In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I unpack the fear of weight gain through a compassionate, practical lens. We explore how survival wiring, nervous-system activation and confirmation bias make fear feel indisputable—especially during anorexia recovery and eating disorder recovery. You’ll learn why the brain translates messy, vulnerable emotions (rejection, shame, grief, visibility, intimacy) into body-fixing plans—and how to respond differently. I share personal moments from my own recovery, scripts to answer the brain in real time, and a short guided reflection to help you feel safer with feelings so you can keep saying yes to nourishment, healing and freedom.
I’m Julia Trehane, a specialist anorexia recovery coach supporting full and lasting recovery—no quasi-recovery, no staying stuck. I believe your worth never lived in your body size, and your brain can be retrained to choose safety in feeling over safety in shrinking.
What you’ll learn
The Guard Dog Brain: Why the brain prioritises survival over happiness—and why fear is its fastest tool.
Coping Strategy, Not Truth: How fear of weight gain arrives to avoid hard emotions and offer an illusion of control.
Confirmation Bias: The brain’s proof-seeking loop that turns neutral events into “evidence” that shrinking is safer.
Underneath the Fear: Rejection, shame, visibility, vulnerability, grief, and “not-enoughness.”
Somatic Micro-Skills: A 30–60 second body check-in to increase tolerance for big feelings.
Reality-Testing: Questions that disrupt the hijack and open other explanations.
Redefining Control: Why real control is presence, nourishment and allowing the body to heal—including oedema.
Word-for-Word Scripts: Gentle but firm responses you can use when the brain shouts “don’t gain weight.”
Try these right away (practical steps)
Name the pattern: “This is the coping strategy, not the truth.” Pause before acting.
Journal prompt: “If this isn’t about weight, what might I be feeling?” Let answers arrive without fixing.
Somatic minute: Hand on heart and tummy; locate the feeling (chest/throat/stomach) and breathe into it for 30–60 seconds.
Reality check: “What else could be true here? What am I not noticing?”
Script it:
“Thank you, brain, for trying to protect me. What I’m really feeling is ____. I can feel this and stay safe.”
“Buying a bigger size is proof my body is healing, not proof I’ve failed.”
“Oedema is repair. My worth doesn’t live in a label.”
Reframe control: Choose nourishment, rest and connection—even when fear is loud.
Mentioned in this episode
Feelings Navigator — a quick way to find tools for the emotion you’re in: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/how-are-you-feeling
The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle — our community space for support, coaching calls, workshops and on-demand courses (come join us or pop back into the forum to share your reflections): https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join
Key timestamps (guide)
00:00 Guard Dog Brain: survival vs happiness
05:00 Fear of weight gain as a coping strategy
12:00 How the hijack sounds in real life (relationship/work/friends)
20:00 Confirmation bias & why fear feels like “proof”
27:00 What’s underneath: rejection, shame, visibility, vulnerability, grief
33:00 Somatic practice + reality-testing questions
39:00 Scripts to answer the brain
45:00 Closing reflection: “I can handle feelings; I am safe to feel.”
If this episode resonated, come share what came up for you inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle—you’ll be met by people who truly understand, plus practical tools you can use the moment fear gets loud, all for less than the cost of a single therapy session: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join.
If you’re ready for more personalised support, my 1:1 coaching will hold you through the hard emotions while we retrain the brain toward safety and freedom.
How does anxiety fuel an eating disorder — and why do the usual fixes never seem to work?
In this powerful episode of Fly to Freedom, I sit down with Dr Russell Kennedy — physician, neuroscientist, developmental psychology expert, and bestselling author of Anxiety Rx. Known worldwide as The Anxiety MD, Russell brings both deep science and lived experience, having spent decades overcoming his own battle with crippling anxiety.
We explore:
How anxiety lives in the body as an alarm state, not just in the mind.
How childhood trauma and sensitivity shape the coping strategies we turn to.
How eating disorders, worry, and other patterns seem to help at first, but only keep the alarm alive underneath.
How inner child healing and compassion create lasting recovery, not just temporary relief.
How to start finding the alarm in your body and soothing it safely.
This is not a surface-level conversation. It’s about understanding how anxiety drives the cycle of restriction, control, and fear — and how reconnecting with the body and the younger self underneath the pain is the real key to healing.
💛 Dr Russell Kennedy’s groundbreaking work blends medicine, neuroscience, yoga, and mindfulness into practical healing. His bestselling book Anxiety Rx, his Anxiety Rx Podcast, and his transformational MBRX programme are empowering people worldwide to permanently heal anxiety and embrace calm. You can connect with him at theanxietymd.com or on Instagram @theanxietymd.
💛 And if you’re looking for real support from people who’ve been there and truly get it, The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is here for you. It’s a unique community of people at all stages of recovery, supporting each other through the mess, the milestones, and everything in between. Inside, you’ll find the Feelings Navigator to guide you through hard emotions, monthly coaching calls, live workshops, on-demand recovery courses, and of course—me, Julia, here with you every step of the way. Join us here.
💛 For those wanting to go further, my 1:1 coaching offers close support to work on the root causes of the eating disorder with personalised guidance. You’ll never feel so supported to recover. Learn more at juliatrehane.com.
You are not broken. How anxiety has shaped you is not how your story has to end. There is a way to move through the alarm, find peace in your body, and reclaim your life.
Hey lovely, today’s episode of Fly to Freedom is not just something to listen to while you multitask — this is one to experience. Together, we’ll explore the invisible stories that have been running in the background of your life — the ones that shape how you feel in recovery, how you show up in the world, and even how safe you feel in your own skin.
So many of us carry old scripts written by parents, teachers, culture, or the eating disorder itself — stories of not being enough, of not being safe, of not being worthy. And when those stories are left unchallenged, life keeps bending to fit them. But you hold the pen, sweetheart. You always have.
In this episode, I’ll share:
✨ How your brain clings to familiar stories through confirmation bias
✨ Why the stories you tell yourself shape your energy, your recovery, and your relationships
✨ How to move from scarcity to abundance without faking positivity
✨ The role of gratitude and manifestation (when grounded in action) in creating lasting change
✨ A guided reflection to help you embody abundance and begin rewriting your story right now
Whether you’re early in recovery or navigating the long middle stretch, this conversation will help you start shifting the old narratives that keep you stuck. You’ll leave with practical tools, gentle wisdom, and the reminder that you are never alone in this.
💛 And if you’re longing for deeper support, The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is a place where you’ll be truly understood. Inside you’ll find group coaching, workshops, courses, and the comfort of being with people who get it. And if you’d like closer, personalised guidance, my 1:1 coaching is always here for you. You can explore both at juliatrehane.com
Because you deserve to write a new story — one of freedom, trust, and enoughness.
In this episode of Fly To Freedom, Vic and I are back answering your real questions from the community. We’re going deep into the messy, uncomfortable but transformative parts of eating disorder recovery — things like acting in line with your values when fear keeps getting in the way, making peace with fullness when it feels “dirty,” and breaking the hold of external validation.
We also chat about how language shapes your recovery, why you’re not “helpless,” and some powerful ways to work with fear, anxiety and guilt after eating.
Here’s what you’ll hear inside:
How to move from “I can’t” to “I won’t” and reclaim your power.
Why fullness feels so scary and how to practise being uncomfortable until it becomes safe.
Why fruit and veg aren’t always your friend in early re-nourishment — and what to focus on instead.
Tools for nervous-system safety when even tiny steps trigger panic.
How to stop waiting for your mother’s (or anyone’s) approval and start validating yourself.
Why guilt often hits after eating and how to pre-empt it so it loses its grip.
This is an honest, compassionate episode with lots of practical ideas you can start using straight away.
💛 And if you’re looking for real support from people who’ve been there and truly get it, The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is here for you. It’s a unique community of people at all stages of recovery, supporting each other through the mess, the milestones, and everything in between. Inside you’ll also find my Feelings Navigator to guide you through hard emotions, monthly coaching calls, live workshops, on-demand recovery courses and of course — me, right there with you every step of the way.
Come and be part of something that actually helps. You don’t have to do this alone.
Join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle here
Welcome back to Fly to Freedom.
Set point weight is one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics in eating disorder recovery. In this episode, I’m breaking down what it really means, why it matters so much, and how to stop fighting your body so you can finally feel safe in it.
We’ll explore:
What set point weight is (and what it isn’t)
Why your body defends this natural range so fiercely
The emotional and biological impact of trying to stay below it
Why overshoot happens and why it’s not failure but part of healing
Why some people live in larger bodies and what’s really going on there
How to cope if your weight has stabilised but you still don’t feel at home in your body
This is about more than numbers or appearance. It’s about understanding your body as a partner, not a problem. When you stop resisting your set point weight, your body can move out of survival mode, your mind can quieten, and your life can finally expand beyond control.
Whether you’re at the beginning of recovery, in the messy middle, or wondering if your body has settled, this conversation will help you make sense of the chaos, release shame, and begin to trust that your body has always been on your side.
💛 You deserve peace. You deserve freedom. And your body is not the enemy—it’s your home.
💛 If you’re looking for a safe place to explore what recovery really means for you, The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is there to support you. Inside you’ll find live coaching calls, courses, workshops, and a community of people who understand.
I'm also running a public workshop on 11th October on Healing The Fear Of Weight Gain.
If this episode resonated with you, then this workshop will really help you. Book now: https://www.juliatrehane.com/workshops
And when you’re ready for deeper, personalised work on the root causes of the eating disorder, my 1:1 coaching offers close support and guidance to help you move towards full freedom.
Wherever you are right now — remember, presence is enough, and you are always worth choosing.
Welcome back to Fly to Freedom. In this episode, I sit down with Angela, a woman who has just completed coaching with me and has transformed her life in ways she once thought were impossible.
Angela opens her heart and shares what recovery really feels like from the inside—the messy middle, the fear of letting go of control, the grief of facing old wounds, and ultimately the joy of discovering her true self.
She talks about the shift from quasi-recovery into full recovery, moving beyond the food piece into the deeper emotional healing that brings lasting freedom. From learning to use “kinder eyes” with herself, to shedding the armour of perfectionism, makeup, and control, Angela’s story is one of courage, vulnerability, and hope.
You’ll hear:
The difference between simply eating more and truly healing at the root.
How black-and-white thinking gave way to curiosity, compassion, and growth.
What it feels like to let go of the eating disorder’s armour and show up as her authentic self.
How recovery changed her marriage, her creativity, and her confidence.
Why investing in herself was the turning point that made freedom possible.
Angela’s journey is a powerful reminder that recovery is not only possible—it’s worth everything. If you’re feeling stuck in quasi-recovery, constantly fighting your thoughts, or fearing who you’ll be without the eating disorder, this episode will show you what’s waiting on the other side.
💛 And if you’re looking for real support from people who’ve been there and truly get it, including Angela, The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is here for you. It’s a unique community of people at all stages of recovery, supporting each other through the mess, the milestones, and everything in between.
Inside, you’ll also find the Feelings Navigator to guide you through hard emotions, monthly coaching calls, live workshops, on-demand recovery courses, and of course—me, Julia, here with you every step of the way.
Come be part of something that actually helps. You don’t have to do this alone.
👉 Join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle
So many of us in recovery know the words “I feel fat” all too well. They can hit like a tidal wave after eating, while looking in the mirror, or when shame and panic rise out of nowhere. But fat isn’t actually a feeling.
In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m unpacking what’s really happening when those words surface. Together, we’ll explore:
Why “I feel fat” is often a shorthand for emotions we were never taught how to name.
The deeper feelings that hide beneath body shame — fear, sadness, grief, vulnerability, or loneliness.
Why restriction became a coping mechanism, and how recovery brings emotions rushing back.
A simple 5-step practice you can use when the “I feel fat” thoughts feel overwhelming.
These thoughts aren’t evidence of failure — they’re signals from your nervous system asking to be heard. And when you begin to meet them with compassion instead of punishment, real healing starts to unfold.
💛 Free resource for you: I’ve created a brand new guide, Five Feelings That Fuel an Eating Disorder (and How to Navigate Them). You can download it for free at juliatrehane.com. It’s a gentle way to start making sense of those “I feel fat” days.
💛 Want daily support? Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, you’ll find the Feelings Navigator — a tool that helps you identify what you’re truly feeling — plus a loving community, live coaching, and on-demand recovery courses to support you every step of the way.
💛 Ready for deeper healing? My 1:1 coaching is where I work closely with you on the root causes, helping your system learn how to feel, soothe, and return to full self-trust.
Wherever you are today, please know this: “I feel fat” isn’t the end of the story. It’s the beginning of learning a new language — one of self-compassion, emotional truth, and freedom.
In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m joined by the brilliant Tabitha Farrar — recovery coach, speaker, and author of Rehabilitate, Rewire, Recover and Fried Eggs and Thunder Thighs.
Tabitha shares her journey of living with anorexia for over a decade, how a seemingly innocent decision triggered the illness, and the pivotal moment she finally chose recovery. Known for her blunt, science-based, no-nonsense approach, Tabitha talks openly about:
Why she believes recovery doesn’t have to be complicated.
The crucial role of facing fears — especially around exercise and weight gain.
How negative body image is learned, and how to actually unlearn it.
Why acting “as if” you like your body can rewire the brain faster than waiting for the feelings to change.
The recovery myths that keep people stuck, including the idea that bingeing in recovery is something to fear.
💛 If you’d like to connect with Tabitha, you can find her at tabithafarrar.com and on her YouTube channel.
💛 If you’re ready to take the next step in your own recovery, visit juliatrehane.com. You’ll find all the ways we can work together – whether that’s through my workshops, joining The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle for ongoing support, or my 1:1 coaching for deeper, personalised guidance.
So many people in recovery quietly wonder: Do I have to face the trauma to truly heal?
Maybe you’ve whispered that question to yourself too – in the middle of a meal, in a therapy room, or in the quiet of the night when you’re just so tired of hurting. Maybe you long for recovery but dread opening the door to the past.
In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m speaking to that exact fear. Together we’ll explore:
What trauma really is (hint: it’s not just what happened, but what you carried forward).
Why recovery can absolutely begin without digging into the past straight away.
How nourishment, rest and nervous system safety lay the groundwork for deeper healing.
Why avoidance isn’t failure – it’s often a survival response that kept you safe.
How real trauma healing often begins in small, quiet acts of safety, presence and self-compassion.
Recovery is not just about food. It’s about reclaiming the parts of you that had to hide – the ones who deserve love, safety, and freedom.
💛 If you’re ready to take the next step in your own recovery, visit juliatrehane.com. You’ll find all the ways we can work together – whether that’s one of my £27 workshops, joining the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle for ongoing support, or working with me 1:1 to supercharge your recovery. You can also download my free eBook The Five Voices We Carry: A Journey Through the Hardest Feelings in Recovery to help you navigate the emotional side of healing.
Welcome back to Fly to Freedom. In this month’s Julia & Vics Q&A, we answer your powerful recovery questions — from fears about quasi-recovery to coping with brain chemistry changes, rebuilding family trust, and navigating oedema, weight gain, and family comments.
You’ll hear raw, compassionate answers rooted in lived experience — the messy parts, the scary parts, and the hopeful parts. Whether you’re at the start or further along, these conversations show you that recovery is possible for everyone.
[03:15] Quasi vs. Full Recovery – Can coaches tell who will fully recover? Why commitment and openness matter more than prediction.
[08:40] Brain Chemistry – Why suicidal thoughts, depression, and appetite loss can hit when you start eating more, and how to move through it.
[17:55] Food Perfectionism – Fear of making the “wrong” choice, and how to let food be messy, not perfect.
[23:10] Family Trust – How to rebuild relationships and feel proud of yourself again after painful years.
[32:05] Planning Challenges – Should challenges be scheduled or spontaneous? Why the answer is both.
[37:45] Oedema – Julia’s lived experience of extreme water retention, why it happens, and how to cope.
[46:20] Weight Gain Blame – Reframing “healthy” and “unhealthy” foods, and trusting your body.
[55:30] BMI Fears – Why BMI is irrelevant, why food thoughts count as hunger, and how to keep going.
[01:05:15] Family Comments – Coping when loved ones make thin-obsessed remarks, and why inner child work matters.
[01:15:10] Blood Tests – Why results may look “normal” despite restriction, and why that doesn’t mean you’re okay.
[01:25:40] Restricting to “Check” Metabolism – Why this cycle fuels mistrust, and how to break it.
[01:32:50] Fear or Excitement – How fear can transform into courage, and why borrowing belief helps.
[01:40:05] Making Recovery Easier – Would we do it differently? Why going all in was the fastest way through.
[01:47:15] HSPs – Why many with eating disorders are highly sensitive people, and how to see it as a strength.
💛 And if you're looking for real support from people who’ve been there and truly get it, The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is here for you. It’s a unique community of people at all stages of recovery, supporting each other through the mess, the milestones, and everything in between.
Inside you’ll also find the Feelings Navigator to guide you through hard emotions, monthly coaching calls, live workshops, on-demand recovery courses, and of course — me, Julia, here with you every step of the way.
Come be part of something that actually helps. You don’t have to do this alone.
This is the episode I’ve never fully shared before – not the neat, summarised version of my story, but the raw, unfiltered truth of my eating disorder recovery.
I take you with me from the very darkest place I have ever been – when I truly believed my family would be better off without me – through the messy, painful, beautiful journey that led me to full and lasting freedom.
You’ll hear about the moments that broke me open, the boundaries I had to set, the inner child work that changed everything, the terrifying physical symptoms, the cravings, the shame, and the unexpected rediscovery of connection, pleasure, and love for life itself.
This isn’t a “five tips to recover” kind of episode. It’s my lived experience – the truth of anorexia recovery and eating disorder recovery as I walked it – with all the fear, hope, setbacks, and breakthroughs along the way.
If you’re in the middle of it right now, or standing at the edge wondering if recovery is even possible for you, I hope my story shows you that no matter how far gone you feel, you are never beyond hope. Freedom is possible, and it’s worth every tear, every bite, every beginning again.
💛 And if you’re looking for real support from people who’ve been there and truly get it, The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is here for you. It’s a unique community of people at all stages of recovery, supporting each other through the mess, the milestones, and everything in between.
Inside, you’ll also find the Feelings Navigator to guide you through hard emotions, monthly coaching calls, live workshops, on-demand recovery courses, and of course – me, here with you every step of the way.
Come be part of something that actually helps. You don’t have to do this alone.
👉 Join us here: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join
In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m joined by Sydney, a former client whose journey through anorexia recovery is nothing short of inspiring. When we first met, Sydney was lost in the eating disorder – afraid of food, disconnected from her friends and family, and trapped in a cycle of rules, restriction, and fear.
Through coaching, Sydney learned to challenge those thoughts, reconnect with herself, and rebuild her relationship with food, her body, and her life. She shares the hardest parts of recovery, the breakthroughs that made the biggest difference, and the moments where she surprised herself with what she could achieve – from enjoying dessert again to embracing movement for joy rather than punishment.
Sydney also opens up about the contrast between traditional treatment and coaching, how the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle supports her daily, and why freedom is about so much more than weight restoration. Her story is a powerful reminder that full recovery is possible – and that life beyond the eating disorder can be filled with connection, confidence, and joy.
💛 If you’re ready for real support from people who’ve been there and truly get it, including Sydney! The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is here for you
Inside, you’ll find the Feelings Navigator to guide you through hard emotions, monthly coaching calls, live workshops, on-demand recovery courses, and of course – me, walking alongside you every step of the way. You don’t have to do this alone.
In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm sharing the kind of self-love we don’t often talk about — the kind that doesn’t feel soft or sweet at first, but changes everything.
This isn’t about face masks or bubble baths. This is about choosing freedom over comfort. It’s about acting like you matter, even when every voice in your head is telling you that you don’t.
We explore what it means to practice self-love as a behaviour — not a mood, not a vibe, and definitely not something you wait to feel. We’ll talk about what rewiring the brain really looks like, why things feel fake before they feel real, and how your inner dialogue either builds or breaks down your self-belief.
If you've ever thought:
🌀 “I’m not ready.”
🌀 “This feels fake.”
🌀 “It’s easier to stay where I am.”
Then this episode is a wake-up call rooted in compassion, neuroscience, and truth.
You’ll learn:
Why self-love starts with action, not belief
How to rewire your brain through small, consistent choices
What ‘limbic friction’ is and why it makes new behaviours feel wrong
How to speak to yourself in ways that calm your nervous system and support recovery
What happens when you stop waiting to feel ready and start acting like you're already enough
And I’ll also share the real behind-the-scenes of my own visibility journey — how I had to rewire the belief that it’s safer not to be seen, and how showing up became an act of love, not fear.
💛 If you're feeling stuck in perfectionism, control, or self-abandonment… this is for you.
Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, we do this work — not just talk about it.
🌿 Monthly live coaching with me
🌿 On-demand courses and recovery tools
🌿 The Feelings Navigator to help you understand and process intense emotions
🌿 Weekly recovery challenges
🌿 A private, supportive chat space to connect with others who get it
🌿 And the kind of truth, compassion and structure that helps you finally move forward
Come be part of something real.
You don’t have to do this alone.
👉 Join us here: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join
Ready for support that actually changes things?
This is a special joint Q&A episode with my brilliant friend Victoria from The Body Love Binge, where we answer real recovery questions from our communities. We’re covering so much in this conversation — from getting your period back, to setting boundaries with family, understanding set point theory, challenging intuitive eating rules, and what recovery fatigue really means.
If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re doing recovery “right”, feared that eating without hunger will mean endless weight gain, or just needed to hear two people who’ve been through it talk honestly — this one’s for you.
⏱️ Listener Questions & Timestamps:
[03:01] “What can I do to get my period back?”
Georgia asked about restoring her period after 10 years. I share why rest, nervous system regulation and patience are key, and how you don’t need to force-feed yourself — your body already knows how to heal.
[10:30] “How do I deal with body comments or judgments from my elderly parents?”
We talk about the emotional impact of family comments, how to set boundaries with consequences, and why healing the inner child matters so much in these moments.
[19:34] “Is intuitive eating secretly diet culture? Why does it feel so contradictory?”
We unpack the truth about intuitive eating — how it can become another rulebook, and why real food freedom means trusting yourself, not following guidelines.
[28:46] “Will I keep gaining weight if I eat when I’m not hungry?”
I share my own experience with set point theory, why trying to stay at the low end of your ‘range’ backfires, and how eating freely will always stabilise when you're truly at peace with food.
[37:10] “Why are some people in very large bodies? Doesn’t that mean they eat too much?”
This one gets to the heart of weight stigma. We talk about trauma, shame, emotional coping, bingeing vs restriction, and why body size isn’t a simple equation of input and output.
[46:30] “Why am I so exhausted now that I’m finally eating?”
I’ve lived this one — the deep, bone-tired fatigue that hits when the eating disorder lets go. I explain why it’s part of recovery, what’s happening in the body, and why it's not something to fight against.
[51:15] “Can binge eating become a bad habit after recovery?”
Victoria answers beautifully here — the difference between bingeing and emotional eating, how habits aren’t bad unless shame is involved, and why full permission is what leads to true choice.
[59:01] “What challenges do you still face in life after recovery?”
We both open up about the things we’re navigating now — from motherhood and visibility to self-expression and the ongoing journey of growth beyond recovery.
If you’re looking for real support from people who’ve been there and truly get it, The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is here for you. It’s a unique community of people at all stages of recovery, supporting each other through the mess, the milestones, and everything in between.
Inside, you’ll find:
Monthly coaching calls with opportunities for 1:1 support
The Feelings Navigator to guide you through tough emotions
Live workshops and expert-led courses
Dozens of how-to recovery guides (like how to eat at a buffet or go to a restaurant without fear)
On-demand recovery resources, including Overcoming the Fear of Weight Gain
👉 Come join us: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/join
🎤 Want to submit a question?
If you're in the Circle, you can drop your question right inside — I always prioritise those first.
You can also find a question box on my Instagram Story highlights.
And if you’re in Victoria’s free group, she takes questions there for our joint episodes too.
If this episode helped you, please take a moment to rate, review and share it — you never know who might need to hear this today.
💛 You don’t have to do this alone.
In this powerful and tender episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m opening up about something that so many people in eating disorder recovery experience but rarely speak about: intimacy.
When your body is changing and you’re learning to feel again, sex and closeness can stir up shame, fear, and deep vulnerability. You might question your worth, wonder how to be seen in your new body, or feel overwhelmed by returning desire. You might even feel numb, disconnected, or unsure how to let someone close when you’re still trying to come home to yourself.
This conversation was inspired by a beautiful message I received from someone in recovery—and from my own experience. If you’re struggling with intimacy, please know: you are not broken, and you are not alone.
In this episode, we explore:
Why intimacy often felt performative or disconnected during the eating disorder
How disconnection, people-pleasing and body shame show up in sex
What it means when your sex drive disappears… and when it comes rushing back
The nervous system truth behind sudden desire (and why it can feel like extreme hunger)
How to stop performing and start feeling again—on your own terms
Rebuilding safety in your body through small, gentle steps
Communicating with your partner when you feel too exposed, too emotional, or not enough
Letting intimacy evolve into something real, raw, and deeply healing
This episode is a love letter to anyone who feels confused or overwhelmed by intimacy in recovery. It’s not about getting it perfect—it’s about allowing yourself to be present, vulnerable, and loved just as you are.
If you’re feeling messy, unsure or alone in this part of recovery, this is for you.
Resources & Support
🌿 Join the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle – a private, supportive community where we talk honestly about every part of recovery, including intimacy
🌿 Looking for more personal support? Apply for 1:1 coaching with me
🌿 Explore the Feelings Navigator to support yourself through discomfort: https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/how-are-you-feeling
In this powerful episode of Fly to Freedom, I’m joined by someone whose story and work I deeply admire—Dr Rachel Evans. Rachel is a chartered psychologist, hypnotherapist, and podcast host with her own lived experience of bulimia recovery. Known for her compassionate and trauma-informed approach, she supports individuals who feel trapped in cycles of food obsession, body hatred, purging, and compulsive exercise.
Together, we explore a part of eating disorders that often lives in the shadows—purging behaviours. Whether it’s vomiting, laxatives, or over-exercising, these actions often feel impossible to stop. Rachel opens up about her personal journey through restriction, bingeing, and purging, revealing the emotional layers, life pressures, and deep-rooted fears that fed her eating disorder.
We discuss:
How control, perfectionism, and fear of rejection can fuel purging behaviours
Why purging often becomes a coping mechanism beyond just ‘getting rid of food’
The physical and emotional impact of purging on the body and mind
The turning point that made Rachel say “enough” and begin true healing
How to begin understanding your own urges to purge with curiosity, not shame
The role of identity, academic pressure, and self-worth in recovery
Why awareness and self-compassion are the first steps to lasting change
Rachel’s story is a testament to what’s possible when we stop fighting symptoms and start listening to what they’re trying to tell us. Whether you’re struggling with purging yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation, insight, and hope.
You can find Rachel on Instagram at @rachel.evans.phd or visit her website at eatingdisordertherapist.co.uk to explore her work and book a free consultation.
Julia will also be appearing on Rachel’s podcast soon—so stay tuned!
Julia Trehane is a specialist anorexia recovery coach who blends lived experience with compassionate, practical tools to help others achieve full freedom from eating disorders. To access workshops, courses, community support and 24/7 recovery tools, join The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle today: www.edrecoverycircle.com/join
Keywords: bulimia recovery, purging behaviours, compulsive exercise, binge purge cycle, eating disorder recovery, emotional healing, trauma-informed, body image, laxative abuse, stop purging, overcome bulimia, eating disorder therapist
This episode of Fly to Freedom is a heartfelt answer to a listener question that echoes what so many people feel in eating disorder recovery: How do I find the willpower to recover when it feels like I love both anorexia and recovery?
If you’ve ever felt torn—like you're standing between two lives, both calling your name—this episode is for you.
I’m sitting down with you, heart to heart, to explore the unbearable split that can happen in recovery. When one part of you is desperate for peace and freedom, and another part is still clinging to the eating disorder, it can feel like choosing between two identities, two versions of love, or two paths that both feel vital.
But what if it’s not willpower that you need?
What if it’s clarity?
In this episode, I share:
Why it’s not weakness to feel torn between recovery and anorexia
What’s really going on in your brain, body, and nervous system that keeps you attached to the eating disorder
Why anorexia often feels like love, but is actually a trauma bond disguised as safety
How to begin choosing recovery even when you don’t feel ready
A powerful journaling practice and practical steps to take when you feel stuck
The difference between survival mode and fully living—and why you deserve so much more than just surviving
Whether you’re at the very start of recovery or deep in the messy middle, this episode is a loving invitation to see things more clearly, to stop waiting for courage to arrive, and to begin choosing yourself again and again.
You don’t need more willpower.
You need support. You need truth. You need love.
And you’re allowed to take the next step—even if your hands are shaking.
Resources & Support
🌱 Come and be held in the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle — our private, compassionate recovery community filled with people who truly get it.
💬 If this episode brought something up for you, feel free to reach out on Instagram or email me your thoughts or questions — I love hearing from you.
🎧 And if you're ready for deeper, personalised support, I currently have a few 1:1 coaching spaces available.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. You never did.
And you were always enough—just as you are.
This month, Victoria and I sat down for another open-hearted Q&A, where we answered your beautiful, brave, and deeply honest questions about recovery.
From the fear of weight gain to exercising in a free body… from feeling lost in free time to wondering whether you’ve truly reached your set point weight… we covered so much of what recovery really looks and feels like – the messy, the magical, and everything in between.
Whether you’re in the thick of fear or starting to sense your own strength coming through, I promise you’ll find something here that speaks to your heart.
In this episode, we explore:
🔸 How I gave myself permission to let go of control – and how you can too
🔸 Why fear of judgment is part of the process – and how to stop letting it define you
🔸 My honest experience of movement after recovery (and why I quit CrossFit… again)
🔸 What to do when you feel like you’re rebelling against recovery
🔸 How I support my clients navigating recovery and motherhood
🔸 The truth about fear of weight gain – and how I finally stopped letting it control my life
🔸 How to know if you’ve reached your set point weight
🔸 Recognising subtle food and exercise rules – even when you think you don’t have any
🔸 Mindset tools I use with clients before meals (and still use myself!)
🔸 My thoughts on DBT in recovery – and what I believe it misses
🔸 Why free time can feel scary – and how I learned to enjoy it again
I also shared some of my personal favourite recovery tools, including how I support my body after movement, how I help clients connect with their 'higher self' before meals, and why recording affirmations in your own voice can be so healing.
If you’re asking “How do I know if I’m really recovering?” or “Why does this still feel so hard?” – this episode is for you. And I hope it reminds you that you're never alone.
🔗 I mentioned:
Join the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle to access tools like the Feelings Navigator, Finding Your WHY, recovery chat spaces, and every workshop I reference in this episode.
Life Without Ed by Jenni Schaefer – a great read if you’re trying to separate your identity from the eating disorder.
💞 Ready for deeper support in your recovery?
Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, you'll find 24/7 encouragement, courses, expert workshops, and the kind of community where you never have to explain what you're going through — because we already understand.
If you’re ready to move through fear, challenge old patterns, and build a life beyond the eating disorder, you’ll never feel so supported to recover.
Click here to join us – we’re waiting to welcome you in.
In this episode, I’m speaking to the part of you that’s exhausted — the part that’s wondering if recovery is really worth it.
Maybe you're eating more than you ever thought you could. You feel uncomfortable in your body. Your mind is loud, full of guilt and panic, and you're starting to ask... Why am I even doing this?
I asked myself that same question so many times. I lived most of my life stuck in survival mode, functioning but never really living. I thought control was safety. But recovery showed me that true freedom is possible — and that it's worth every hard, terrifying step.
In this episode, I’m sharing what recovery really gives you. Not just food freedom — but emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual freedom too. A life that feels full, joyful, and real. And I want you to know: you are not too far gone. You don’t have to be “sick enough” to deserve healing. You are allowed to want more.
And if you’re doing this alone right now, please know — you don’t have to.
Inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle, I’ve created a place where you can find the support, guidance, and connection you need. You’ll get access to expert tools, lived experience coaching, loving community spaces, and courses to help you through every stage of recovery. It’s like being wrapped in support — even on your hardest days.
The true cost of staying in the eating disorder, even when you’re “managing”
Why perfection and people pleasing aren’t safety — they’re a cage
The freedom recovery offers in your body, your emotions, and your relationships
Why your healing isn’t selfish — it’s a ripple that touches every life around you
How recovery reconnects you with your worth, your truth, and your joy
If you’ve been doubting whether this fight is worth it… let this be your reminder:
You were born to be free. Not perfect. Just fully, wonderfully you.
💛 Want support that actually gets it? Come join me inside The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle.
In this episode of Fly to Freedom, I'm joined by Dr Cristina Castagnini, a licensed psychologist and certified eating disorder specialist whose work focuses exclusively on helping women heal their relationship with food and their bodies. Cristina is also the host of the Behind the Bite podcast, where she dismantles harmful eating disorder myths and supports recovery with compassion and clarity.
We explore Cristina’s personal journey with a long-standing eating disorder, the shocking moment that sparked her full recovery, and the deeply ingrained societal beliefs that keep so many trapped in cycles of disordered eating. From early body shame to SlimFast diets, and the rise of "wellness" trends that mask restriction, this episode is an eye-opening and honest look at what it truly takes to heal.
Together, we discuss:
Cristina’s personal story and what finally pushed her into real recovery
How diet culture disguises itself as health
The danger of BMI, especially for children and in clinical settings
The power of curating your social media to support recovery
Why commenting on appearance—even with good intentions—can be deeply harmful
And why full recovery is not only possible… it is absolutely real
If you’ve ever felt discouraged by the idea that eating disorders are lifelong, or if you're struggling with fear around body image and food, this episode is here to remind you that full freedom is not just a hope—it’s a reality.
Connect with Dr Cristina Castagnini
🎧 Listen to her podcast: Behind the Bite
🌐 Website + Contact: www.behindthebitepodcast.com
📱Instagram and socials linked via website
Don't forget that my Eating Disorder Recovery Circle is here to support you!
More at https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/