias crisis in our justice system
What if the miracle you've been begging God for—the divine intervention, the total transformation of your emotionally bankrupt marriage—is actually you walking out the door?
In this episode, I pull back the curtain on my own bathroom-floor prayer sob sessions (complete with cold tile and mascara rivers) and challenge the dangerous theology that says staying in abusive marriages = holy martyrdom.
If you’ve been stuck in a cycle of “pray harder, suffer longer,” it’s time to consider that the still, small voice urging you to get out might actually be God.
Key Takeaways:
Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
Related Resources:
If you liked today’s episode, you may relate to some of my others, including “What Are the Biblical Grounds for Divorce?” and “How Can You Tell if Your Abusive Partner Has Changed?”
Ever wondered what it’s like to be married to someone who swears allegiance to both their country and their ego? Meet Elizabeth, a brave survivor of emotional, spiritual, and psychological abuse within a military marriage. Spoiler alert: It’s not all flag-waving and family barbecues.
Key Takeaways:
Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
Related Resources:
Listen to some of our other recent survivor stories, including Lisa’s story and Erin’s story.
Let’s talk about that weird emotional hangover you get after confronting your husband’s bad behavior. You know, the one where he hurts you, but somehow you end up feeling sorry for him? Yep. That old chestnut. In this episode, I get real about the trap so many of us Christian women fall into, the compassion boomerang that keeps us stuck in abusive marriages.
I’ve lived this. I breathed this for 25 years. I know exactly what it feels like to see the abuse for what it is, feel a spark of righteous anger… only to have it snuffed out by a fake tear, a Bible verse, or a bouquet of “I didn’t mean it that way” flowers. Before you know it, you’re back to feeling like the monster for having feelings in the first place.
So I’m calling it out. We’re unpacking why this happens, how it messes with your brain, and what you can do to flip the script and start feeling sorry for the person who truly deserves your compassion: you.
What I Want You to Walk Away With:
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Liked this episode? Then you’ll like two of my other Flying Free Podcast episodes, “How Can You Tell if Your Abusive Partner Has Changed?” and “Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Abuser - and When That Changes.”
Have you ever sat in a women’s Bible study, nodding politely while someone says “your husband is your spiritual covering,” and inside you’re thinking, I think I’m dying a little bit every time I say “yes, dear”?
In this episode, I get real about complementarianism, the nice-sounding theology that quietly hijacked our self-worth, autonomy, and sanity. I share how I was the poster child for it once (hello, Created to Be His Help Meet), and how that life script nearly destroyed my soul.
I’m unpacking the research, the psychology, the theology, and yes, the “are you kidding me right now?” stories from real women who’ve lived this. It's systemic. And it's deeply damaging.
What You’ll Learn:
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In this episode, I’m diving into a question I get all the time: Is legal separation the better option for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages? Or is divorce actually the path to healing and wholeness?
I know how hard it is to navigate these decisions, especially when your faith, your safety, and your identity are all tangled together. I’ve lived it. I’ve wrestled with it. And I’ve coached hundreds of women through it.
So I’m walking you through the differences between legal separation and divorce from a biblical, emotional, financial, and psychological perspective without shame, fear tactics, or pressure. Just clarity, truth, and love.
What You’ll Learn:
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In this episode, Natalie shares the raw, unfiltered voices of Christian women who took a powerful step toward reclaiming their lives. What begins with deep confusion, spiritual exhaustion, and the belief that “I’m the problem” transforms into clarity, courage, and freedom. This episode is a love letter to every woman who feels stuck in a toxic relationship yet longs for something more.
Through the annual Flying Free satisfaction survey, listeners hear dozens of honest, heart-wrenching, and ultimately hopeful testimonies of what healing looks like when women dare to believe they deserve better.
Key Takeaways:
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